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Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon

a travel blog by The Happy Couple

Michael's view on the trip. This blog is really mostly for me, so that I'll have a clearer memory of the trip when it's done, like a journal, so please forgive me my obsessions like sampling and photographing all the local food and the booze. It's just my thing!

Also please forgive all typos, spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes. I'm usually doing this in a rush, and most of the time it's on such a slow PC that it would take even longer to check for mistakes and correct them.

The blog is usually 2 to 3 weeks behind, but I try to keep next few locations on the map up-to-date. You can see the schedule dates associated with the map if you go to http://blogabond.com/TripView.aspx?TripID=4517 and click "Show Newest First" or, if the maps are causing problems try http://blogabond.com/TripView.aspx?tripID=4517&slow=1
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Full Moon Festival in Hoi An

Hoi An, Vietnam


On the way to the beach
We started the day with two excellent coffee shakes. Nice and strong. The weather looked like it had turned in our favour again, so we hired a couple of bicycles (10000 dong each) and headed off to the beach, passing through some lovely agrarian scenes on the way; the countryside never seems very far away in Vietnam. When we arrived at the beach, someone there tried to charge us 5000 dong each to park our bicycles, but I managed to get him down to 5000 together when I complained that the bikes only cost 10000.

After a nice wee sunbathe and swim we headed back into town for the full moon festival, stopping off for some bia hoi on the way. To my horror it cost 5000, so they are obviously not part of the cartel; however in compensation they gave us some snacks to have along with our beer: some boiled quails eggs.


Japanese Bridge
Back in town, we (inevitably) bumped into Marty and Jochem, and discovered (inevitably) they were staying in the same hotel as us again. The full moon festival looked pretty, but there wasn't really much going on: stalls selling food and lamps, and people selling candles in lanterns to sail down the river for good luck, as well as loads of floats of mythical creatures on the river. During the course of the evening we bumped into Russell, who was about to start heading north again, so we won't see him again. After a fair bit of harrassment from little kids I bought a lantern and threw it into the river, where it breached against the side. Immediately a small child scrambled down the side and lifted it our of the water, presumably to resell to some other unsuspecting, to-be-luckless shmuck.

Emboldened by the experiment of the previous night we bought a bottle of the local brandy to drink in our room.



permalink written by  The Happy Couple on February 8, 2009 from Hoi An, Vietnam
from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon
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Last day in Hoi An

Hoi An, Vietnam

The last day in Hoi An was quite quiet. I bought a mystery thing in a banana leaf parcel, which turned out to be a sweet glutinous rice ball, stuffed with coconut; very nice!
I bought Sellotape from a stall at the market, where a pair of very cheeky girls tried brazenly to rip me off.

Cheeky girls at rip-off stall
After haggling them down to 20000, from an outrageous 80000 for a wee roll of tape, they tried the classic "one more, one more for 20000" trick when I handed over the 100000 note. I was ready for this, though, and told them how cheeky they were. Then, to get them back, I decided to take a photo of them as I left; but as soon as I took my camera out, one of the girls said "10000! 10000!" and hid her face.

During this time Joanne was off spending nearly half-a-million on dresses! I just sat and drank and people watched (and photo'd).

I also took the opportunity to sample another local speciality: fish steamed in banana leaf. The guide books all rave about it, albeit in different, more expensive establishments than the one we were in. While waiting for my food, I went to the toilet, which required me to walk past the kitchen.


Supposed steamed fish in banana leaf speciality
On the way back to my seat, I happened to notice something looking roughly fish-shaped, going round and round in the microwave, with absolutely no banana leaf anywhere near it. Well, clearly it couldn't be my fish steamed in banana leaf. Yet, when my fish arrived, in its banana leaf, it had the chewy, dry texture you might expect of something microwaved, rather than the juicy, soft texture of something steamed. Also the garlic and herbs over the top didn't seem to have infused any flavours into the fish as you might expect in a steaming situation; in fact they seemed almost as if they had been fried and then plopped on top of the fish, presumably just before they wrapped it in a re-usable banana leaf; it had a mystery red sauce on parts of it, which didn't have anything to do with my fish. Oh well, you can't win them all!

permalink written by  The Happy Couple on February 9, 2009 from Hoi An, Vietnam
from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon
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Whistle-stop Nha Trang

Nha Trang, Vietnam

The guide books are fairly disparaging of Nha Trang, so we didn't plan to spend long there, however a slight error when booking our buses meant that we were staying there only one night instead of two; but we didn't mind because we were going to go to Mui Ne later, which is supposed to be a much quieter beach experience compared to the rowdy unpleasant Nha Trang beach resort. As we only had one day, and we weren't expecting it to be beach weather, we planned to spend some time and money at the mineral mud bath. When we arrived, after our overnight bus, this time up the back where I had more leg room, the place seemed OK to me. Not too touristy, actually, with quite a "real city" feel.

Joanne pointed out to me that there was a place called the Louisiana Brew house, where they microbrewed their on beer, so I headed there while we were deciding what to do about getting to the mud baths. The beer was excellent, but well our of our price range, so I just bought a 200ml x 4 "taster" platter. Sitting there amongst all the swimming pools, and sun-loungers and Japanese food, and menus with very expensive cocktails on them, we thought this is what the "other Vietnam tourism" is about. We left and secured a bike, which I was very proud of haggling down to 80000 from 120000, then buzzed off to the mud baths.


Mud Bath

Well I've never had a mud bath before and it was OK. Kind of nice. Weird. After the mud bath they had all sort of other stages you were meant to go through, like being blasted from both sides by hot mineral water, soaking in a hot tub, and then you could spend as much time as you want in the hot mineral water swimming pool. I didn't care about any of that, I just wanted the mud to help my dreadlocks!

On the way back we stopped off at Po Nagar Cham Towers, which was built between the 7th and 12th Century; four towers, three of them featuring lingas.

Next it was Long Son Pagoda. We were already starting to become a bit bored with Pagodas, but this one has a reclining Buddha, which we had to see to compare with the one in Bangkok (I'm sure there's little comparison); and also a large sitting Buddha.


Sitting Buddha at Long Son Pagoda
I quite like the temples for all the garish kitsch; you may think that Catholics can do religious kitsch well, but the East is way ahead. And they've got them beat where incense is concerned as well. Pagodas are all the same though: octagonal tower of several layers, big bell, a few temples, lots of monks.


The boys at the bia hoi place
Heading back home, and almost there, I spotted a bia hoi place; the first I'd seen in Nha Trang. Following my obsession with getting the real deal, this looked like just the place. Definitely no tourists here! Another way of telling a real Vietnamese place is the lack of sensible seats: everyone sits at kiddie chairs around kiddie tables; they remind me of the "childrens table" at family Christmas, except it's grown men round them. So we stopped off, to the amusement of everyone there, which is always a good authenticity sign as well I find. "Bia hoi" I said. "One bottle?" the proprietor replied with shaky English.

The Real McCoy of bia hoi
Oh no - he's misunderstood I think, bia hoi comes out a draft, expensive beer comes in a bottle; and my suspicions were confirmed when he said it was 20000. But when it arrived I realised there was no mistake. It was a two litre bottle. So we ordered some food from the all Vietnamese menu, taking a chance, and it was very nice. The proprietor seemed keen to practice his English, but I think it was off its peak due to the large amount of beer he and his mates had already drunk. When it came to pay the bill, I think the waitress just charged me what it should have been instead of following the opportunistic money-making the owner had planned; the beer was in fact only 14000 dong -- about 45p for 2 litres.

That evening I had frogs for the first time in my life. They were OK, but I wouldn't rush to have them again. I can see why the French only eat the legs as well: the ribs are a bit unpleasant to contemplate, and they don't taste as nice either; or maybe that taste as little.


"Minced" frogs in spicy sauce

permalink written by  The Happy Couple on February 10, 2009 from Nha Trang, Vietnam
from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon
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Cham Tower on the way to Da Lat

Phan Rang-Thap Cham, Vietnam


Cham Towers
An early morning bus took us from Nha Trang on the way to Da Lat, after leaving our passports behind at the hotel, only to have them delivered to me by the hotel owner on a bike just after Joanne ran back to the hotel; a bit confusing. We stopped for lunch at a service station on the way, where there were some more excellent Cham towers; obviously they are just all over Vietnam. Same plan as last time: three towers in a row, one off to the side.



permalink written by  The Happy Couple on February 11, 2009 from Phan Rang-Thap Cham, Vietnam
from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon
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Arrival in Da Lat

Da Lat, Vietnam


Dried cherry tomatoes, persimmon, hibiscus, mixed vegetables crisps, and artichoke tea
Da Lat was a French colonial summer highland retreat, much like Shimla in India was to the English. The road was quite like the one to Shimla, but the driver thankfully was not as murderous/suicidal as the one on my trip to Shimla. The guide book talks of the obvious French influence in the architecture, but we saw nothing that didn't look like modern Vietnamese concrete. The one exception was the radio tower at the Post Office, which is a copy of the Eiffel Tower; unfortunately I neglected to take a photo.

Dried hibiscus
Da Lat is famed for its vegetable and fruit produce, because the French planted all sort of things from home that wouldn't grow in the lowlands of Vietnam, so its specialities are things like artichoke tea, dried fruit, and avocado ice cream (apparently, although I saw none of the avocado ice cream). We dived in, and bought artichoke tea (very nice) and loads of dried stuff at the market: mixed vegetable crisps, dried cherry tomatoes, dried persimmon ("old" and "new"), and dried hibiscus, which is delicious.

Another speciality it hot soya milk, which is sold from lots of stalls on the street. When we went up to buy some we discovered that they also sell hot "mung bean milk" and hot "peanut milk", so we had to try them too. All very nice!


permalink written by  The Happy Couple on February 11, 2009 from Da Lat, Vietnam
from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon
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Around Da Lat

Da Lat, Vietnam

A bit disillusioned with Da Lat itself, we decided to hire a bike again, after knocking back some very insistent "Easy Riders", who take you on motorbike tours around the area; out of our price range again. We headed off to Tiger Falls, which should have been the easiest and closest to get to of the many in the area. We thought we'd be able to get there without the decent map we couldn't find, because the direction in the Lonely Planet were quite good, but not long after we hit the road I realised that neither the speedo not the odometer worked. The speedo's not a problem, since these bikes can't really break the speed limit, but without the odometer, we have no way of following the Lonely Planet's direction. Regardless we found our way to the neighbouring village of Trai Mat, where we noticed a Pagoda, marked on the map, but not mentioned in either guide book. We nearly didn't bother because we'd seen several of them already, but this one was absolutely gorgeous -- and free! I think it must be a newish one, therefore of no historical interest, therefore not of tourist interest; but it was still beautiful... and free! Now we reckon we don't need to see any more pagodas as this one was so impressive; a bit like never needing so see another Catholic church after St Peter's in the Vatican.

Da Bao Tower at Linh Phuoc Pagoda in Trai Mat


Tiger Falls
After a bit of searching we found the turn off to Tiger Falls and took the bumpy, loose road to the waterfall. At one point we almost turned around when we noticed that the ground to the right of the road was burning; and then we noticed that the ground to the left of the road too. A bit like a forest fire. But we pressed on anyway as it was starting to rain a bit, and it didn't take long to get through the smoke. The falls were a bit disappointing; you can see stuff like that, but better, all over Scotland. Same same but mosquitoes instead of midgies. The had a story behind their significance, but it all seems to centre around making the large game, that used to live in the region, extinct.


View from Cable car to reservoir in Da Lat
Next stop was the cable car. I didn't really care where it went, but the guide books talked about the stunning view. Then, at the cable car station, disaster struck! One of Joanne's fillings came out! We decided to wait for Saigon to deal with that.
The views on the cable car were OK, but nothing compared to, say, the Aonach Mor cable car. And, strangely, the cable car seemed to owe its existence to a reservoir. OK, it's quite a big reservoir, but a tourist attraction? There were loads of shops, and stalls, and restaurants, and boat trips on the reservoir, and some gardens, and temples. And so on.

Reservoir in Da Lat
They are obviously very proud of this reservoir, and see it as a great tourist asset. It's just a body of water. Really you can see much better bodies of water all over Scotland. At this point Joanne said "maybe there's not point coming the highlands of Vietnam if you are from Scotland". Maybe. But Scotland doesn't produce coffee, which is one of the reasons I wanted to go there, but we hadn't signed up for the Easy Rider trip, so we weren't going to a coffee plantation anyway; good maps are impossible to get hold of. Anyway time for another local speciality: egg, (soy, of course) milk, and soda. It's exactly as it says, and not that disgusting.

Next up, the "Crazy House". Doubled its price since the November guide book, and not worth the money. The architect is the daughter of Vietnam's second president, which is apparently why such monstrosity has not been bull-dozed. The guide describes it as a cross between Gaudi and Alice In Wonderland. I'd say it's more of a cross between Disney and Alice In Wonderland. They're still building it too, which I suppose is why they needed to double the entrance! It's what happens when an architect falls too much in love with reinforced concrete. And animals.


Durian ice cream and salted apricot and lemon drink
I got rid of another book that day: Tales of Power by Carlos Castaneda in the Peace Cafe. I also had two more local specialities: durian ice cream, and a drink made from salted apricots, and lemon, hot.

permalink written by  The Happy Couple on February 12, 2009 from Da Lat, Vietnam
from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon
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Mui Ne, Vietnam



permalink written by  The Happy Couple on February 13, 2009 from Mui Ne, Vietnam
from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon
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Mui Ne is a hole and it stinks

Mui Ne, Vietnam

For breakfast, we returned to the lovely vegetarian cafe we'd discovered the previous day in Da Lat. Little did we know but it was to be the last decent meal for several days.


The beach in front of our hotel
We arrived in Mui Ne (strictly speaking, Mui Ne Beach, I think -- Mui Ne Village is a little along the coast) and immediately I wondered where the centre was; on the way in we just passed resort after resort, but no "real" town. Luckily our hotel / resort was close to where the bus stopped, so we were able to get there without giving in to the constant harassment from "xe om" drivers; and we had booked in advance because we'd heard it books up at the weekend, so we could completely ignore the hotel touts as well. The hotel room was OK, but smaller than we had become accustomed to; we had finally discovered that in Vietnam (and China it seemed as well), ALL hotel beds are double beds, so we only really need to ask for a single room.

Sunset from our private beach
The beach however was a massive disappointment: we'd been looking forward to the beach here for the whole trip so far. Both guide books described the place as a nice quiet place for enjoying the beach. But there is no beach! Not unless you are booked into an expensive resort. Our more modest resort has only a few feet of beach (tide is out in the photo). Two resorts up from ours has none at all: the waves lap up against a concrete wave-break where the hotel ends. Most resorts, including ours, seem to have private beaches, which are really just sandpits with loungers in them.


The neighbouring "beaches"
After the disappointment of the lack of beach, we had a wee wander outside. There really doesn't seem to be any centre or town or anything apart from a strip of resorts and very empty bars, cafes, and restaurants. We soon discovered that the prices of everything are between two and three times what we'd been paying elsewhere in Vietnam. This meant that we felt we couldn't afford a moped, which would have been the obvious way to try and find something worth seeing nearby. We were planning to pay for a trip to see the nearby sand dunes anyway, so reasoned we really wouldn't need much transport. We had come here to sunbathe primarily, so we'd just sit on our private beach and make the most of it.


Our lovely beach
Heading back to the hotel I asked an older gentleman on a bicycle how much he paid for it; yet again the going rate was about three times what we'd paid before, but it was more affordable than a moped. In kind he asked us how much we were paying for our accommodation, and when he liked what he heard he asked if he could follow us back. On the way back, we discovered he was originally from Hawaii and had moved to Asia when he retired; he'd been living in Saigon, where his girlfriend was, but he felt he needed to get away from the pollution. While Joanne was in a shop, buying water or something, I made conversation: did he retire to Asia to make his money go further? Yes, he said, partly, but mostly because young women find him more attractive here than in the US. Apparently he was pushing seventy and his girlfriend is twenty-one (I have a life-time supply of Viagra, he confided). Later I told Joanne about this and she simply said "men are dirty dogs".


Food served with knives and forks!!
I hated the place, so I decided to catch up on the blog and spent the whole of the second day there online. Didn't quite catch up as the free internet place (a rarity in Mui Ne) decided I was taknig advantage and kicked me out! The town just got worse and worse. For breakfast we had what would normally have been cheap food for the locals; it was worse than anything like it we'd had, and it cost twice as much! In the tourist places (almost everywhere else) the food was served with knives and forks! I had to ask for chopsticks the first time it happened because it seemed too unnatural not to use them; by the second place I'd given up.

Wherever you are in Mui Ne your nose is assaulted by a periodic stench. Now, most of Vietnam smells a bit, and as you move around a town or the country, you get occasional wafts of fish. Everywhere. I think a lot of it may be down to people drying, or storing dried, squid etc in their homes. Maybe they make fish sauce at home. But it's never too unpleasant. Mui Ne stinks! This is an industrial version of the same smell. Rotting, rancid, reeking, revolting. And you are hit with it every time a lorry goes down the main road, which is about every ten minutes maximum; and since there is NOTHING but the main road, you are always there to smell it.

I think an avocado shake was the only nice thing I consumed there, and given that food is so central to my experience (have you noticed?) this was another big let-down. The second night there this came to a head: struck by acute food poisoning in the middle of the night; the "aubergines stuffed with funny tasting half-cooked pork mince" the prime suspect. You'd think the name of the dish might have forewarned me! Dune trip cancelled. Too ill to blog more. So I just read a bit in the sun; Joanne was burnt the day before so couldn't even do that. So we did nothing! Didn't see the sand dunes which seem to be the only thing to see; couldn't afford to go windsurfing which is the other big attraction; and there just isn't anything to the town. We confirmed this by renting bicycles for a day and discovered, just like it lacks any soul, it also lacks any centre. This also made me resolve not to hire any more bicycles: they have no gears and they are made for small Asians, so you can't get any decent speed up at all (imagine a BMX the shape of a touring bike), and it kills my knees because of short distance to the peddles. Mopeds only from now on!

Mysteriously, the food poisoning seemed to disappear just in time for leaving the horrible place.

permalink written by  The Happy Couple on February 15, 2009 from Mui Ne, Vietnam
from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon
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Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam



permalink written by  The Happy Couple on February 16, 2009 from Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon
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Admin in Saigon

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

If Mui Ne taught me one thing it's that I'm spending far too long on this blog! The problem is the more we do, the more I have to write about, but the less time I have to do it. Now, after Mui Ne, and doing nothing fun in Saigon I think I can catch up... but I'm going to try and be more brief in future AND keep up to date.


Bikes!


Snails
The bus on the way to Saigon broke down, but we didn't have to wait long before we were decanted on the another tour company's bus. The room we got here is another step down: on the fifth floor, the roof, which was fun with a 30kg bag, with construction work going on just outside our room, on the roof of the next hotel. And we suspected bed bugs, but I think that was just paranoia after realising the bed had not been properly changed: there was hair on the undersheet. Saigon seems like a lot of fun though, and the food is excellent again.

Dale and Erin
But all we've done is find a dentist, plan when we are going to re-schedule our flights to, got pissed with a couple of Americans who were celebrating getting a long-term lease. English teachers of course (just like most of the ex-pats here). Then, today, we got Joanne's tooth fixed, spent ages looking for travel agents, which have all moved since our information was printed, so that we can reschedule our flights; this turned out to be a lot more expensive that we expected i.e. free, with a possible SMALL admin fee. Hmpf!


Air-conditioning in german bier halle
At least we found a large German bier halle during our wanders, where they make excellent beer, and have unusual fans which disperse water aerosol as a low-tech aircon system (while the barman picks his nose). The one down so far, is that I was cheated at a bia hoi place. The old woman who was in charge, pretended I'd given her 50000 rather than 100000. I think a lot of people land here, so she must take advantage of their unfamiliarity with the money. Of course she loses, really, because this place was the cheapest around and just opposite our hotel. There is no way we'd have spent anything like as little as 50000 over the next three days. It's very annoying though. More the insult than the two pounds she stole, really! So the last thing we had to organise here is our trip to Cambodia via the Mekong delta, which Joanne is off doing right now.

The last thing you need to know about Saigon is that there are LOADS of mopeds.

permalink written by  The Happy Couple on February 18, 2009 from Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon
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