Hollywood Stars and Hot-tubs

Our high hopes for Mission Beach were dashed due to a relentless downpour leaving our visit there a little washed out. Luckily our stay was mid-week and so the days became a countdown until Home and Away and Neighbours.

Not enjoying ourselves at Mission Beach

We took a token stroll along the beach but this was thwarted by the heavens opening and so we had to make a run for cover. And smug Australians complain about English weather, HELLLLLOOOOO!

The Topless Moke on Magnetic Island

Townsville was a fairly non-descript place, however, it has a badass kiddie's playground where we had competitions of who could go higher on the swings. This was just a one night stop off for Magnetic Island. Its beauty explains why so many travellers are 'drawn' to it and it certainly 'pulled' us in. Before realising that there was only one road on the island, Murph, Erin and Colly hired a Topless Moke (very small Barbie-esque vehicle). We spent the day cruising round visiting various bays and beaches. At the end of the day we chased the sun and watched it set from a vantage point on some rocks. Meanwhile Tay got in touch with her inner naturist with a trip to the nudey beach. Whilst the experience was 'liberating' the presence of a very naked, very old man hovering a little too close for comfort led her to cut the visit short.

After a chilled out week we arrived in Airlie Beach, the gateway to the Whitsundays, ready to P-A-R-T-Y!!! After a few nights on the go we decided to have a quiet singular drink in our hostel bar. This was before we were accosted by 14 football players from Perth on their end of season trip. They followed our lead and joined us in guzzling large volumes of snakebite in honour of English uni students everywhere.

The real Matthew

Normally very few things could distract us from the company of 14 strapping young men, however, a Hollywood star being one of these, the football boys were ditched when Matthew McConaughey strolled into the bar. Before any of you ladies stop reading due to extreme jealousy, we regret to inform you that he did in fact look like an alcoholic tramp. Sporting a Tom Hanks in Castaway beard, yellow trainers and for apparently no reason whatsoever, a Miner's headtorch, he proved that money doesn't buy you style, it does however get you rock hard abs and buns of steel ;-) Watching him dance to a live band in the Irish Bar was particularly special, his favourite moves being the chicken and the squat. Sarcasm was lost on him when Colly told him he was an amazing dancer and he innocently thanked her. Whilst the real Matthew had a no photo rule, luckily for us we had our own lookalike on hand to pose instead.

The girls and "Matthew"

Bradley from Koh Phangan looked more like Matthew McConaughey than Matthew McConaughey and one onlooker even asked us if he was his brother!

Us at the Whitsundays

We arrived at the pier for our two night Whitsundays cruise and couldn't believe our eyes when we scanned the sea of females. Had we inadvertently booked ourselves onto a lesbian cruise? No, apparently we were just bloody unlucky. Indeed the knowledge that Bradley and 20 men were on the Clipper's sister boat rubbed salt into the wound. We decided to give the lesbians a chance but we soon realised that they were a pretty dull bunch.

The fun elite crew

However, we quickly bonded with Londoners Sash and Naiby and the Aussie deckhands Eddie and Bryce. We formed an exclusive fun clique for the duration of the cruise. Drinking games featured heavily on both nights. When you are stuck in the middle of the ocean without a dance floor or podium in sight the only place to go is the boat's hot-tub, where we bundled in and played with a rubber ducky for hours on end.

Hot-tub action

We were rudely awoken at 8am by the crew banging on saucepans outside our cabins. Our hangovers quickly disappeared when we reached Whitehaven Beach. Our photos can't do it justice but it was by far the best beach we have seen all trip.

Whitehaven Beach

The afternoon brought snorkelling and due to it being stinger season we had to wear full body wetsuits. Unfortunately due to us being lazy we were the last ones off the boat and so were left with extra-large wetsuits where saggy crotch-lines caused much amusement. For reasons unbeknown to us we became fairly hysterical in the water and bizarrely broke into a snorkel-voiced rendition of 'God Save the Queen'. It was beautiful, as was the coral, which was much more impressive than we had seen in Cairns. Once on dry land we had an after-party for the boat, we shimmied our way around town, particularly enjoying Eddie's pole-dancing. The night as usual ended up with a food stop. Unfortunately for us Airlie Beach pie-shop is on our route home. The new pie obsession came to a head when Erin and Tay entered the pie-shop at 2am and requested a spinach and feta be put on hold for when they planned to leave the club at 3:10am. Who ate all the pies? We did.

written by

Murph, Tay, Colly and Erin on October 22, 2006 from Townsville, Australia

from the travel blog: The Smug Adventures Down Under

Send a Compliment

Hi girls,
great to read the blog as ever - the pictures are spectacular and the adventures the usual hair-raising stuff! Now if you should see George Clooney out there dancing in your hostel bar give me a call! Its obviously the place to be!!
Safe travels,
mummy murphy

written by liz on October 24, 2006

Good to see you are still having a great time, just to let you know the weather is cold and wet today so live it up in the sun as much as you can

written by Matt on October 30, 2006

Possums, sorry but I have been rather busy recently, particularly with the happy arrival of the two youngest Marmites! I’m glad to read that you girls are eating heartily on local pies etc. Speaking of local produce, you do realise that Melbourne is the home of Vegemite. When you get there, check out the Vegemite factory, where they will play for you one of Australia’s most famous songs: “Happy Little Vegemites”. I can’t embed the song here, but the lyrics are worth you growing girls taking note of:

We're happy little Vegemites, as bright as bright can be,
We all enjoy our Vegemite for breakfast, lunch and tea,
Our mummies say we're growing stronger every single week,
Because we love our Vegemite,
We all adore our Vegemite,
It puts a rose in every cheek.

But be careful not to have any with you when you finally get to the US. Sadly, Vegemite is now an illegal substance in America! (see below) and they have sniffer dogs specially trained to detect it at US customs.

http://digg.com/offbeat_news/Vegemite_banned_in_the_United_States

As for Tay on the nudey beach – well!!! I tried that just once, in my younger more reckless days. Trouble was that the fine sand adhered to the Marmite residue on some sensitive parts – my infants were most upset later on that day, I can tell you!!

written by Mrs Mandy Marmite (mother of nine) on October 30, 2006

Something's amiss with "smug 1" blog! On my PC at least, the entry for Chaing Mai now has a seascape + 3 girls, where before there was that atmospheric photo of the "jurassic park esque jungle village". Duplicate file names perhaps? Maybe you should ask blogboy?

written by Father O'Doode on October 31, 2006

Happy Birthday Tay 3rd Nov!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope u have a special and very different birthday wherever u are.
I am loving the blog..its like a series....laura's diary....its getting close to my neighbours addiction. Tell Karl i still love him if u spot him down under.
All my love Sammiwoo.xxxxxxxxx

written by samantha waterhouse on November 3, 2006

Happy birthday Granny number 2. Hope you have had a good day celebrating Tay's special day!
Lots of love,
mummy and daddy Murphy

written by liz on November 3, 2006

Happy Birthday for Yesterday Tay!

Had a great night out, very eventful. I have learnt a very valuable lesson, dont wear thongs on a night out in the Valley! Grr, see you this evenign for more birthday celebrations

Love Veg x

written by

Vegtibbles on November 3, 2006

I see that your visitors people interesting, you the same likely the person interesting. I wish you all most good.

written by Alexei Grabber on November 15, 2006

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