Top Gear Adventure- Thailand Edition, 'Driving Miss Pahka'

It started the day before when I heard my landlord in Kalasin was going to Bangkok to the Family Home- I wanted to get to Bangkok on Friday on the bus, but if I could get a ride with her in her Mercedes I felt that would be quicker and more comfortable.

I went downstairs to see if I could wrangle a ride. " No ", she said, " I not drive, I take the bus. I do not drive outside of town."
So I offered to chauffeur her to Bangkok in her car. " It will be fun, Pahka, I will pay for gas and drive us and it will be much more comfortable than the bus! " I convinced her and she agreed as long as she could get her son to drive her back on Sunday, he agreed so it was settled, I would have a new Top Gear Challenge, Thailand Edition- ' Driving Miss Pahka'.

7:30 AM and we hit the road to the temple taking flowers and water for the monks. I always enjoy the atmosphere of community at Temple when the offerings are given. The women all lined up and bowed as they presented their rice to the monks putting a small amount into the bowl. The monks chanted prayers and it is such a beautiful energy of peace.

After the blessings we went back to the car and a young man got into the backseat to ride with us. I don't know his name, he was never introduced to me, but now I had another soul to keep safe as I piloted the Merc 400 kilometers to Bangkok.

It was raining a deluge as we pulled out of the Temple and back on the highway with me at the wheel. This is my first time driving.a Mercedes and I was surprised that it only had one large windshield wiper. It was not keeping up with the rain and visibility was bad. I took it slow, under 60 kph at first as I got used to the handling and braking. It was an automatic and had no pickup in 2nd gear at all! I was surprised, but later I realized it had some kind of fuel saver governor on it that restricted the power output...so not going to dodge trouble, best to avoid. We would pass two bad accidents today, one with a truck that dumped nitrogen tanks all over the highway and another multiple car accident probably due to the wet conditions. The only problem I had was on my second parking I pulled too close to a high curb and broke some plastic off the bumper under the front license plate. Pahka made wounded noises and was concerned which was fine, but this part of the bumper had seen a lot of earlier damage including a 24 inch section on the left side where it had been completely chipped off and two large sections by each of the front quarter panels with visible damage! My thought was " oh well, stuff Happens", but she was talking about me paying 30% for an entire new bumper! Keep in mind that this is purely cosmetic damage and the bumper was untouched!
There was a palpable tension in the car the rest of the trip because of this which was sad. We ended up agreeing.on 2,000 Baht, but I still feel that it should have been chalked up to just bad luck since I was paying.for this whole trip.

My bad luck was not over yet as I gradually began to feel quite queasy and sick to my stomach. I just made it to a rest stop and as soon as I got out of the car I threw up my KFC lunch all over my shirt and pants. This forced me to change and clean up in a toilet with only a water dipper. Fortunately I had my nylon shorts and shirt that I sleep in with me in my daypack to put on and I did the best I could, but it was very unpleasant to say the least and embarrassing as well.

As I drove again Pahka sniffed on some lip balm because I guess I still smelled bad! Yuck!!!

It was almost 8 hours when we got to the suburb her house is in and she dropped me near a bus station where I got a cab for a 45 minute ride in evening traffic to the,area my guesthouse was supposed to be in. I wandered for half an hour up and down and just couldn't find it and to make matters just a little worse my left flipflop picked this time to break so I was kind of walking on it and dragging it at the same time. I am sure I looked pathetic. I found a place with a room and booked in for one night. When I got in my room I washed my clothes in the sink with shampoo and hung them to dry. After a shower I changed into clean clothes and went out to explore the night and listen to music and people watch my Top Gear adventure complete!

written by  Mike_Veine on September 23, 2013 from Bangkok, Thailand
from the travel blog: Laos, Thailand and Beyond!
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