Remember When

Right now we have an American intern in our office, which, if you remember, was how I first came to Northern Ireland and got involved in Public Achievement. I mentioned in an earlier post how meeting him reminded me of how naive I used to be, how morbidly fascinated by the murals, the sectarian slurs, the legacy of violence. It was then that I first felt like I was beginning to belong here, because I no longer had that constant feeling of being on the outside looking in.

But there are times that I find his naivete quite frustrating, and I want to shake him and tell him to open his eyes. I think this is often what happens when one comes on a program bent on 'neutrality,' which I now believe is incredibly artificial. I've felt this way before. Little comments like "My friends ask me, 'so, how is Ireland?' and I think, 'well I'm not really in Ireland..." or right after the attacks, "Oh, my program director cried talking about how horrible it is, everyone back home is freaking out..." He still lowers his voice and practically whispers words like "Shankill" and "Ian Paisley" and "IRA." As if he's breaking wind in church. Or if by saying one of those words more often or louder than the others, he might somehow betray some inner hidden feeling or opinion that he has been bound not to feel. Like somehow, if you're not staunchly neutral, you couldn't possibly engage with intellectual facts in the 'right' way.

I think the only reason I can make the observations and judgements and feel justified in doing so is because I was there once as well. I whispered words. I chatted up people in pubs about 'the Troubles.' I was wary of coming out too on one side or the other. I avoided areas and people that were too easily recognizable as on one side of the divide; people with whom associating might mean that I actually had a thought, an opinion, or was capable of my own intellectual judgement (which, by the way, I am).

I worry that this whitewashing not only of people's feelings but also of pure fact is putting a muzzle on intelligent and necessary political discussion. Politics should always be under the microscope. Always. The moment we stop talking, discussing, and debating these things, no matter how accepted they may be, is the moment we as democratic human beings sign our own death warrant.

written by  ebienelson on April 9, 2009 from Belfast, United Kingdom
from the travel blog: "She is the Belle of Belfast City..."
Send a Compliment

comment on this...