I feel that I should speak in...

I feel that I should speak in defence of myself in response to the implication that I have a leaden right foot. I drive with decorum at all times paying due regard to the conditions. It is hardly my fault if your mother is of a nervous disposition, although I have had to speak severely to her about the scratch marks on the dashboard and the strange blue colour of the air she emits during some of our journeys. Anyway she can hardly speak as when she gets behind the wheel she drives like a bat out of hades - it's a prime example of the pot calling the kettle black! Suffice to say that unlike some travellers - I don't have any points on my licence for speeding!

Heading South?