Joseph411

July 2006
Well, here I am, approximately 36000 feet in the air somewhere over the Bering Sea. I’m enroute to China. Yes, that’s what I said….China. Let me backup a bit. Last night, or was it the night before, I called Mears for a Taxi for 6 AM to take me to the airport. 5 AM the alarm goes off and I’m up. That was a small feat in itself, as I was still packing at midnight. I’m up, getting ready to go. That’s “go”, as in “leave”. Am I crazy? I must be. I quit my job, rented out my house, sold some of my precious things I swore I never would. Then I gave away more things that did not sell, then finally I threw away things. I threw away LOTS of things. I’m a pretty big guy, but I was not always this size, I got here in stages I guess. Well, to compensate, I bought clothes in stages also. The problem was that I never got rid of the last stage that I just outgrew. They just occupied different areas of my big walk-in closet.
It was time to empty the closet for the new renter. Not to be wasteful I called a popular charity to come get all my treasures I was willing to part with. They said “no thank you unless you bring them to us”. Strange I thought….a charity that did not want 300 pounds of assorted men’s clothes. I called another. Same answer. Another and another, 7 in all. They all said “no” for one reason or another. Bag by bag, I filled them and took them out to the street for trash. Sorry I digress.
It’s now 5:45 AM. Maybe the taxi will be early. Maybe I should move my bags and wait outside incase it’s a few minutes early. I grab the handle on one of my bags and extend it. What was that noise? A moaning sound. It was the zipper on my bag. I packed them so much, they were rounded instead of flat. Here I go, tip it over, walk it out. Back for another. Now the camera bag and laptop bag. These too were just as loaded down. 5:52 AM, the taxi should be here any minute. It’s already hot out. 6 AM, no taxi. I call them and I’m told “no exact times are given, we just do best we can”. Try telling that to the airline I’m trying to catch. 6:15, still not here. I call again and I’m told 10 minutes for sure. 6:25, STILL not here. Now I’m getting real worried. I paid $1000 for a plane ticket that I will miss the plane. 6:30 he shows up, I tell him I’m in a hurry. He says “sorry, I can’t speed, it’s illegal”. I tell him a $20 tip if we get to airport in 20 minutes. I barely got the words out and hang on, the rocket was launched. I never saw a taxi go this fast. He was not worried about the law for a $20 tip for sure. 19.5 minutes later we come to a screeching halt, sliding in sideways at the United check in.
OK, I’m at the airport and still may make the flight time. Now where are those guys that help you load and carry your bags? Skycaps, right? Not a Skycap in sight. Very few people around, it looks slow today, so where are those Skycaps? OKOKOK…no Skycaps. I’ll pay for one of those metal wheeled carts you load and push yourself.. 30 meters to the cart rack. Run to them and watch my bags for thieves waiting to take the last possessions I own on the planet. Run, look…run, look..oh my god, the rack is empty. Now what? I’ve got to put a way over loaded very big camera bag on one shoulder, put a way overloaded laptop bag on the other shoulder, then push my big bag steering in front of me while pulling the other wheeled bag behind me. The camera bag falls off my left shoulder every 5 steps, and the laptop bag falls off my right shoulder every 3 steps. I swear I must look like a homeless person with his shopping cart lost at the airport, because some guy put a dollar in my shirt pocket as he walked by. Now I have 2 equally important objectives in mind, 1 is to make that plane and 2 is to avoid having a heart attack while doing objective number 1. I make it on the plane, whew. Breathe deep, relax. The crew is pretty nice. Laughing, joking. The plane takes off, makes a sharp left at 408, and heads west. Next stop San Francisco. Whew, I’m exhausted already. I have to lose some weight.
Here comes San Francisco. My best friend Vince is there waiting to meet me for a quick lunch after driving down from his home in Napa. I exit the plane and call him. He’s waiting just outside the security area for me. I’m walking. Dam these bags are heavy. Do I really need all of them? My gate is as physically far from other areas of the airport as it can be. I walk a bit, and then get on one of those moving walk-ways. Whew, relief. That takes me 1/4r of the way I need to go. I’m walking again and thinking I’m pretty sure I could lose one of the bags and keep three. Boy, I have to lose weight soon. I see another of the walk ways ahead. I get on the walk way and relax again. Three minutes later I realize that people are staring at me because the walk way in broke, it’s not moving at all. (sigh) Here we go again. I see Vince up ahead smiling. I’m so hot and soaked in sweat. I get to Vince and he looks at me as if to say, I didn’t know it was raining inside the airport”? I hand him that camera bag and we are off to find some place for lunch. By the time we get to a restaurant, Vince is dragging that bag.
Time to go back through security. Heading for Beijing this time, that is if I ever get through security. Empty my pockets into x-ray bucket, “BEEP”, I failed the metal detector. Off with the shoes, try again….”BEEP”. Now what? He said my elbow touched the side of the machine, and walk straight through, but don’t touch the sides. This is a small size detector and I’m a large size guy. Straight through and don’t touch sides is impossible. I stand at attention facing the guy with that big TSA on his shirt, I make ¼ turn to my left, and walk through semi sideways like s crab walk. “BEEP”. Now he steers me to a special area reserved for possible terrorists. This big guy approaches me with this flat looking thing in his hand. I’m not sure if it’s a new style metal detector or if I’m about to get a cavity search right here and now. He tells me to stand and raise my arms out to the side. The first thing that pops into my mind is that scene from Monk where he leans sideways as the guy uses that thing on him. Sorry, but I just had to try the same thing. People around me all laugh, but this big TSA guy does not. He finally realizes that it must be those steel plates and screws in my arms and legs that tripped that metal detector and lets me go through. I get to the gate where we will board. Boarding starts almost immediately as I get there. I’m supposed to be in seat 57G. 57?? I thought it stopped at 50? Guess I’m 2 rows after the tail section. I’m walking and looking, did I say walking and looking? I still am. I was not aware that there were more then 3 classes of seating on some planes. I knew of 1st class, business class and economy. I was painfully unaware of “sub” economy. I guess if you book through Orbitz you will see what I mean. I’m getting my first look at “something looks out of place here” feeling. I was the only non-Asian other then some of the flight attendants. I “shoe horn” myself into the seat and get ready for a fifteen hour flight to Beijing. Did I say 15? Do you realize what 15 hours in a sub-economy, Orbitz special, seat IS??? It took five hours to fly from Orlando to San Francisco. Along comes a wonderful flight attendant that take pity on me. She finds a small section half way towards front of plane that has three seats and no one in them. These are the only empty seats on the plane. She tells me to follow her, and I do. She shows me the seats and tells me, if I like them over my other seat, stake them out NOW. I grab my laptop case and my inflatable neck pillow I just bought in San Francisco and I dive into those seats. Whew… some room. I hear the engines start. The attendants do their “if we make a water landing” speech. Water landing my butt. If the plane comes down at sea, that’s a CRASH. She states that we should all help one another off the plane. I tell the people in front of me, that the best help I could offer in those circumstances, is that if we make a “water landing”, keep an eye on these blue jean shorts I’m wearing. If they see them run past them at Jesse Owens speed, follow me. They spoke no English, so they looked at me very strange. The flight attendant heard me and laughed. OK, engine is running. Pilot talks something I cannot understand, and we are rolling. Faster, faster, faster we go. We are up. I tell myself to breathe. Oh yea, I forgot. Ok, we are up. Time to relax a little. Find the button and recline the seat so I can use my brand new, Brookstone, top of the line, inflatable head / neck pillow. Blow it up, put it on, recline the seat. Recline the seat. I know I already said that, but the seat did not recline. It seems that these seats backed up against the flight attendant’s seats behind me that were rock solid. My seat did not recline. Another little glitch in my adventure. I’m wearing that over priced neck pillow and I can’t recline. That thing has my head pushed as far forward as it can go. My chin is hitting my chest. This is not the most comfortable position to spend the next 15 minutes in, never mind the next 15 HOURS. I’m trying to stay calm, but if I could open a window, I’d throw that inflatable neck thing out at 35,000 feet.
I have to give the flight attendants credit. They try their best to make the time go by easily. Here comes the first movie. Ten minutes of pre-movie advertisements, then uh-oh, the film stopped. They restart it but don’t fast forward through the ads we saw, so we see them again. The movie starts. Looks bad, but wait a few minutes and I’m sure it will change. Ten minutes later, it does just that…. It get’s worse. Ignore the movie, here comes the food. “Chicken or beef” she asks. Beef I tell her. They ran out already from the cart, so it’s off to the galley for more beef meals. It’s meatloaf, veggies and mashed potatoes and a small cup of spring water. It was reasonably tasty. It didn’t taste at all like beef, but tasty it was, just not sure like what. I ate, now I want to sleep. As I start to sleep, my head flops all over like a just caught trout. I’ll never sleep like this, that’s for sure. I turn, I twist all over, but comfort is not to be found. I actually thought about taking off my belt and using it to wrap around my forehead and the headrest so my head will stay in place and not flop all over. I decided the might think I was hanging myself, so I better not. I finally found a position to sleep a little. I really believe that nurses and flight attendants are trained in people skills at the same place. As soon as you sleep in either place, here they come to wake you up to ask if you want a sleeping pill or a pillow. Soon as I slept, here they come with food or drinks again. I guess 15 hours annoyed passes time faster then 15 hours bored. Movies 2 and 3 were good.
The pilot says we are close to landing at Beijing. I look out the window and see only haze. I heard that pollution in China is real bad. They were right, but understated the facts. OK, off the plane. I am submersed in instantly into major culture shock. I am the one, the only, and the very much noticed non-Asian in a major airport. Where do I go now? Read the signs. Oh my God….the signs. All the signs are in Chinese. Where is the exit? Which way to Customs? If I make a wrong turn they may think I’m avoiding Customs and shoot first. Follow the crowd. Here I go. Anything to claim? I think that’s what he said. I hand him my paperwork, my passport and I put my bags on his counter top. He just shakes his head at the ignorant American who just thought a cell phone sales counter was Customs. We all laugh, but him more then others. For one reason or another I seem to be the topic of the day for everyone. Many people are looking at me. Many are staring. Some look away if I see them looking but some do not. They have never seen such an oddity. I swear I looked several times to see if my zipper was open. At least 15 people approached me to offer a taxi. No thanks, I’m waiting for a friend. Where IS that friend? She works for the Three Gorge Project and said she would meet me as I got off the plane to steer me for coffee. At least 2000 people are all around me, all Chinese and all speaking what I cannot understand. There are 10 more staring, but at least half of these are smiling. My friend is not here, now what? Keep walking. Remember, a moving target is harder to hit. I read one word in English on a big sign, “Information.” I need help so bad. I head that way. Closer, what else do I need help with, oh yea, one of those stripped down grocery carts for luggage before my heart explodes. Now, back towards the help I needed. The young lady is very polite, tries her best, but very lacking on English. She tries but a young man jumps in to show me his English and says he will help me. I’m to give him my passport he says. I say just hold on there pal, who are you? He tells me, and as I look around, I see many others in the same uniform I see him in. I risk it. He grabs my shopping cart and off to the races. I’m trying to keep up, but he is around 5’ 4” tall, 115 pounds and fast. I follow him about 10 yards behind and reading signs. I see some now for “China Southern” now so I think we are heading right. He leads me ahead of the line to the ticket agent, gets my boarding pass, tells me gate 142 is that way. I thank him and offer him $5 American. He makes less then 1000 rmb per month, so I thought $5 was OK. 5 x 8 = 40 rmb for 5 minutes is OK. He shakes his head. I say, please take it. He shakes again. I’m thinking I found a real nice guy, then he says “little”, “it’s too little”. OH….he wants more money. I know $5 is enough but he wants more. I offer $10, that’s 80 rmb. He says $15, I helped you a lot. He did, so I did and he’s off. I’m alone again, sort of. I go and seat in the waiting area. I’m the only American again in all these chairs filled to the max. People are talking, yelling things, 5 10 year olds are playing Dominos, and a woman is holding a naked infant in her arms. Wait… naked? What if he……. ? Never mind that one. I get up a walk a little with my luggage cart. Being stared at again. Now a young lady of 15-16 gets up and follows me. I tell myself that I’m imagining all this, that is until she begins circling me, staring at me and smiling. She approaches with a camera in hand and I think she is saying she wants me to take her picture, but as I reach for the camera, she pulls back saying “no, I want your picture please”. I tell her, you want mine? Are you sure? She says yes please. I told her ok, but first tell me why. She says, I swear this is true, because you are so beautiful. Now it becomes apparent that drugs must be running rampant here in China too. I grant her request, but I take her picture too, just for this story. My friend finally shows up and finds me. We walk 20 yards, no wait, it’s meters now, to a restaurant. The Hostess gives me a check I coupon, then takes my luggage cart. As we sit, she parks my cart right next to me. So why the check in? The server arrives and we order regular coffee. In a few minutes she returns with two contraptions that look like the still used on “M.A.S.H. An alcohol lamp under one side with water heats the water, it goes up, down, all around and out here. This regular coffee de-chromed the spoon I stirred it with. One or two sips and I knew I’d be up for days. We sat, we talked a little, maybe 20 minutes, and then it was time to go to Zhengzhou my new home.
Back through security I go. I find my boarding gate and sit again. I’m beginning to realize that I really am an oddity. Usually the seats 2-3 feet around me are empty unless there is a very adventurous person in the group. I’ve come to understand that I fit into several oddity groups for this part of the world. 1- I’m an American. 2- I’m let’s say…larger then most. 3- Traveling alone. You put all this together and P.T. Barnum has nothing on this one man traveling circus. Ok, we are coming in for a landing at Zhengzhou. Now the nerves get all tightened up for sure. Lee and Owen, my boss, are both supposed to be meeting me here. Stay calm. Don’t do anything stupid. Smile. Don’t trip and fall as your grand entrance. Be sure to acknowledge Owen, but don’t ignore Lee. Don’t hug and kiss Lee in front of Owen and the rest of the airport as it will embarrass Lee. My god, there are hundreds of people waiting here. Where is Lee? Where is Owen? I see Owen standing there with a big sign with my name on it. I walk his way. Half way there I’m approached by a big bouquet of flowers, very beautiful flowers. Closer…closer… the flowers are lowered and there is my beautiful Lee smiling at me. I drop my bags I’m so happy. Lee has the biggest smile ever. I guess I do too. I can feel everyone looking at us. I take her hand, touch her face and say hi honey, it’s wonderful to see you. She cries a little as she keeps smiling. Owen, DON’T forget Owen. I’m doing the strangest line dance ever, as I try to move towards Owen, kick, slide and shuffle my bags his way while trying to keep my dignity and not letting go of Lee’s hand. Owen is there with a young lady he introduces to me as his little sister Coco. A few moments of pleasantries and we are off to get my two checked bags. Coco offers to help with my camera bag, that is until she learns it weighs as much as she does. Owen comes to her rescue. One minute later, I come to his rescue. He is not much bigger then she is. We go to baggage claim. Here it comes. Click, click…. Turning, turning, here comes luggage. Big luggage, small luggage, red luggage, green luggage, black luggage, all sorts of luggage, just not MY luggage. Everyone has left the baggage claim area but me. My greeting party stands outside the baggage area watching me watching this baggage belt turn with no baggage on it. The belt stops. I stare at it a moment as my heart drops clean to my feet as I realize…. “MY BAGS ARE LOST SOMEWHERE IN CHINA”. Owen assures me all will be ok. Baggage people say it’s my fault because I did not claim my bags in Beijing. I had no idea to do that. Usually bags are switched from plane to plane as you travel by the never seen “baggage gods”. I’m 9,000 miles from anything I know in the world, and everything I own is lost. I’m imagining it fell from the sky mysteriously, and landed on the island of the TV show of the same name, “Lost”. Owen writes down a phone number and we leave. He assures me it will all be ok. Almost 30 hours in the same clothes, I hope it’s soon.
Owen has a driver from the school there with a mini SUV of some sort. In we go. Owen is very happy and friendly. Coco looks afraid to talk. Lee is holding my hand tightly. She keeps me calm. Owen tells me Coco is starting college this year and plans to take Chinese Medicine to become a doctor. I thought she was 15 years old. We drive about 30-40 minutes. What a different world this is. Not as well lighted as Orlando but at least they drive on the same side of the road as we do….usually. The lanes are striped as in America, but not as adhered to. They are more like the crumbs you drop to find your way home again. Many of the cars straddle the lines and make their own lanes. We arrive at the school, I think. Very few lights. A traffic arm is lowered across the road we are on to stop traffic. I see no one at all, but Owen opens the window, says a few words and magically is raises. A few more yards, I mean meters, and we are at a door. No lights at all except for the car headlights. We all get out except the driver. Into that glass door we go. Pretty dark here. I see an elevator in front of us. Just as Owen presses the elevator button, the headlights go out. I just learned a new definition of the word “dark”. Finally it opens and we are heading up to the 7th floor, the top floor. We step out, the elevator closes, and here we are again in that dark I mentioned a moment ago. I think to myself, can these people actually see in the dark? Owen unlocks the door to 701, turns on the light, and we all enter. I’m home.
I am expecting something like I saw in 50 year old pictures of China, very small, plain and dimly lit. The door opens and as Owen hits the light, I see a very big room ahead with shiny wood floors. The first half is empty, but I see a modern looking dining table and three chairs at the other end, obviously the dining area. This looks very nice I think. I enter and off to my left is the living room with full size vinyl couch, two big single chairs, coffee table and a very modern approximately 25” TV on a long, short stand with 2 storage areas. Very contemporary. I like it. The bedroom looks a little bigger then the one in my house. There are two bed tables and a double wardrobe for clothes, both hanging and two shelves for folded ones. I walk around the apartment a few times taking it all in. Owen is smiling. He sees I like it so far. At the end of the living room near the windows, there is a long metal bar hanging high above. I see thin metal cables on each end, leading to a chromed crank type handle attached to the wall. I’m puzzled and it shows. Everyone laughs as they are aware I have no idea what this is. Owen turns the crank and the bar lowers. I’m thinking, is this for exercise, for pull ups? Owen says this is the clothes dryer. After the wash is done, you place all clothes on hangers, place the hangers on this bar and raise it, leaving the clothes to dry naturally. Hmmm…I’m sure this bar and I will see each other again.
The study has a modern looking computer style desk. I see a china cabinet style piece of furniture for general storage. Wood looking floors and one wall all windows and curtains. I dropped a pen and quickly learned the wood floors are the fake wood floors we also see in America. Looks great but one or two special features. If you drop something, anything really, it sounds 10 times louder then on any other floor. The other thing, if it gets wet it gets extremely slippery. This floor type is throughout the apartment except for the tiled bathroom.
The bathroom is next. I’m assured that I have a western style toilet in my apartment. I peek into the bathroom, and there it is, a genuine, white ceramic, authentic American style toilet… my new best friend. If you need to understand this point better, log onto the Internet, go to Google, then images. Type in “Chinese public toilets”, then enter. Spend about 2-3 minutes looking around here and you will fully know what I mean. The bathroom looks a little plain, but all tiled and ok I guess. Something is odd, but I’m not sure what it is yet. Bathtub/shower, sink, toilet, at least all the basics.
Next is the kitchen. Ok, now we are getting more basics minded. First off, the counter top is lower then usual. Dual sinks look slightly smaller, but ok. The stove, well that consists of a big two burner gas hotplate style object. The gas line is plainly visible and has a gas shut off valve showing. There is a very big, black, what we call a wok on the stove. It has been used many many times over the years, but cleaned seldom. It has to go. A microwave to the left, and refrigerator to left of that. There is no regular oven at all. Lee tells me there are no regular ovens in China that she has seen. I guess baking is out. Something else is strange here too, but not sure what it is. It’s the same feeling I had in the bathroom.
Owen tells me I’m to be his guest for lunch tomorrow. Breakfast is out of the question as its 2 AM now. I thank him for everything and I present him with a very nice, wooden ball point pen I had engraved with his name and the school’s name to show my appreciation. He looks very humble, blushes slightly, accepts the gift and thanks me. He and Coco leaves and Lee stays to help me unpack what little I have. One minute into unpacking and that strange feeling hits me. I realize it was that there is no storage. In the bathroom, there is no storage at all. Not a cabinet, not a shelf, nothing. No place for my razor, shave cream or tooth brush. Hmmm… Now I look closer. Something else, there is no toilet paper, I mean not even someplace to hang it. It was not even a thought when the bathroom was built. Ok, now it’s time to put my observation skills on high alert. That strangeness I felt earlier in the kitchen was that there was almost no storage there either. This smooth shiny tile floor in the bathroom may be a bit slippery. The shower curtain… it look like a normal one, almost. It’s hanging on a permanent mounted bar about two feet outside of the bathtub. When you shower, a lot of water will easily fall on that smooth tile floor I mentioned. Hmmm… smooth tile, soapy water, oh yea I see the news paper now “Naked American falls through 7th floor window to his death on college campus”. The story further states that they are not sure how this happened, but at least he was clean when he fell.
Lee and I talked a lot. It’s great to see her. We both smile like school kids. After a while she had to leave. I showered and fell onto the bed, exhausted. I just bruised myself on the mattress. It was harder then I imagined, in fact, similar to the floor. The only give in the mattress was in the sheets covering it. After the past 15 years on a water bed, this will be an experience for my back for sure.
The next day I’m up, dressed and waiting for Owen’s call. We have plans for lunch. Down the elevator, 15 meters to the right and we are at the entrance to the hotel. It seems the hotel is owned and operated by the school I’m working for. I am in a private building attached, for foreign experts (that’s me). Into the lobby and towards what looks line a big dining room. I’m right. Very big with tables for maybe 10 people each scattered all across the room. There are maybe 15 people there eating and a buffet on my right. Uh-oh… my first real meal in China and no Lee at my side to protect me from whatever I may eat and not know what it is. I recognize some of the foods but not even half of them. They are all labeled in Chinese. I’m lost. I choose some things I know, and a few Owen chooses. There are two dispensers at the end of the table with a green and a yellowish colored liquids. I see two bottles of what appears to be warm beer next to them. I pass on the drinks and place my plate on the table near Owen’s. He goes back for more, so I take a soup bowl and go to what I saw that looked like egg drop soup in America. I take some and am seated to eat. I eat slowly, looking at everything before I eat it. It seems ok. Not too spicy, not bland, not bad. Owen sees I’m eating little and smiles a bit. He offers me some of his beer. It is room temperature. After lunch, Owen walks with me across the street to a very big open air market. There are many small, I mean SMALL stores there selling everything imaginable. The stores are so small, that 1-2 people inside and the store is full. It looks more like a flea market you see in America. There is an assortment of vehicles buzzing all around us including bicycles, electric bicycles, electric scooters, a few gas (very old) scooters, and some types that are indescribable. I must come back with my camera. It’s very different I think. Owen helps me buy bath soap, shampoo, laundry soap and a waste basket. He bargains for everything. Prices are all inflated for tourists just as Orlando does on International Drive, and he does his best to get them lower. I am stared at everywhere I go. Back to my apartment and Owen has to leave. I thank him as he leaves. I still can’t get my cell phone to work here. Lee bought me a new sim card for my phone and I had unlocking codes from T-Mobile to use it. I do what T-Mobile said, but it does not work. Why am I not surprised? I brought a back-up cell phone and tried it. Nope, nothing. I try to get on the Internet to contact T-Mobile about this, the Internet is not working here yet. Next day Owen brings me an Internet cable and tries to set up my computer. Nope, still not surprised. No Internet. No cell phone, no email, 9000 miles from home, why should I be nervous?
Lee comes over at 3:30 PM as she said she would. We need to go shopping. I hate shopping but it’s necessary for sure. She is not familiar with this part of town so she asks the ladies at hotel desk where is a super market. After being almost hit by 2 bicycles, a scooter and a tuk-tuk (the sound the engine makes), we get into a taxi and we are off. Lots of cars, lots of cycles of all sorts, lots of people….water being thrown from a business onto the sidewalk. The taxi stops and we exit for the super market. Lee leads the way as I’m being stared at as though I was naked. First thing I notice, is there are many employees here, many more then in American stores. There is at least 1 employee every 10 feet (3 meters) we walk in any direction. First thing I need is a fan. Ac is on but not that cool yet. Lee is told the fans are downstairs. We head that way and I see what looks something like an escalator, except it’s perfectly flat, just angled down. I slipped on and almost fall on top of Lee. I’m not used to this yet. We get a fan after Lee bargains a bit. Looks ok, has a remote control and all. Onward we go. Electric power strips, cups, plates, chop sticks…. Chop sticks??? Oh yea, China. The cart is almost full and I’ve not even seen food yet. She asks, and we learn it’s on another part of the level we are on. This is a BIG market. Ok, I see food ahead. I hear yelling too. Every 15-20 feet there is a young man yelling something about the items he is selling, whether it be eggs, fruit, etc. Eggs? I know eggs. We need eggs. Lee spots the eggs ahead. I see bins about 3-4 feet square, loaded with eggs. Now I did not say eggs in egg cartons like in America, just eggs. I have no idea how we will get these eggs home in one piece. She places 12 eggs in a plastic bag, puts them in the cart and off we go again. I see fruit. I know fruit, or so I thought. Red Delicious apples…YES. Get 4. that was the end of what I really knew. Lee said get these, get those, you will like them I promise. I see fruit in sizes and shapes I’ve never seen before. Duhhh…it’s China, remember? A different part of the world. We get several types of fruit. I spot a very strange fruit. It’s big, maybe 12 inches across, with big, spiny bumps all over it making me wonder just how you eat this thing. Lee come up next to me smiling again. She says some strange word and says it’s a fruit from Thailand. It is the best tasting fruit she has ever tried, but it has just one strange characteristic, other then it’s appearance. You see, this fruit smell extremely bad. It smells like a garbage dump, on a hot summer day right after a rain. Tempting, huh? I think we will pass up this piece of exotica for the time being. We are now ready to leave…maybe. We are on the lower level, we paid on this level but the exit is upstairs. There is no way to take the cart up there. Lee goes upstairs to flag a taxi and asks me to wait here for her. The staring is now in high gear. She returns to save me from all those inquisitive eyes and we start to haul all our stuff up the escalator (a real one this time) to the waiting taxi. Two trips and it’s all in. back to my apartment we go. It’s dark out now. Uh-oh, no hall lights in my apartment building. The taxi lets us out and off he goes. Darkness envelops Lee and me. I can’t even see her. We grab all the purchases and head for where I think the elevator is. As I feel my way inside, I pray the elevator door is closed and I don’t fall into an open elevator shaft to the basement. I can see the newspaper now…”American falls to his death in open elevator shaft, but at least he is dressed this time.” As I put some of the things away, I notice more differences between food purchases in both countries. Milk… sounds basic enough. Wrong. This milk was in a pouch of some sort. The pouch was tapered sharply at both ends. Both ends? How do you stand it up? You don’t. It just lays there, at least until you cut open one end, then who knows? The laundry soap was the same shape package, just bigger. Cut open one end, use some of the soap, then set it down and watch it fall over spilling the contents. When we bought the two packages of milk, there was a smaller container of yogurt attached to them, at least Lee said it was yogurt. I shook it and it sounded liquid to me. Lee said “of course it’s a liquid. How else would it be?” Remember, I’m in learning mode.
Next day I’m up at the crack of 9AM. My back is real stiff. I really miss my water bed. Coffee…I need coffee. We bought a jar of instant coffee yesterday. There was only one type, one name, one size…Nescafe Gold. Looks good enough to me. There was no diet sugar of any kind. I grab my furnished tea pot looking thing. I shake it and hear something like sand inside. I empty it in the sink and it’s a black, grainy substance. That’s the end of that tea pot. Wait !!! The water dispenser had a hot and a cold spout. The cold was room temp but maybe the hot was a little hot. I put my hand under the hot and opened it a little. AHHH… I run to the sink to kill the burn. The cold was not cold, but the hot was very hot, as in coffee ready hot. Ok, get the cup of water, add the coffee. Now cut the milk container and add a little. Place it back in the fridge and …dam, fell over and spilled some. Ok, clean it up and get the sugar. Same shape package. Cut it, add some, knock it over, spill some… yes it’s all falling in place now. To my desk and start some music, (no Internet yet, remember?) I relax and take a sip of coffee. After all that mess, it’s cold. I didn’t want that coffee anyway. Did I mention that I missed my cell phone and email? I do have a house phone. I’m not sure of the number, but it rings now and then. I run to answer it, and it falls off the table and the wire pulls from the phone. The wire from the wall is supposed to lock into the phone, but doesn’t. The wire from the phone to the handset is about 1 foot long. It won’t reach your ear, so you have to lean way over to the phone. So THAT is how they hold down the phone bill, it’s too uncomfortable to use for more then 1-2 minutes. Lee called today and asked if she could take me to a special dinner of Peking Duck. She came over about 4PM. She brought me a few nice things I needed. A good kitchen set of tools for chopping and cooking. She brought me two large bath towels too. That other towel was like a wash cloth, way too small. She had a water melon too. She told me she had a special restaurant in mind for us tonight. The restaurant was considered only a medium one, but the food was excellent. Lee ordered for us both. In just a few minutes, the first course arrives, a big bowl and bean sprouts and another sprout family vegetable of some sort. Several times she said she hopes I liked it, just enough to make me a little nervous. I asked her why I may not like it. She replied it’s a little hot. Oh well, here we go. Where is my fork? Lee smiles again. There are no forks in this restaurant at all. I see chop sticks near the small dish in front of me. I tried them and after a few painful moments for Lee and myself, I managed to get a few pieces of food in my mouth, as well as some on the floor, the table, one almost hit Lee, and one small bean sprout sliding down the window after I accidentally flipped it there. The three people at the only other table in the small room we were seated in, were all laughing at my chop sticks antics. That first dish of food was very good tasting, but a lot hotter then I thought. I quickly learned how Chinese people stay slim. It takes so long to get any amount of food in your mouth, you get tired and quit. Two bites and my mouth was on fire. A few sips of a local beer and I’m ready for anything. Here comes a second and a third dish. The table is so small, where will it go? Now a fourth, and my god, a big bowl of soup too. Lee explains that there are no other spicy foods on the table. One plate near Lee looks exactly like the burrito wraps we see in America, just a little smaller in size and a lot thinner. The duck was served on a plate cut into small pieces the size of two quarters. I was expecting a whole, possible live duck on a plate flapping around. Whew…. Glad I was wrong. Lee takes three pieces of duck one at a time. She gently dips them into a dish with a dark liquid then places them on the burrito wrapper. She adds a few vegetable pieces, then very gently, methodically, wraps them up. It looks exactly like a small burrito. She hands it to me with two hands. I reach for it with one hand, and she says, “no, two please.” It’s some sort of custom. I took it and had a bite. It was very good. I told her and she smiled. The other dish was small shrimp and some vegetable adornments that would make Chef Nick smile. All the food tasted great, though it looked nothing at all like the Chinese food I’ve eaten in America. It’s about 8PM as we exit the restaurant and look for a taxi. Every time I get into a taxi here, I’m actually amazed that we don’t run over at least 15 people driving those bicycles and scooters all over, in any direction, all at the same time. I could hear the end of the handle bars touching the taxi a few times as we passed them. This is population control NASCAR style. As we arrive at my apartment, I get out of the taxi and I hear something like a groan. What is that? Uh oh, it’s me. Hurry upstairs.
Laundry day is here. No problem. I’ve been doing my own laundry for years….whites, colors, bleach, no bleach, cold water, etc. I have about three days of clothes to wash, so I figure two loads, one whites and one colors. I separate them and start to load the colors first. Hmmm… something is wrong, it won’t fit in the washer. It’s a front loader, so I bend down a bit to have a look inside, maybe it has old laundry inside already. What on earth???? The inside of the washer, the tub, is no bigger then the bucket back home I used to wash my car. I knew the washer looked a little small, but….. A pair of jean shorts and two shirts and it’s full. WOW… This will take a few loads to finish. The chart had a few numbers and words in English on the front of the washer. Let’s see… #2-Intense… that sounds like it’s for me, so I rotate the knob to #2. Nothing happens. I try to push or pull the knob like my old washer…nothing happens. I see three larger buttons in a row in the middle, but all marked in Chinese. Now what?? I push the left one, nothing, so I un-push it. Now #2, nothing. I hit #3 and a small light comes on and I hear a small noise like something trying to happen but not quite. Look, look, look. I see a valve on the water line just like the one on the gas line, a 90 degree to open or close it. It’s in the same position as the open gas line was so I think it’s open. After a moment, I move the handle to what was closed on the gas and I hear water coming into the washer. Ok, great so far. There is a small drawer in front at the upper left area of the washer. It opens very easily and I see several compartments. Looks like it could be for soap, softener, etc. One has a soapy crust, so I assume that is the one for my soap. I get the laundry soap container from under the sink. I cot open the top and put about one cup full into that drawer. I place the laundry soap container on the counter and ….DAM, it fell over, spilling soap all over the counter. Remember the container shapes I mentioned earlier? Tapered at BOTH ends…it can’t stand up. I close the drawer and here it goes, I’ll clean up spilled soap in a minute. I see soap suds in the washer, it’s working. Whew… in a few minutes I’ll start another load. Twenty minutes later I go back to look, and the dial has moved about ¼ inch of it’s six inch journey. OK, I’ll look later. Thirty more minutes and I look again. One inch this time….Hmmm. This might take a little longer then I thought. A little over two hours later, I swear 2 HOURS, it’s done. My other washer was 20 minutes, tops. Another learning experience. No laundry basket yet, so I grab them all out and now….. oh yea, the dryer he mentioned at the other end of the living room, that long gold colored bar. It seems that no one at all in China has a clothes dryer that runs on electric or gas. China does not have enough power plants yet and electric is actually twice the price per kilowatt as in America. It’s so hard to NOT compare everything to America. Yesterday I saw what looked like a larger end table near the end of the living room. A rather odd place for an end table, but perfect for a laundry table. I drop all four pieces of semi dry laundry on my newly recognized laundry table and get some hangers. Each piece on a hanger, then hung on the bar for undetermined time to dry. Kind of like how Mom hung clothes to dry in our back yard back in the 60’s. It seems if you do not do laundry every day, between other chores, you will never finish it. I start my second of three loads and settle in for a long morning (and afternoon). I have enough free time between loads to clean my apartment, wash dishes, fix the bed, eat lunch, change my oil if I still had a car, nap and write some letters. The clothes are not dry to the next day. You really have to plan your weekly wardrobe long in advance here.
Still no Internet. I’m having withdrawals I swear. Waiting to see if Owen found someone today to come fix it. I need the net so I can contact T-Mobile about the cell phone unlocking code instructions they gave me that do not work. I have to unlock my phone so I can get it to work here. I also need to contact Epson so I can download software in English for the new printer I bought with Lee yesterday. Oh yea, I forgot to mention that. It’s a all-in-one, copier, scanner and fax, an RX430. More on that later. I do need the software. I loaded the one they gave me in Chinese thinking I can figure it out….WRONG. Uninstall and wait for the Internet. EMAIL !!! I’ve not checked or sent any in about 5-6 days now. I wanted to update family and friends. I bet I have 300 emails waiting, probably 98% junk spam. I’m so out of touch with the world, I’ve considered smoke signals.
Day 5: Things I miss already…
My car for one. You need to walk (not great for me) or taxi anywhere you go. Most local taxis are 6 yuan (85 cents) but very small cars, something like a Toyota Corolla. The front seats are back, add a cage and there isn’t much room left for my ample size. Good lighting is scarce. Most lights have been switched to either DC bulbs or those mini fluorescent ones that look cool, but put out 25% of what a regular bulb does. So far if I’ve eaten out, it’s been in larger modern looking restaurants. No matter what so far, not long after eating, I need to be close to a bathroom. Air conditioned stores are scarce. Many are as big or bigger then in America, but none with ac so far that I’ve seen. Yesterday, 40 minutes buying a printer with Lee in a very big electronics complex bigger then a Super Wal-Mart, and I looked like I was in a sauna…I was soaked through, clothing, hair, socks, everything. The printer is actually a copier, scanner and fax all in one. It was marked 2,892 rmb (their money). Lee started talking to the salesman. She got a little more forceful as they talked. I asked her what was wrong and she asked me to wait one minute. After all that, the price was lowered to 2000 rmb, and they included the printer cable, a ream of regular paper and two packages on high gloss photo paper. They even delivered the printer taking Lee and I too, for free. Pretty good deal I think. Did I mention the Internet? Day 5 and still have none. Did I mention cell phone? Day 5, still none. Ordinary rolls of paper towels like those found in every house in America, are all but unheard of here. Those that get inventive, use a roll of toilet paper instead. Perforated toilet paper is not common. I’ve seen some, but standard is a tightly wound roll of four, that’s (4) ply paper. Two ply is top shelf in America. The toilet paper here I’ve found has a perforation about 6-12 inches from the beginning. Any further perforations are very far apart or just not there at all. Next missing luxury is a plastic dish drain, also in every house in America. They’ve never heard of one here.
Every time I go out, I’m treated like a very rare person, as I guess I am. Everyone stares, I mean everyone. The men look at me like to say “just what ARE you”? The women look with curiosity (he looks like a cross between human and Martian) as well as friendship. They smile many times but rarely speak. The smaller children look at you until you see them looking then they turn away quickly. One little girl about 10 years old followed me through the Super Market yesterday for about 30 minutes. Every time I turned to look at her she gave me the biggest smile ever. I have seen no other foreigners on the street yet. I saw one on the flight from Beijing to Zhengzhou. I thought I might see many foreigners on the street as we do in America. Boy was I wrong. Maybe one day I’ll get a little used to the staring, just not any time soon. Toilet paper with perforations. This paper has one perforation about 8 inches in, then maybe one every 3 feet or so..maybe none for half the roll. Good old heavy duty napkins at a meal. Many times there are none. Some times a small package is left on your table part was through the meal. I opened it to look, and it contained 4 napkins I think, but looked and felt more like tissues. Knives and forks are sorely missed already. I’m kind of getting used to the chop sticks, that is until I accidentally flip some food across the room.
July 31st….. it’s Chinese Valentines Day today. Owen came by at 6:30 to bring his friend and help me get Internet service here. I still have none. They worked an hour, but nothing. Owen came here with his friend named Fox and a beautiful young lady. It seems Owen and she just got married today. That’s why he has been hard to locate the last few days. I feel bad he came here today, his wedding day, for my Internet. Owen is sending a friend of his son tomorrow morning to practice English and be my assistant for the day. He will help me do whatever I need. We will go to the bank so I can start an account here and get a debit card. After that we will go to Henan Museum located pretty close to where I am. I’ll write more after I see and take some pictures in the museum.
August 1st today. At 9AM I heard a very small tapping sound. I stopped what I was doing and looked for it. It stopped, then started a minute later. After 3 minutes or so, I finally was near the front door, so I just opened it for no real reason. I was startled, there was a man standing there. I said hello and why are you here. He introduced himself as “Allan, like Allan Iverson”. He was here to be my assistant today for whatever I needed. We sat a few minutes and talked. He is the son of my boss’ friend. He was here to trade his services for the chance to practice English with me. He seemed very nice. Our first stop was the Bank of China, so I could convert money and open an account and get a Debit card for use here in China. Allan explained what I wanted to the clerk. He seemed hesitant on converting more then a few hundred dollars. It took a while, but Allan finally convinced him I did not want to take the money, I wanted to leave it in this bank in my name. When he smiled at me I knew he understood. He gave us four forms to fill out. I did best I could, then had Allan do the rest in Chinese. Back in line to the clerk again. He looked at them and shook his head. Even I understood that. I’m still not sure why, but for legal banking business a ball point pen is not legal, it had to be a special bank pen that looked and felt exactly like a roller ball pen to me. Why argue, especially in a different language. Four more forms and that special pen and we were doing fine. Different banking rules here in China. When you get a Debit or Credit card, it comes with 60 transactions built in to it. After 60 uses, no matter what you have in the account, you must go to a branch of that bank and give them your card. They give you a printout of the last 60 transactions and allow you 60 more. What can I say…when in Rome….. Next stop was a very famous noodle restaurant. Famous in all of China for the Henan Noodles, supposedly the best in China. Nice place, very well staffed and clean looking. Allan says to me to sit and wait, as he runs off. A few minutes later he appears and sits. Two ladies appear with two bowls of food, one filled with cooked, chilled, cut in pieces, chicken. The other with a brown, 1 inch wide and 1/8th inch thick something tied into bows on the plate. I learned it was tofu. I tried the chicken and it was very good. I looked at the tofu, thought about the public toilets in China and decided to pass on that tofu plate. Five minutes later two other ladies appeared each carrying a bowl of noodles in a soup broth that was big enough to feed 2-3 people. There was one for each of us. Chop sticks are the norm, as a fork is not to be found in most restaurants. I hold them so tight I get hand cramps. The noodles were very good. I enjoyed them very much. By the time we finished, we had no time for the Museum, as Allan had to leave for another appointment. Lee is supposed to be here about 4PM and the school Internet “Big guy” at 4:30 to see if he can get the Internet working here.
Well I guess you all can tell I finally have my Internet working....sort of. They say its high speed, but they fail to say, as compared to what. It is very much slower then anything called high speed in America. It is a little faster then dial up. I was alone today for a few hours and I got a little bored, SOOooooooo I decided to be brave and wander out alone for a while. OK, check list please... Passport-check. Wallet-check. Yuan (money)-check. Name and address of my apartment-check. Big bag of bread crumbs so I can find my way home-check. I head to my left for the first time. All different this way. I cross to the other side and try to mingle in the crowd and maybe be a bit less noticed. Boy was I wrong. There are a few more things I needed so I thought I may find them and haggle over the price. That is another joke. How do you haggle when you can't speak the language? I can. I brought paper and pen. Everyone is staring as usual. This time it gets a bit organized. One of the locals was so shocked to see me, she called to her friend in another store a little ways up the street. She poked her head out to see me coming, then called a few more friends. There was quite a gathering. I walked a while then turned right, into that big market I mentioned earlier that was near my apartment. This has to be the biggest outdoor/indoor market I ever saw. I mean thousands of stores. Now I'm seeing stores in sections. A line of clothing stores ahead, maybe 50-100 of them. Some sell name brand clothes (maybe bootlegged) and some make clothing right there to sell. Next up is the cleaning supplies. Brooms, mops, buckets, etc. This is literally the place where mops and brooms are born. I see people with very big bundles of the material mops are made from. One person brings the bundle to one place. There they unravel the material and cut it to lengths needed in mass quantities. Someone brings it to another place where it will be assembled. Someone else is heading this way with a big bundle of wooden handles for the mops and brooms. There are 2-3 older women here squatting down, grabbing handfuls of the material, a handle, and swinging a hammer of sorts as she fastens it all into a mop in a very few minutes. A young lady grabs the mops and takes them to another pile of finished products. Amazing to watch. Onward. I see a store that sells clocks and small electronics. I do need a clock. I step in and over small children and the one other customer and I fill the store. I see a nice medium sized white wall clock. Looks good. I point at it and say how much. The lady says the amount in Chinese and I cannot understand at all. Ok, I’m ready. I pull out my paper and pen and motion for her to write the amount. She writes 15 rmb. I look at it and shake my head…too much. She says about 25 words in rapid succession. I have no idea what, but when she pushes the paper my way, I know I’m on the right track. By the way, 15 rmb is about $1.90. That clock would sell in Kmart for $5-$6. I write 10 rmb on my bargaining contract. She looks, mumbles, then agrees. When she hands me the clock, it has no battery. I showed her that and pointed as I need one battery. She writes 2rmb, and I say no and put the clock on her counter to leave. She grabs a new battery and asks for the agreed 10 rmb. I give her the money and leave with a smile. My first bilingual bargaining session. A few meters ahead I come to an office supply store of sorts. Office Depot has nothing to worry about. Looks like maybe mom, daughter and grand daughter run the place. Grand daughter appears around 4. I looked around a bit, I mean literally by standing in one spot and turning around. A pad of paper, 2 pens, small scissors and a roll of small white sticky labels so I can stick names in English on all the knobs and buttons written in Chinese as I learn what they are. 6.5 rmb, about 75 cents, such a deal. I probably walked ½ mile in this market so far What’s this? Critters ahead. There are cages of live chickens for sale. Several stores of them. Next door are tubs of fish. All this is outside on the walkway. Here is one of snails too. More fish, cat fish, BIG catfish. What’s this?? Uggg…squid, lots of them. I lean over to look into the next tub, and as I jump back, the two guys sitting there have a good laugh. This tub was full of live eels. I did not expect that.
The drivers here drive anywhere they like. The lines in the road are not lane marker, but more like aiming points. They will readily have 4-5 lanes of traffic on a 3 lane road. These electric scooters are everywhere in one form or another.

Yesterday I met with Allen and we went to the Henan Museum. It was a beautiful, modern building. It seems Zhengzhou has up to 5000 years of history. Impressive. Just inside the door I saw a statue that went floor to ceiling of two elephants and one of their past Emperors, all in gold. All the floors were polished stone, possibly marble. The artifacts were all from 2000-5000 years old and quite beautiful.
After the museum, Allen and I went to a special place, an American Pizza restaurant…sort of. I told myself I would try to eat Chinese food 6 days a week, at least 5, and then find American food 1-2 days a week. I’m here a week, it’s American food day. Into a taxi and off we go. I’m not sure how yet, but I will try to take a short10-15 second video soon of a taxi ride. Verbally describing the ride is not even close to the actual experience. About 6 minutes later we are there. Looks very nice. Corner location, three small polished marble steps, two big heavy glass doors, two pretty young ladies open both doors and a big smile to greet us. Immaculately clean, almost brand new looking. We have a choice of seating styles. One has hardwood, glasstop tables with overstuffed leather couches for seats, something like the seats at Panera Bread back home. The other is much more conventional, same table, with matching chairs. I opt for the second style. We sit, and then a voice appears from above. I look up and I see an attractive Chinese lady, 25ish, looking down from the upstairs seating area. Her English is perfect. She is apologizing to us, I’m just not sure why yet. I learn that the power company has decided to turn off the power for most of the day. That spells “NO PIZZA” to me in big letters. My taste buds are about to mutiny. I was all set, mentally and taste buds, for pizza, I mean good pizza. Too bad. The lady comes down and introduces herself as Ashley. Her and her husband own the business. She has two small boys with her about 2 and 4 years old. She and husband are from China, but raised and educated in America. They have returned to China to open this business which is open about a year now. At least from what a customer sees, this business is absolutely perfect. Everything is spotless and brand new looking. A bar at the end of the lower dining area for servers getting your orders and drinks. I’m not sure if alcohol or beer is available, I never asked. The menu included several appetizers, 3 soups, 4 different pizzas, a few pastas and chicken wings….just like home. I accepted Ashley’s card and we left, promising to return. I had an appointment to meet Lee at 1 PM, so we were heading back to my place. My taste buds turned themselves off, so no lunch today. Allen departs, so I go up and ready for Lee to arrive. Maybe some fruit for lunch.
Lee arrives as scheduled. We run several errands together all around my part of town. I pick up a new phone for my study…bright red as in the “Bat Phone”. Looks good, big numbers, caller ID, speaker phone, redial, etc, for 28rmb ($3.50). Around 6:30 we decide it’s dinner time. Guess what? My taste buds came alive. Does Ashley have power? I called her and she says YES, come on over. Off we go. I can actually hear my taste buds cheering…..pizza, pizza,pizza. The taxi arrives and the two door greeters swing open both doors and wave frantically at me, big smiles, saying “hello Joseph”. Lee looks at me as if to say, you seem to make friends easily here. As we walked in, Ashley and her husband Henry call out to Lee and I from behind that bar I mentioned earlier. We walk to the bar and I see Henry standing there smiling and Ashley is seated and talking to us as we approach. I see Ashley’s hair, then head, shoulders, and then……..Oh my God, she is breast feeding. I stop in my tracks and take one giant step backwards. Let’s stay at the head and shoulders area. Ashley and Henry laugh. We sat and ordered a pizza, a large. It was very good. I learned a large here is a small back home. Small was about 9 inches across and a large maybe 12-14 at most. Now it’s MY turn to teach Lee. We are served with a knife and fork and napkin….no chop sticks. I can’t imagine chop sticks with pizza. She had holding the fork down well, but a few instructions on the knife and she was on her own. Very good job for her first try, at least most of the food stayed on her plate.

The other evening Lee took me to buy a smaller camera bag and a tripod I needed. I have both back home, but could not get them here in my luggage. We were off to an area with many camera stores. You could spend all day and night looking into these stores. I swear I think there is at least one store for each citizen of Zhengzhou. Into the first store we go. I see no bags at all. We ask, actually Lee asks, for a medium to large size camera bag. The salesman shows us a bag about 4x8 inches in size. That was the biggest he had. We asked for another store that may have one and we are told there are none in all of the city. Ok, we need to at least look a little longer. Out the door, turn left and there is another camera store right next door. There are no camera bags visible but the sales people are very excited to see me. They asked Lee if I was a foreigner and where I was from. As soon as they heard America, I was an instant celebrity. Everyone wanted a picture with me. Of course I obliged, just as I’m sure Tom Cruise would. After about 6 pictures with all employees, I’m told one of the pictures will be hung in the waiting room on their wall of fame. Maybe one day I’ll go back and autograph it for them.(just kidding) we ask the same question about a camera bag and are asked to sit please. We do and are promptly served lukewarm water which is very popular here. Very cold drinks popular in America are not so common here. Here comes the first bag. Green, bigger then the other store’s bag was by far, but still a little small. Not one bag is on display. He has to go into the back room and bring bags out one by one for my review. It seems like a very slow process to me, but we do it their way here. In a few moments he returns with bag #2. I see immediately it has potential. Looks good, bigger, lots of padding, has both a shoulder strap as well as a “back pack” style harness. I check dimension inside and I’m pretty sure it will work. We all smile. The ticket price is 700 rmb. Now I ask for a tripod. Off he goes again to that mysterious “back room”, then returns with a good looking tripod. Looks great, just like a Bogen brand, in fact exactly like one. It’s a copy, a good copy made in China. Ticket price is 435 rmb. Lee translates and we start our customary bargaining session. I asked about the bags padding and durability. The clerk immediately takes the bag and throws it on the floor very hard. H says “see, no damage” in Chinese of course. I told him I was worried about damaging my camera not the bag. Everyone laughs. We turn our attention to the tripod for a moment. It really looks pretty strong and feels solid. I had to question the strength, then he does a one handed hand stand on the tripod. I guess it’s strong. Lee is talking price now. Chinese are something like Italians, they talk louder but are not really arguing. They want 1135 rmb for both while Lee offers something like500. after a while I hear them both sort of settle down a bit. Lee turns towards me and says “how about 700 rmb for both”? that’s about $80. the tripod sells for more then that alone in America and I paid about $50 for a similar bag in Orlando. So I paid full price for the bag and got the tripod for free. Such a deal. The whole store of people come to the door to wave and say good bye as we leave. I was the first foreigner ever in that store.
Today Lee took me to see a few of the local sights here in Zhengzhou. There are not many here as this city is an industrial center and very few tourists come here. Almost 5000 years ago, the original Zhengzhou was a famous city. They built a wall around this city for defense purposes. The was about 30 feet tall, maybe 75-100 feet wide more or less and was constructed in a strange manner in my opinion. They built a wooden frame, or mold of sorts, out of wood. The mold was filled with dirt. It was then packed down with tremendous force. I have no idea how it was compacted, but they compacted the dirt until it became a solid object. They would then take down the wooden mold, move it a little farther along and do the same thing again and again until the city was completely surrounded. It took over 1000 years to complete. It sounds similar to the dykes built in New Orleans, except these work. Most of this wall has been destroyed over the years due to commercial uses of the land or lack of maintenance, but a few small sections remain. We went to see one of these sections. I took a few pictures of what remains. They also built a small park around this section and it looks very nice. Adjacent to the park, I mean touching the boundaries, is the new, industrial parts. There are apartments are for common people. You can see the electrical conglomeration in between the buildings. This is to supply heat to them in winter. Looks very early 1900’s America to me. There was an elderly woman selling hand made shoe inserts outside the park. Very nice looking and well made. For some reason she refused to allow me to take her picture making one of them. After this, we went to see the Zhengzhou Pagoda, a monument built to honor those that died in the Jinghan railway Strike February 4, 1923. It is 14 stories tall and located in the center of Zhengzhou business district, the center of town. There is a huge bell at top of the Pagoda that chimes with a beautiful sound that can be heard for miles. Just before the bell strikes hourly, it plays the melody of Dong Fang Hong. Very pleasant to hear. At the top you can see for a great distance. Just below I saw what looks like a town square of sorts. A very big black and white area maybe 50x50 meters with a tile pattern. Upon looking closer, I believe that pattern holds a VERY big water fountain of sorts. No one could answer me on this, but I’m sure I’m right. I will try to come back one evening to see if I am. There is a section of street off to one side that is closed off to all vehicles. It’s sort of like our Church Street in Orlando, all shops for people to walk store to store. At the edge of this area I see a big stone set as a monument or statue of some kids neatly bordered by greenery and big Chinese lettering on the front. I asked for a translation, and was told it was a friendly reminder to all shop owners, “Do not cheat customers”. Hmmm… interesting.
On the way back to my apartment we decide to stop for lunch. Lee asks if I would like to try “Hot Pots”? I saw something about them on TV the other day on the ONE English channel. It looked very good, so I agreed. Into a taxi and we are off. All the hustle and bustle of the big city, then we make a turn onto a side street. I was amazed. It was beautiful. A strong hint of country, the suburbs, in the middle of the city. We stopped in front of a beautiful restaurant and two attendants immediately ran to our taxi to assist us. Very nice. We walk in and are greeted by a young woman in a long red gown. I feel under dressed in my shorts but I’m assured it’s ok. We are seated at a table immaculately set. There are two chrome, double cooker sort of looking objects on the table. One foe each of us, along with beautiful dishes (China?) and chop sticks. Lee looks over the menu. She knows what I won’t eat, feline, canine, chicken heads, etc. I’m looking around, and I tell you truly, this place would look great in Manhattan. Everything is beautiful, first class. The chef is behind a big glass wall with all shiny chromed tools and appliances. He is slicing meat so thin you could see through it. It is rolled up loosely with about a ½ inch hole in the center, then placed on a serving plate. Lee finishes ordering. In a few moments, a heard of servers approach our table, each with one certain job to accomplish. One takes away the extra settings, one brings 5 small bowls of different liquids and spices, one brings and pours the orange juice we ordered, one removes the upper half of that chrome double pot looking items and lights a very small burner in the bottom, then replaces the upper portion. Something is cooking but I’m not sure what yet. Steam starts to come from the upper part. Lee asks me to remove the lid and place it on the table. It hardly touches the table and someone appears to take it away. I try to notice everything around me. I see that the boiling liquids in our very small chrome pots are different. Mine is milky white and hers is a dark brown color. I asked her why and she told me that hers was spicy hot and she knew I did not like spicy, so mine was not. Smiles all around. Ok, here comes our personal army of servers again…1,2,3,4,5, no, there are 6. each has something in hand. They place the plates, bowls, cups, etc, in perfect exact locations, then leave. I tell Lee that I am at her mercy and I will follow her lead on etiquette. She explains that we have two different types of beef rolled up on these two silver plates. There is also shrimp balls arranged on another silver, smaller plate, adorned beautifully with some greenery. A plate of lettuce, another bowl of another brown liquid each, a small 6 inch empty plate in front of each of us, and by-god, I think we are ready to experience a first class lunch. Lee takes a rolled up piece of beef in her chop sticks and places it into that boiling small pot I mentioned. I copy her exactly. She says that when the beef changes color in about 20-30 seconds, it’s done. Take it from the pot with chop sticks, dip it into that last bowl of brown we were served, then place it on the empty plate in front of me. Seems easy enough, that is except for these chop sticks. Lee tells me I’m getting a lot better using them. I have no choice, it’s either use them or starve. I close my eyes, put that beef in my mouth and I have no idea what to expect. I was very surprised. It was the best beef I ever had. Now I take a piece from the other platter and I’m on my own. Lee is laughing. Wow,,, better then the first. Now a shrimp ball goes into my pot. She tells me these take a little longer, maybe 1-1.5 minutes. These also were great. There is something on a plate I’m almost afraid to ask about. They are white in color, about 1/32 inch diameter and 8-10 inches long, something the size of a shorter spaghetti, but limp. They are grouped together in about 50-75 pieces, bent in horse shoe shape and arranged on another platter. Les tells me there is no English word she knows for this but it’s made from a potato. Potato? How dangerous can that be. I take a bunch in my chop sticks and place them into the pot as Lee does. These too take a little longer. NOW comes the hard part, getting them out of the pot onto my plate. These are very, very slippery now. Lee, the army of servers as well as other customers are enjoying watching me attempt this one. Little by little I get most of them. They do taste good, but I’m still not exactly what it was. Now I’m full. Wait, here come a scout, a single server from our army. He brings a plate of neatly arranges water melon triangular slices. Oops, here comes another. These servers never seem to travel alone. This one has a small dish of unknowns, and another dish of 6 pastry or bread-like objects topped with sesame seeds. A sampling of these and Lee and I are done. A meal like this, in a place like this in America would easily cost $100-$150 for two people. The bill was 120 rmb ($15) and remember, no tipping allowed in China.
Lee tells me we have one more place to go…the super market again. Remember, a super market here is not just food, it’s more like a four story Super Wal-Mart. Once inside, we head up. As usual, everyone stares. We get that elusive bulb I needed for the new lamp I bought for bedside. Then a bucket for mopping, and we look around some. Low and behold, the “shower gods” have smiled on me. We locate shower mattes, both for inside and outside the shower. I’m getting the feeling I may survive my China adventure as that slippery shower thing really had me worrying another taxi to my apartment and we relax a few minutes before Lee has to leave. I walk her down stairs and she shows me her scooter. Looks very similar to the Cushman scooters we used to have in America, just these are a little smaller and run on battery. Looks great and silent. Zero pollution. We say bye for now and she zips off on her scooter.
We went to the real Shaolin Temple today. Unbelievable to say the least. David Carradine was a joke compared to these guys. Lee and her sister picked me up at 8:45am in here sister’s car. She has a new Hyundai, the big one like the Toyota Camry. Very nice. Off we go. It’s supposed to be about an hour drive to the temple. Leaving the city, it’s as crazy as other times. Best thing I can do is hang on, try to not look at what’s going on, and be quiet. If I make too much noise, I may break the driver’s concentration on our life or death journey. As we leave the city I notice the roads start to look more and more like in America. This one is pretty nice. Two lanes each way plus what looks like a nice paved shoulder. Guard rails and landscaped shrubbery divide the two sides. Very nice. There are houses along this road which looks a little strange for a modern highway, in fact, a toll road. After a bit we pull over in front of one of the houses and stop. Lee walks to the door then goes inside. She is in there maybe 10 minutes before returning. She has three small plastic bags in her hand, gets in and off we go again. One of the bags has 4-5 brown steaming eggs I assume are hard boiled . The other bag has three things inside that appear similar to a biscuit, just sized different. They are about ¾ inch thick and 6-7 inched diameter, steaming very hot, clearly just made. A few green teas are in the third bag, room temperature of course. Lee peels one of the hard boiled eggs. Hmmm… the egg itself looks a little stained, not pure white like in all eggs I’ve seen. She tells me it’s tea. The really popular boiled eggs here are boiled, not in water, but in black tea, the regular tea we drink in America. It darkens the shell and adds a slightly different taste to the egg. She takes one of the biscuits and splits it open sandwich-like with her fingers. She places the egg inside, sort of squeezes it to crush the egg and spread it around in my instant egg sandwich, hands me this and a warm green tea, and I have a breakfast just like McDonald’s, except cheaper. This meal cost 3.3 rmb for each of us, approximately 47 cents. No salt or pepper, but the tea adds a little flavor that’s ok. I’m praying this meal doesn’t ruin my 11 days in a row and not using a public toilet. On up the road I start to see more strange vehicles. As we get closer to the temple, we are also much more rural. Trucks loaded to way over max. here goes a farm implement of some sort. Now a two wheeled roto-tiller is attached to a small farm wagon and driven to town at a whopping 3 miles per hour. It’s one cylinder diesel engine making a distinctive “thump thump thump” sound as it chugs along.
We arrive at the temple and try to park. Here comes an employee to talk with the two ladies. He tells us if we eat at the restaurant, we can park for free. I guess we are about to eat here. (come on day 12…public toilet, remember?) the meal was ok. Not bad at all. The next table was watching me closely using chop sticks and made some comments for Lee to hear. They were surprised I was using them as well as I am. I’m surprised myself. I rarely flip food across the room any more. SEE… I am adapting. Did I mention steps?? There are steps every where we go in China, and here is no exception. The restaurant was two flights down stairs, so that means two flights back UP. We start to walk, as I am lead by the ladies. Through a huge “gray” stone pillar sort of gateway. Remember, gray must be the national color. I se what looks like an electric golf cart station wagon transportation area on the left. Lee’s sister looks that way and says something in Chinese to her. I tell them yes, we can ride this thing. Her sister says I’m her new best friend. I agreed quickly after I saw a sing that named several of the places we wanted to go here and there was a distance written next to them. 1000m, 2200m, 4000m…it does not take me long to mentally figure, 1mx39 inches, divided by 3, times 4000 = lets take the cart. This is a big place. at least a 10 minute drive to the other end of the property and we get out and walk. Vendors approach us to buy their wares. First stop is what’s called “The Pagoda Forest”. Here comes the rain. Did I mention it rains a lot here? Everyone says it’s rare, but it is raining….again. lee and her sister have a small collapsing umbrella each. They steer me towards a vendor selling rain jackets that show it fits down to your knees. They ask for a large for me…ha. Seems a large Chinese person is a medium at best, in American. I stopped wearing medium in jr high school. My arm got stuck in the rain jacket sleeve. We all try to share the two tiny umbrellas. After a bit it stops raining and I get some pretty good shots I think. This pagoda forest is actually a cemetery for the past famous Monks that lived here and fought to save their Dynasty for the then current Emperor. The bigger the pagoda, the more famous he was. There over 200 of these here. More walking, and many more steps. It seems the golf cart left us I say. They say, “oh yes, we walk from here back.” I remember those 1000-4000m distances and start to ask myself if I took my one aspirin a day to avoid heart attacks today?
The Shaolin Monks are astounding in their training. They twist, turn and contort their bodies in all shapes. The standard show included in the tour is by the trainees, not the certified Monks themselves. That is never mentioned and few realize this fact. Lee finds a small area where there will be a performance by the actual Monks, but it is additional fee for this. The way Lee is looking at me I think it’s a big fee. She says it’s additional 20 rmb each, that’s $2.50. in we go. The building is pretty large. As we enter I see a stage at the other end and maybe 50 plastic chairs. We go to second row and sit. The floor is dirt. The lighting is very poor. I hope it gets a lot better so I can photo the performance. It begins and I realize the lights I se are IT. Make a quick adjustment to my iso (film speed) and try again. 800 no good, 1600 too slow, I go to my max of 3200 and let it fly. No flash allowed. Very few cameras can go 3200. Finally a little good luck. I am truly amazed at what they do. After the show we walk again. More steps, many more. My legs are moaning. We get to the main temple and it’s at least three big levels of stairs up. This is a very modern performance center building. Cooler air, concession area, lighted stage, etc. we arrive just as the show starts and there are no seats at all. In fact we barley get to stand in back of the crowd. I have to literally hold the camera over the heads of everyone and shoot blind. I sure hope I’m getting some of this. One Monk approaches a thing that is about 6 feet tall. It has a shelf looking area half way up. There is a very noticeable pointed spear looking thing in the center pointed straight up. The Monk climbs up onto the shelf. He prays and readies himself for something he will do shortly. What on earth is he DOING? He lines up the center of his stomach right on the point of the spear. He leans over, then straightens out with his whole body weight on that pointed spear. No death, no blood at all. Here comes another Monk. He has an assistant with two long, bamboo spears with pointed metal tips. The assistant stands on the un-pointed ends placed on the stage, and the spears angle up towards the other Monk 7 feet away. The second Monk places the spear metal points against his throat on either side of his Adam’s apple. He prays, then I see the spears start to flex, to bend. This Monk is pressing his throat harder and harder against the points. The spears flex all the way to touch the floor. I half expected to see a spear come shooting out the back of his neck. The next ones to come out are three Monks together. One has a blue balloon, the next a pain of regular window glass maybe 12 inches square. The third appears to have nothing. They walk around the stage and allow many people to touch the balloon and the glass pain. The third has a regular looking needle in his hand. The fist stands there holding the balloon. The second next to him shielding the balloon with the glass from the third one with the needle.
They all bow slightly and pray, number 1 and 2 presumably for the accuracy of #3. they get ready…number 3 moves so fast you can hardly see him move. Pop, the balloon is broken. Monk #2 walks around and lets many see the tiny hole in the glass from the needle. After the performance it’s, you guessed it, down the stairs and more walking.
Families send their kids here to the Shaolin Temple at a pretty early age, to live and train. They stay here learning Kung Fu and the Monk's lifestyle, schooling and teachings. This place looks like Ft. Benning in Georgia like we train Army Infantry. After we saw all we could and started to leave, we walked past 300-400 kids in a big field training. All were in a uniform, half of them in a red tee shirt with logo and half a white tee with logo, Same pants for all of them. we walked a little more and another field, and another and another, all filled with a few thousand kids. Now I see many more walking towards us in group formations of maybe 50-75 in a group just like the Army does. As they turn the curve in the road ahead, I see another and another. There must have been 15 groups of 75 kids walk/march past. So many. Except for the LOT of walking, I loved it. We get into the car and start back. As we drive through the very small town of Denfeng City , I notice what look like schools with many children of all ages practicing martial arts outside. 1,2,3,4,5…..at least 20 of them. Lee tells me this whole town has many such schools that teach Kung Fu to children that stay here to live and train. This town is like a Super Wal-Mart of Fung Fu training. We are all three very tired as we head back to Zhengzhou. Oops, filled up with pictures again. Click here for part 3. http://www.my-china3.blogspot.com/
This is a continuation of part 1 & 2. I am limited as to the number of pictures on each blog, that's why 2,3,etc. Thanks for understanding, now on with the show.

More images from the Shaolin Temple. These images are not a fraction of the actual experience, that must be seen to be believed. I hope you enjoy them. Each Pagoda here is a burial tomb for a famous Shaolin Monk. The bigger the Pagoda, the more important he was.

I thought you might like to hear about the heating system here in Zhengzhou for homes and apartments. They have steam heat here. Everyone does. No electric heat, no forced air heat, just steam heat. It sounds like many homes in America, at least in the bigger cities still do. China has an added twist on the heat system. All the steam comes from one location. Yup, all the people in this multi-million population city has heat from the ONE company. Can you guess who the company is owned by? Con-Ed? Nope. Florida Power? Wrong again. It's the Chinese government. More twists...there are no thermostats in any of these homes. They have no control of the temperature at all. They can’t make it warmer or cooler, in fact they can’t even say when it turns on or off, it’s all government controlled. That’s a big change from my home.

Lee and I went to dinner tonight. Her choice I said. I have to be fair. I told her as long as she honored my “cannot/will not do” list she’s ok. In case you forgot, my list includes:
Fish heads, chicken heads, chicken feet, anything that barks or meows, not spicy hot and never anything alive. She picked one and off we go in one of these way-too-small for my body taxis. It looks good from outside. Clean and modern looking. We enter and are warmly greeted and escorted to our table, a very stout wooden table with sawed and varnished tree trunks, sort of like an old west flair. Lee orders. Here comes a big bowl. It seems the manager has taken a liking to me and has offered a free bowl of…of…food I think. It looks like instant mashed potatoes covered in pancake syrup with assorted veggies thrown in. Lee assures me its not on my list. Next out was a plate that looked a little like a big sea shell. Lee explains that this is wild peppermint leaves with walnuts. I have some. Not too bad. It’s one of Lee’s favorites so I eat a few more. These last two plates of food are so healthy they have to be in the negative calories. Here comes round three. A plate with a round pinkish item 1/1/2 inches across, sliced 1/8in thick and arranged nicely on the plate. There are a few square looking items inside the pink things. It looks a little like a sliced sausage with maybe a little too much fat content. I try one, with chop sticks of course. Not too bad. Not like any sausage I ever had, but ok. Lee is smiling so I get a strong feeling I’m in trouble. I look at her and just say “list”? She says no, so I can swallow now. She explains this is a lotus flower. It looks like no flower I ever saw, so I thought it was some sort of Asian cutesy name of some kind. Seems I was wrong and Lee was right. This was part of the “root” of the lotus flower that grows in lakes. The strange factor just keeps adding up tonight.

Today was haircut day. My first one in China. Lee wanted to take me to her place, it’s supposed to be one of the best salons in Zhengzhou. We walked in at our appointment time. I was promptly placed in a maroon salon robe, one that did not fit me too well. A young lady took my arm and escorted me to a shampoo area. I sat and she leaned me back. I have to say, this my first time at something like this. I’ve always been a regular barber shop in and out guy. Ok, I feel the warm water now. Hmmm…this feels good. Now shampoo and a scalp massage, a real nice one. Now rinse, then shampoo again. I can definitely get used to this. I love these scalp massages. Ok, now I’m up and wrapped in a big towel all around my head. I bet it looks dorky. I’m escorted to a chair where the stylist will try to work his magic. This guy has a leather pouch slung across his shoulder something like a shoulder holster in a Dirty Harry movie. Several scissors, hair clips, brush, etc. Nothing electric here other then the dryer. He does his cutting/styling and in 10-15 minutes he stops. Guess what’s next? Back to the shampoo area. Another shampoo and scalp massage. Another towel and I’m back to the stylist’s chair for final touches. He gets his dryer going and snips every single loose hair he sees. Lee is getting the same treatment right next to me. I’m finished a little before Lee is. I see another lady across from me getting her scalp massage in the stylist’s chair as they talk hair things I guess. It looks so good, I have to take a picture. I later find out her name is Angel and she would like me to email her a copy of her picture, and I agree. Lee finishes and she looks great. She had them add a few curls. I like them a lot. She looks beautiful. We go to pay at the counter and Lee insists it’s her treat. I see her pay 44 rmb for us both. Remember, no tipping in China. 44 divide by 2=22 divided by 8 (currency exchange rate) = $2.75. Not too bad for the best in town. Lee tells me a shampoo and cut at other places can be as low as 4-5 rmb. That’s about 60 cents. The barber I used in Orlando for years was $12 cut n go. Pretty good experience.

Today was Mahjong and noodles day. I wanted to see if I could spot some friendly locals playing Mahjong on the street as I went for my trip to my contact for instant noodles. I get them from him cheaper and for the same product, then in the Super Market. Neither one of us speaks the other language, but we manage to get the point across. I walk into the market near my apartment, the REALLY big one. It has to be ½ mile by 1 ½ miles at least. I walk up the alley my noodle guy is on and here comes the stares and smiles. Up ahead a little I see a small group huddled together over a very small improvised table of sorts and 4 real small seats. I gesture with my camera towards the Mahjong board. One lady jumps up and runs behind me out of camera view, while all the others smile and nod their approval. This has to be the milder game…no money showing, no yelling, etc. I take a few pictures and someone offers me one of those really small seats to sit and watch a while. I say a few quick prayers that I do not crush their little chair flat to the ground. I ease onto the seat. I hear a little moaning, not sure if it was from the seat being maxed out or the person on my right that appears to have just lost. A few more pictures, and I’m back on my journey for the lost noodles. I rarely go anywhere alone, usually with Lee, but not today. I feel sort of like half of the Lewis and Clark expedition, traversing the unknown. Ok, I think I see my noodle guy’s place ahead. Looks like it but there is a woman outside. As I get closer, I see him resting inside. He looks at me a moment, then recognizes me and jumps to his feet to greet me. I try to remind him I do not want spicy hot ones. He grabs a bag and we start to rummage through them for the lost, perfect noodles I’m searching for. About 2-3 minutes looking and we decide on four packages of them. He loads them in a bag and he waits for his money from me. I reach into my pocket for my bargaining note pad and pen. No bargaining here today. I did that last time and he remembers. I pay 2.5 rmb each, as I did before. That was a good, fair deal. He tries to hand me the noodles, but I refuse and he is stunned. I gesture I want him to stand by his noodle rack so I can take his picture. He shied away, but the lady that was there immediately dragged him to the spot I wanted him in. I’m guessing it was his wife.
I start to walk back the way I came by following the breadcrumbs I dropped. (kidding, but it did cross my mind) I hear a woman call out loud and proud…”hello, how are you”? It was clear English so I had to turn and look. There was a big smile on the face of this woman in her store. She was so proud of her English. I was too. I walked her way and had to take her picture she was so friendly. I looked at the containers stacked all over in her store. I could not be sure it she was selling paint, or baby formula. The containers looked a little like either. No one here sends ME to the store alone until I learn more Chinese. A little farther and I come across another group playing Mahjong . My highly observant mind caught the flash of money. Gambling. Ahaa a cut-throat game. Three women and one man playing. Much nicer looking game pieces. I think I have just stumbled on Zhengzhou’s “The Strip” like in Las Vegas, but the casinos are a little more humble looking. Soon as one saw I was a foreigner, all looked at me and said Ni hau (spelling?) for hello. I stood and took a few shots. No one ran. After a few minutes someone here offered me one of those really small Mahjong seats like I had before. Another hail Mary, a quick prayer and one “father wherefore art thou?” and I sat. it held. Whew !! a woman approached holding a small baby maybe one year old. I have just noticed a pattern I was ignoring until now, especially when we were in some stores shopping. It seems it’s perfectly acceptable to tote, carry, push, pull or whatever…your baby with no bottoms on at all. No pants, no diaper, nothing. It just took me a few seconds thinking to imagine what happens at that time. It seems, if he/she has to go, well go it is. Another place for my Chinese driving rule “anywhere any time”. Same for babies I guess. It must save a lot on diapers. A few mahjong tiles thrown on the table, a few rmb exchanging hands between players, a few pictures of kids and players and I’m on my way again. It’s hot. Hot only like 88-90, but humidity says 80% and weather person says it feels like 104. I whole heartedly agree. It’s back to my apartment and the ac there. Here is a “less upscale” business venture I passed walking back home.

written by

Joseph411 on November 9, 2009 from Orlando, United States

from the travel blog: China

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