The worst club in the entire world, they were all quacking mad!

We said goodbye to Ann and Bryan and promised to be back soon and that we’d be safe and then made our way to Wells for a quick stop to show Luke where the film “Hot Fuzz” was filmed and we then made our way on towards Newquay.

We soon discovered the reason as to why there was no accommodation in all of Newquay, there were major surf title competitions on the go, and also, a big weekend concert. Newquay was packed with tourists and locals alike!

On the off chance and on a whim we pulled into a caravan park and asked if they had a caravan that we might be able to hire for a night, and to our relief, they did. It was a cozy two bedroom caravan with a lounge room, kitchen and bathroom. It was more than adequate for our one night stay!

We head into Newquay Centre and found a spot at a bar that over looked the water where we could watch the goings on at the beach and take in the views. The surf competition itself was around the corner, but it was so packed and busy you couldn’t get there without a fight, and to be honest, we were all quite tired now! We had a meal, watched some of the Ashes and “booed” when all the other people in the bar would cheer (Aussies weren’t doing so well during this test) and then moved on for a look through the town picking up a few groceries for tonight and breakfast tomorrow.

The caravan park we were staying at was more like a mini city, and I say that with complete honesty. There were, I kid you not, 1000 caravans and tents there and on site there was a water park, a bowling alley, a pizzeria, a grocery store (over priced of course) a restaurant bar and a ‘club’. As it was still a little early when we got back we thought we’d go and check out the club, looking forward to meeting some other travelers, having a beer and some music, and generally, just relaxing. We walked in, and to our amusement and horror the club was infact a bingo hall. There were at least 500 people sitting about at tables all playing the game with the tackiest music and lighting going on in the background. It was truly truly awful. But it got worse. As the numbers were called the announcer would call out something really tacky, but number 22 was the worst, the announcer called out “Two little ducks swimming side by side, number 22” and the whole room erupted into “QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!” the announcer smiled and said “Thank you quackers” and this happened twice while we were there. Getting the rooms attention was painful too. The announcer would go “SH SH SH- SH SH…” and the room would finish it off with “SH SH” oooohhhhh, it was bad. We thought that the best way to deal with this was to drink a few drinks QUICKLY and then get out, so we ordered drinks that were on special and being promoted only to be told “oh, we don’t stock that” yet, there were big banners saying “special give aways with this drink, this week” etc, and then, as we stood at the bar giggling, an incredibly large, incredibly drunk young man, who was bright red from sunburn and who, I hate to say it despite it being the truth, had no fashion sense, came up to us and went “WWWWOOOOOOO” in our faces, pumping his arms in the air victoriously, to which we took the micky and copied him, he stalled for a moment as if contemplating us, but then moved on to the front of the room where he danced (badly) souly. He gave it a go though and was very enthusiastic in his terrible moves.

We could only stand one drink and then had to get the hell out of there, it was killing us. We made it back to the safety of our little cabin where we barracked ourselves in with a bottle of wine and some beer and chips and enjoyed the rest of the evening chatting and watching bad TV.

written by  Chris and Emily on August 7, 2009 from Newquay, United Kingdom
from the travel blog: Europe 2009
Send a Compliment

comment on this...