Getting settled in Melbourne

The Yarra - which runs through the centre of Melbourne

I’ve been here in Melbourne just about a month now, so I thought it was about time that I wrote something about what I’ve been up to. The only problem is the complete lack of photos to add to this entry - I keep on forgetting to take my camera out with me when I do go out, and I’ve been too busy/lazy to go on a photo-taking tour of the landmarks. So, sorry about that.

I arrived in Melbourne from Bali in shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops in the mistaken belief that it would be warm in Australia approaching summer. Turned out that it wasn’t. For about the first 2-3 weeks it was actually bloody cold. And to my utter dismay the fates conspired to continue the trend of it always raining on my birthday.

Cathedral with skyscrapers

I spent the first week in the ‘Ritz for backpackers’ hostel, which was ok - the main benefit was that the bar underneath the hostel was the one that hosted the weekly ‘Neighbours Night’ (where you get to meet 3 stars of the show.) It was on my first visit to this, that I met a couple of guys who would be my companions for the next couple of weeks - Rhys and Filipo (the later an Italian with a hilarious Essex accent). Law graduates from Oxford, they were spending a few months travelling before they started their first jobs. This information gave me great hope for the quiz that takes place at Neighbours Night (which we think had a first prize of $200). We came second. Gutted. A few pints of beer and snakebite later and I was in real trouble. Luckily, the stars (Skye, Dillon and Ned) had disappeared by this point, so I was in no risk of making a t**t out of myself in front of anyone famous. Which is surely the main concern on any night out.

The Melbourne skyline by the Yarra

A week later, I had no desire to go again, but the boys assured me it would pay for itself - we would obviously win the quiz this time. We’d go there early, get good seats - not miss a trick. I was encouraged when Rhys randomly bumped into a couple of girls from their course. More Oxbridge intelligence, and being girls, they’d be able to answer questions on Netball and stuff too. I was happy with a team of 5 - $40 each. Then the problems began. The girls each had a drunken bloke in tow, and they had a couple of friends too. 9. $21 each. Then 2 more randoms. And the drunk blokes were on their mobiles, making it bloody obvious to all and sundry that we were cheating. We clearly got busted - we only got a few questions wrong, yet didn’t even figure in the top 5. However, meeting Stefan Dennis cheered me up. Especially when he made an absolute fool of himself asking the audience to sing the chorus of his one ‘hit’ with him to an uncomfortable silence, with the odd interjection of a drunken shout. The others on show were Elle and Stingray.

As I mentioned before, I celebrated my 24th birthday soon after my arrival. I went out in the evening with Rhys and Filipo and managed to score a free meal - a descendant of distant family of Filipo’s lived in the area, and wanted to meet him, so we went out for an Italian meal. This guy had a son who was a promoter of the biggest student nights in the city, so we were taken to one of these and were given free beer for the first couple of hours. Sweet!

I sorted out some proper accommodation in my first week here - I’ve got a room in a house-share. Which seems to be pretty much a bedsit. I get my own room, fully furnished, with all bills included, and have to share a bathroom and kitchen. Only problem is the lack of a lounge. But considering some of my housemates, this is probably a blessing in disguise. There’s 15 of us in the house - with 4 couples sharing rooms. There’s 2 hippy couples, who’ve headed off this weekend to some hippy festival, a big gay Cook Islander (who’s as camp as Christmas) and a hideous pair of middle-aged lesbians (one of whom I actually thought was a bit mental when I first met her, but then I found out it was that she was batting for the other team. Which explained a lot. And I genuinely think she’s an alcoholic too.) The one bright light in all of this is an American girl who works in a pastry shop. Every night that she works, she brings us back a dozen or so pies and pasties. Obviously I make sure I get my fair share, having to compete with the fat Cook Islander and a massive Kiwi bloke who usually snares at least 3.

Federation Square - a collection of strangely shaped buildings in the city centre make up this weird little area

The room is ok once you get used to it - the only problems being the sink which backs up a lot, leaving bits of food floating in it and a strange smell, and the discovery today of a mouse (whom I’ve named Bruce). I’d heard some scrabblings before, but I’d assumed it was from outside. Turns out not. Also, the kitchen isn’t blessed with amazing utensils. There’s now only one bowl to go around the whole house. There was one knife, but that has now disappeared too. I’m having to butter my toast at the moment with the back of a spoon (which actually works pretty well.)

Statue of The Don, outside the MCG

I’d been looking for work for almost a week, money was getting a little tight, when I landed a job doing pretty much the last thing that I’d ever willingly choose to do. Door to door sales. It wasn’t such an intimidating prospect - just trying to get people to change electricity companies. In the 2 days of training, we were told the opportunities would be endless and the money would be awesome. $25 a sale, and we’d be making anything from 6 - 8 sales a day (working a 6 day week). The only thing that would hold us back would be ourselves etc etc. Well, the top-selling rep, an Irish guy with the gift of the gab who’s been doing the job for a year manages 8 sales on a good day, 4 on a bad day. The other reps that have been there for 6 months manage 5 sales. This is all before tax of course. So the money wasn’t actually that good unless you were really experienced and a really good, enthusiastic salesman. Enthusiasm, if you know me well, is something I struggle to bring to the surface much. I think any charm that I have is….well, more of a slow-burner. Personally, I’m quite suspicious of enthusiastic people. Why the hell are they so pumped? Why are they always so happy?? They must be hiding something. Or slightly mental. I just wish I had a tranquiliser gun so I could calm them down when they were around me. So, you can imagine my delight in being trapped in the back of a small car for ½ hour every morning and evening, with the most hyper 17 year-old you can possibly imagine. And this was from first thing in the morning to late in the evening, after a long day of work. After a while of listening to her jabbering on about her life story, we all grew to just sit there and tune her out. Her response to this was to actually sit there and talk to herself. And not just a monologue, but a dialogue. She would ask and answer her own questions. Crazy, crazy girl.

St Kilda beach

I found the job actually not that bad, though I found it difficult to really push people into making the decision to change and sign the contract there and then, which was the only option we were allowed to give them. If we made less than 2 sales a day, we were given a ‘safety cushion’ of the equivalent of 2 sales anyway - $50. Which, after paying for my accommodation, transport and food left me with FA for a day of walking around and taking abuse. So, after almost a week of this, I decided enough was enough, hit the job agencies hard, and have now got an hourly wage ($19.50) working at a call centre. This might sound as bad as door to door, but it isn’t sales, only information from a company the customer is already with. So it should be ok, and it’ll be nice to finally get some money.

Not sure what this is a statue of. But there's a nice palm tree next to it

Melbourne itself is a really cool place. I’m living in St Kilda which is just outside the CBD, and there are lots of really nice bars and shops nearby. Only, I don’t have any money to spend in them. The weather here has definitely improved over this last week, hitting the mid 30’s at one point, and my weird housemates are trying to fire up the BBQ in the yard at any opportunity at the moment. I’m just missing the shrimp at the moment. But as soon as one does cross my path, you can be assured that I’ll throw it straight on the Barbie.

Getting settled in Melbourne

Melbourne, Australia