hopefully more soon! love you all...

written by  theresa on October 31, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
tagged Healthcare, Corruption and Shortabg
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i was sitting outside a friends home waiting for their return and decided to "beep" my mom. it's really too expensive to call her from my cellphone, so this was my attempt to get her to call me back...but i heard her voice for only a moment and couldn't handle it! speaking with her for only once in three weeks was too little! so i went to call her from an international call box (much cheaper, bad connection..always). was good to catch up...even if it was for only 15 minutes. i used to call her twice a day for triple that each time!!!!

NOTE: "beeping" is the cameroonian tradition of calling a person and hanging up the moment it begins to ring. this is a way to say many different things, including "hi" "call me back" "i'm waiting for you" "where are you?" "here's my number" etc etc etc. it all depends on the situation. one of the main reasons beeping came into existence is probably because of the expense of airtime. people have the tendency to speak on the phone for less than 2 minutes and to hang up without saying goodbye.

anyways ...my mom chewned me (scolded me) for not writing on this as much as i had hoped. the reason for this is mainly my discouragement with the work i've been doing. you see, it's nothing like what i intended to be doing. speaking with the program director and with the doctor, i had acquired images in plenty of what kind of medical care i would be given the opportunity to provide along side a quoted "amazing, dedicated" doctor. i honestly tried to have no expectations but after being here for 3 weeks i realize i very much had expectations. those expectations included joining in the assessments, providing nursing care, and visiting the difficult to reach poor to provide the same. the first two i've seen in VERY limited amounts....and the last...on no accounts.

i've been offered the opportunity to move elsewhere in cameroon, but even that position isn't what i was looking for. it would be very exciting to go to a very rural clinic as a health educator, but i would be the only medical professional...and my intention was to come to learn and be taught tropical medicine for the underpriveledged. while the excitement of travel intices me, i'm thinking perhaps i should remain in the place i have small community and access to some medical professionals who (while the experience has been small) can teach me SOME of what i came to learn.

the up side to all of this is that things may change. i had the opportunity to be uber honest with the doctor about my frustration with the lack of patient care and after confessing some of my misgivings about staying, it seemed that she also wanted somethings to change.

just to clarify, i do not blame her for the amount of patients that walk through our door. obviously she doesn't have much power in controlling who gets sick with what. what she does have in her control (so i assume) is putting 3 sometimes 4 nurses to work instead of allowing them to sit, staring at eachother for 8+ hours a day. so i have her some ideas about how to do that. for instance, setting up a booth on a busy street so that we can take people's blood pressures and educate them on heart disease and high blood pressure. another idea was to send us out to the community and allow us to knock on doors and do health education visits. and all the while we would be promoting our clinic facility...hopefully encouraging more patients to come. she liked some of my ideas and the beginning of this week already has been an improvement.

yesterday was promising. we drove (unfortunate...because i would've rather hiked through forests to find them!) out to one village and went door to door a little bit. not for any health education yet, but only to set up contacts and make plans for the future endeavours(hopefully sooner than later). this village is quite isolated, except they at least have water, electricity, and a road (tho very bumpy...and in the rainy season i hear it's impassable). so...it was VERY nice to be out of the office showing the people that we really do want to reach them and provide some medical care. in this visit i personally found the doc a little judgemental on how the people came to live in this condition. their houses were definitely run down and clothes were worn and ragged and babies ran around half dressed. you could blame all of this on alcohol if you wanted i suppose. i just like to know the facts though...before i make accusations like that. and even if it is alcohol that they spend the majority of their income on... to really understand them and their circumstances you have to ask why? and what? and who? i can only imagine the structural injustices they face each day. what circumstances of life and government have kept them in the position that they are? "grasshoppers don't have much hope in the face of hungry chickens. " -(something like that) from paul farmer's book Pathologies of Power

also i began to create some health education posters....and i always enjoy putting some of my creativity on display, so....it was fun for me!

so here's to looking up and hoping for more.
miss you all.

written by  theresa on November 10, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
tagged Healthcare and Change
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there's so much blame in the world put on the poor for being responsible for their own circumstances. i find myself repulsed by this especially when it comes from a healthcare provider. DESPITE all the structural injustices, i know too personally the ease by which a person can make choices harmful to themselves as a result of difficult circumstances in life. what i dont' know is what it would be like to have no choice. to be born into poverty, where at times it seems the only escape is through one immoral decision or another, whether it be drug use or prostitution or crime. where healthcare is inaccessible or unaffordable and you know the rest of the world is turning a blind eye while you die. how can a person born into one of the wealthiest families of the world, who's never known hunger or thirst, who's never lacked...how can i judge them? ignore them? forget them?

"rats and roaches live by competition under the law of supply and demand; it is the priviledge of human beings to live under laws of justice and mercy."
-wendell berry
.....

at work i've been making posters. so far i've made four. while i'm slightly enjoying being able to express a bit of creativity, i'm very uncontent with the work. especially when i see patients (what few that we have) go behind the doctors door and recieve medications that i could administer myself. i'm very displeased with the responsibility of the nurses, which mostly has been writing down a patients name and carrying water...until now....now i'm making posters.

....

i've discussed with the doctor my ideas of sending two of us nurses out to the community to do a sort of door to door education program. this isn't what i really would love to do, but i'm sort of desperate to do something...and i feel better walking about this town speaking with strangers rather than sitting in a mostly empty clinic all day. even when it's not empty i feel there's not much point to me being there. it doesn't seem the doctor trusts her nurses to do so much as an IM shot, much less start one of the few IV administrations she's ordered. anyways...there's always excuses about why something won't work, can't work...and if there's no excuses then my prodding seems to typically be ignored. and my mother will tell you how well i feel to being ignored.

...i'm not really sure how all this is going to work out really.

......
BESIDES that...
the social life of cameroon is vey busy...well...mine is. the tradition is that if someone invites you out then they buy your drinks AND they feed you...i've been invited out quite a bit by work friends, friends of those friends, and often by complete strangers. please trust that i'm making wise choices and i hope you can believe i only go out with the ones i know...despite the temptation of grilled meat & onions, fish, plantain, boiled egg (all served with a side of a hot pepper mixture), and free beer. i'm really amazed at the generosity, but every time i go to thank them they seem utterly confused.
it's really enjoyable to go out though. i enjoy watching everyone, seeing everyone interact and talk and rest. the people are very free. by free, i mean that they dance, eat, dress and enjoy freely. i love to watch them dance!it seems the music enters their blood and their body responds. i'm amazed that even the babies can move their booties like professionals. it'd take years for me to acquire the skill of some of these three year olds, i'm telling you! but since i only have a few months to learn, i'm trying to make the most of it :) it's not very difficult to let go though, because their music is GREAT! i'm definitely going to have to get some cds....or something!

oh! and if i'm out later than 630 (close to dark) i'm always seen directly home by at least one or two friends. i hope this comforts a few of you :) a girl i met from belgium was telling me about all the different crimes she has heard of since being here, and since that one day at the clinic with the girl who came in who'd been mugged midday i've been properly scared of being out after dark alone...which probably is wise anyways. i just always wish i could be brave...be above all of that crime business... no worries, family. i don't think i'll overcome my fear of the dark anytime soon.

written by  theresa on November 13, 2009 from Douala, Cameroon
from the travel blog: to africa
tagged Healthcare, Friends, Africa and Poverty
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