public bathrooms in the midst of the festival

Presently, the parade lasts 9 days. Befote I left for my trip I had no idea I would be in Medellín, during the time of the second largest festival in all of Colombia. On Friday, I headed out to the festival with my fellow comrades. This day happen to be the largest day of the festival. There was a giant parade to be planned in the afternoon. Affter slamming some chicken, arrepas, and potatoes, we were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready for the festivities to pick off. Oh yeah, today also happened to be Colombias Independence Day. So, in addition to all of the crowds of people that were going to the festival, most of the people in Medellín didnt have work or school. We got off the bus, where the main part of the parade was to take place. Boy, were there herds of people. I happened to be a bit taller than the average Colombian. Therefore, I was able to scout the premises in every location of the parade. I had a birds eye view of the whole damn thing, and the crowds of excited Colombians didnt seem to have an effect on my enjoyment of the parade. We had about 8 people in our group. We found some shade and posted up, waiting for the parade to go by. I thought it over a moment and predicted that this parade would last about 20 minutes.. there would be flotas and maybe some music and that would be that. I was quite wrong. There were people lined on both sides of the streets…thousands….The sound of music began to get closer. People began to chant louder and louder. All of a suden an explosion of Colombian culture came marching down the street. There were old, indigineous men with hand-made wooden crates on their back. These giagantic crates were filled with flowers. It was like they were carrying a small garden on their backs! These giant gardnes must have weighed about 50-80 pounds. SOme of the men must have been at least 75 years old. They were al decaed out in tradicional COlombian apperal. Cowboy looking boots, a weathered cowboy looking hat and a sash thrown over their shoulders. They were struggling along like snails, but they their consistent pace never seemed to come to a halt. Then their were old women warrying gardnes on their back. Hunched over like turtles, the women struggled along, as crowds of people threw flowers into the air and fans ran out from the side-lines to help the old women that were struggling with these giant wooden cates full of flowers. Then there were music parades, with a jazz band first. Then there were herís of beutiful women comino by dressed in bright, sparkly outfits dancing to tradicional salsa music. There were old Colombian cars being driven by, but only on the back 2 wheels. The front 2 wheels happened to be lifted about 5 feet off of the ground so the car was being driven at about a 25 degree angle.. Quite interesting..I guess it was the Colombian system of hydrolics I was whitnessing. Then there were little kids dressed in tradicional COlombian dress. The young girls stuck out the most, wearing cut little red bandannas, a large white dress with flowers stitched down the sides. Then there was a parade of diablos, or devils. Herds of people were dressed in devil-masks, with pointing horns, and a KISS-style tounge coming about 4 inches out of the mask. For the next 3 hours, there was a non-stop parade.

The flower gardens held every color of the rainbow, every shape of plant, and enough nutrients, that they seemed burn your eyes when you looked at them it was like a moment when the sun hits a mirror or a pane of glass and it blinds your eyes…quite the same effect.

The old men and women werent getting paid for their ultra-marathon walk through the streets. Through squinted eyes, the old men and women trecked along, carrying tradition on their backs for all of the young to see. One day it would be the next generations turn. It was like they were carrying an olympic tourch for the next crowd, or the next generation of people to embrace.

First of all COlombians dont relieve in drinking water. I swear, their bodies are built like camels. Every COLombian I happen to be with never drank any water. I would always sem. To get really thirsty during the day, especially during the parade. As I looked around though none of the people were drinking water. When I hapen to order a water from a local vendor an offer it to one of my friends they would always refuse. So, I was the only one drinking water at all times. This meant that I was the only one who needed to go to the bathroom. Since Colombians never drink water, they never need to go to the bathroom. Therefore, there was nly one damn bathroom for the entire parade.

The bathroom story:
2 hours had gone by. I had had to use the bathroom for the past tour, but I didnt want to first of all loose the boys and second of all I didnt want to ditch out to find a bathroom during one of the most important events of the year. 15 more minutes go by and now there are pinds stabbing by bladder. I dont have to sort of go. I need to go right no won this tree or I am going to explode. Thats it I ve had it…I turn to Santiago and say hey man I really got to g oto the bathroom. The whole group of people I am with eras me. They all turn and look at me like I”m an infant crying because I need my pasafier or I need to take a nap because I am cranky. Gosh, I think, to the average COlobian using the bathroom was something you did onec a day, that was it. Santiago seemed a bit irritaed. He didnt want to leave the parade, but he agreed to take me to the bathroom. We got to the bathroom alter a good 25 minute walk. The bathroom was a small gray builing, in the middle of this old, closed parking lot. We got there and got in line venid about 65 people. This bathroom was coed and there were about 4 stalls in this bad boy. That was it. Now, its about 5 oclock. About 50 minutes go by and Santiago and I are towards the front of the line. This bathroom was reeeeeking when we got to the front. We were about 5 people back and I could see into this bathroom now. In the center was like an corporate office style desk with a man sitting venid it. We made small talk with him and he claimed to be the owner of the bathroom. Yet, on the outside of the bathroom it said banos publicos, or public bathrooms. What kina of man wons a damn bathroom I think. I look back and see about 65 more people venid us in line. Santiago makes it in the the bathroom. It is a small building about 15 feet by 20 feet, with 4 stalls. There were two doors to get it in. They looked like 2 garage doors. There was one to enter and one to exit.There were no Windows of any kind. So, if anyone closed the sliding garage-like doors they place would be closed. Just as I am looking at these garage-like doors, the owner gets up from his desk in a hurry an trys to close these doors. He didnt sem. To care that people had been waiting in line for a good tour to use his bathroom, which did i mention, you had to pay him to use it. All of a suden it was like a riot went off. About 40 people venid me rush from venid me like a giant herd of elephants. The owner continues to try to close the door. People push over the owner and evrone trys to crowd into this small building. I mean hey, they didnt want to go poopey on the sidewalk. They were human beings and they needed to use the bathroom. Then it gets aggressive. The owner gets pushed over…people begain to thrown their fists in the air, cursing at this guy. I am the only gringo in here. Shit, I think its over, I am about to be part of a Colombian bathroom riot…its over, the police are comino and im getting jumped. The owner gets trampled by the people. I am uncontrollably pushed into the bathroom. Santiago escapes. One of the doors of the bathroom is violently closed on one side. Then I hear the snap of a lock. I panic. More people push againts me. I cant breath. 50 people are in theis 15 feet by 20 feets room, along with the accumulation of human feces from the day. The owner gets up, old ladies begin cursing at him. Old men make attempts to give the bastard a right hook to the FACE. All of a suden I hear a clic of a lock. One of the doors is locked. Me and 3 guys try to open it..its locked from the outside. Great, now I am guilty by association…get me the heck out of here..im going t odie in here i know it……All of a suden I see 10 police officers through the other door. They rush the door. The owner escapes and all of a suden the other door closes. I hear the snap of a lock. Ooooooooooooooo my gooooooood!!! I am locked in here with 50 violent Colombians. What the heck is this crap??!!! We all start screaming and yelling, pounding on the doors. 10 people on each side make an attempt to open the doors. The cops locked them from the outside though. I panic again. Its been 15 minutes in here. There is seriously enough oxygen in here to las tus maybe another 40 minutes tops. The cops had locked us in here like a bunch of cages animals. Nobody was listening to out cries. Nobody responded to our blood-curdling screams. AN old lady began to cry next to me. 5 more minutes go by. There are so many people in this room I could barely turn my head. 10 more minutes go by and all of a suden somehow someone had busted open one of the doors. I see Light. People begin trampling each other to get out. At this moment I dodnt care what happens. I will trample anything and everything to get out of here. I jump over people..crawl to the floor and like a running back running through defensive line-men I make a break for it. I make it under the 3 foot opening. On the outside their are police officers and Santiago…violently shouting at one to tell them his American friend was locked in there and you guys better open that damn door…or esle!!!!! I see Santiago..i am seriously happy to be alive and we run out of there like a bat out of hell. If I ever saw that bathroom owner again..I wasnt going to go in his stall..I would go right on his FACE…I thought it over and realizad this a-hole was to cause of all the problems. He wanted to close a public bathroom when about 100 people were standing in line to use it. He didnt politely ask peeople to move when he began closing the doors…he just did it and didnt care if one of the doors happen to close on some small child or old lady….comedy……

written by  kipmaddog on August 9, 2009 from Medellin, Colombia
from the travel blog: adventures from down south
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