Our students aren't supposed to speak Korean at the school, so they get to choose their own English names. Most of them are young enough that their only real exposure to English is through Hollywood, which is kind of sad, but mostly funny. I have an entire class that is Star Wars themed. It sounds like I'm disciplining on the Death Star: "Darth Vader, stop talking or you've earned a time out." Or, "Skywalker, do you have your vocabulary?" And my own personal favorite, "I'm sorry, Yoda, that's incorrect." Nobody ever got to say that in the movie.

The middle classes write diaries three times a week to work on writing. On my first day, one seven-or eight-year-old girl wrote, "Today is English school stranger change. Stranger name is Alli. She's eyeglasses and sky color t shirt. Alli teacher is so so scary. But so pretty!" That diary is currently taped to my fridge.

Another class has seven eleven-year-old boys, and one annoyed girl. Eight students is a pretty typical class size, although a few have just one student, and some as many as twelve. Yesterday I was trying to explain 'castle' so I drew a cartoon on the board. Teaching here is like getting paid to play pictionary for seven hours. ("Teacher, draw is what? Angry cat?" "Very very big mouse!" "Tiger!" It was actually a weasel.) But anyway, I draw a castle, and as one, in perfect harmony, the boys begin to sing: "Do-do-do-dodo-DO-do..." It was the Super Mario Bros. theme song. So I guess they got the point.

These guys are fun, but hands down, my favorite student is the Monster Kid. He's one of my younger students, about six, and we're making ABC books in his class. Each page has a large bubble-letter (Aa) and three words that begin with the letter of the day (alligator, apple, ax). They're supposed to color the letter, and draw pictures of the words. And every single day, this kid transforms the bubble letters into some kind of monster, or as he says it, MONsterrrrrrrrrrr. It has become the highlight of my day. "Tell me about your 'H' picture, John."
"Teacher. H is House MONsterrrrrr." Sure enough, there is a roof over the capital H, and the little h is a garage with a car inside.
"What are these?" I ask, pointing at two red and blue spikes protruding from the roof.
"POISON FIRE TEETH!"
"Wait. So, if the House Monster bites me, am I on fire or poisoned?"
"POISON FIRE! and Teacher! Teacher!"
"Yes?"
"Feet." The House Monster can walk. "And Teacher...human. Bloooooood." A stick figure covered in red scribbles lies prostrate on the ground.
"What happened to the human?"
"Feet, crush. And poison...FIRE...teeth crush! Bloooood."
If I ever have children, I hope they are exactly as creative as John, with maybe slightly fewer violent impulses.

Off to work. I can only imagine what the Ii will become today. Ice monster, perhaps?

written by  alli_ockinga on March 19, 2009 from Inch'on, South Korea
from the travel blog: I go Korea!
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I hope it's "Ice Cream Monster."

That would be so, so rad.

And please never throw that piece of paper away. When you become the crazy scrap-booking lady I know that you're going to be, the "Korea Trip #1" scrap book will have that as its cover.

written by  Ryan on March 22, 2009

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