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The Trans-Mongolian erm...smugglers

Irkutsk, Russia


With a happy heart and a Spring in my step i got onto the first of the big famous trains that was gonna get me to moscow. I was still shellshocked from the Ulan Batar situation so i was a bit skeptical about this train ride. I would love, at this point, to say that from here on, it got smoother and easier. Unfortunately i can't cos in all my life i have never been on a madder train ride in my life and that even includes the train rides where i was threatened by the romanian mafia and had to share a bunk with a family of nomadic gypsies...anyway, i digress.

So it turns out that the train between UB and Irkutsk in Russia is a focal point for smugglers. Now, i must be naive cos i thought smugglers all were scarred villains wearing only black and smoking cigarillos in the shade. these smugglers that were on out train and in our carriage were cheerful, merry vodka swilling lads. I would call them rogues at best but seeing as how they were smuggling, i guess they must be referred to as smugglers. And boy did they live up to their reputation. a strange mix of items needed desperately to shipped to Russia. these included rolls of yellow tape, thousands of yak hair body warmers and some unfashionable jeans. these were things i saw (and i guess i helped smuggle 2 pairs of unfashionable jeans across the border as they were hidden in my bag at the crossing...Am i a smuggler too?!).

The train was full of smugglers smuggling. i think except tony, me and our roommate, there were no other non-smugglers aboard. oh wait, there was a frenchman and a german but that was it! Everyone was in on it. the train attendants were taking their share, the customs guys were getting their moneys worth too. On arrival at the border the flock of stern (and i mean STERN, nazi like women in the biggest official looking hats in the world. "jor passport" "ah joo ahdam vudd? stand ap now" i was waiting for them to strip me then douse me in flea powder but they didn't) checked absolutely evrey cm of the carriage. even un screwing the rooves and stuff. we had to wait about 6 hours before we finally got into russia. this was after our smuggler in our room produced about a million dollars in russian money from his underpants and paid the guards to move on. of all the people in the world i wouldnt try to bribe it was those guys. He was a braver man than i. but thats not hard. His friend did get into a spot of trouble though. Olzod was a former contender for asian boxing champion and he enjoyed punching. he was also busted with some unclaimed machine part in his room. could have been from a nuclear weapon or something but judging by mongolian technology it was probably a washing machine mangle valve or a biplane propeller part...who knows, but he got shouted at like a highschool kid. didnt help that he was as pissed as a fart and tried to hug the official. maybe he got the chance to slide $100 into her bra strap cos he didnt get flung off the train. hehe.

Anway, after customs it was smooth sailing. One other exciting element of the customs thing was that despite it being illegal, the smuggling guys in our cabin were drinking vodka. And to make my story more exciting, i should add that we were drinking their vodka too. bloody great cupfulls. nice cheap rotten stuff. i enjoyed it immensely but tony seemed a bit green around the gills after the first liter. But he drank more of the alcoholic fermented horses milk than i did so i guess we are all square.

so my next post will be from irkutsk inside the soviet union...

permalink written by  adamski752 on August 30, 2008 from Irkutsk, Russia
from the travel blog: Adam's Leisurely Return Home
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What year did this happen? My girlfriend is the daughter of Olzod and we are trying to track his life. He died in 2001 and we are trying to find out as much about him as posible.



permalink written by  Johnny Fynbu on September 13, 2009

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