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Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line

a travel blog by walbs

After twenty odd years of planning, our Road Trip USA has finally kicked off. Twenty five states in six weeks, counterclockwise from San Francisco to Chicago. Getting our kicks on a music-fuelled odyssey taking in the likes of Haight Ashbury, Monterey, Flagstaff, Arizona (don't forget Winona), Austin, New Orleans, Memphis, Nashville, Asbury Park and Cleveland (which apparently ROCKS!). Buckle up and hold on tight as we hit the black top for the ride of our lives.

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"I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane..."

Melbourne, Australia

Depart Melbourne in a dust storm of biblical proportions driven by northerly winds - consequently have bumpy ride to Sydney.

permalink written by  walbs on April 2, 2008 from Melbourne, Australia
from the travel blog: Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line
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"...on Trans Love Airways"

Sydney, Australia

Setting the mood No.1 : African-American woman at Sydney boarding gate is doing her best Venus Williams impression disputing a line call - "I don't want seat G" she screams at the top of her voice. Straight back to Compton for you missy!

Quaint US custom No.1 : Asked not to congregate in numbers on the 'plane, particularly around the toilets. Poms wouldn't like not being able to queue.

Setting the mood No.2 : Watch "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" about embarking on "a drug fuelled odyssey to the real America". Duke gets caught in a dust storm similar to the one in Melbourne. Looking forward to trashing some hotel rooms.

Strange sight No.1 : Middle-aged woman wearing bilateral Cam walkers. Guaranteed to suffer "economy class syndrome".

Three hours out from Sydney : Realise that Corey Delaney is on my flight wearing his trademark sunglasses and one of those tuxedo T-shirts. Classy.

Courtesy of the Department of Homeland Security, I've now decided that I want to be "arrested or convicted for an offense (sic) or crime involving moral turpitude" as it sounds intriguing. And frankly Mr Bush, if I was alive between 1933 and 1945, do you really think I'd admit to partaking in "persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies". You've got to hand it to the Americans for being up front. If you apply for a non-immigrant visa, they're happy to ask if you've ever been a prostitute, a pimp, a terrorist or if you're mad, expecting honest answers.

Four hours out from Sydney : Just spotted a female Corey Delaney (overweight, sporting an Oz flag T-shirt and wearing Corey's sunnies). Gotta love the ugly Australian.

Obnoxious older woman behind me with ridiculously large sunhat (which she manages to throw at everbody) keeps hitting me in the back of the head.

permalink written by  walbs on April 2, 2008 from Sydney, Australia
from the travel blog: Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line
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"If You're Going To San Francisco..."

San Francisco, United States

Interminable wait at Immigration before being fingerprinted like a common criminal - why didn't they read me my rights or offer me an attorney. Thankfully Mario Hernandez skipped the cavity search and waved me through with a cheery "welcome to the USA, have a nice day!" Hard to take him seriously when he's dressed like someone from Police Academy.

Taxi ride to the Hilton (via the Tenderloin where we saw a bunch of poor folks, none of whom appeared to be able to afford flowers for their hair). Bush's policies appear to be working well in SF. Driver was super-sized and sounded like the presenters on Mythbusters.

Clock says midday, but body thinks it's 0600 hours. Time for a sleep. Got to schmooze with other conference delegates this evening at City Hall.

permalink written by  walbs on April 2, 2008 from San Francisco, United States
from the travel blog: Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line
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"The Crown Jewel"

San Francisco, United States

Welcome reception at City Hall. Apparently there are no pigeons to poo on the city's "Crown Jewel" as they installed a hawk to scare them off.
Sycamore trees out the front are trimmed and ready to burst forth in the coming weeks.
More homeland security - metal detectors, guys in uniforms with shiny badges.
String quartet. Fancy food. Duomo. Not quite the same America I will see in the coming weeks.
Quaint US custom No.2 - like their driving habits, even the escalators are round the wrong way.

permalink written by  walbs on April 2, 2008 from San Francisco, United States
from the travel blog: Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line
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ICEM 2008

San Francisco, United States

Conference kicks off. Melbourne is well represented. Trade display has a Taser stand - didn't realise that this was a piece of medical equipment. Would be useful for controlling any angry surgical registrars (or medical administrators). Conference coffee has a tendency to always be bad, but this is toxic - tastes like warm sump oil ("proudly brewed by Starbucks").
Out for dinner with a bunch (the only collective noun in the States) of Irish, Aussies and Scots. Taxi ride reminded me of the one in "Foul Play" - it's hard to believe you could attempt to drive that fast through the streets of SF. Dinner @ The Slanted Door in the restored Ferry Building (a Vietnamese fusion restaurant - why is everything a "fusion" in Frisco), with its tables of birch and cypress. My first encounter with the unisex toilet concept in the US. Mystery No.1 - why do US toilets have SO MUCH water in them? Haven't they heard of stage 3a water restrictions?
Kicked on to Martuni's, a piano bar featuring Joseph Magdalena (from Brooklyn) where we sang along to the songs of Barry Manilow, Billy Joel and The Pointer Sisters. I expected to see the remaining members of the Village People, but instead saw three of the ugliest "women" I've ever seen. I'd make a better looking man in in a dress and heels (sans beard of course).

permalink written by  walbs on April 3, 2008 from San Francisco, United States
from the travel blog: Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line
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Mad Cow Hollow

San Francisco, United States

Friday night in Cow Hollow lapping up the scene @ Betelnut (Asian fusion - I'll be completely fused shut within a few days). Had to wait over an hour at the bar with a bunch of college girls and fratboys, but it was certainly worth it.

permalink written by  walbs on April 4, 2008 from San Francisco, United States
from the travel blog: Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line
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"San Francisco Bay Blues"

San Francisco, United States

Boat trip to Tiburon on one of the Blue & Gold Fleet. Past "The Rock" and brief stop off at Angel Island to pick up some newly arrived immigrants.

permalink written by  walbs on April 5, 2008 from San Francisco, United States
from the travel blog: Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line
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Mad Woman in "Ark Row" seeks Anger Management

Tiburon, United States

Accosted by crazed woman in "Ark Row" who orders us to walk on the opposite sidewalk for no apparent reason. "Can't you see we've got a professional photographer"...with a compact digital across the road (and behind us). Needed another chill pill (or a Prozac). Despite this welcome, Tiburon was delightful.

permalink written by  walbs on April 5, 2008 from Tiburon, United States
from the travel blog: Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line
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Sausalito

Sausalito, United States

Carb up for bridge climb at malt shop.

permalink written by  walbs on April 5, 2008 from Sausalito, United States
from the travel blog: Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line
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Golden Gate Bridge

San Francisco, United States

Two mile walk across the bridge at sunset. F-f-f-reeezing!

permalink written by  walbs on April 5, 2008 from San Francisco, United States
from the travel blog: Chrome Wheeled, Fuel-Injected and Steppin' Out Over the Line
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