Raw Hide

Tupiza is a country town. They play country music, have rodeos and live in cactus country. Hence, I was pretty stoked to be going on a 2-day horseback trek. I signed up with Elissa, an Aussie that also wanted to see the salt flats, but had to change plans cause she couldn’t wait for the blockades to subdue. The tour company asked us our experience, which is little for the both of us (although Elissa took riding classes when she was younger than she can remember). I guess they have docile, medium and crazy horses – we got medium based on our previous experience.

On the first day we were given vinyl chaps that were actually vinyl flooring with velcroe, but did the trick just fine. I was wearing my new plaid shirt from Cochabamba's second hand market along with my beard and cowboy curls. Even the "chaps" made my hiking boots look somewhat like cowboys boots. I looked the part. And by 'part' I mean awesome!

Anywho, we left town for a rainbow scape of mountains - white salt-licked mountians, contrasted by rich red soiled mountains, alongside grey mountains peppered with cactuses. The natural high of the experience was amplified when Franz, our guide, booked it galloping. Not to be outdone, my horse took-off without command and we were racing a creek through a valley towards insane rock formations - where we stopped for a break. The rush certainly made my camera smacking my arm not seem so bad at the time.

Later, on our way to lunch, Oscuro (literally "Black" - the name of my horse) took off running again. At this point my back pack unzipped from the consistant up and down. Thankfully, Franz recovered my t-shirt. During lunch I realised my snacks fell out too. Oh well.

We had lunch under the shade of some huge trees beside a fast-flowing river. Lunch was delivered via motorcycle and I'm not sorry to say it was late. It gave me a chance to refill my filter-water bottle. That was a real bonus cause I lost that earlier and received a replacement in Cochabamba. Thanks Mom!! ...I also had the chance to take a nap in the shade. Although, I couldn't seem to get comfortable. It felt like there was always a rock under my butt. Once I was back on Oscuro I realised the bouncing up and down was the cause.

During our final stretch Oscuro was antsy. That ...horse didn't want to walk - only trott or gallop. Franz figured he was impatient and wanted to get to food, water and shade. What that meant for me was more ass-slapping fun. I gotta admit though, he sure was exciting when he got going fast. The odd time there'd be a dip or hole and he'd jump over. I'm still not sure if I was ever in control. He'd listen to faster, but fought me like hell when I wanted him to slow down. Once again, some stuff fell out of my bag. This time Franz brought me back my back my toilet paper. That evening I figured out that my precious water bottle also took flight! Ah well, what can you do.

I was a little disappointed that we didn't get to camp, but that desire was gone got to our hostel. It was rustic. Found in a beige village of adobe houses, this place had two floors - one with nothing but beds and the other with a kitchen and a table. While waiting for dinner I played the neighbour's boy at UNO. That kid cheats, so it was fun to beat him. hehe

After dinner, Elissa, Franz, the nice lady who cooked our meal and I played UNO over a few beers. At one point I felt the back of my pants, which was wet. I didn't remember having a wet fart, but was scared I shat my pants. I played out the games and beers, planning on checking the situation before I went to bed.

Upon inspection I was releaved to find bowel-control was not the issue!! Instead, riding Oscuro had chafed my butt, leaving me with a red rorchach nicely folded together. The chafe had been weeping and even bled a little, leaving my pants now crusty. Yeah, it's disgusting, but imagine how my butt felt!!

Elissa and I had a good laugh while falling asleep over how awkward it'll be to explain to Franz. In reality, it's surprisingly not. He just laughed.

Getting on the horse this morning was hell. And Oscuro's angst hadn't left either. When Elissa's horse would walk, mine would trot at the same speed. He helped the saddle slap my chafed ass all day. The only time both Oscuro and I were happy was when he was galloping. I could stand up on the styrups and he could sprint - sometimes off the path and a few minutes outta the way. hehe, and about an hour after I left the hostel I realized my bracelet that Flor had made me fell off during the night. That sucks cause it was a cool bracelet.

Finally we got back to the hostel. The first thing I did was wash my pants and undees. My pants look surprisingly well, but my undees look like I wasn't prepared for that time of month. I hope they dry fast, as I have a bus to catch at 4am. I can't see how I look walking now, but I imagine I look like I spent the night in prison - walking no faster than my 94 year old grandpa. To top it off, my pants are wet, so I have longjohns underneath shorts. To compensate, I have about 5 layers of shirts to keep warm. I look rediculous. Elissa thinks I look like a man wearing everything I own.

I also found out that my toothbrush, toothpaste and floss flew out of my bag during the trip. Karma is either kicking my ass for something I did or I have real good luck coming my way!!

written by  ryanmyers on June 4, 2009 from Tupiza, Bolivia
from the travel blog: Ryan's First Sabbatical
tagged Horseride
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