Funeral

At dawn, the family gathers and says their final goodbyes. Instead of being dressed in all white, each person is now dressed in all black. Men wear barongs and those in the family have a black ribbon placed on the side of the sleeve.

To say final goodbyes, each person is given a very public moment to say goodbye. There is an order of these moments and very hierarchical. It started with my grandmother’s sister who had her time to say goodbye. This was followed by my grandmother’s children…then the women (Tia Ofel went first…since she is married to the oldest brother)…then the men…then the grandchildren…then great grandchildren…then the help was also given a chance to have their own moment to say goodbye. What struck me as different was this entire event was filmed on video and after each person had their chance to say goodbye, a picture was taken with the body.

Afterwards, a prayer is said and the funeral procession begins. Each person is instructed to leave the house and is told to not forget anything because they will not be allowed into the house until after the body is put into the ground. They are serious about this. Once you leave you cannot come back into the house. Once everyone is out, the flowers are taken out. This is then followed by my grandmother. My grandmother is the last person that will leave the house. Once she is out of the house, the coffin is spun three times clockwise…then three times counterclockwise. As this occurs, a pot is broken and the necks of two chickens are cut. It is believed that no one is allowed back into the house once they have left because the spirit will be able to follow you back in.
The coffin is spun to confuse the spirit so that they don’t know how to get back into the house. The chickens are sacrificed to scare the spirit away from the house….and the pot is broken for some reason that the old women couldn’t exactly explain why.

The coffin is then placed onto a horse drawn carriage and a parade through the streets of San Nicolas is held. The band leads the parade down the city streets, followed by the coffin, then the family, and then everyone else. This procession starts at 7 AM and being on a Wednesday, everyone stops and views the parade…from the business that we pass to the schools.

Once we reach the church, the funeral rites are conducted. Family pictures with the body are captured one last time. After the mass service, the procession through the streets occurs again, but this time will lead us to the cemetery.

The mausoleum where my grandmother is placed also contains my grandfather and my great-grandmother (my grandfather’s mother). Prior to putting the body in its final resting place, all the jewelry is removed and my grandmother is given a sack of money to provide to the person who accompanies my grandmother on her journey through the next life.

After the body is sealed up, everyone heads back to my grandparents home. However, prior to entering the home, immediate family has to engage in a cleansing. This cleansing is done traditionally with vinegar (although they told us that they were using heated white wine). Any skin exposed is thoroughly washed and a slap on the forehead is received prior to being allowed entry into the house. All guests are fed with a meal. This then ends the day.