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I go Korea!

a travel blog by alli_ockinga


On Feb. 1, I arrive in Korea (yes, South Korea) for a year of teaching English in Incheon.

Why? How?

It started last summer, when I was sitting in the woods with my best friends, lamenting my lack of foreseeable future. Kim had great plans to move to Seattle, and Ellen was about to return to Asia for the third time--this time on her way to Korea. They had direction that I envied, as I popped the top on another PBR and sighed disconsolately at the idea of my upcoming student teaching. After that, I would be certified to teach, but then what?

"You could try to get a job around Boise," they said. At 23, was I already doomed to settle in a beat-up southern Idaho town, living for those Fridays I could escape to the urban bliss of Boise? Please, God, not yet!

"You could go to grad school," they said. I was much too poor for that, and lacked the focus after four years of undergrad.

"Maybe the Peace Corps," I said. It always seems like a good idea.

"Don't do that," Ellen said. "Come to Korea instead." I thought about it. Just for a year...and I'd still get to travel...and teach...and get PAID. I took another sip.

"Okay. I will." Six months later, here we go.
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Doctor Fish Massage

Siem Reap, Cambodia


Cambodia again. This time, we're walking down the aptly named Bar Street when we see
a shallow pool on the street filled with attractive young men with appealing foreign accents.

“This looks like an interesting situation,” I comment.
“We should probably join these gentlemen in whatever they’re doing,” Ellen concurs.

On approaching the pool, we find the young men to be just as attractive up close as they seemed from a distance. Their feet are submerged in lightly gurgling water, but that’s not all. Thousands of tiny fish are in the pool also, and they seem to be sucking on the attractive toes of the aforementioned young men.

“You want a fish massage?” asks a young Cambodian woman, standing off to the side with a towel and bowl of water. “Three dollar for twenty minutes.”
“What is a fish massage?”
“Doctor fish, eat your dead feet, make them smooth and feel good.”
“How is it?” Ellen asks the men.
“Downright bonza,” he says cheerfully. Must be a Kiwi, or at least an Aussie. I’ve noticed they have a tendency to cut off words halfway through and either simply end them or throw on a Z and call them slang. Presents are prezzies, sunglasses are sunnies, and it seems that bonkers is bonza.

“Want to do it, Ellen?” Before I even finish her name, she’s sitting on the edge of the pool, removing her Chacos. I take that as a yes. The woman washes our feet, which makes me feel like Jesus.

As a species, I like fish okay. I can eat them and touch them and, if pressed, can manage to extract some fillets out of them, possibly a bit mangled, but edible. I’ve even owned a fishing license at two separate points in my life to appease the two—not one, but two—men I’ve dated who actually worked for Fish and Game. So, while I’m not an expert, I’m no stranger to fish. Still, that doesn’t prepare me for the moment I stick my feet in the warm pool and dozens of little fish swarm up to my feet and start biting them. It doesn’t hurt. It’s more ticklish than anything, and it’s weird as hell. I imagined it would feel like mischievous fairies pinching me, but it’s more like a thousand tiny Hoovers sucking away in an attempt to cleanse my summer feet.

I remember to breathe after about fifteen seconds, which is better than I can say for the girl across from me in the pool. At the first bite, she leapt from the pool, shrieking, and was now doing what appeared to be the Dirty Bird dance to rid herself of the feeling.

Ellen seems to find it fascinating. “Look at their little mouths,” she says. “Are they actually eating our flesh? What do you think it tastes like? If we ate one of these fish, would that be like cannibalism?”

The other travelers are slowly scooting away from us in what they suspect is a subtle manner, but we don’t care. Someone gets out, and their fish immediately migrate to our fresh feet, and start methodically gnawing away. It reminds me of the way I eat corn on the cob. A couple daring swimmers try to get between my toes, but I’m having none of that. They can stick to the standard outside calluses, thank you very much.

After twenty minutes, our time is up, and once again the woman washes our feet, now pink and slightly shriveled from dinner. I touch my toes, and I think they feel a little smoother, but it’s possible that’s just my optimism showing through. Either way, we pay our three dollars cheerfully, feeling like we’ve done a good deed by feeding the animals, and march merrily on our way down Bar Street. I've just had my toes nibbled under water, and it's definitely time for a beer.


permalink written by  alli_ockinga on September 1, 2009 from Siem Reap, Cambodia
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ROK, rivers, baseball, GRE, oh my!

Seoul, South Korea


Here we are in September, my uncontested favorite time of the year, and Indian Summer is in full swing here. The weather has been nothing short of delightful, so my friends and I have been making the most of it. Here are some September highlights:

I started the month out with a trip north to the DMZ. It was actually quite a bit less

spectacular than I had imagined, but still I think it's important to visit in order to understand Korea (or at least make the attempt to). I do remember being struck by the clear division of countries. In the picture, you can see where the trees stop--that's where N. Korea begins. While mismanagement of natural resources isn't their biggest issue, it did make for a striking contrast.

That same day, I got to go whitewater rafting. While rafting is always awesome, I could have used a little more excitement. It was mostly class threes, with maybe one class four rapid, and I couldn't help but miss the roaring waters of the Salmon down in Stanley. The guides have a rule there that if you dump a rider, you have to buy a case of beer for the other guides, but if you manage to flip the whole boat, everyone else has to buy you a case. That happens more often than you'd think, especially when the water's high. Still, even those guides would occasionally remark that that area of the Salmon wasn't as crazy as the Middle Fork. I guess we all have our paradise.

Recently, we discovered a climbing wall in Boramae Park, near where my friends Denise, Hannah and Michelle live in Seoul. Naturally, we all gave it a shot. By default, Michelle and I were the "experienced" climbers of the group, having done it before. However, it had been more than a year for Michelle and almost that for me, so we were a little apprehensive, especially when we saw a super-ripped Korean dude scramble up the advanced wall in about two minutes in BARE FEET. I was jealous. We got harnessed and up to the wall, and didn't even have to tie ourselves in--whether because he didn't trust us to do it ourselves or didn't want to try speaking in English, I don't know, but the Barefoot Man tied us in without a word. Korea is nothing if not a place of convenience. Despite a little trepidation, Michelle and I got right back into the groove, and all I can say is it felt amazing to get back up on some ropes again! Plus, the ever-amusing Konglish was at its peak that day. "Boryup winjeok!" Barefoot would say, coaching. That means left knee, so I'd move my leg up and then he would call, encouragingly, "Good baby." Trying not to laugh lest I lose my grip, I smiled appreciatively. "Good monkey baby!" he said again. I've learned to take compliments where and how I can get them here. I almost forgot how much I love climbing--I've yet to find another sport that offers quite the same balance of physical challenge and sense of accomplishment as climbing. No pics because I forgot my camera that day, unfortunately, but I'll definitely be back.

The next day, I went with several girls to a baseball game in Seoul, which I've been wanting to do for some time now. It was a good time, and all very Korean, of course. By that I mean there was a lot of coordinated cheers complete with mandatory dance moves

and enthusiastic use of thundersticks. It was Bears vs. Tigers; just before the game, I had chosen to be a Tiger fan because I like tigers more than bears, but this turned out to be folly, as "my" team lost 8-1, I believe. Still, as I wasn't too emotionally invested, I can't complain about a nice day at the ballpark. Also, we met one of the Tigers afterwards. I think he was afraid of us. And it turns out we were on TV! My students told me that they saw me on TV during one of the pitching changes. I've always wanted to appear on TV without having to do anything spectacular, so...check that one off the list.

Finally, I've been keeping busy between outdoor pursuits by studying for the GRE. I have decided to try to get into grad school for *cross your fingers* creative writing, which shouldn't surprise anyone who knows me. In Asia, they administer the GRE as a split test, meaning the writing portion is done at one session, and the math/verbal portion is done at another date. So I did the writing part today, which consists of two essays. That's all I'm allowed to tell you, or else the Educational Testing Services goons will come and kill me. But I will say that it went about as well as I thought it would--the first essay went really well, and the second went reasonably okay. But since most writers are their own worst critics, I probably did fine. Now it's on to relearning algebra for Part Two in October. Wish me luck!



permalink written by  alli_ockinga on September 15, 2009 from Seoul, South Korea
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Golgulsa Temple Stay

Inch'on, South Korea


It’s been quite some time since I’ve had any certainty in life about the existence of anything beyond the corporeal. Despite growing up with the Church, I still remember being in first communion prep classes thinking, if this wine really turns to blood, then I am out. And I was eight. So I’ve always had a bit of a wandering spirit, which keeps itself warm with a light cloak of skepticism, and I’m comfortable with that. But then, Ellen has always been one to force me out of my comfort zone—for which I usually end up thanking her—so, I’ve agreed to spend this weekend at the Zen Buddhist temple in Gyeongju, where she is about a third of the way through her three-month stay. Besides, I really miss her.

I arrive at Golgulsa, which means Stone Buddha Temple, around four in the afternoon, after a six-hour bus ride that leaves my knees aching for some exercise, and boy, am I about to get it. We serve ourselves a simple meal of kimchi, plain rice, mushrooms, and tofu soup. Mmmm. Traditionally, I have always hated tofu, mostly because it has the same consistency of my dirty dish sponge. But to complain would be un-Buddha-like, so I swallow my objections. Even if I had given in to my initial inclination to sneer scornfully at the tofu, that wouldn’t have gotten me very far, since the temple has an extreme policy against wasting food, and if you take it, you must eat it all, down to the last grain of rice. The whole meal, I keep flashing back to being seven years old, only now my mom was wearing the loose gray monk’s robes, saying she didn’t care if that last bite of taco had accidentally been contaminated by my dad’s sour cream spoon, I was going to eat it because we were lucky to have it and there were starving people in Asia. Now I look to my right, where the men are segregated, at the meager portions of rice each monk allows himself, and I think, once again, my mom was right.

After dinner, I get settled into Ellen’s room, which is completely devoid of furnishings of any kind, save the mats we will sleep on, a thin blanket, and a small, flat pillow filled with cut straw. “Welcome to asceticism,” she says, cheerfully. “Don’t worry, you’ll be so tired at the end of the day that you won’t even notice you’re on the floor.”

My first zennish experience falls just after dinner, as we make our way to the gym for bows and chanting. One thing I appreciate about the Zen Buddhists is that they don’t view Buddhism strictly as a religion, since Buddha himself never claimed to be God, which I think is quite decent of him. Instead, they view it as a way of life, and as such, it is more than okay to be a Christian or anything else, and still practice Zen Buddhism. Therefore, we bow not as a penitent to a deity, but as a sign of honor to a teacher, which is a concept I find I can more readily get behind. I’m glad they aren’t demanding my alliance, and that I don’t have to pretend reverence.

I echo Ellen’s movement with the full-body bows, which are nothing to scoff at. You begin standing with your hands in prayer position, then sink to your knees before falling prostrate on the floor, arms outstretched in front of you as you sit back on your feet in child’s pose. You then touch your palms to your shoulders, then back down to the floor, sit back up on your knees with hands back to prayer position, and stand up again. Something about the repetition of the movement appeals to me, and I find myself sinking into a slight trance as the ritual goes on to the sharp sound of a wooden gong and the chanting of well-worn words that somehow make the monks’ young voices seem wizened. However, by bow 45 or so, I start to wonder just how long this is going to last, and my mind begins to wander. The chanting is a little reminiscent of hearing an entire congregation recite the Apostle’s Creed: equal parts inspiring and unnerving. 108 bows later, we finish, and I wince at the renewed pangs in my joints, which doesn’t escape Ellen’s notice. She nods in understanding. “Temple life is hard on the knees.”

Before bed, we go back to the gym for sunmudo training, a zen martial art that was practiced exclusively by monks until about twenty years ago. Golgulsa is the sunmudo headquarters of the world, so it’s kind of a big deal. It’s not exactly the flashy ninja business to which I’ve become accustomed, however, because it’s not intended to be martial at all, but as a way to use breathing as a bridge between your mind and your body so they are one. In other words, it’s not about fighting. It mostly seems to be a lot of breathing, and of course more meditating. “See?” Ellen says, “it’s the perfect martial art because you don’t have to hurt anybody!”

“Uh-huh,” I say, breathing deeply and thinking with longing of the swords in Master’s office. We’re woken up at four the next morning by a chanting monk hitting a gong outside our doorway. First up is more chanting, followed yet again by meditation. I am not very good at meditation, falling victim to what another writer—Steven Copeland, I think—calls “puppy mind.” I’m supposed to be emptying my mind and focusing only on the present moment, but instead my thoughts bounce about in the silence just like a young lab: so early—don’t fall asleep—wonder what Anthony’s up to these days—Ross Lake sounds awesome—I want to see a bear—when do I get my GRE scores back—I hope I get in—maybe I can live in Montana—Ellen!—God my knees hurt—what’s Matt doing today?—there are bears in Montana—I live in Korea—I’m sitting by a monk—that monk is kind of cute—close your eyes, that’s not allowed—stay awake—on and on. After half an hour, we stand up for more meditating, this time while walking up to a statue at the top of a twisted path leading up an unforgiving hillside. This exercise goes a little better for me as I get to contemplate the sunrise, because at this point, I’m honestly starting to get tired of myself and need some outside stimulation. I used to have a once-weekly sunrise policy, where on Tuesdays I’d get up early enough to catch sun-up, but somehow in Korea that habit fell into disrepair. I’m considering reinstating it, because it’s the first unfalsified calm I’ve felt all weekend.

After Buddhist breakfast and tea time, we’re allowed free time, so we hop a bus into town and catch dinner and before I know it, I’ve got to start heading back to Seoul. Saying goodbye to Ellen always sucks, but ever since my junior year of college, one of us has been driving off into our own sunsets, so we’re getting used to it. There’s a lot to reflect on during the journey home. Obviously, one does not find enlightenment over the weekend, and truthfully, I wasn’t much of a searcher. But I can’t stop thinking about the bows. I found the movement kept my mind steadier, and was far less soporific than pure meditation. I pull out the sheet of paper that details the specific meditative purpose for each one. Here are a few of the bows I found especially resonant:

I bow to wonder where I came from and where I am going.
I bow to know that unchangeable love is flowing through the universe.
I bow to call attention to the good in others, but not the bad.
I bow for the friends who have been beside me, sharing my laughter and tears.
I bow to realize that my life is the movement of my soul.
I bow to be thankful for the sight of beautiful wildflowers that are always present.
I bow to give thanks for the mountains and landscapes that speak to me through wind and snow.
I bow to hope for peace between human beings and nature.
I bow to be thankful for all the good and beautiful things in my life.

Reflecting on the bows, I realize once again that prescriptive religion doesn’t seem to be the ticket for me. I prefer the distant yips of a coyote over chanting; forget your heavily perfumed incense, and give me instead the wispy curls of wood smoke rimmed in a sunset halo. After a stay at Golgulsa, I won’t be taking off my skeptic’s cloak just yet—but, it never hurts to check.

permalink written by  alli_ockinga on September 25, 2009 from Inch'on, South Korea
from the travel blog: I go Korea!
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Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

Inch'on, South Korea


It's October 1st, and I am officially 2/3 finished with Korea! (self high-five) So, naturally, it's time to start thinking about the next move. It would be a shame to be on this side of the world and not do a little extra traveling, and something is pulling me Down Under. I've been pricing out tickets, looking at options, and I'm thinking I may be kiwi-bound come February, for a couple months. You're only young once...but as it's still four months out, it's too soon to be marking X's on calendars just yet.

In the spirit of looking towards the future, however, I've been thinking about things I really miss about the Western world, things that I haven't allowed myself to dwell on over here since they are so unattainable. In no particular order, here are some things I reallllllly miss:

-Berry Propel
-cheese
-my hammock
-trustworthy hairdressers (google Korean haircuts)
-the other 3/4 of my wardrobe
-driving, my VW, and in general, independent transport
-Kim and Ryan
-a Certain Someone who doubtlessly prefers anyonymity, but without whom this list would be woefully incomplete
-black licorice
-my family
-the smell of pine trees
-PBR
-English

Dear Mom, if there's any chance you were planning on sending me a 24th birthday package, I'd be grateful to the point of tears for any of the above items. And speaking of being grateful, it's Cheusok (Korean Thanksgiving) tomorrow, so Happy Cheusok, and remember, it's all in the little things!

permalink written by  alli_ockinga on October 1, 2009 from Inch'on, South Korea
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Okeydokey!

Inch'on, South Korea


"When you're finished," I was instructing my class of fourth-graders as they scribbled semi-coherent lines into their diaries, "bring your diary up front to me. " To illustrate the point, I mimicked shutting a spiral notebook and setting it down on the table that serves as my desk near the white board, patting the fictitious diary twice on its nonexistent cover for emphasis. As I've said, I am now a Black Belt in charades. Then I did the customary check for understanding that follows my every statement. "Got it?"

Tommy--one of my favorite students, whose name has morphed from Unicorn to Mike Wyzowski to finally his current, more tame monicker--looked up from his desk and grinned. "Okeydokey," he said, turning back to his work.

It was the greatest thing that happened to me all day. A little background: in my line of work, I can't exactly speak around my charges as I do my friends. Especially for an English teacher, diction becomes a responsibility, and God knows, if you accidentally screw up you'll hear about it for days, even weeks. (This was proven to me when the guidance counselor at my former school accidentally referred to the 12-year-old boy we were discussing as a "douchebag" in said child's presence. In such instances, the validity of the term is disregarded, and we both noticed a special note about language and professionalism at the next staff meeting.)

As such, I've developed a special Teacher Lexicon of approved phrases. After the Douchebag Incident, I was reminded to err on the side of caution, which I think overall is for the best, especially for a student teacher, for whom the entire process is essentially a painfully drawn-out semester-long interview. It wouldn't do for me to reprimand a whining student with "Listen, Karl, it's time for you to stop being a [insert 4-5 letter word of your choice] and get to work on that expository essay." No, no. Instead, I decided to bring back some old classics, words and phrases that are disappearing in America, that fulfill my purpose nicely. Example: "Enough of this namby-pamby nonsense, Karl." Now Karl's face twists, because he's trying to both look sullen and not laugh at the same time. He grumbles that I sound like his grandma, but picks up his pencil again. Victory.

Another favorite: "Miss OOOOOOOOO," the girls would wail when I informed them that yet another word was being added to the Graveyard--they would no longer be allowed use of 'awesome' in essays--"that's so MEAN, and it's like totally unFAIR! What are we going to say when something is really really really AWEsome?!" I pointed to the thesauri shelf. "UGH! There are no words! You're killing them ALL!"

"Oh, hush," I would say. "Quit being such a Negative Nancy."
"Oh my God, Miss O, that's so totally lame."
"So are the Jonas Brothers."
"Oh my God no they're not. They're awes--I mean, they're...stupendous."

Etc. Other stand-bys in the Teacher Lexicon include Holy Moley, Jeez Louise, Holy Smokes, That's Balogna, Whippersnappers, and Chilluns. I'm working on integrating Land Sakes!, but I can't quite do it without laughing yet. And of course, Okeydokey. I say that so much that I don't even know it's campy anymore. Anyway, the Korea kicker is this: these kids don't know how uncool my teacher speak is. Some of them don't even know how to write their name yet, and I am literally the only foreigner they know. Most of them are still at the blessed age where they don't question their teachers, and consequently, I am raising a small cluster of Korean children to speak like characters from an Archie comic strip. I am secretly hoping that they will spread these phrases among their friends and repopularize them, so that when this Asia trend inevitably spreads to America, old people words will be cool again. Tommy and his Okeydokey is evidence that my influence is spreading. Which is why tomorrow I'll be introducing, "Dadgummet!"

Such are the things that amuse me these days as I try and avoid the slump of oncoming winter. The two weeks til Tom comes can't fly fast enough...except he comes the same day as I take the GRE, so maybe time should actually slow itself down. Hmm. Thus is the time paradox of Korea. I want it to be done, but then I have to do something else...Gee Willikers, there just ain't no satisfying me.

permalink written by  alli_ockinga on October 11, 2009 from Inch'on, South Korea
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Good Week for Home

Seoul, South Korea


I had to go into Seoul this morning to pick up the results of a TB scan that I had to complete before getting a New Zealand visa. Apparently Korea is considered a "non-low risk country" for tuberculosis, so last week I had to go to a Kiwi-approved hospital and get x-rayed, and this week I picked up the results. All clear. Next week, I'll bring that to the embassy, but I have to wait until Thursdays for erranding due to my schedule. On the subway, I failed to notice a woman trying to catch my eye for awhile, involved as I was groovin' to some new tunes I recently acquired. (Jeremy Fisher. I like to listen to twang and harmonica while riding the metro--it makes me feel like I'm hoodwinking the city somehow, balancing out the concrete with steel guitars.) When finally I noticed the woman, I realized it was actually a pair of them, both sporting black nametags pronouncing them Sister Toronto and Sister Park. Usually when I encounter missionaries of any sort here, I sort of awkwardly make the sign of the cross to indicate that I've already heard the story. However, one of my friends back home recently left for the Netherlands on a mission, so I'm inordinately well-disposed towards missionaries at the moment. I pulled my earphones out and we began chatting, and it turns out that both women hailed from (unsurprisingly) Idaho and Utah. One of them even had spent some time in Stanley. We only had about three stops worth of time to chat, but it's always comforting to meet someone that knows the same places you know.

This happened to me last Thursday at the hospital itself, also. Severance Hospital is a gigantic building, the population of which exceeds that of many entire towns I've called home. Therefore, they assigned me a volunteer to chauffeur me around to the correct department. She was a young Korean-American woman studying abroad here, missing home and her boyfriend and Dr. Pepper something fierce. Turns out she's from California. I've found that the further I get from my stomping grounds, the wider the territory I'm willing to claim as "home" gets. In the scheme of the entire world, California seems downright neighborly. Anyway, the lonesome boyfriend goes to seminary school in Mill Creek, so we got to talking Washington, and she asked if I knew Sequim, and she even pronounced it right. I could have hugged her. Moments like that make me realize the world really isn't that big. It's a nice thought.

Other good things to happen this week: I got a package from my mom containing three bags of licorice-thankyouthankyouthankyou!--and started off the week with a buoying call back home to a dear, dear friend of mine. Although he was actually the last person I talked to before leaving the country last January--literally, the flight attendent made me hang up the phone with him so we could take off--it's the first time we've talked since April. He tends to disappear for months at a time into the wilderness on various expeditions--like, come January, he will be a "hutmeister" in charge of trekking into the Sawtooth Mountains to deliver supplies to several backcountry yurts--but has recently come back to civilization, so we got to have a really nice chat. Quite simply, he delights me, and he has always been good at reminding me how great life has the potential to be.

Also...NINE DAYS TIL TOM GETS HERE! Have I mentioned I'm excited about this?

Alas, it hasn't all been sunshine and roses. My worst decision of the week transpired last Saturday, after a very satisfying climb and bouldering session with my friends Michelle and Hannah. Hannah was lamenting the lack of true Korean experiences lately, as we've all sort of settled into a comfortable zone here that doesn't involve going out on too many limbs. So we decided to shake things up with a bit of heretofore untried street food. Hannah had heard things about this Korean sausage called soondae. It's kind of grayish and enclosed in a sketchy green-tinted sleeve, so it kind of looks like a dying snake. As my family can tell you, I am opposed to sausage on multiple levels, but I didn't want to look like a sissy so I screwed up my courage and ate a bite. It took all I had in me to force it down, chewy as it was, and although it was quite a foreign taste, there was something distantly familiar about it...

...the next day Hannah showed me a link. "Soondae," it said, "a kind of traditional Korean sausage, is not for everyone. It is made with clear noodles and pepper and cow's blood. For added "flavor," it is served with big chunks of pungent steamed liver." Ah, yes. Blood. That's the taste I remember. I really haven't the heart or stomach to write more about soondae, but if you're curious, the article goes on here. http://www.insam.com/_eng/news/newsitem2.asp?id=4&news_id=202&max_id=203

That's it for now. Nothing earth-shattering to report, but it's been a good week for home. Eleven classes left til the weekend!

permalink written by  alli_ockinga on October 14, 2009 from Seoul, South Korea
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It's that time again...

Inch'on, South Korea


Report card time, that is. We issue report cards every two months here. I used to really detest them, but I've pared the whole thing down to a science so that it's now a fairly efficient, if still onerous, task. In the public school system back home, there's an option on progress reports to add a comment, and you can simply select "It is a pleasure to have your child in class" or "Your child frequently interrupts during instruction" and the like. It sounds a little unfeeling, but when a teacher has 160 students, it's a justifiable shortcut. While I have to actually handwrite my report cards, I have taken the same approach with these, and generally follow this template:

"XXXXXXX has a positive/negative attitude and participates willingly/infrequently in class. I'd like to see him/her practice reading/handwriting/vocabulary and try not to rely on the dictionary/be so talkative/throw so many spitballs in the future."

Copy, paste. Mentally, at least. As it is, I have about 85 to do all together. I'm a lot better at it now then when I started four terms ago, mostly because I've released the idea that what I write matters, because at a hagwon, it really doesn't. One of the more spirit-killing things about this job is that here, it's all about the Benjamins (or the mahn wons), with education a distant secondary concern. Additionally, that famous Asian indirectness comes into play when dealing with parents. You just can't tell too much truth. For instance, there's this one kid who has been plaguing my classroom for the last nine months ceaselessly. He clearly should have been kicked out of the academy long ago because the child makes it impossible for any sort of knowledge transaction to take place. But there's no discipline program at my school (!) and because his parents are rich, the kid is allowed run of the place, even though he is only 12. What to write on his report card?

"Your child is the bane of my existence. His behavior is so atrocious that I honestly have no idea as to the level of his English skills, because I've never had the opportunity to accurately assess them. He should stop kicking other students in class, I'd like to see him stop greeting all his classmates with "F*** you" each day. Additionally, he hasn't turned in any homework since April."

Alas, that won't do. The edited, Director-approved version turned out like so:
"Yun is an energetic boy, but he could channel it in a more positive way. He should practice reading every day to keep up with the class, and remember to keep his hands to himself."

So that's a battle. I do try and celebrate successes ("James has finally stopped shoving teacher's marker down his pants!") and to be fair, 85 per cent of the children aren't monsters, and most are even likable. Regardless, the whole process is undermined in the fact that three-quarters of the parents don't speak any English, so I could be writing in Spanish, or even teaching it in my classrooms, and no one would be much the wiser. It's not a complaint against them, just another indication that the system here is flawed. However, I take great joy in the knowledge that I only have one more set of report cards to do until I'm finished here, and I try and take this exercise as a reminder to never, ever give out pointless assignments.

Not related, the KIA Tigers just won the Korea Series with a walk-off homerun in Game Seven, and Tom is exceptionally pleased to see that we get the World Series on cable here. Go Phillies!

permalink written by  alli_ockinga on October 27, 2009 from Inch'on, South Korea
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booooooo swine flu

Inch'on, South Korea


Well, it got me. Swine flu, H1N1, or whatever we're officially calling it these days. Let me tell you how not excited I am about this. Not that I'm looking for sympathy--the whole world has it, and besides, I absolutely refuse to die from Swine flu--but it's not awesome, that's for sure.

I just got back from a round of high-stakes Pharmaceutical Charades; high-stakes because if I communicate well enough, I get medicine, and if I do a superb job, it will be the right kind of medicine. Not that I'd know, because it's all in Korean...but I think it went okay. I walked in and tried to say hello to the kindly pharmacist. 'Ahnyung-haseo' is what I was going for, but it came out some toad-like alien tongue unfamiliar to us both. Enter the charades. I mimicked speaking with my hand, like it was a puppet, then pointed to my throat, and crossed my arms in an X, thus cementing the notion that I have been stuck dumb. For fever, we compromised on "head fire." I'll spare the successive grisly details, but eventually I was handed two packages of pills, so we'll see what happens there. 'Kansahamnida,' I tried to say. Thank you. I got as far as "Kaaa" before failing again.

After the pharmacy, I went to meet Master to tell him that I wouldn't make hapkido today. After initially mocking my frailty, he looked closer and announced that we were going to the hospital. We picked up his six-year-old son, who was also sick, on the way, and Master translated for me once there--Karmic payback for all those English lessons I've taught him, I suppose. I'm lucky to have him watching out for me here.

So, in the end, I'm another confirmed case. I have to miss a week of work, which is particularly vexing because I was supposed to start five new classes this week, and now I'm not going to be able to train them properly. I also haven't yet determined if I get sick leave for this, or if I just lost a week's pay. Let's hope the former, because I just bought my New Zealand plane ticket, and it's not going to pay for itself. On the plus side, the medicine only cost me about eleven dollars, because in an interesting twist, health insurance is awesome. I also get to wear one of those surgical face masks that they like to wear over here when they're sick, so at least there's a silver lining.

permalink written by  alli_ockinga on November 1, 2009 from Inch'on, South Korea
from the travel blog: I go Korea!
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Happy halloween!

Inch'on, South Korea


Happy Halloween! A couple days late, I know. Last Friday, my hagwon held a party to introduce the kids to that sweetest of Western customs, Halloween. Thanks, Mexico! They were pretty thrilled with the concept, naturally. ("Alli Teacher...Halloween is...superhero pants and 'give me the candy?' "Yes." 'Really?') We played zombie tag and mira (mummy) games, and about half the kids dressed up. Sometimes my job is unbelievably cute.

These are two of my favorite little cretins, above.
We also did face painting. I'm pretty proud of my work on Undertaker:


And, being the good sport I am, I let one of my six-year-olds turn me into Alli-Cat-Teacher.

It was a fairly hectic day, as you can imagine, but the kids had a good time. Throughout it all, my boss kept running around the school in his shiny suit wearing a flu mask with two holes punched in it over his eyes, yelling at the top of his lungs, "I AM ANGRY MAN!" I fear he may have missed the point of Halloween just a little. We also had a little hiccup when one of the littlest boys, who is only four, didn't get the memo that masks aren't real. When one of the teachers entered our room wearing a Frankenstein mask, he was so scared that he promptly attached himself to my left leg and wouldn't be parted with it for anything in the world until I got us some jack-o-lantern coloring sheets and showed him that he wouldn't be able to color unless his hands were free. Also, I made it clear that there was a lollipop in it for him if I could see a smile (with teeth). He then produced several rainbow pumpkins and was able to go back to the party, plastic scythe clutched defensively in front of us both.

Tom has been enjoying his time here for the most part, although this quarantine of mine has put a little damper on our adventures. I know it's not my fault, but I still feel kind of bad. Thanks for flying all the way around the world...but I'm going to go throw up now. Anyway, he's off wandering the neighborhood right now. Having him around has been a little surreal since I'm so used to just being in my own head after all this time alone with no one understanding me. He's still pretty overwhelmed by all the colors and lights and constant K-pop flowing from unseen speakers. Korea is definitely a sensorial experience, but I suppose I've gotten used to it after--wait for it--NINE months here. That's right, I'm 3/4 finished now; I can see the light, and it's called New Zealand! I got my visa straightened out, bought my plane tickets this week, and on Feb. 1, I'll be kiwi-bound! Can't wait to get moving again.

permalink written by  alli_ockinga on November 3, 2009 from Inch'on, South Korea
from the travel blog: I go Korea!
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Pepero Day!

Inch'on, South Korea


I've eaten some shady stuff here in Korea--silkworm larvae soup and chicken feet spring immediately to mind, followed closely by squid jerky and rice juice--but on at least one occasion, the Koreans really got it right. I speak of Pepero, my favorite indulgence here. It's a long, slim biscuit, covered in a thin layer of chocolate along the lines of biscotti, available at any convenience store, 12 sticks for thousand won. (Today, that's 83 cents.) Pepero is delicious; in fact, for my first six weeks, it was my favorite thing about Korea. I have since developed other interests, but I was thrilled to get to school today and learn that it is officially Pepero Day.

In the words of Lisa, a fifth-grader, "Pepero day is love to person people snack give. I give the 15...this pepero is delicious. I like Pepero. All people is love the Pepero. Pepero is the happy Korea snake."

Change that last snake to snack, and we're golden. They were surprised to learn that we don't have Pepero Day in the states, and I had their sympathy for all of five seconds before one of them pointed out, "But teacher...you have the Halloween Day." Right. So all the kids give Pepero to the people they love today. I was pleased to be showered in chocolate biscuits with packaging that states in swirly romantic script, "Happy Pepero Day. I'll be loving you forever deep inside my heart." Why November 11? In an admirable marketing ploy, the folks at Pepero convinced that nation that a Pepero stick looks like the number one. So what are four Pepero sticks lined up? 1111, of course...11/11. The kids were absolutely wired today. I can't even conceive the Pepero pandemonium which will undoubtedly ensue two years from now on 11/11/11.

Another good thing to happen today was me getting to take over a class from Harry. Harry is my favorite co-teacher, a fancy little Korean man who carries a far nicer purse than me, but is kind to me in spite of that. My schedule of classes was rearranged THREE times this week, but I ended up with tt5A, which is the highest class we offer at my school. It's just one boy, Min, age 14, and he speaks excellent English. Far better than my director, unquestionably. In our book, we were discussing the word obsessed--a risky proposition with a 14-year-old, but we managed to steer clear of discomfort when he used the example, "I am obsessed with sports. Like baseball and football."
"Oh yeah? You mean soccer, or real football?"
"Real football, like American football."
"Yeah? Who's your team?"
"Seahawks."
Three seconds of silence, then I asked "...Really?"
Yes. Turns out he spent a year in Tacoma when he was 10, and he can't wait to finish school and move back to Seattle. Ha...me too, kid. Really though, it was a treat to be able to speak in exact language today, without approximating. I forgot how much easier it is to teach when I don't have to mime everything. It definitely made me excited to get back to those smart-mouth American teenagers that I love.

Finally, I'm pleased to announce that in my continual progression towards assimilation, I now know enough Korean to read the graffiti on the bathroom stall at my school. It's a little unseemly for this outlet, but let's just say that some sentiments are universal. Huh.

permalink written by  alli_ockinga on November 11, 2009 from Inch'on, South Korea
from the travel blog: I go Korea!
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Hey everyone! In February 2009 I left the Pac Northwest for South Korea to teach English for a year. This is what I'm up to! Keep in touch!

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