Vietnam, the land of mopeds!

Vietnam, what made me come here? Well probably as a result of watching too many war films with dad when I was younger, the desire to hear the sound of a helicopter going across paddy fields (cos that would happen obviously!) and just because somewhere in my stomach, it was a place that I was drawn too and it didnt disappoint!
I arrived in Ho Chi Minh city (saigon) having spent a lovely flight, with leg room, next to a business man James (not the James that follows later) who wanted to make sure I would arrive safely at my chosen guesthouse. I stupidly (as it later comes to light) declined his kind offer - well I was brought up never to go anywhere with strange men - hah! Anyway, having found a cashpoint, realised I was a Viet millionaire now, i finally jumped in a cab and asked for it to be on the meter as per James advice. yes no problem, well until we start driving, no meter no work!! bloody brilliant. I said stop I shall get another. no no fine, we agree price. He gets his english speaking buddy on the phone, i agree 50,000 dong, pretty good. Haha, welcome to Vietnam, as the meter strangely starts working!! I just sat in the back and laughed. By this time, we are winding slowly round millions of mopeds. I dont think Ive seen so many mopeds in my life, in one place. All tooting, all going in different directions, no traffic lights but strangely, despite the chaos, it works!! This keeps surprising me all through Vietnam, the chaos works. rules of the road are not required. the only rule is beep your horn and you can go in any direction you like, threw any gap you like, regardless of anything else!! we finally made it into the city centre. I have my map poised which was a good thing as he decided to do a sight seeing tour - no no, just hotel, i say!! haha, no, after going round the same three streets 3 times, I say, no no you have been here many times, stop now! this makes him realise Im not totally stupid (just partially) and we finally end up in road opposite the alleyway to my hotel. 15 dollars it cost in the end!! thats many times more than the price agreed but as I later find out not that bad based on other travellers stories of their first taxi ride including my mate James (from NZ who i meet up with) who paid double that!!
The guesthouse (Vy Khanh) is a small quaint little place down a smaller quaint little alley and I think, hello Vietnam, im here!! nice place, nice people. I then decide to have a wander about. It takes me a while to get the courage to cross the roads, you have to simply look at the point you want to get to, make sure theres nothing bigger than a moped coming and then go!! The rules are a bit like paper rock scissors - pedestrian is bottom of the pile, then cycle, then moped, then car, then bus, then lorry. The problems start when lorry meets lorry or when car thinks its bigger than it is, who gives way - hahaha, no one - the road just gets wider, paths are used, whatever is used. I shall explain more when I talk about going to the mountains!
Anyway, afater a few attempts at the roads, I become immune to the noise and threats of imminent death and just keep thinking, they have to avoid me! simple!
Exhausted, I sit and decide to watch the world go by with a tiger beer. Sound tip for travelling here, sit and watch with a beer!! Within minutes, I have offers of moped trips, books for sale, tissues for sale, more books, more tissues, cigarettes, fans, you name it, people come up and want you to buy it. Its easy I think, ive handled this before in Africa and other asian countries, just be polite and say no. They know this though so produce a top trump - a young child asking you to buy it! they stand right by you, with big brown eyes pleading in their dirty clothes. Its not fair!!! okay so I ended up with two books, two tissue packs and some gum. Not bad, i could have come off far worse but at least ive bartered with them - they may be kids but im still not getting totally ripped off. Unlike James - within hours of me landing the poor guy is clearly in need of assistance. James and I met as friends in NZ and he heard I was coming over to vietnam. He had arrived the day before and had never been anywhere like it before. We met and i havent laughed so much in ages. He has basically been ripped off more in 24 hours than I wish to be in Vietnam in the whole time here - and indeed he carried on being ripped off. We went to the markets and I was like a jedi knight in his ear offering advice on prices etc as I was going to pee myself laughing so much if I just left him to their callous ways! It sort of worked. when I was with him and he paid for things it was okay, not a bad price. Left on his own, disaster. He'd buy a drink off the side street stalls, Id go and get one and i'd end up paying half of what he did!! brilliant!
ANyway, after a few days in HoChi Minh and me laughing way too much for my own good. We headed to the Cu Chi Tunnels for a day of vietcong. It was brilliant. The video we were given to watch before heading to the tunnel area in the jungly bit was just hysterical. I know it shouldnt have been and indeed not everyone was laughing. But how are you suposed to react when they have commentary over the war clips such as "but for the american evil devils, this young sweet innocent farm girl would not have had to shoot so many american devils" . All true probably but so funny. anyway, having tried not to laugh, we headed to the tunnels. Deep breaths, god they ware small. Made bigger for tourists. They demonstrate the original size with a vietcong man getting in and out of the hole in the ground. I could have had a go but it was evident just from looking my feet wouldnt get in let alone my hips and arse!! Id have been winnie the pooh stuck in the honey pot! The other tunnels were bigger but still small and after the first attempt where I did a girlie eek and ran out, I went back and made it 30 metres out of the 100 of that i am proud. It was so claustrophobic it was unbelievable. Thankfully my tensions were relieved by shooting an AK47, some people were dubious. Not me! Couldnt wait. It was fantastic. The target was demolished. I did get some crap in my eye and burnt my finger off the gun, but what can you expect with 30 year old pieces of equipment! Having seen my shoot, a Finnish girl Anna took the opportunity to do the same. We spent the evening chatting and it then came about she had dated Sammy Hyppia - maybe maybe not but it was a good night.
After Ho Chi Minh/Cu Chi tunnels James and I decided we may as well travel together for a bit as we were going in teh same direction and it would save costs. We opted initially for the bus to Mui Ne. This is a small beach area with lots of kite surfing. Nice but I'd just been to Fiji and was off to bali so sunbathing strangely for me wasnt at the top of my agenda. I got on a moped and headed up to the local village for a walk about the market and a look at the fishing village. The kitesurfing was amazing to watch and I would have had a go but the winds were too strong - oh well, maybe another time!
After Mui Ne we headed to Dalat in the mountains. The bus journey was hairy to say the least. The roads were non existant in places, and traffic doesnt stay in the correct side of the road. Overtaking was the best. I have never heard so many swear words from James in my life! Going round the hairpin bends up the mountains and overtaking on the bend without seeing whats coming - you dont need to - just beep and its fine - NOT! Lorrys coming towards us, lorries with cars overtaking them coming towards us. at some points, and this applied to all bus journeys, there were 6 lanes of traffic on a one lane road! how does that work. It does, well except the bus that crashed down the side of the mountain killing all 10 russian tourists!
Dalat was a strange place. Described in the books as an Alpine village. It is a bit, well its up a mountain and has french influences - always odd I think to see a vietnamese man wearing a beret! anyway, many people go there from Vietnam to honeymoon. Its nice but not that nice. I suppose again showing how different a communist country is from home.
As i was only going to spend a couple of nights here, I decided to do a day tour around as the thought of a moped didnt thrill me - more chaos but with hairpin roads!! James and I did a day tour. The tour was with vietnamese people so our views of the places visited differed from theres. They were so overexcited especially with the Valley of Love!! Its a place to go to where you can see great scenery and have photos of the valleys. Well yes so long as you dont mind neon signs with love flashing, or big hearts, or cartoon characters in the pics its okay! However this was the place I first experienced fame! we sat on a bench, thinking what the .... and loads of vietnamese school kids came up for photos with us!!! I couldnt understand it at first, then realised its no different to me taking pics of them! Its quite simply we are a novelty and are different and they love it, just as we do! This became even more apparent in Mai Chau in the mountains of the north where I watched some traditional dancing with locals and all they wanted to do was take my picture!! brilliant!
After Dalat, we headed (James decided to come with me as he was still being ripped off) to Nha Trang another beach place but with some old temples worth seeing. Another hairy bus journey but we arrived safe and sound if not a bit battered and bruised. I must add throughout all this, when stopping anywhere, everyone had been so friendly. I was asked to sit and drink with locals, we chatted to them, they were lovely.
Nha Trang was okay. big beach resort with high rise hotels. Not my thing. I had a wonder and persuaded James to go and see the main temple. It was hot but a fantastic morning. More pics with people and me.

Then from there to Hoi An which had to be my favourite place after Saigon. It was small town with little roads, few mopeds (well still alot but less than anywhere else) and despite having arrived at 7am after 12 hour overnight bus journey which included a pit stop in a cockroach infested cafe and even worse (but necssary) squat toilets, it was a great place. We tried a few places to stay but they were full and in the end opted for the hop on a moped with the bags option and get taken to some randomn place. To be fair, this random hotel was actually fab. $20 for a plush hotel with massive pool! not bad! Hoi An is the place for getting clothes made and having had most of mine trashed by now, or become too big (not from weight loss though more likely stretching) i had a couple of dresses made, one skirt and a pair of trousers for about $30. not bad. They arent brilliant but they will do for now. Leaving James to get more sleep I headed out on the bicycle around the town, out into the paddy fields and off on a mini adventure. During that time I had my fortune read, met a man with an Ox who let me stroke it and I could have sat on the Ox if I had wanted but it looked overworked as it was and I thought the last thing it needs is me sitting on it! I watched kids fishing, people working the fields and cattle. It was just lovely. One of the best days there.

Sad to leave Hoi An we headed to Hue where it rained and hasnt stopped until today. James wasnt well and I headed off into Hue for a little look around in the rain. I opted for the cyclo option and sat back whilst someone else took me about. The man cycling was telling me what had been bombed in the citadel area by the americans and that he was 3 at the time and clearly didnt like the americans. Cant blame him! It was a nice part of the city but that was all. The rain continued, and with nothing left to see we decided to get the overnight train up to Hanoi.

The train was brilliant. Well, the bunks were dirty, it was smelly and noisy but we couldnt see any traffic coming towards us, as we did in the buses, the beeping wasnt there and we could walk around. I managed to walk the length of the train and run into men carrying 100's of live blackbirds in crates, some with lids, some without, the noise and state of them was awful and i made up my mind I wouldnt be eating that night!! No other problems, train was great. loved it. kept looking out at the stops and seeing the hawkers selling things to the passengers. definitely best journey.

Hanoi was okay. Is okay I should say. We arrived 5am and headed in a taxi to the hotel I had thought sounded okay from the bible (lonely planet). We arrived and the night guard was asleep but took our bags and told us to come back at 8am! brilliant, it was pouring with rain, we were in a side street which hadnt yet woken up with rats in running around. No where was open. This is the time we wish the communists would let in 24 hour McDonalds! As I sat there on the side of the street with my rain poncho on and James smoking his way furiously threw 20 ciggies, I realised I should be upset or stressed or angry but was not at all. I just sat blank waiting. I hadnt realised before until this point how much I had changed over the years and how much I had sort of given up on things. To me sitting here in teh rain with no where to go wasnt that bad, it wasnt that important and was nothing compared to how I had felt over the last few years with things. Stupid I know, whether its a good thing or bad thing I dont know. But its how I am now. It explains alot!

It wasnt quite so great when the houses opened up, the stalls set up and fish were being battered to death, chickens cut and frogs being carried around (later to have their heads cut off) - I did have to cover my ears for a while and couldnt eat for a bit longer.

When we finally got the room about 10am in the end, wet and tired but alive, we headed for a wander and a drink. Hanoi is nice, its smaller than Saigon but just as noisy. I find it a bit more claustrophobic as the roads are smaller but its okay.
As with all places in Vietnam I realised theres not much to actually see, in terms of great temples etc, its about the people and how life is here. Its a place to sit and watch the world go by and this is what we did in the evening with our 3000 dong beers, (50p(. Its a crazy place.

For the last two days I have been to Mai Chau in the hills staying in a homestay. This is a stilt hut with a blanket on the floor and a mosquito net. Its great. I met a girl Lottie on the trip, she is 20 and was the only other person who spoke english on the tour (4 of us in total in an old army jeep). She is a fantastic person. So young but well travelled, well educated, fun and interesting. AFter cycling and walking on the first day, we found out it was the first Kings birthday celebration weekend and we were invited to a random party in the paddy fields with dancing and fires and karaoke!! They had a tv and mikes in the middle of this field and we had to sing a britany song - Lucky!!! i think it was the most surreal moment of my life. Im surrounded by vietnamese people, with communist flags, celebrating a dead kings birthday, in a field singing britany spears. Need I say more!!!
I dont think I can say more. More has happened in Vietnam and I could talk for hours bt i realise this is more than enough!!!

Im done with the mopeds and noise now and I am quite happy to lie on a beach for 17 days in Bali!

written by

Sarah Coles on April 6, 2009 from Hanoi, Vietnam

from the travel blog: Sarah's Voyage from South Africa to Hong Kong

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