Lynds and Kats red-carpet-tour of Australia - lynds-n-kat

lynds - a little tipsy and a bit bored

lynds-n-kat — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT

mooooorning all!

how are you doing? no really, i mean it....how the fuck is everyone, as since this whole blog thingy-me-jiggy began, nobody seems to email us anymore. Yes, you Nottingham types, i wont name names, its rude and degrading, blunt and unnecessary....all of dem tings i am not ( :) )............so this is my request for some comments please. if you are reading this, which obviously you are, please 'make a comment'.....in form of little Orange button pressing and typing. let us know how your doing, if your alive and how the bloody weather is.
thats all
still in Sydney
started job
went to a jazz brazilian festival thing tonight
was awesome
now going to bed
kat says hi
probably
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
this has been lynds, over n out

so i wasn't concentrating and.....

lynds-n-kat — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT

well hello chappies!!

so the day started out farily un eventful and normal. tea sit in lounge and pilfer internet from unsuspecting neighbours.

lynds: think i might just read book all day as have nothing else to do
kat: gonna go internet job hunting ness and email a few cv i think...

four hours and two very forged signatures later me and lynds are driving back from Sydney international airport in Toyota camry that is now ours and a hand written receipt from farrel saying i bought the car from him for $500. this is not true.

still a little unsure on how this happened one of those wasn't concentrating enough on job in hand senarios-meant to get a job to day but got a car.....never mind this sometimes happens....

i blame veg and farrel.. actually it IS their fault for leaving without selling it.

nothing else to report apart from we are settling well and the Sydney roads are confusing to drive with the lack of signs and lack of ability to drive 14 yr old ghostbuster stylee through crounds of people.

bob bye
xxxxxxxxx

lynds starts work tomorrow yey for her!!!!!!!!!

Sydney sitting

lynds-n-kat — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT

so.....

so far we have been wandering the street of Sydney. is beautiful and not as big as you think if you ignore massive amount of water in the middle bit.

have been abstaingin from alcohol since new year due to bank balance and general fatigue. although are going on big explore of darlin harbour tonight.

Surry hills where we live is beautiful. it also has about 4.3 vintage shops to each person living here so me and lynds are in element and are heavenly wandering into places and buying things of the basis that we could where them for interviews (if i ever get any).

job hunting is going slow but have been frequenting the local golf course on runs as i still don't really know where we are in respect to anywhere and never seem to find centenial park to run in and just hole number 8 every time.

runs are histerical for all around me and yet again i find people run at me when i run although the fact i'm in lynds' blue flower pj shorts and no shoes may be the reason and not flayling run style.

we have spent 60% of time on sofa this week and watching massively shit tv. and also awaiting the return of neighbours on monday. lynds has found job!!!!! yey!!!!!!!! and i have found somewhere to do capoeira!!!!! yey!!!! (priorites like the planets will align in time....)

so here we are in sunny Sydney wishing we had money to go out more, go to the Sydney arts festival events and re pruchase new retro/vintage wardrobe now that we are out of hostels and into flat.

until then we sit in Sydney waiting for life to start happening in work/money momentum of new year pick up that will happen after sleepy slump post xmas-new year festivities.

well will go out tonight with flat mates. trying to avoid pre going out goon drinking and see what other fun we can find

much huggles
kat
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Happy happy new year!!

lynds-n-kat — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Hi Kids

HAPPY NEW YEAR, AND CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!

wwwwwoooop woooppppppp!!!!

err, not really done much of late, but have missed this diary-like-offload-of-emotions so i am going to tell ya'll just what i have not been doing.

Xmas was fab, we were in Bris-Vegas with a friend of mine Bell-Ender and her family Pagano....a vast and expanding collection of Italians. We ate a lot of Shrimps (well i did, kady cant because it make her face go like Lesley Ash, tried to make her for comical value but to no avail), a lot of potato salad, i finally got to wear my special red dress id been saving for xmas day (yes like a poor deprived child),

we got new flip-flops, and new tea cups with pink tassles on (not so good for washing up), and went on large charity shop hunt, and it was all grande and festive (sortof) and marvellous in a very hot way. oh and we also got stubby holders. which are amazing.

then we met our good friend Tony who ive known for years (subconciously but recently reaquainted on the internet) who kindly gave us a lift down to Sydney (for free, woooooooooooooooooooooooooop) stopping for a night in Port Macquarie to camp, in a tent large enough to contend the Taj Mahal, whilst wearing pretty much all my clothes. It was fucking cold, and we had a 'fucking lying Australia' moment (also happens at such times as rain, distinct lack of spiders present, small kangaroos and ugly men).

anyhooo....i digress....

Now we are in Sydney. would love to tell you about new year but i cant remember...
(jokes but see below)

have since got very comfy on the sofa and become aquainted with SHIT Australian television (of which 90% seems to be american cop shows anyway) and more than annoying Australian adverts (of which 100% are along the lines of Sheilas Wheels). Still are a it homeless, kindof, but have this current abode until february when they will kick us out. yay!

Tis a loevly area, though vaguely reminiscent of downtown Rio (kindof, i know what i mean), and there are MILLIONS OF VINTAGE SHOPS lining the main road. which you can imagine i am devastated about.

anyhoo, rambling....oh and i got a job, woop, had interview today in shiny white office, where everything was all shiny and white and clicky on floor...and got job. yay!
no im not talented, i have contacts. kat is well underway getting hers, watch this space....

ciao for now.....over and out

lynds (and kat next to me being grown up doing job stuff)

new year!!!!

lynds-n-kat — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Happy New year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Ok we have been massively rubbish and not blogged for ages. been a little road tripping and busy busy.

Back in Sydney now in surry hills kinda area is nice to have place to reside in permenance( well till feb)

had new years on beach in the harbour with the fireworks and randoms and stuff. was awesome view

our view of the bridge at new year

and our last night of goon drinking as really is time to grow up and not be scallies with a penchant for all things scuzzy and rolling around in mess in the sand. really now we were all a ge-rim site by seven in the evening.

me and kat....

kat ruining a perfectly nice photo of me and someone i cant remember

cheeky though- there was no count down and suddenly there were fireworks

sydney harbour bridge fireworks

me and lynds got emotional and five hours of our life were somewhere. some umpa lumpas turned up and moved us from drowning and suddenly we were in a Field..... somewhere... ah what more could you want for new years?

happy new year...wooppp woooooooooop!

few mysteries now remain:
just how did we get home.
where we gonna move into.
where we gonna work.
doing what.
how long we will be here.

not much. should be a sinch.

much love and hugs hope you all had an awesome new years. we were thinking of you all (i think)

kat and lynds (hungover)

1st of January 2007. Fucking Gross

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

....in addition to artform of sitting

lynds-n-kat — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

lynds is quite accurate with depiction of time in airlie. am just gonna add a few words that were missed.
(some i wonder are supposed to stay out of first draft so just a run down)

-chris and chirs's flat and wine
-scuba diving great barrier with speed boat complete with duran duran style sunbathing deck
-snakes in the bushes
-possums in the trees
-certain sprinklers. at certain times. with certain alcohol volumes.
-mama africa's strange infusion of house and 'urban electronica' for sure
-use of beaches out of daylight hours
-clanceys (best pie shop in the world)
-that shower

magnums rules. so good we checked in three times. we love airlie it's our home.

birds from the jurassic and sweaty, sweaty times

lynds-n-kat — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

shiney shiney jewel of the tropics, magnetic island is a strange island that i think they based the idea for lost on.

we were very confused on arrival to our near deserted 'magnums on magnetic' hostel. apparently the full moon party had seen everyone off. this still left us confused and i think the hours sleep and still drunk state we arrived in did no help.

first bus journey we didn't fall asleep on and first bus journey where kat was at utter loss at how to get the credit card into the jar of vegimite and onto the bread reminiscent of square block round hole game you play as a child..... ah how we gave thanks to the beer and goon for providing fits of still drunk histerics on this journet which culminated in a place not unlike the industrial hells of england and eating of pie. a lot of pie while we waited for the ferry which would ship us to the magnetic or 'old maggies' as the more than locals term it.

after assessing total lack of people on the island apart from the brother and sister we met in coffs that 7 weeks on we still have nothing to say to them. still. we sat out the firrst night round the front of weird leisure centre barracks style bar with locals glen and friends and weird birds from the prehistoric era that like to come with in a meter of you. pause. contemplate their right to your seat. open there wing span (disturdingly large for what seems like t.rex little flightless brother) and screech. no fun and shoking.

was explained that these exist no where else in the world which we thought was very ooooohhhhh and ahhhhh at the time but has proven to be bollocks, as prehistoric kate moss is evreywhere.

was fun and even had a little my country is better than yours 'discussion' which me and lynds were bound to fail as it was via animals and general diversity of life as special subject. as special as we got was badger and squirrel. they won hands down with seacow. yes a cow in the sea that eats the grass. (no we really didn't get it either) but htey could have won with some ugle little domestic rodent that has two belly buttons and can fandango lets face it the wildlife here is so weird i wouldn't have contested it.

next day in blistering heat we thought it applicable to go on six hour trek through bush.
this is not an advisable outting for said weather as we, our clothes, and the other people who happen upon our sweaty and delirious beings can back up.

was beautiful and we spent the day posing in postcard pics. pretending to be in the army and arguing over who should go first after seeing the signs saying ' be snake aware'

its the money shot :) magnetic island

not half as energetic as we look....magnetic island....long trek

that's nice. now i'm aware of them. what exactly do i do about it. oh yeah, manage to get lynds to lead each time in oh look at that view fake scenarios.

she keeps doing this to me

she soon cottoned on though. bare foot half naked and with shouts of why why with the hills. we found our way from strange sofa liek ruins, eventually to many beautiful bays and massive bowl of chips. can't take british out of the girls etc...

that evening we sat out on our beach. yes you heard right. and watched the sunset and unloaded all anguish about everything (architecture rah rah rah rah die ruthreford die, there is a war. lyndsey verses every fly alive, is serious though, i think she means it and seriously funny to see the fury rage and the rath unleashed) watched stars and thought of you all at home and pondered what you may be doing. as the northern most point of our journey, well for now, magnetic did have something truely magical and memorable for us apart from seering heat, strange birds and drunken weird locals.

had to face awayt. 7 hours walking. you dont wanna see the front

.....it had raviolli no i'm kidding, was fantastic place. and had an awesome bus service too, as we found on the last day. sod. law of.

The Art Form Of Sitting

lynds-n-kat — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

hello kids far and wide,

so it would appear on looking back at the last few weeks that besides my (highly amusin) koala joke, i havent written on this thing for ages. which means we have no track record of anything weve done besides kadys non-sensical torret-like ramblings. super.

well.....in the short time that we have been absent, me and kat have become fucking lazy. yeeeeah sure, we drove round a sandy island and suuuure we winched some sails on boat and ran a bit on the beach (nooo have done that for a while), did a bit of diving and swimming and shit. but now it would appear that the goon (Australias answer to lambrini) has finally kicked in on the ammune system, and all we can do is sit.

the precise location of the sitting varies from time to time, location to location, and every now and then differs in company. Obviously to avoid extreme sunburn and sunstroke we have to shift position in a westerly direction hourly, but the exertion of that is compensated for by another hour of sitting.

since returning from the good (though vomitful) ship boomerang, we have learnt of this very nice place called 'the lagoon'....location: Airlie Beach, on the street, behind the supermarket.

the beloved lagoon...

the lagoon (which if you are super clever you can remove the first two letters and find another form of liquid we spend a lot of time with) is a large public water type thing, where we have spent many an hour sitting (or lurking) in the shallows with a motley collection of people (ok, boys).

da motley crew. cute arent they?

when i say motley collection i mean a bunch of traveller types from london (saaaaaaaaauffff innit), auberry Australia (yeah, i dont know either), Sydney and Ireland who are only travelling together coz noone else wants them. but many many a laughter moment whilst migating between 'in' lagoon and 'out of' lagoon. the days are hard.
broken by the odd ice coffee from said supermarket, but little else

evening time approaches and the maximum amount of movement is undertaken: the great migration from lagoon to hostel terrace.

welcome to the jungle that is magnums!!!!

this involves the enormous task of crossing the road (keeping my eyes diverted away from neighbouring and ever present pie shop), walking up three steps, through bar with again ever-present man-on-guitar-pissing-all-off-by-blocking-view-of-cricket-on-telly (apart from me and kat coz we couldt give a shit), thrrrrrooough the jungle that is magnums hostel (remembering to keep left or you will get lost, no lie)....and to the terrace of small hut like room. and thats where we sit with loud and lairy london boys, insane irish, life-confused australian until the time should come to return once more to lagoon (after sleep)

terrace. home to many a sit.

and that is the average day and how it has been for....shit i cant even remember.

however, the time came (in form of Andrew 'Veg' Venables and his car offering life south) to leave our little gaggle of undesirables and begin the vast trip down the coast once more. it was a sad moment leaving the hut (specially as we'd sacked off paying rent and just slept in with the boys) and the lagoon and the terrace and clancys pie shop, but we marked our departure with macdonalds for breakfast before MAMMOTH 10 hr car journey. Company for said journey being Venables (mate from uni for all who are unsure of this strange new character), venables' mate farrell, and a very odd and small canadian man (no, i correct myself, boy) by name of Theo. Or Jim.

it was sweaty. and hot. and there were lots of trees and one token dead kangaroo. but not much else. we were not hounded by woman demanding to know our taking on chicken salt, nor chased by police. but we did eat two large packets of crisps. possibly the journeys most eventful moment. part from that, we sat a bit more.

now here we are, in Hervey Bay, the only town in the whole world which has everything you need but nothing is open. total-shutdown happens at 6 o clock (convientley timed with 5 very hungary travellers). there is buggar all here (well probably, but havent left pool so dont know), and we are waiting for the boys to get back from Fraser so we can get a lift to Brisbane. Till that happens, we sit.

this has been lynds. over and out.

joke of the day.....

lynds-n-kat — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

a koala was sitting up a tree, enjoying the day and smoking a joint, when along comes a lizard through the bush..
lizard (very surprised at seeing a koala smoking a joint): alright mate....howzit going? yous got any water??
koala: nah mate, but i reckon you'll find some over that way eh? (pointing through the bush)

so off trundles the lizard into the bush, and within five minutes he finds a creek with a croc chilling on the bank

lizard: awwwwwwwwwesome. some water. y'alright mate (to the croc). howzit going?? mate, you'd never guess what i just see back there. theres a fucking koala mate. up a tree mate, smoking a joint.
croc: no fucking way mate
lizard: way mate.

the croc reluctantly wanders off into the bush to see if this could possibly be true, and soon enough stumbles upon the stoner koala in the tree smoking a joint.
croc: maaaaate, is that a joint yoou got yourself up there?
koala: FUCK ME MATE, how much water did you drink???????

lurking in the shallows

lynds-n-kat — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

spent yesterday lurking in the shallows at airlie lagoon. it was the best day of nothing and met some cockney types and an aussie who doesn't know what he's doing as he himself put it.

after hours of much banterous chatting of crap decided to go out get battered and then get bus to Townsville after little sleep and hight blood alcohol level.

the bus ride was the first done both drunk and sadly awake but this was cool as we got to see the landscape change which it seems to do frequently up here in queensland.
awake was also brilliant as i got to witness lyndsey's first eating induced torrets- as she called some poor girl a fat bitch under her breathe (however, loudly), for eating loudly. lynds didn't even realise she'd done it. we also had nice vegimite picnic on delux coach.

spotted our first possum last night. once you've had possum you never look back. he was beautiful and prettier than me at the time that's for sure.

on magnetic island now after arriving in Townsville which appears to be Sheffield recreated for your industrial pleasure.
as weren't really feeling the factory visit urge have relocated magnetic island. think i already said that yes i did. but it is important and so called for captain cook's compass went mental apparently when he sailed past it.

however this has never been recorded since in the past few hundred years so he was either drunk or probably lying. which is probably true as surely there becomes a point where you can't think of anything new to call stuff you've discovered. and he was actually doing quite a lot of naming around this point in a god like manner. he also probably didn't record "compasses went mental round this island" in his log or diary or memoires or whatever captain make-it-up kept his important stuff.

the good ship boomerang ooo arrrrr.....

lynds-n-kat — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

so we're in the tropics!!!!! it is betting hotter all the time and when we arrived in airlie were most excited and looking forward to the whitsunday barrier reef yaught cruising that somebody somewhere in the red carpet tour had thought to book us lost ladies onto.

we arrived at the harbour and were introduced to our world racing champion 83ft fuck off boat and the crew of three. shannen who was our acdc loving skip, first mate junior who thinks that salad cream is mayonnaise and josh the general cabin boy and ship's cook who knows what mayonnais is.

we were an unlikely bunch of 27 (there was no way names were to remembered but we tried) and it soon became apparent that an 83ft yaugh does not sail itself and that slave labour still continues in this world in the form of continual winching of sails.and dropping of sails and gear changing and boom shifting. that's what we were for. so we boarded and with in minutes and every other minute i was on my bum or my face as i have no sense of balance or anything on a boat (this actually got better as goon was drunk) and lynds eyes to the sky "where's the sun for the sunbathing on the boat".

yet again we were pegged as troubkle from the start but although it is slightl dangerous to put me near something you can fall off and lynds near german girls with faces like slapped arses. we were brilliant company compared to happy and happier, the german couple who never smiled spoke or acknowledged the theme park like haven we were travelling around. (germans)

im bringing sexy back....

was fantastic though and contrary to popular belief- sailling is fucking cool. i now want a boat and lyndsey wants her breakfast back that she decorated the head sail with in horrific and comical dangeling-of-legs-over-the-bow in heavy chop stomach emptying scenario. think that's enough detail really.

spot the girlies

sailing really is it's own world. the first evening we all becam e drunken sailors as there really is nothing else to do especially as our witsun's was quickly becoming wetsuns. the usual games came out and we spent the evening trying to say anything in Slovenia (is well hard) trying to understand the irish in slightly drunken slur and why the germans just wanted to be miserable.

as the trip was becoming over cast the evening moonlight was spectacular throught the clouds me and lynds sat at the bough listening to the animals on the island and imagining being peter pan.

nice innit?

each day we were awoken by six in ultra hot bunk beds had a quick cup of tea and went snorkelling around the various reefs. much of 'my god look it's that fish that's always on the posters ' and what's the grey thing on the bottom happened.

the fish were really curious and kept following us and ncircling in a very plotting something very cunning fachion. (can't spell)

dispite it not being really sunny boat life is great. and we had sailing on 'kat please tie your bag to the boat. please' extreme angles. and evenings discussing the benefits of having a wailing wall with the isrealis and why ice hockey is important to the social structure of canada. no really this drunken ramblings may be important to the future on mankind. that was adrian the irish's imput. and to be fair he can't keep a simple rythum to play 'names of types of' so "actual results may vary......."

the last night was mellower with slow passing of the time back on the goon till the early morning and lots of games of guess what i am now and 40-40 at four in the morning. (turns out Slovenians are bloody good at hiding. think rok is still on there somewhere)

it was an all round amazing experience and memorable for the views, baeutiful white beaches and an ever present of feeling of the sea is awesome, in the true sense of the word.

-now i have never been a big sea person in a very i'm-a-human-i-belong-on-land way, but being able to sail with a beautifully functioning machine like vessel and a group of truely hilarious nationalities for a couple of days and you can not help but want

i now have no land legs wither

lynds-n-kat — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

i miss the boat. and the food and the waves crashing over us and i can't walk on dry land.

in other news the sun has rturned now we are not on the boat (typical)
and lynds did pople dancing last night.
that's food for thought boys ay?

fucking boats

lynds-n-kat — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

errrrrr......seasick.....

end of blog

radical dude!!!! and all that jazz (ooommmmmmm)

lynds-n-kat — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

what a day of delightlful doing of stuff..

we are now in a beautiful town on 1770. is tiny and there are a lot of people who have both eyes and there enitire family close together.

is dead chilled though and we thought it time to get off (rather large) arses and start doing things again after slump at dingos....

yet again we are being followed up the coast and have met up with old friends, and made some new in the form of the local weirdo group of hippies! wade and linc at the surf center who helped us stop fannying around for a change and gave us a surf lesson.

surfs up

they were the ultimate surfere dude stereotype. cvlonde hair to shoulder, too much stoning slow speech and a mamoth 15mins no less to take the boards of the truck which had interupted stories of the expected waves and last nights piss up to halt progress.
however, they knew what they were doing and made sure we did and to be honest. after a few of their tips and pointers.

awaiting for surf lesson

we kick ass... i know that you should always be gracious and modest but seriously even the surf guys were like "you girls are all over it" and were shocked we'd never surfed before.

was fucking awesome and seriously addictive. i challenge any reformed crack addict to try get out the water after catching a few good waves in.

after surfing went on to do run that day on the beach (of course) consume the best toasted sandwhiches known to man (a george foreman in. a hostel kitchen.- medal and big hat to whoever thought that one up, am sick to death of only eating things that boil or react with hob only to eat)
then and i quote "quick shower, pop over to the meditation class and cup of tea before bed"

yes, there is no way you can turn down the opportunity to go to a free meditation in the middle of middle of know where oz and have your chakras and light of your door to the kingdom of heaven re-aligned, with some locals and by some tarot reading french woman who believes she is a crow and can fly up to the moon.

seriously though apart from the "pick which animal of mother nature is leading your life." pack of cards. really now?! we were pleasantly surprised and actually was a zoning out experience. could have been the emence day of two hour surfing followed by run and the dimmly lit room though... was weird to suddenly find ones self in a a pre school hall in some small town concentrate on a candle flame and going "ommmm."
but from our hearts, which are our eyes in our chests, obviously. another one of those how did i find myself here, must not have been concentrating scenarios.

genereally, good day all round. we even have our very own chicken salt now. ( is it salt that chickens use or made of chicken or made by chickens nobody knows....)

grrr the enevitable happened

lynds-n-kat — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

so yes in aftermath of drinking guitar fused fun night the enevitable happened. kat lost her camera. it's gone was there one minute gone the next. not disimilar to certain wing mirror incident.
came home with me thenthe next day gone. three weeks people three weeks it lasted!!!!

pretty much tthink it's karma for not actually dying in some strange high tide crashing into a wash out incident on fraser though. funniest thing was how uplifted we were when the magic eight ball siad it would turn up again in time which it clearly wont as a ball filled with liquid and answer based on strange mystical magnetic pulls in suspension and pure luck.
oooh maybe it will then.....

spent the day looking for camera and sleeping and cleaning the crap off from fraser still. weather is getting hotter and here (rainbow beach) is the best place in the world to slob out which we are doing with both style, pride and complete and utter heart.

now spent two days by pool drinking tea and blissfully waining the day in semi conscious state and warming ourselves under the december sun?!? i just can't get head round that one i'
m afraid and have tried lots really!!!

certain boys from byron have not only rocked up not onlyy at our hostel but in our room no less..... joy....law of sod i believe. eeeeekkkk

alcohol comsumption has plumeted as comatose sitting condition is bringing around a much needed detox... a little too late we fear from looking at some photos and considering beer volume which has been not unlike a niagra for the last few days (fraser)

am peeling like an over ripe tomato in places and lynds has become ongoing meal for the flying things of the whole of queensland.

are going to see the carlo sandblow tonight but as usual for us someone is driving us there and we dont really know what it is.... should be fun though

Team Party, Porn and Problems : the legend that was Fraser Island

lynds-n-kat — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

hello kids.
i do wonder if anyone is reading these things.
me again, this is lynds, not katie (started calling her katie, which ive only just really noticed is her name. well actually, apparently, its kady, as somewhere between england Australia, Captain Cook lost his ability to pronounce T's)

anyway, getting sidetracked, this is lynds, not katie, therefore you will possibly understand this 'blog'

just got back from fraser island. what a fucking experience. can barely even put into words what a fantastic time we have just had. i have an aching stomach from a constant state of pissing-myself-laughing, gripping my seat in fear and the consumation of a quantity of alcohol that i am more than certain borders upon illegal in some more civilized nations of the world.

the scenario:

one viciously rusty 4x4 vehicle (by name of Jordan, as was more than top heavy), loaded up with all-dem-tings that we need for 3 days on a sandy island with lotsa flies and wild dogs.

four slightly delirouos, lazy yet incredibly funny chain-smoking russian/german boys and their wodka stash, two awesome 'lasses' from the land of Durham, a lovely couple from the 'nederlands' and me and the northerner. all brought together by fate of chance and cramped into the back of a clean-but-soon-to-be-sandier-than-the-average-beach Jordan (the car thing with large wheels)

one map. with tide times and places to go on the island, sounds simple enough doesnt it. drive along the beach at low tide and dont at high tide. ha.

a lot of food. like so much food.

a lot of alcohol. though apparently not enough.

one island, no doctors, no showers, no phones, no reception, lots and lots of evil and unrelenting flies, so so so much sand, a few sharks, surrounded by rip tides, big birds that eat snakes for breakfast and a fucking LOT of wind.

the party:

just the best group of people in the hostel that could have come together. we all got on, despite language barriers, like a house on fire and genuinely pissed ourselves laffing through 3 days.

drank all of our alcohol in the first night whilst dancing on the eskys (cool boxes) to german house music, scaring off the dingos, weeing in the bushes and pissing off all the other groups who had faces like slapped arses (clearly as wanted to dance on, and fall off, eskys too but were too fucking boring).

fraser island night one

then the second night drank all of the team next doors alcohol. for free. amazing.

came to develop an affection for previously thought-of-as-shite music, namely german house and justin timberlake. coz after 3 days of no shower and sleeping on the beach, we were all bringing sexy back. yup.

the porn: see photos. lake mackenzie. my bad potentially. some unfulfilled career ambitions.

lake macenzie

the problems:

ahhhhhhhhhhhh fuck so many. bare in mind 1000 dollar fine for fucking up car in any way.

magically evaporating wingmirror on first night. there in the night, not in the morning....potentially fault of 10 very drunk european-types and esky-dancing to 'put your hands up for Detroit'. nowhere to be found. i blame the dingoes.

general lossage and findage of kats camera and wallet.

LOTS OF FUCKING WIND on the first night. put that with being on the beach with tents, and after substantial quantities of alcohol and you get drunk-lynds-sitting-on-a-flyaway-tent-cursing-the-darned-climate-and-passively-wondering-where-the-fuck-kats-stuff-was. and the car keys.

fucking up the tide times (courtesy of us being knobheads, the germans being lazy and the dutch being hungover) thereby getting stuck at the north of the island at high tide, with fading light and no way to get back other than drive through very soft sand.

driving through very soft sand = overheated and smoking engine. nooooo very good with fading light on a deserted island. 1.5 hr pitt stop whilst shitting ouselves was necessary for engine to cool

tally tally tally ho!!!!! and underwater frolicking

lynds-n-kat — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 00:00:00 GMT

pool "by the beach"

night fever night fever but don't know why

punch. enuff said.

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, cant move. have big hunk of metal on back.

remember to breathe, remember to breathe. concentrate.

ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh shit

we met some boys......:)

lynds birthday night

coffs harbour sing along session

lynds, anne-marie, dom, luke n kat....coffs crew

a big bird (island) and kat

whos the fitties on the rock???

marine thing that is not a porpoise in the porpoise pool. hmm.....

trouble in form of two irish ladies

kat on the pull

coffs beach...place of run

percy the pelican (lyndseys new boyfriend)

"Coffs Harbour is just where we'll do our dive course" how dare me and lynds think that about a place we will make no decisions or judgements ever again. we were so wrong.

four days we'll stay. still there ten days later in the best hostel we have ever been in. they cook for you get you pissed and drive you round.

after the intolerance of indy's at Sydney we were compensated for sure here.
is all kinds of beautiful the beaches and views etc.....

started well here and were introduced to the whole world of pain the next day that is aussitel punch night. was awesome as was also lynds birthday so the 'reception boys' got cake and much merriment was to be made with thirty or so equally drunk people.

met some fabulous people and it seemed although coffs was blatantly a sleepy little town we could def wake it up..... usually with vodka, goon and tropical juice in a quanity of your choice (free stuff yey!!) and embarrassing games drunken trips down the beach and (in the sea) and really badly timed karaoke as in any time is badly timed.

punch debauchery, and the trouble that enevitably happens when alcohol, me and lynds, some equally alcohol 'liberated' irish, boys and a dance floor are put together, happened more than enough.

learnt to dive with more than promiscuous christian and crew.
me and lynds suddenly found ourselves in the classroom at seven in the morning hungover and with charts and numbers trying to concentrate on things that would save our lives, laughing as pissed still and wandering just how we have ended up back at school and what the hell is a o-valve, why does it sounds so rude and why do i have to check if mine leaks.
the most amazing fun especially when you make up ridiculous underwater signals and have intersting whole in crotch of suit to contend with at very embarrassing moments...

here was where the blessed tea on tap was discovered and we wasted many a day being british, consuming the tea supply in coffs, sat in our hangovers by pool with hyperactive boys and irish ladies that had mess for brains but in a really good way. we were just and morally inept foursome around alcohol. but again in a really really good way. hmmm....

was also place of being caught in brawls, getting lost somewhere in Japan for ages in the botanical gardens (seriously kat we've gone in a circle we're back at central america again..) rope swings ,dolphin spotting, birthday shopping, (free stuff yet again just for being born love it) foam parties, boy trouble (pretty much interest verging on marriage proposals and stirring up interst where we shouldn't. oops. our bad.) and lessons of just how much wine is not advisable to drinnk before a) punch night and b) going out into the public domain.

there's so much i could say but if you ever want to damage yourself alcoholically, stalk sharks with insane locals, lose an obscene amount of clothes in circumstances unknown or waste some time doing the funnest nothing known to man with other people. this is your place....

oh me and lynds can no play volley ball.

where did all the 17 year olds come from?!?!?!?

lynds-n-kat — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 00:00:00 GMT

kat is how small?

you know we belong together....

byron bay beach and mountainy ness (and the fucking schoolies)

hostel bar byron

byron bay walk up to lighthouse

lynds on a beach (with newly grown beer chin)

wategos bay, byron

me and lynds as east as you get in oz

oh dear lord. what the hell have we just entered. really now.
we left coffs yesterday with a oh i'm leaving home all over again feeling but also a lets go cos we caused a little bit of boy tention so run! run away and scream denile if all else fails....

so we had high hopes for byron... sexy, chilled out little bay of semi hippies that we could live up red carpet tour but no!!!! no i'ts full of schoolies who are running a muck stopping us from getting to the bar and we (i especially are literally loosing myself in the crouds of them due to height deficiency.

bay is beautiful though and we did mamoth trek to light house which proudly had 1901 written on it. impressive till lynds realised that her house is older view was another of those post card ones that we are near immune to now.

hostel is no where hear aussitels brilliance for a start we have one bathroom to share and two german girls spend there whole time in there. and if they're not in there they're trying to get in there.... hmmm.... sounds nothing like germans.

has cool bars that me and lynds have been asserting ourselves in. usually in very embarrassing (but stylish of course) dancing on tables and drinking much of the all too flowing beer that has become regular fixture in diet.

atleast i came home each night and have complete memories. names will not be said but it's kat typing before slander is cast onto the innocent.

found awesome live band as well at a bar called the rails but were too late to hear it all but just in time to hear absolute gem of a line from a schoolie when were caught with no where to run at the bar....

"i'm not having the best time cos i have a girlfriend. just thought i should say that incase you thought i was being a sexual predator"

lynds did usual laughing in someones' face so not choke on beer... i did a quite blatant looking up and down of the prepubesant squirrel features next to me and sigh of you poor deranged little boy. needless to say he sloped off....

and so at a total loss of what to do surrounded by the deviant rich kids we went on mamoth bar crawl so as to dilute the pain oh being surrounded by the same ones for too long, hitting any and i think most drinking establishments in byron... was very healthy and i think my dad will be proud.

so we're moving on to somewhere... but first need a shower so will need an army the size africa to remove greta and gunter features from bathroom or will stay with schoolies forever..... no!!!!!!!!!!!

The Crocodile Hunter: In Loving Memory

lynds-n-kat — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Anyone else think kats 'blogs' (hate that word) dont make much sense???? (exhibit A...one about Sydney ness). Sorry Katie, dont kill me, or shout, but i can noooo make head nor tale of most of them, punctuation would be marvellous. Loving this new relationship of honesty and unconditional love we have developed. (im going to die when she finds this)

anyhooo.....thought id write a little note about this fabulous place we went today called Australia Zoo. Its a small place, if you compare it to the size of Queensland, so was lost pretty much 90% of the time. Miss Hale was obviously very useful in contributing to directions off very-colourful-and-chessington-world-of-adventures-reminiscent-map. Actually, saying that she did get one direction right, cant remember which one but i remember the shock.

Now...not a big fan of zoos. Animals in uber-small enclosures being made to perform for food etc.... (hippy mother can u tell? )....but Australia zoo i was really impressed with. as was the northerner. Very few of the animals were fully enclosed, and you could wander between the kangaroos grazing around, just having a chill session. All of the shows were really nicely done (if u get me)...and were primarily educational not performative (ie...dont stand next to water if you dont want to get eaten. i sense that particular statement was for the benefit of the 'whooping' americans occupying the stands)...which made us feel a little more comfortable.

On a less joyous note, the tribute wall to Steve Irwin was a sobering part of the trip, and actually really sad. Obviously Australia Zoo was his lifes work, and as we learnt in our 'educational' trip, where he grew up. There were loads and loads of khaki shirts and all sorts on a wall for him and messages to his family. Very sad.

anyhoo....

Saw the legendary crocodile show (obviously the late-departed was not doing it, but it was cool nevertheless), wild birds, snakes, fed an elephant, cuddled the kangaroos (who were super friendly), patted a koalas arse, got chased by a wombat on a mission, laughed at kat trying to 'fit in' with the kangaroos, and ate some chips. And a pie for breakfast.
Good day all round.

sydney the start of 'lets go cause trouble'

lynds-n-kat — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 00:00:00 GMT

so we arrived in this haven of pouched animals and smoothies everyewhere, at night after flight of 'errrr..... what day is it, and where the hell are we now' and couldn't check in to what turned out to be hostel of doom as office was shut so went out instead.

waking with hangovers we went on a bit of an explore around bondi and generally spent time really confused about time, why it's warm and november and why australian men seem to have taken a liking to wearing speedos....

beached it pretty much everyday spent time walking barefoot around and ever insearch of more smoothies and a clue to help us actually figure out what the hell we are gonna do till xmas.

indy's our hostel, gave the answer to some of this in the form of dickie our strange receptionist saw the fact we were clearly too busy being cheeky buggers, boy watching and wandering which way the city was to plan anything so booked us stuff and we did. also got so much free stuff here and so became red carpet tour......

met random conglomerate of people including many dickheads who think trance house is firstly a form of music and secondly applicable to play at 7in the morning in hostel.

shared room with two girls from Blackpool and i use the term loosly as so were they. lynds had a few testy moments of 'i want to hit them kat, please let me they need slapping'. she didn't but she really was right. sess pit of room also contained a candian who's first hobbie is talking at people loudly at time of day about utter noting and second was throwing up in the bin, a guy who thinks cycling round oz is a good idea a stoner fisherman but thankfully there was also dave.

comando dave is army man and used all of his skills of country protection and turned them into control of crazy englich girls skills. basically became yet another person of many to come who would look after us.

guru showed us Sydney, bars, blue mountains which are beautiful but is actually a massive canyon that robs you of your legs to climb out of. thousands of vertical steps. thousands i tell you.

we decided Sydney was cool definately could turn into home and managed to go on runs through art exhibitions, see sights, get pissed, shop, go trekking, learn how to eat pie (thanks guru) be slightly debaucherous and dance our little asses off at strange, strange, under ground clubs, secure flat for xmas and new year and get the ball rolling for trip in a week.

so onward on journey into somewhere started wiht Sydney as base