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Obligatory East Coast Adventure: Day 11

Rockhampton, Australia


Stiiiiill pissing it down so we gave the National Park a miss this time because trees and soil are only fun in the sunshine and carried on towards Rockhampton and the Olsen Capricorn Caves so called because a bloke called Olsen discovered them and they're right near the Tropic Of Capricorn. Just in case you hadn't guessed. We both like caves so we rocked up, paid our cash and waited for the 1 hour tour.

These caves are above ground, you can go on all kinds of exciting tours including ones for the more experienced caver which involve squeezing yourself through holes that were clearly not designed for humans to fit through. These kind of tours aren't for us, we preferred to use the big hole conveniently placed at The Entrance which was still a pretty precarious effort, it's times like these I really wish I'd renewed my medical insurance.

Anyway, after the general oohing and ahhing that accompanies looking at pretty things we carried onto Rocky itself, the beef capital of Australia as the various statues of cattle not to mention the over sized and slightly terrifying bovine that welcomes you to the town keep reminding you. We checked into the YHA Backpackers and decided to spend a couple of nights here just doing nothing. Nothing at all. Not a thing. Nada. We spent the next day chilling out in the lounge, watching DVDs and generally being drooling couch potatoes because sometimes its just nice to stare blankly at a screen of moving pictures with an overly dramatic soundtrack.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 9, 2007 from Rockhampton, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and EastCoast

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Obligatory East Coast Adventure: Day 12 & 13

Seventeen Seventy, Australia


Beef consumption in Rockhampton is compulsory so we munched on a steak at the Great Western before driving down to the much raved about Town Of 1770 and Agnes Waters. We arrived on Sunday and spent the entire Monday trying to work out what people love so much about this place, we drove around, we went to the beach, we checked into the right backpackers (Cool Bananas) and consumed alcohol. Maybe you just need money to enjoy a place like this but the thing is, as pretty as each of these little East Coast towns are, each one is just more of the same. Once you've seen one you've seen them all.

Then I heard people talking about the Scooter Roo tours, they put you on a Twist And Go chopper and take you around town. Irma doesn't have a drivers license, rumour had it they never check but she didn't want to risk it. It took Tooheys Extra Dry and letting her win at Yammit (a little known, very simple and highly addictive card game with absolutely no skill involved that I learnt in Echuca) to convince her to stay another night.



permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 12, 2007 from Seventeen Seventy, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip and EastCoast

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Obligatory East Coast Adventure: Day 14

Seventeen Seventy, Australia


Ok so the ScooterRoo tour didn't start until the afternoon so I duly dragged myself out of bed for the morning $14 group surf lesson, again without Irma because drowning isn't her idea of fun. As you travel from north to south, Agnes Waters is the first place with anything resembling surf, its out of the Tropics as well so despite the stinger warning signs there really isn't anything in the water dangerous enough to worry about. That was until I got in brandishing a large piece of fibreglass anyway, I can't say I conducted myself with grace and style as I flapped about in the water atop my board trying to get on a wave.

And yep, that's me on a wave in that last thumbnail there. On a wave. Not on the sand. Nope. Not at all.

It's about a 3 hour lesson and there's quite a large group of you. They put you in pairs, give you a board between you and take you down to the beach where they line you up in the sand and proceed to talk at you. And talk and talk and talk. I'm sure what he was saying was integral to the next 2 hours of my life but it's hard to concentrate while you're sat, slowly baking in the heat, piling sand up in front of you in different shapes in an effort to alleviate the boredom which was reminiscent of double physics lessons. Then no sooner had you stopped thinking about surfing and started thinking about a pint you were up and into the water for your first 15 minutes. It would be you then your partner then you and so on until the 2 hours was up.

15 minutes a time is plenty, its exhausting work dragging yourself and the board out, paddling like a crazy lady and trying to get on a wave. While you're in the water you find yourself wondering at what point they made 15 minutes longer than it was yesterday. Its loads of fun though but I'm not a surfer, I spent most of the time with my arse in the air and my face in the sand, it's gonna take weeks to get the salt out of my sinuses and what was left of my dignity is probably washed up on some deserted beach in Brazil by now. Well I wasn't like I was using it anyway.

No sooner had I gotten home and scraped the sand out of places sand has no right being it was into the ScooterRoo troopy to be taken to the array of bikes they foolishly lend to backpackers and tourists so we could see what 1770 was all about. They were right about the licences, they didn't check. In fact the boss wandered in and asked if anyone had ever ridden a geared bike, not Does Anyone Have a Geared Bike Licence, merely had they ever ridden one. I've got a full motorcycle licence (which, again, they didn't check) so I put my hand up for a 250cc instead of a hairdryer with flames painted up the side and we set off into the countryside to look at some kangaroos and trees and grass and stuff.

It's a lovely ride though and it was awesome to get back on a proper bike after 18 months and one thing I've never done on a motorcycle before is ridden along a sea front as the sun was about to set. It was beautiful. We stopped at the pub to get some potato wedges and settled down on some rocks to watch the sun go down over the Town Of 1770 whilst fending off seagulls who had no concept of backpackers and their attachment to their food. You're out on the road for a good while, it's definitely worth the money and the guy who leads the convoy is a top bloke.

So I just want to thank Irma for indulging me on this one, she really didn't want to stay another night but she did so I could go and play in the sea and on the bikes, it was a brilliant day despite still having a small portion of the ocean sloshing about in my cranium and possibly half of Agnes Waters beach in my crack.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 13, 2007 from Seventeen Seventy, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and EastCoast

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Obligatory East Coast Adventure: Day 15

Bundaberg, Australia


And so it was down a bit more to get to Bundaberg, a popular town with backpackers on account of the fact its on the East Coast, has plenty of seasonal work which counts towards your second visa and is the home of Bundaberg Rum, or Bundy as it's affectionately known by drunk people who can't manage too many syllables. You don't go to Bundaberg without going on the Rum Distillery Tour which you can book at the Visitor Centre, we opted for the Silver tour which gets you an hours guided walk around the distillery from sugar to bottling and a free drink at the end. It's interesting and worth a look, even if its just to say you've done it and so you can buy Bundy Rum from the place itself. And yes, I had the lower alcohol Socially Responsible option at the end on account of having to navigate the Falcon back through the town so we could find accommodation for the night. We treated ourselves to a cube of rum and cola cans though, I didn't have to drive all night.

If Bundaberg is popular with backpackers, why are the backpacker hostels here so evil?? Most of them will find you work as the racks of dirty boots outside the door indicated but every single one we looked at had a strict No Alcohol policy. What the hell kind of sadist sends you out to work in the fields all day then doesn't let you kick back with a mug of goon in the evening? Some of them even had signs up such as "Don't Go To Work, Lose Your Job. Lose Your Job, Lose Your Bed." They all had notice boards full of rules and curfew notices. I had images of gruel for breakfast and barefooted youths singing in ear shatteringly high voices about food, glorious food.

Then there's Cellblock. Whereas the other hostels are like being in prison, Cellblock is a prison, or it was anyway until they converted it. It's expensive but it seems much less miserable and there's a bar which means you still can't bring your own grog but at least you can drink. They still have the walls lined with rules, threats of eviction for not showing up for work and there were at least 5 different notices in the kitchen about washing up including full instructions reminding you to scrape excess food off the plate, wash the dishes in hot water with soap, rinse them, dry them and put them away followed by a patronising "Well Done" and a smiley face. We decided to camp again tonight. Apart from not being in the mood to be treated like 4 year olds we had a cube of rum with our names on it and it'd be rude not to relieve it of a few cans at least.

Even camping here is miserable, we got pissed on by the weather and sandflies, it ended up being the two of us huddled together in my one man tent for the night hacking at the urine stains left on our flesh by the sandflies. Evil little fuckers they are, I mean, if you wanna bite me then yeah, it's annoying but at least theres a point, everything needs food. But don't piss on me you filthy buggers! Rah!

Rant over.

Aaaanyway, now I've gotten that off my chest, lets move on to happier things such as turtles and beaches and stuff.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 14, 2007 from Bundaberg, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and EastCoast

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Obligatory East Coast Adventure: Day 16

Bundaberg, Australia


As well as rum and the worst backpacker accommodation ever, Bundaberg is also home to Mon Repos which is where Loggerhead Turtles come to nest when in season. It just so happened to be right at the start of the season so we booked ourselves some tickets at the Visitor Info centre and rocked up to look at a big turtle squeezing some eggs out of its minge. The things we pay to see. We were told to get down there before 7pm so we did and got savaged my mozzies, I swear everything in Bundaberg is out to get me. It was also bloody freezing and they told us that we might we here for hours before a turtle rocked up, that's even if we saw one, the welts left by the bloodsuckers and the potential hypothermia could all be in vain.

I think we were there for 10 minutes before they rushed in, a turtle had started crawling up the beach early tonight, we were herded to where she was and were grouped behind her. She couldn't hear us, our frequency is different to theirs and she couldn't see us so she began digging her little hole for her eggs, completely oblivious to the hoard of people stood gaping at her arse. Once she started laying that was it, she was committed. We were allowed to move around as the team measured her, checked for tags and wrote down stats then we were given a short window where we could take photos, not too many though, as the guy pointed out, one photo of a nesting turtle is pretty much the same as another.

And to be honest that would have been fine for us. We were cold and itchy and just wanted to head back and buy fish and chips from the van out the front but they wouldn't let us despite a subtle attempt to slink off into the dark, we were stuck here until she'd finished laying and gone back to the water. That's the last time I pay for nature, I'll stick to David Attenbrough shows from now on, at least you can watch stuff breed from the comfort of a warm room with a pizza and a drink.

Ok, obviously Bundaberg didn't set my world on fire, mainly because of the weather and accommodation I think but its definitely worth a look. The rum tour is cool and the turtle thing really is interesting, don't miss out on it just because I'm a miserable, cynical bitch without insect repellent.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 15, 2007 from Bundaberg, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and EastCoast

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Obligatory East Coast Adventure: Day 17

Fraser Island, Australia


I'd like to start this post with a small interactive exercise. Reach into the top drawer and remove your List Of Things Not To Bother With Ever Even If You Have All The Time In The World, Are Acually Dying Of Boredom And If You Don't Find Something To Do Soon You'll Be Reaching For The Razor Blades. Now, take a pen and write the following in large, capital letters at the top of the list: "Mystery Craters near Bundaberg."
They're some holes in the ground in someones garden and for $6 they let you walk around and marvel at the... well... mystery of the craters. Apparently no one knows how they were formed, probably due to lack of interest and the highlight of the event is the completely random fibre glass model of a cartoon T-Rex. But just in case you're one of these people that simply has to do something they've been advised not to just in case they're missing out on something, here's a photo of it to make sure you don't go squandering good drinking money on something you could recreate with play-doh in your own living room.

There. Now aren't you glad I'm here to make your mistakes so you don't have to?

Anyway, we made it down to Hervey Bay and booked into Woolshed Backpackers because they have double rooms for $23 each a night which is pretty cool considering we'd been paying about the same if not more for shared dorms and definately good because we were getting closer to Brisbane and there was still no sign of this drought I'd been promised. We were rained off the next day and spent the day watching DVDs and trying to decide which Fraser Island tour to go on once the rain subsided. Lets face it, it doesn't matter how pretty it is, an island made of sand is gonna be miserable in the wet.



permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 16, 2007 from Fraser Island, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip and EastCoast

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Obligatory East Coast Adventure: Day 18

Fraser Island, Australia


Irma had mentioned renting bicycles a few times but I figured it was a Dutch thing and she could be easily distracted from the subject by windmills and clogs but today I relented and we hired some from the hostel because the weather had picked up and it'd be a nice way to see the Esplanade. We armed ourselves with a couple of sexy helmets and plenty of water but alas we forgot to pack the steel knickers and I spent the entire day wondering what evil was responsible for a mode of transport that makes you hurt in places that should never have to feel pain apart from during childbirth and even then not with the right drugs. See this is why Holland is so fucking small, it's not easy to reproduce when you've all crushed your genitals riding to work every day.

We got as far as the pier and rode back via the pub but its a nice enough ride despite spending the ensuing three days feeling like I'd been kicked in the cunt. They have all these exercise things all along the front like rowing machines and push up benches and of course cycling machines for the masochist at heart. At least our bikes got us somewhere.
I decided that Hervey Bay wasn't the place for me, far too energetic. We got back to the hostel and limped to reception to book our Fraser tour.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 18, 2007 from Fraser Island, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and EastCoast

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Obligatory East Coast Adventure: Day 19

Fraser Island, Australia


Like the Whitsundays there's shit loads of choice when you go to Fraser Island. The most popular are the 2 night 3 day self drive tours but you can also get guided tours ranging from one to three days or you can take yourself and your 4WD over and explore it that way provided you can be bothered to get all the permits needed to camp or visit certain areas. Because one day was enough for us for the Whitsundays we figured one day would be enough for Fraser so we booked ourselves onto a big coach for a one day tour. We also thought if the rain didn't hold off it'd be crap to camp overnight and we couldn't really afford anything too big. I discovered that morning I'd managed to max out my credit card which meant I'd gotten through a £2000 loan plus an extra £400 on top of that. Yep, that's pounds, not dollars. Bring on the overdraft.

Fraser Island is basically a huge pile of sand that trees have managed to grow on, there are no sealed roads because you can't tarmac over sand and people frequently get bogged because someone thought it'd be a good idea to lend 4WDs to backpackers and tourists who have no idea how to use one. White settlers were interested in it for logging and promptly took over it, now its totally protected and you need a permit to wipe your arse. It's gorgeous though, you can see why they restrict access.


The Rainforest
Oh come on, I'd just spent three weeks in Cairns and Cape Tribulation, I've kinda run out of things to say about trees. Yes, they're lovely and green and pretty and would make a nice coffee table.


Eli Creek, Coloured Sands And The Maheno Shipwreck
We hit the main beach that runs down one side of the island and also doubles as the main highway, you have to be careful of tides though or you risk getting stranded. As the driver tore up the sand, swerving to avoid the salt water lapping up the shore, on and island made almost entirely of sand he managed to find a rock and hit it thus putting the bus out of action for 90 minutes. Fortunately he did this right near Eli Creek. Well there are worse places to be stuck I guess.

All the water on Fraser island is fresh water right up until it hits the ocean. It's crystal clear and good enough to drink if you can put the image of hundreds of people a day swimming in it and walking through it while smothered in suncream and insect repellant out of your head. Eli Creek is really nice, we spent our time there just wandering up and down it and wondering when they'd get the bus fixed. eventually they did and we were on our way to look at some sand that was pretty colours and a shipwreck.

This is where it started feeling rushed. Because we'd lost so much time it was literally a case of jump out of the bus, take a photo and jump back on again before we drove on to Lake McKenzie, one of the more famous landmarks on the island.


Lake McKenzie
The driver had managed to arrange a later ferry so we could still fit the lake in but we still only had half an hour there which I was gutted about because this was what I wanted to see the most with its white sands and fresh, blue water with no stingers or stonefish or sharks or anything else that might take a fancy to your limbs. Its awesome here, if you get a chance to visit you totally need longer than 30 minutes to frolic in the water and chill on the beach.

And I don't care what you say, Irma, I totally won that dunking competition. That's 2-1 to me. Yeah it is. Ha.

Anyway, one day isn't enough here. Hopefully at some point I'll be able to come back and see it properly.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 19, 2007 from Fraser Island, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and EastCoast

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Obligatory East Coast Adventure: Day 20

Brisbane, Australia


Due to lack of funds we just mad dashed to Brisbane today and arrived early afternoon. All we missed out on was Noosa (another same as before seaside town) and Australia Zoo and that's where I'll finish this road trip story because it's already reached mammoth proportions and I'm sure most of you that have even got this far have things you need to do like eat or shave the hair that's grown as you've waded through all these words.

If you're bored enough to start considering a quick visit to the Mystery Craters why not check out some photos instead? Go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/ohfuckkit/sets/72157603392593296/detail/ and marvel at the iced coffee and pie fuelled road trip that was the East Coast of Australia.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 20, 2007 from Brisbane, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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Big Things #30

Cairns, Australia


I think this big thing in Cairns, Queensland is a swordfish.

Whatever it is, life can't be easy when your face is classed as an offensive weapon.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on October 26, 2007 from Cairns, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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