In pure honesty, I'm not really sad about this. You'd expect me to be sad, right? Well, no. Maybe I'm just being a good little "trooper," but this realization wasn't a sad one. But since I can't see anyone describing me as a "good little trooper," and you probably know that, I should explain this point. :)

Some of you already know that I've had a really hard time here. Depression, illness, unhappiness, what have you. I took it pretty well, or as well as I could. I mean, I'm in Barcelona -- I'm not going to spend all of my time feeling sorry for myself! So as I leave, I'm glad to be going because I feel like I'm finally getting away from all the (for lack of a better word) crap that plagued me but I don't want anyone to think that I hate this place. No. I think Barcelona is a fantastic city. You should visit it, if you haven't already. And if you have, you should visit it again because I promise you its changed! It's a city I could never live in, but its definitely a place I'd like to come back and visit (like, when the Sagrada Familia is finished?)

So, I made the decision to come back in the beginning of February, and just in time too, as that was when classes were being chosen for spring term. Maybe you'll find this interesting, or maybe you won't, but the hardest part about getting everything sorted out to come home was convincing people that I was doing it for a reason others deemed "acceptable." I have been in the "all my byself" camp since I first became vocal, so you can imagine how much I appreciated being clotheslined by that nasty little surprise. The decision was hard enough, I don't need everyone else passing judgement on it and I'm not going to change my mind just because you said so... sigh... suffice it to say that I can talk for a long time about the expectations -- both acknowledged and assumed -- that are associated with studying abroad. (And I don't suggest you do this unless you really, really want to know.) Unfortunately, I have to admit that I would have rather experienced the nuances of being a study abroad student in a different way, but what can you do? Experience is experience, and I'm just hoping that I'm better off for it.

Being criticized for wanting to come home early made me wary of yelling my news from the rooftops, so to speak, so please don't be offended if I didn't tell you I was coming back. Very few people knew, and I would have kept it that way, but people talk and well, as one person told me, "the cat is out of the bag." Sums it up rather well, I think.

So, here I am, still in Barcelona. Its been cold here these last couple of days, but given that I was on the beach on Saturday and my family is probably still slogging through icy, grey slush, I'm not to the point of complaining. I have my final exams next week, (if you've read about my experience with last term's finals, you should know that these are looking much more daunting) on March 12th and 13th. I have until the 16th to get my fill of Barcelona, the people in it, and to purge my belongings of stuff I can't fit in my luggage because on the morning of the 17th, I fly to Paris! :) I have 5 days in the City of Lights and the sneaking suspicion that my experience there will give me reason to call it the City of Croissants. (I'm very excited about the prospect of unchecked overindulgence in French baked goods.) But don't worry, I'll do all the other touristy things that are basically required of a trip to Paris. I will crawl into BCN again on the 21st, very late at night and probably exhausted. But I'll only be able to sleep until noon (no later!) because I have three extremely important tasks:
1. unpack from Paris and re-pack for home
2. finish last-minute errands (gifts, things I wanted to take pictures of, etc)
3. say goodbye!

After all of that, I have to be ready to leave at 6am for the airport. I'll fly from BCN to Zurich, and then onto Chicago. Counting from the time I leave my apartment in BCN to the time I will probably arrive at home, I will have been traveling for 22 hours. Here's hoping I manage to sleep on the plane!

written by  achavero on March 6, 2008 from Barcelona, Spain
from the travel blog: Amanda in Barcelona
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So I'm finally coming out that, aided by a whole new set of things to distract me and worry about. My classes look like they'll be amazing this term, for one thing. Here's what I'm taking (and why!):
1. Syntax and Composition 2: so maybe I'll learn how to use the evil subjunctive tense.
2. Don Quixote: its a literature class taught by my Contemporary Spain professor from last term, Professor Reyes. I haven't actually cracked the spine on my copy yet, but its high up on the to-do list. I'm pretty excited about this class but that's mostly just because the professor is. On the first day, he used an imaginary sword to lop off the heads of a 28-headed dragon to make a point. Point made. And how! :)
3. History of Spain 2: I don't need this class, but I adore the professor. I learned a lot from him, and I've always liked history. I've been lucky to have some really great history teachers -- in both high school and in college. Besides, his class gives me a context in which to place Spanish culture.
4. 20th Century Latin American Literature: This is the hardest class I'm taking, by far, because it is a) one of the key requirements for my as-yet-undeclared Spanish major and b) taught by Professor Tim Foster, the director of the Barcelona Program (the one I'm participating in). Tim is a really cool guy, but he isn't totally gung-ho about teaching this class and has thus made it almost as inconvenient and difficult as possible. Class is at 8:30 am on Mondays and 1 pm on Thursdays, and for the first day of class (which was yesterday) we had to have already read the first book and written a 3-5 page essay that analyzed some formal aspect of the story (ie, symbolism). Guh. But you know what, I sucked it up and did it because I really want to get this class out of the way.

So, as of right now, I have homework in three of those four classes. Grammar worksheets from Syntax, and 50 pages or so from both Don Quixote and Tim's lit class. It's good for me, I tell myself. At the very least, all my free time from last term is now filled with purpose -- I'm either purposefully doing my work or I'm purposely avoiding it.

What else... I am joining a gym as soon as my running shoes get here. :) When I was packing to come back to BCN, I had to decide between my running shoes and chocolate. It was an agonizing moment, but I went with the chocolate and Mom graciously agreed to ship my shoes to me (with more chocolate - heh). I figured I could get one last go at being a lazy, chocolate-binging bum and then by the time my running shoes turned up I would be ready to start working out again. As it turns out, I know myself pretty well. I've researched gyms in Barcelona, and I found a really nice one just 2.5 blocks away from my apartment.

Another new development since I've returned is my decision to commit to finding a job. I'm not legally allowed to work since I'm here on a student visa, but I can do things like babysit or "teach english," which is really just babysitting with more of a purpose. I have just barely enough saved up to get by not working, but I'd have to adhere to a bare-bones kind of budget, which just... sucks. It's what I've been doing, and I feel like there's a lot in Barcelona that I'm not doing because I dont want to pay that much money. This fact directly offends my philosophy that I don't need to spend a lot of money to have fun, but... it has proven itself to be valid. True, I don't have to spend a ton of money to have fun, but there are things I want to do here that involve spending more money than I can afford to. So... I get a job. Problem solved. :)

Alright, I guess that's it. Fortunately, I can get free wireless access from my apartment, so that's how I've been able to write this. It's made my life a lot more convenient. Now, I'm going to eat some lunch and then resort to my new favorite way to procrastinate: watching the Venture Brothers episodes. It's pure genius. Think like, Johnny Quest gone all wrong and thus, hilarity ensues.

And then maybe after that I'll do something about that undeclared double major.

written by  achavero on January 18, 2008 from Barcelona, Spain
from the travel blog: Amanda in Barcelona
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Why doesn't the United States have nationalized health care???

written by  achavero on January 11, 2008 from Barcelona, Spain
from the travel blog: Amanda in Barcelona
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Where was I if I wasn´t in Barcelona, then? In the United States. I went home for Christmas. Most of you already know this. It was a great time -- Christmas with the family was fantastic, the food was comforting, my friends were happy to see me, and the wastefulness of American society was disturbing. So everything was exactly as I expected it to be. :)

Today was the first day of classes, but I didn´t have any. Not today. I ran a few errands and caught up with people I haven´t seen in a really long time instead. Now, I´m just gearing myself up to buy a metro card and go home. I´m exhausted. The price of the metro went up, much to my dismay. I just filled out an application to be a babysitter... we´ll see how this turns out. Best case scenario, it will help my financial situation, which is truly dismal at this point.

Crap.

written by  achavero on January 9, 2008 from Barcelona, Spain
from the travel blog: Amanda in Barcelona
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No, really. I've done some really cool things and I am going to be doing some laundry after this, so all's well. Let's see, what happened after Sevilla... Cordoba, Toledo, and a few random stops for lunch: Merida and Caceres. Checked out the Mezquita... I refer to it as the Muslim Vatican. Other than that, I really don't have a lot to say. I mean, I've done a lot, I just don't know how to talk about it. I guess the other major things I've done included a 3.5 hour session of forcing fine art upon myself in the Prado Museum and thanks to those three hour death marches, I've walked the halls of the Royal Palace in Madrid, numerous other cathedrals, a couple of synagogues and El Escorial, where I hung out in the crypt that holds most of the Spanish royal family.

Honestly, I'm done. I've been done. But now I'm really, really done. Tomorrow, we are trooping out to Segovia to see the Roman aqueduct, then on Saturday, we have an 8 hour bus ride to Barcelona. Thankfully, we will be stopping in Zaragoza to eat lunch and "stretch our legs," which is code for "walk around yet another cathedral." We should be rolling into Barcelona around 9 pm, give or take an hour. THEN, I get to unpack my suitcase, eat, shower, repack my suitcase, catch a few hours of sleep and then leave in the wee hours for the airport to travel back in time.

The plan is to go from Barcelona to Atlanta, then from ATL to Chicago. Where does the time travel come in? Well, I leave BCN at 10:40 am, and should be in ATL by 3 pm-ish even though I'm definitely going to be stuck on that plane for 10 hours. Since the extent of my math whiz abilities stops at balancing my checkbook and splitting the bill at lunch, I'm not going to think about it too much and just take Delta Airlines at their word. If everything goes as planned, I should be in Chicago by 8 pm on Saturday. However, I keep hearing about ice storms happening in Chicago and at home, so I'm really pulling for some good luck to get me to the States again, in one piece and on time.

written by  achavero on December 13, 2007 from Madrid, Spain
from the travel blog: Amanda in Barcelona
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The last six days have certainly been a whirlwind... I’ve been in at least one new city every day. Today I am in Sevilla. I’ve also been spotted in Valencia, Guadix, Peniscola, Ronda, Granada, Arcos de la Frontera, Jerez de la Frontera. I feel like a Where’s Waldo character. Wait, no, more like Carmen Sandiego. You know... “Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?” Yeah... a continent-hopping woman of mystery and intrigue, dressed in red, and with an inappropriately sultry voice for a children’s show... well... maybe I’m not cut out to be Carmen either, but at least she’s better dressed than Waldo.

And, just as I suspected, I’m quickly tiring of this trip. I am just tourist-ed out. Really. The “walking tours” of the various sights are starting to feel more like death marches. I can’t even tell you how many palaces, cathedrals, parks, government buildings, curiosities and other oddities I’ve seen. I am just disillusioned. Jaded. And I’m not alone. Yes, this is a GREAT opportunity, I know. I know. Don’t tell me. Because if you tell me, I’m going to lecture you on the differences between 14th, 15th and 16th century cupolas in cathedrals. Trust me, you don’t want that.

written by  achavero on December 6, 2007 from Sevilla, Spain
from the travel blog: Amanda in Barcelona
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Barcelona – Peñíscola – Valencia – Guadix – Granada – Ronda –Arcos de la Frontera - Jerez de la Frontera – Sevilla – Córdoba – Cáceres – Toledo – Madrid – Segovia – Zaragoza – Barcelona

Fun fact? We change hotels 9 (NINE!) times in 14 days.

I´m going to be so sick of everyone on this trip. I´m not even being mean about it. Its just... group dynamics. This trip is organized by the Knox Program as a part of the study abroad experience. Yes, that is amazingly cool. While I´m both excited about this trip and happy about the group of people that I´m traveling with, I can´t lie about the trepidation I have over spending countless hours on a bus with these same people... or eating meal after meal with all of them... or being herded around the city from one photo op to the next. I just can´t get excited about that. Sorry. But it will be worth it. I know it will. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

3. Today is me doing all the little things I needed to do a week ago but didn´t get around to it. This blog post, returning books to the library, cleaning off pictures on my camera, replying to emails, etc. Then I need to pack, clean my room and go to bed early because my tomorrow starts at 5:30AM.

I feel like I should apologize for not being very perky lately. Since my hair has reached "long-ish" status, I feel like I´ve been a more serious person. No minimal-effort, messy ponytails for Amanda, oh no. European women wear their hair down and are to be taken seriously so of course, I do the same.
And when I´m on the bus, I have the tendency to zone out. I picked this up from fellow bus-riders, and rather quickly at that. While there are advantages to this habit, it also means that I catch myself frowning. Not a very happy, perky thing to do. Then I look around me and see all the old women wearing the same expression and I smile in an attempt to counteract the wrinkles I´m getting a head start on, if their own countless wrinkles are statements to the same fact. What are the advantages, then? First, there is no better way to get over the simple fact that you are hemmed in by too many people. Secondly, and more importantly, by zoning out you can be unconcious of the fact that the bus driver has narrowly avoided at least a dozen accidents in the 20 minutes you´ve been a passenger. I paid attention to how the drivers navigate the streets only twice and both times I exited the moving box of near-death experiences I could feel my heart beating in my throat.
All that aside, I´m not really in a bad mood... I´m just... not happy. I guess I´m not unhappy either, though. I don´t really know for sure. I just don´t feel like I have anything to get really excited about. I say I´m all about this upcoming trip, but even as I say that and really feel it, I can´t summon up a convincing smile to go along with it. I´m just... serious. And I don´t really like it.

written by  achavero on November 30, 2007 from Barcelona, Spain
from the travel blog: Amanda in Barcelona
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The weather is no longer "sunny and 60," by the way. More like grey, humid and 40. It wants to rain but its too lazy. My brain feels dilated... thoughts take longer to develop. I don´t want to do anything except bum around in sweatpants and eat chocolate. Unfortunately, that is not an option because I have final exams next Monday-Thursday, then I have to pack for "el gran viaje" on Friday, and on Saturday morning, the two week trip around southern Spain commences. So hot pink nails haven´t made the weather better, but they have been serving as a reminder that I won´t have these neutral, uninteresting days for much longer. It also makes for a great contrast in my wardrobe. I´ve been wearing a lot of black and brown and grey lately... you have to understand though, it´s very "euro".
I would say that my euro-makeover must be nearly complete. I´ve learned the trick: ignore the idea that black clothes and brown accessories don´t really "go" together and just see any neutral, dark color as a base from which you accessorize with whatever obnoxiously bright thing you can get your hands on. And wear layers. And look haughty and disinterested (thus, chic) about it.

Funny europeans.

And hot pink nails haven´t made the papers easier to write, it hasn´t improved the dollar-euro exchange rate, and my use of the subjunctive tense of Spanish verbs is still nonexistent, but its a happy color, and for the moments that I take to notice how ridiculously bright and cheery they are amidst all the grey and grime of the city, I´m entertained.

written by  achavero on November 23, 2007 from Barcelona, Spain
from the travel blog: Amanda in Barcelona
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However, I´ll be liberated after 4:30 because I´m going to go to the Bodies Exhibit at one of the many museums in BCN. It´s a pretty pricey exhibit -- 15 euros for students (roughly 25 dollars), but my host mother got free tickets to it and she gave them to me because she was too creeped out by the idea of seeing dissected bodies on display.
____________________________________________________________________________

Okay, so I wrote that yesterday, but never posted it. Tricky, I know. I thought about trashing it, but keeping it saves me time by not having to (re)write an explanation.

So, I didn´t get anything else done with the paper. I decided two pages in three hours was sufficient for a first effort. What took the longest was translating it into Spanish! I just saved what I had, ate lunch and then walked down Las Ramblas to the Drassanes Reials Museum for the exhibition. It was... interesting. I was afraid that maybe I wouldn´t be able to handle it, seeing bodies that at one point walked and talked, etc., etc. but it wasn´t an issue. They start you out slow, with some bones. Smart thinking. Everyone has seen a bone, most of us have broken one or two. So that was okay. Then they show you an entire skeleton, then a skeleton and the tendons, a skeleton with the tendons and the major muscle groups, and so on until you get to the one female in the entire exhibition and she has pretty much every part of her intact, sans skin, of course. Wow, talking about this is really strange. I guess its just one of those things you have to see for yourself. I don´t know who sponsored the exhibit, but they definitely have an agenda. There is a section about the digestive and respiratory systems and they show you a diseased organ next to a healthy one and talk about how not smoking and avoiding fatty foods will save your life. Yes, I believe those things to be true but I didn´t come to this exhibit to be scared into living a healthier life. To each their own, I suppose. And I´m sure that there are many people who need just that sort of experience to change their lives around. It´s probably better to see how it happened to someone else than to actually have to experience it yourself, so I´ll give them credit for trying to educate the masses.

And today? I slept in, made my way over to the library. I have to leave soon though, as its only open from 11 to 2 on Saturday. Yes, I think that that is ridiculous. And yes, I´ve started excusing things I find to be absurdly inconvenient by saying, "Well, it IS Spain, after all." I´ve also noticed that I finally understand the Spanish sense of time. Everything in Barcelona takes 20 minutes to get to, no matter how far away it seems. The trick is how you are getting there -- walking, metro, bus, etc -- and how quickly you are willing to move. These Spaniards... they´re crafty.

written by  achavero on November 17, 2007 from Barcelona, Spain
from the travel blog: Amanda in Barcelona
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