The Happy Couple

Our first morning in New Zealand did not start well. We couldn't clearly remember getting back to the hostel, and the plant in the hallway outside our room looked like it might have been knocked over and most of the spilt earth clumsily heaped back into the pot next to the bent plant. Some of the contents of Joanne's handbag were scattered in front of our bedroom door and the window blind was badly bent, although we're sure that this couldn't possibly have been us. It did look a bit as if someone had fallen against it, causing it to bend against the portable television positioned under the window.

Slightly puzzled but quite sure that none of the chaos could possibly have been us, we went into the kitchen to make some much-needed coffee. One of the other guests asked me if we found our keys last night. Not having any idea what he was talking about I said yes, since we must have had them to get into the room. A few minutes later the middle-aged guy we'd been speaking to early the previous evening came in and asked us if we had found our keys and not long afterwards one of the guys running the hostel asked the same question. At this point I had to admit that I had no idea what they were talking about and confess that I didn't clearly remember getting back to the hostel. He informed me that main reason for his interest was that he had lent us a spare set of keys, which he was keen to see returned, when we had been unable to locate ours in Joanne's bag. Someone had let us in at the main door, but we were stymied when it came to our own room. Very embarrassed, I rushed back to the room and found a set of keys sitting on the table next to the bed. Meanwhile Joanne found ours in her purse.

Having wasted most of the day by waking up so late, we wandered into the town centre to get a feel for the place. Considering it is the biggest town in New Zealand, Auckland is tiny but then with only 4.3 million inhabitants in the whole country, there are not many New Zealanders to go around. I kept being reminded of Glasgow but again I'm not sure why. Probably still just the cold and the rain. On the way back from town, inevitably, we passed the Irish barman who had so kindly locked us in and served us green chartreuse the previous night. I didn't feel like speaking to him; I must not drink green chartreuse again.

We behaved ourselves that night and the next day returned to town to meet Joanne's friends Sharon and Derek. They had kindly agreed to receive post for us, so they brought us our South America on a Budget and New Zealand Rough Guides; completely sick of the Lonely Planet after it was all that was available in Asia. They also brought us a DVD full of MP3s that Joanne's brother-in-law, Robert, had sent us to allow us to change some of the music on our MP3 players we had become completely bored of.

The Sky Tower - still obscured by rain

We left them and went to Auckland museum. It was really pissing down and we had to wring our clothes out in the toilets when we got there. I wasn't all that impressed with the museum, partly because the exhibits weren't in any kind of chronological order, which I found very confusing; they preferred to have a room of “Maori stuff” and another room of “Birds” and another room about “Scottish immigrants” which is all very well, but I would rather have seen how each area of interest impinged on the others and at what point in time they all intersected. It wasn't a well put together display at all.

There wasn't as much as I'd hoped about New Zealand before the Maoris arrived either. The Rough Guide had really piqued my interest when I read that Maoris probably did not arrive until the 13th Century. I had assumed that they had been there ages before the Europeans arrived but in fact they only just beat them by about four hundred years. Not that long ago a friend of mine – Gavin I think it was – had seen a promotional video by the New Zealand tourism board which had described New Zealand as “The newest country in the world” and we had both assumed that this was a piece of Euro-centric propaganda, since it was about the last place white men found, but in fact they knew what they were talking about and it was perfectly accurate. That somewhere on Earth was not inhabited by humans until so late in human history I find amazing.

What I did learn at the museum, though, I found very interesting: New Zealand split from Gondwanaland so early that it went down an entirely different evolutionary path from the rest of the world; even Australia with its weird marsupials and so on is a much more modern deviation than New Zealand. All the trees native to New Zealand are also endemic, which is further confirmation of the early isolation. Frogs native to New Zealand do not go through a tadpole phase, now generally considered de rigeur by other frogs; instead they are laid in yolky eggs, rather like reptiles, and born as froglets complete with little tails and legs. Oh yes, Creationists, you are so right: clearly Evolution is just a myth!

There were no ground-dwelling mammals on New Zealand until the Maoris arrived, bringing, apart from themselves, some kind of Polynesian rat as food, and dogs. The only mammals before were some bats, which presumably flew all the way from Australia or other Pacific islands. The explanation for the lack of mammals is that mammals had not yet evolved by the Gondwanaland separation. In turn, since New Zealand's dinosaurs suffered the same catastrophe as all the rest, this meant that there were no ground-dwelling predators and over time birds evolved to fill the niche that mammals occupy elsewhere. Unfortunately for these birds, that meant that they were flightless and defenceless against humans, dogs, and rats when they arrived.

Like many guilt-ridden Westerners, I assume, I am used to thinking of European man as the baddie who causes mass-extinctions and destruction of the ecosystem when they arrive in places previously occupied only by gentle natives in-tune with their environment. Of course this view is naïve nonsense and, like the Amerindians who were guilty of massive deforestation and the extinction of the giant sloth amongst other creatures, the Maoris' arrival caused huge upheaval in the environment and many of these flightless birds in particular were extinct not long after their arrival. I had read in the Rough Guide that Maoris occupied the North Island predominantly. What the museum added was that they had originally occupied the South Island where most of the tasty flightless Moas were to be found; this is what they lived on after the most of sub-tropical plants they had brought from Polynesia failed in the temperate climate. Then once they had eaten all of the Moas, they moved back to the North Island where these who had stayed behind were beginning to learn how to cultivate the land there. Sweet potatoes, or kumara, that's what they lived on after exterminating so much of the native fauna, the only imported crop to grow successfully in the new land. Of course the dogs and rats took their toll as well and it all added up to an ecological apocalypse.

However the Maoris' ecological damage was nothing compared to what happened when the Europeans did arrive, releasing pigs early on “so there would be something to eat” when they returned, then deer a bit later “so there would be something to hunt”; and this was before colonisation had even begun. Of course they also brought the more familiar ship stowaway rat from Europe. And cats. The remaining flightless birds were doomed: they had been hiding in the forest but, after the deforestation the Maoris had begun was brought up to an industrial pace, there was nowhere to hide from the new predators and their numbers plummeted further.

The archaeological, cultural, logistical, and linguistic evidence all points to the Maoris coming from Polynesia, probably via the Cook Islands and maybe further East before returning and heading South; legend tells of the people originating from far overseas in a place called Hawaiki. They weren't explicit in the Museum, and I'm no linguist but I assumed they were suggesting that Hawaii is where their journey began, although I didn't see that implied anywhere else.

Another source of disappointment in the museum for me, was that the Maori section said absolutely nothing about the moko, the traditional Maori facial tattoos. I had hoped to find more out about them. We had seen one woman in Auckland with her chin tattooed, but that was the extent of our moko experience thus far. The museum had lots of paintings by colonial artists, where the mokos were clearly the main subject, but the panels underneath didn't even mention them: they just told you all about the artist!

When we left the museum we were soaked again. Such Scottish weather – and we didn't have the clothes for it. We had clothes for a year-long summer. Back at the hostel even more people asked us if we had found our key; clearly the owners had been very amused and told everyone about it.

written by

The Happy Couple on August 14, 2009 from Auckland, New Zealand

from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon

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The aeroplane left Lanzhou and landed a couple of hours later in Xi'an where there was a short stop-off before continuing to Hong Kong. I was hoping we could just sit on the plane and read but we were forced to get off, hang around the airport for a bit, and then get back on the plane to continue to Guangzhou. Even on aeroplanes, Chinese people seem to think it's still OK to go to the toilet and smoke, but they clearly don't have the smoke detectors set up to identify smokers and nobody did anything about it. The smoking is one aspect of China I really won't miss.

We took off from Xi'an early and landed thirty minutes ahead of schedule. This was great because we had a succession of transport links which would get us to Hong Kong airport, with not much time to spare, although we had allowed a fair amount of leeway at every step. The plan was Lanzhou to Guangzhou by plane; airport shuttle bus from Guangzhou airport to Guangzhou East Train Station; train from Guangzhou to Kowloon in Hong Kong; then the airport express from Kowloon Station. The crucial step was the train journey from Guangzhou to Kowloon and our original schedule had us waiting for quite a while for a train there, which would get us to Hong Kong only just in time to check in, so I wasn't very happy about it at all. I hoped that we would get there early enough to get the previous train, but an alternative and possibly more complicated plan if we didn't get the previous train to Kowloon was to get a train instead to Shenzhen, just inside China then walk over the border to Hong Kong, where we could get on the Hong Kong Metro and take that to the airport.

When it all seemed to be going so smoothly the luggage belt stopped just as we got there. Then when they finally restarted it my bag was one of the last off and we could see all of our advantage evaporating. Waiting for the shuttle bus, I noticed some black stuff over the back of my big rucksack. Could it be that the Chilli Bovril I had been taking round the world since South Africa had smashed in my bag and leaked through? It seemed quite likely. This was the first time I had packed it without the protection of the plastic cups I had been shoving the jar in. I did not relish the thought of trying to clean up the black sticky mess of smashed glass from all over my clothes while rushing to make it in time for the international flight.

The shuttle bus took us across Guangzhou too late for the train I wanted to catch, which meant we would have to wait for one hour forty minutes for the next one, leaving us with no margin at all. I suggested to Joanne that we should consider that Shenzhen train instead but she was not keen on the complication of not knowing what the border crossing entailed or where the metro station in the other side was. So we waited. At least the wait meant I had time to investigate my bag, discovering to my huge relief that the black sticky mess did not originate inside my bag. Some other person on the Guangzhou plane was now dealing with a mess in their bag some of which had leaked onto mine. Unlucky for them!

The train left more-or-less on time, but soon after it left the station it stopped for ten minutes. We were getting quite worried. It never seemed to get up to full speed and it stopped several more times. This was supposed to be an express! Eventually it arrived, forty minutes late, meaning that we would maybe make before the check-in closed but only if we got the airport express immediately. After going through customs at the station we ran up the stairs to find our where the airport express leaves from. It leaves from Kowloon Station we were told. But surely that's where we are: we had bought tickets to Kowloon and arrived at Hung Hom which we had seen online is Kowloon Station. It turned out we must have misread something or seen a mistake on a website: Hung Hom is in Kowloon, but Kowloon Station is actually a different one. We were stuffed! There was nothing to do but run outside and flag down a taxi. The taxi driver was not getting into bartering: it's a good price, he said, because he was going to pick someone up at the airport anyway. Hong Kong is definitely still not China. No bartering and very high prices, but Joanne reminded me how much the airport express would have been and the taxi was actually only slightly more at HK$250, so we agreed and were saved.

The flight was absolutely terrible: because we had arrived so late all of the good seats were gone and we had to take the two seats in the middle, behind the section of the plane where the put all of the children. The row in front was a couple with two young children; one of them screamed for nearly the entire twelve hour journey and the other one bounced up an down on armrests of the chair in front of me while the parents did nothing at all. After all the awful transport we had taken in Asia I remembered that aeroplanes are the most uncomfortable form of transport known to man: the moulded seats are far less comfortable than any wooden bench because they are moulded for short people and the headrest makes you crane your head forward no matter how far you recline your chair. Because of these things I find it very hard to sleep on planes so I hate night flights but, with the children on this flight it was just impossible. I don't know why children are allowed on planes. It's just selfish to take them. Nobody in our row got any sleep at all then when the aeroplane's blinds went up and it was time to wake up, the whole demon family were soundly sleeping in a row. I was tempted to start screaming and kicking the chairs, but I managed to restrain myself.

Wow!

So that was it: China over. I really enjoyed China and I'd quite like to return some time, maybe to learn the language, which fascinates me. We felt quite hesitant about returning to China after having spent time with Tibetans in Nepal and India and the cultural suppression of Tibet is appalling, however if we were to boycott all countries with unethical policies there wouldn't be very many places in the world to go, and I'd certainly not be able to return home to Britain. There is actually another side to the Tibetan issue: educational opportunities and quality of life in Tibet have improved massively, particularly the poor's, since the annexation but the suppression of culture that accompanies this is inexcusable. I would like to see Tibet proper on my return and I'd also like to see some of the more remote areas, and cross over into Mongolia to see what that is like.

Remainders of EXTREME chili Sichuan chicken dish

I was very impressed with how modern Chinese cities are and how widespread environmental measures like electric vehicles and energy-saving bulbs are; you never see an incandescent bulb in China. The low-light must be the food though. Although we had a few excellent meals and the by far the hottest food in Asia, most of the time the meat was just awful. I suppose this was partly due to not knowing what we were doing most of the time we ordered, but I think it would be hard to order nice food all the time.

Precocious Chinese children

The people are generally very nice and friendly, although in big cities this nice temperament is abused by very convincing nice friendly con-artists all over the place. The human rights record in China may not be up to much, but there is no sign of the people being unhappy. Russel, the English teacher we met in Vietnam, had been working in China and raised the human rights issue with some Chinese friends. They insisted that his concern was to completely misunderstand Eastern, particularly Chinese, psychology. They told him that Chinese people do not really have a sense of self like Westerners and to them their awareness begins at a collective level; where a Westerner sees an individual's human rights being abused, they told him, a Chinese person will just see a disruptive element being removed from society. It's hard to believe that an individual's psychology could be so collective as to virtually lose empathy for other individuals in preference for the group, but what do I know – I'm just a individualistic Westerner. Whatever the truth on an individual level, it does seem like this philosophy has been put into practice by the Chinese government: the quality of life in China has improved far faster than any other country in recent times. OK, so some individuals have suffered terribly in the process, but is it worth it if the end result is a massive uplift of society in general? My Western morals reflexively say not, but I don't think it's really as morally a straightforward choice as my gut tells me.

Kyanjin Gompa

As we flew away from China I realised that we were not just leaving China, but leaving Asia after seven months. To some extent it was a relief, because Asia can be really tough at times, but my overwhelming feeling was one of sadness. I really love Asia. There's a lawlessness that I find really exciting, augmented by the fact most of it is so busy. It's just crazy, the madness of Asia climaxing in India which somehow hangs together despite all of the chaos. But despite this lawlessness, it very rarely feels like you are in any danger from people out to do you harm. I think you are farm more likely to be involved in an accident than the West, but I am sure that you are far less likely to be a victim of crime. Of course there are exceptions, where there are high concentrations of tourists, like the Khaosan Road to Thai islands buses, but generally Asia feels extremely safe as far as danger from other people goes, but you are not protected in the same way as we are in the West. Surely this is the right way round: I would rather be responsible for my own wellbeing than having the state prevent me from doing things it considers dangerous or criminals out to damage my wellbeing? And what lovely people for the most part: from the kind and gentle Tibetan Nepalis to the ultra-cute children in Cambodia, there were many things I admired in every culture we encountered. Of course as a Westerner the difference in culture can be very frustrating: having to haggle over everything can be great fun, but it gets annoying at times, particularly in India, where the rules of fairness seem to be more flexible than in the West. Other than that most of the food is great and all of your senses are constantly assailed: apart from the delicious and sometime unusual food, it's noisy and smelly. But I think we Westerners are generally a bit too fussy about things like hygiene. Lastly, the weather is generally hot which I love, and for the most part it's very cheap so you spend a lot of time there without spending much money. So how much of shock was it going to be going in the other direction: we were heading to New Zealand where there was going to be health and safety (not sure about crime), it would be cold, and it would be expensive. Why were we going there again? At least there would be good beer and wine, something very much absent from Asia. And we would be understood wherever we went! No more struggling with tonal languages or difficult scripts. I was viewing New Zealand as a rest. A little stop off before the excitement continues in South America.

Take photo!

written by

The Happy Couple on August 11, 2009 from Hong Kong, Hong Kong

from the travel blog: Michael's Round-the-World honeymoon

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Trips:

Shorthand link:

Buddy List

Great Tribe of Fifteen Nations

Rotorua, New Zealand

Better Than Brioche (or Cake)!

Rotorua, New Zealand

A Massive Comedown

Paihia, New Zealand

Brand New Zealand

Auckland, New Zealand

Arrival in New Zealand

Auckland, New Zealand

Goodbye China and Asia!

Hong Kong, Hong Kong

Grim Hotel and Weird Fruit

Lanzhou, China

Monastery of a Living Buddha

Xiàhé, China

A Kora in a Ring

Xiàhé, China

Into a Tibetan Autonomous Zone

Xiàhé, China

Heading South?