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Hard Yakka

Echuca, Australia

I'm over here on a 12 month Working Holiday Visa which means that if I do three months "seasonal work in regional Australia" I'm eligible to apply for a second Working Holiday Visa thus allowing me to stay with the right to work for a further 12 months.

This roughly translates as three hellish months doing a job you don't want in a part of Australia you never wanted to visit. In my case, vine pruning in Echuca-Moama.

I thought I'd try and get this out of the way in winter so I can stop worrying about it, once its done its done and I can apply for a second visa. Also, temperatures can get into the 40s in summer and I'm a firm believer that anything above 30 degrees is meant for swimming, frolicing or taking all your clothes off and lying very still on the beach.

Vine pruning (we're currently trimming Shiraz) is easy enough, it's just boring, mind numbing work and your hands and wrists ache like mad at the end of the first day. I asked one of the lads how long before it stopped hurting. He just shrugged and said, "Ah it never stops hurting, you just get used to it." So that was comforting then.
It's not a stressful job though, once you've got back to the hostel, drained the fluid out of your blisters and emptied the stray twigs and leaves out of your bra you can just relax and try and forget about the dull ache in your wrists.


Making The Right Look Like The Left

Bear in mind I haven't worked in about two months either so all this getting up and doing stuff before 7am is disconcerting but you know the best thing about working apart from being paid?
That Friday Feeling. I forgot how amazing and sacred Fridays were.
The hostel I'm staying in is cool, most people here work in the vinyards or do other seasonal work in the area. Most of them are trying to get a second visa too but there are a couple of Aussies, us foreigners are still trying to work out why anyone would do this work by choice, not neccessity.

Echuca is the Paddlesteamer capital of Australia which would be great if Paddlesteamers were more interesting, there's not much to do here but Melbourne is only a 4 or 5 hour drive away.
See, I'm getting the hang of the Aussie concept of distance, I'd never dream of driving for 4 hours to get somewhere for the weekend in the UK but over here a 4 hour drive is deemed "just up the road." Plus petrol is cheaper here which makes long distance driving less painful, it's about $1.40 on average which is about 60p a litre.

Emma started work at a restaurant in Melbourne on Thursday an all so hopefully we'll be able to get some money behind us before we head off to the next place we want to be which is Adelaide where Emma's brother lives.

I heard Adelaide is renowned for its wine and vinyards.

Oh joy.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 9, 2006 from Echuca, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged Work
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Job Satisfaction

Echuca, Australia

Pruning vines isn't the most enjoyable job in the world so I've been trying to think of ways to make it more bearable and I have decided that if I knew exactly what I was pruning I would find my job more fulfilling and meaningful.

The vinyard I work for sell their grapes to a company in Griffith who turn them into [yellow tail] which apparently they do sell in the UK but I wouldn't have noticed if it didn't have the words "Special Offer" or "Buy 3 For A Tenner" written on the price tag.
So in a noble attempt to keep the Australian economy afloat I tracked down a bottle of [yellow tail] Shiraz which I purchased for the princely sum of $10.95.

Less than a fiver.

The only way this wine could be any more Me is if it came in a box or was in fact Lambrini if Lambrini was to be made from grapes which of course it isn't. I'm not too sure what it is made out of. Alcoholic's Piss, I think.

Anyway, I drank the bottle over the weekend and returned to work on Monday hoping to feel somehow more enlightened but by then we'd started pruning the merlot and the bottle of Shiraz that I had painstakingly consumed seemed somehow wasted. Once again I felt empty and unfulfilled.

There's only one thing for it; extensive experimentation is in order.

If you need me I'll be at the bottle shop.


Edit:

  • hic*


    • You're larrrverly you are arentchoo ay?

  • hic*


    • Gisha shnog.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 24, 2006 from Echuca, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged Work and LovinIt
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    Superiority Complex

    Echuca, Australia


    Big Green Tractor
    Considering that two weeks ago me and Abi (another British backpacker) weren't even allowed our own hammers the fact that they're now trusting me with this shiny green tractor on huge wheels is pretty impressive and as everyone knows, there's a direct corrolation between the size of the wheels and how important you feel whilst dring the vehicle. The pruning finished and we were set to be doing odd jobs fit for a sheila but after no small amount of pestering we were finally allowed to play with use chainsaws and quad bikes in a sensible and professional manner and the tractor was the icing on the cake although it does mean I have to actually earn my pennies as opposed to wandering round with electric saceteurs chopping twigs off vines and getting a tan.


    Check Out The Wheels On That
    Driving a tractor makes you feel important. It could be the fact you're really high up or maybe its the massive wheels but also the steering on it is so light it makes my car feel like lead next to it.
    You can throw a tractor round a tight corner with one hand, it makes you wish you had testicles so you have somewhere to put your other hand whilst driving.

    Oh yeah, did I mention the wheels?

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on September 9, 2006 from Echuca, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged Work
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    Putting Things In Perspective

    Echuca, Australia

    A couple of people mentioned that the Huntsman spider post didn't give an accurate potrayal of the spiders actual size because there was nothing to compare it with so here's a photo of two Huntsman spiders on an adult sized Akubra hat.


    Nasty Shit

    Now stop your bloody whinging and don't come crying to me if you have nightmares.

    They're bloody massive, they look like they could be responsible for a small percentage of Australia's missing backpackers but sort of getting used to them now. Not that I could touch one but I can at least control my bowels when one of them wanders across the posts at work.

    This photo was taken when the lads at work spent the day putting them on their Akubras and wandering up and down the rows with them. I just kept my distance and took photos, politely declining their kind offer of Huntsman of my very own.

    Anyway, tomorrow will be my last day on the vineyard and I have a feeling its going to be the longest Friday in the world.

    Please send vodka and cake.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on September 28, 2006 from Echuca, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged Work and Bollocks
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    Karma Points

    Melbourne, Australia

    In order to get some redemption for a life time of sin I spent yesterday collecting for a charity called Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease and keeping 40% of what I collected. 40% cash, 60% karma points. I can live with that.

    09:00 - Positioned myself out the back of Coles with a tin and a grimace-like smile.

    09:05 - Face began to ache from all the smiling.

    10:00 - Smile started to wobble so experimented with Being Nice To People.

    11:30 - Felt peckish so cracked open a tin of beans. Realised I felt more guilty about eating Safeway beans outside of Coles than I did about getting 40c commission on every dollar I collected.

    12:30 - Concentration lapsed and the ability to say "Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease" diminished rapidly.

    13:45 - Will To Live left the carpark.

    13:50 - Someone bought me an ice cream because they didn't have any change. I'm not sure how this will help the charity but I'm sure in some grand, cosmic way someone, somewhere will benefit from it. Probably just me though.

    14:00 - Gave up on Being Nice and opted for the Pity Vote.

    15:00 - The cold, dead stare of a broken woman must have had an effect because my tin was now full and one lady even donated $20. I felt a pang of guilt over my commission.

    15:01 - Pang of guilt passed.

    15:20 - Went home $70 richer. Not too bad considering I didn't actually do anything to get it.

    Thank you, people with severe lung disease.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on October 18, 2006 from Melbourne, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged Work
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    Employed Again

    Perth, Australia

    On account of the fact I've been concentrating far too much on the Holiday side of my Working Holiday Visa and kind of neglecting the Working side by the time we rocked up to Perth I was desperate for a job.


    Maaike Working Hard
    Aaaanyway, Kliff and Tim saw an advert in a Job Shop window by chance which was casual work setting up and taking down for shows and concerts for a company called Event Personnel Australia (EPA) so we all signed up for it. Its mainly crappy stuff like laying carpets, cleaning chairs or unloading trucks but sometimes it involves twenty backpackers who haven't got a clue what they're doing sticking tons and tons of steel together and hoping it doesn't fall down. Hmm, comforting.


    The Wiggles @ Burswood Dome


    Mash Potato Mash Potato...
    Slightly sinister childrens entertainers, they're huge over here. We set up (bumped in) and took down (bumped out) for them and when we rocked up to clean up and take everything down security let us through to the front to watch the last ten minutes of the show. There were hoards of children everywhere. It was terrifying. And I've never seen such an offensive array of colours in my life, it was retinal rape.


    Robbie Williams @ Subiaco Oval
    Got sunburn and shouted at by Belgians. We also got fed although I can't help thinking its somewhat foolish letting an army of backpackers loose in a free buffet.


    How Many Backpackers Does It Take To Move A Pallet?


    Kylie @ Burswood Dome
    After starting at 7am for the first shift on the Monday I was asked if I wanted to stay on and help with the shows.

    Oh, ok then.

    Even if it did mean I worked a 16 hour shift (ThinkOfTheMoneyThinkOfTheMoneyThinkOfTheMoney) and they had me on stage near the end to set up a prop (DontLookAtThePeopleDontLookAtThePeopleDontLookAtThePeople). That was nerve wracking, the rest of it mainly involved watching the show on a monitor or sitting under the stage. We were allowed to go through to the front for the last two songs an all so I got my Gay Disco fix.

    Easy money.


    God I Hope I Assembled That Thing Right
    During the bump in I was idley wandering through the Dome looking for work when I was accosted and assigned to help assemble the stunt rigging with a man from Botswana called Jerry. The stunt rigging is the thing that carries Kylie over the stage while she sits on a moon and it's Jerry's sole job for the whole production. He puts the rigging up, he takes it down again and this time me and another backpacker called Phil helped him out. During the show I was stood backstage as the Pop Princess herself was performing the number on the moon and Jerry walked past, nudged me and said, "You helped put her up there."

    I prayed to the gods I'd tightened the nuts properly.

    Kylie is totally untouchable though, every time she walked from the stage to her dressing room the area was cleared. Mind you, she's so little you could easily trip over her or accidently crush her underfoot and you just wouldn't want that to happen. It'd take ages to scrape her out of the treads in your trainers.

    All this being catered for has spoilt me, though. A tin of beans or a packet of noodles isn't enough now, I want a buffet full of foods I don't recognise and probably couldn't pronounce anyway.

    The bump out on Thursday was easy enough. We were all handed a colour coded tent shaped like a T-Shirt and we had the whole show packed up in four hours and I found a red sequin which fell off the frock she wears when she sits on the moon and sings Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Yes, I sent it to one of my Gentlemen Who Favour Pastels friends in Denmark.


    Random Information
    I haven't managed to see a lot of Perth yet on account of lack of funds and the weird hours I've been working. A few of us went to Connections the other night which is Perth's attempt at a gay scene. We rocked up before 11pm so it was free to get in and I stayed sober due to the fact EPA hadn't paid me yet. It was odd, I felt like I should have been taking the stage down or something.

    The hours for EPA are starting to dry up which means I'm gonna have to think about getting a Proper Job which is a shame because I love this work. I'm thinking about getting a riggers ticket when I have some cash, its about $1400 to do but its guaranteed work all over the world and you get to walk around with a ratchet spanner and feel important.

    First things first though, I need to apply for my second visa and get my car serviced whilst trying to save enough money to learn to scuba dive, do a sky dive and travel the West Coast.

    I'm gonna need a balaclava, a sawn off shotgun and a fast car...

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on December 11, 2006 from Perth, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged Work
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    The Will To Live Has Left The Dome

    Perth, Australia

    If you happen to catch the Hopman Cup on the telly at all, please spare a thought for the poor bastards that just spent an entire Saturday uncovering the courts when it was 40C outside and all their mates had gone to the beach.

    By Spare A Thought of course I mean Send Beer.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on December 16, 2006 from Perth, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    And In Other News

    Perth, Australia

    Capsicums, known in higher society (which I like to call England) as peppers, are good for two things; Carving amusing faces into and throwing at people.

    Me and Loody found this out when we started work at a capsicum farm last week. Loody already quit to go and be a farm hand in Bum Fuck Nowhere thus once again rendering me the Only Gay In The Village but I reckon I'll stick it out for another three weeks, it's not too bad, most of the day is spent picking and removing the stalks. You know you've spent too long picking when you pick one purely to lob at somones head and you still remove the stalk.


    The Stoner; The Chinese Master; The Demon; The Retard

    The others are a laugh too which makes it bearable, one day was spent plotting revenge on one of the guys girlfriends because she drew on him while he was asleep but I was banned from revenge related activities and branded a psycho after I started making a shopping list that involved a bear trap, some good rope, a big stick and a dark basement.

    Psycho? Moi? That's the last time I try and help someone out.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on January 12, 2007 from Perth, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    Sleep Is Over Rated....

    Perth, Australia

    ....And its a bloody good job it is because over the last 75 hours I've had a not-so-grand total of 9 hours sleep. I've currently been awake for 28 hours after 6 hours sleep and before I slept for 6 hours I was up for 27 hours on 3 hours sleep.

    Without the aid of narcotics!!!

    Do not expect this post to make any sense.

    This is all on account of the fact I landed myself a second job in a nightclub. No, not as a skimpy, no one wants to see my saddlebags swinging in the wind plus if they cranked the AC too high I'd take out half the bar with a nipple and I just don't need that on my mind.

    I'm a glassy at Connections, Perth's gay club. It's usually quite cock-heavy down there but it was the re-opening night so there was a good mix. I also holed myself up on the new outdoor terrace so I managed to avoid too much Hairy Man Nipple Action so I'm not in need of too much therapy right now and the ego has been sufficiently boosted. I am officially hot.

    According to drunk people anyway.


    Shiny Disco Balls @ Connections

    Not A Bad View From The Work Place

    I feel surprisingly great, I feel better than I do when I get proper sleep. I wonder how long I can actually stay awake for using only the power of Red Bull and stupidity.

    Anyways, it's my birthday soon and I'd like a large quantity of amphetamine and an intravenous caffeine drip, please.


    Moving Rooms
    It's surprising and somewhat worrying how many people are actually willing to sit on a wet tin roof next to a lesbian with a lightening rod for a face and watch a storm but this is what occurs in my new room at Rainbow when I'm not sat on the flimsy excuse for a roof watching the sunset over the Perth skyline, drinking goon and wondering exactly how much weight tin can take.


    Sunset As Seen From My Room

    Watching A Storm On A Wet, Tin Roof

    I've moved into the penthouse suite (otherwise known as the staff room) upstairs which doesn't have bunk beds, has a TV, a hammock, a balcony overlooking Perth and a fridge that won't give you E-Coli.

    Going up in the world, me.

    Do come and visit, darling, just mind you don't bang your head on the chandelier now.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 9, 2007 from Perth, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged Work and Bollocks
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    Oops

    Perth, Australia

    I shall now be spending the rest of my time in Perth assembling industrial shelving on account of the fact the capsicum farm asked me not to some back although I can't say as I'm too gutted about losing that particular job.

    It takes a special kind of slack to get fired from a capsicum farm.

    Always knew I was special.

  • wanders off to lick some windows*
    •

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on March 24, 2007 from Perth, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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