Alas before I knew it he was counting out the chillies with a huge smile on his face - he may not have been getting any money but he would have plenty of laughter and a story to tell for days to come. And so, with a small crowd of fellow spice merchants gathered around, I was handed the chillies and suddenly realised there was no option but to do this. Thoughts of an episode of the Simpsons came to mind where Homer drinks candle wax before eating chillies to line his stomach - sadly that was not an option for me.
And so in the chillies went, and I slowly began to chew them. At first I felt nothing, no heat, no pain, just the chillies crunching. A good tip for anyone stupid enough to repeat my act, do not gloat by sticking your tongue out with the chewed up chillies on claiming they are not hot. No sooner had I done this than the heat kicked in, not gradually but instantly. My mouth went from cold to raging hot in a split second leaving me with only one option - swallow and get water fast.
Down they went, out came my tongue to prove as much, and in went the water as Alena happily collected the prize on my behalf. The water did little but to increase the intensity of the heat and it was all I could do to keep moving to try and take my mind off the pain - all the while Alena and the spice merchants were finding the whole episode quite entertaining. Next came the tears, which I had no control over, and at this stage two litres of water had gone down my throat.
My saving grace was bananas, which slowly but surely reduced the heat, allowing me to return my mouth to normal with another bottle of water. Aside from a bag of saffron and major pain in my mouth, not to mention stomach on the following day, my act had earned me the title of 'Keycha Mzungu', which literally translates as 'Crazy White Man'. And so my love for spicy food has faded somewhat of late, and the mere thought of eating those chillies is enough to turn my stomach.
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