I like Barcelona, it just doesn´t like me back, yet.

I guess you could say that I´m going through culture shock. There, I said it. And here´s the kicker: everyone has all this advice to give and I can´t use any of it. I already AM doing what I can to chill out and just let things happen; to just do things that interest me; to relax and not stress out about the little things. I´m trying.
And these dear friends and family of mine immediately assume they know whats going on; I wish I could say they did. I really believe that I am in a different place than just homesick or just culture shock. I haven´t been "shocked" by any of this. I´m half Venezuelan for chrissakes! Hispanic culture is not completely foreign to me. Eating everything cooked/drizzled/fried in olive oil didn´t freak out my digestive system. I am not afraid to drink the water here. I actually like the food. I am good about greeting/saying goodbye with two kisses on the cheek (go left first!). I understand why a lot of twenty-somethings live with their parents. I don´t think its weird that most of the people here don´t have drivers licenses or own cars. I know that when you go to the bathroom and see pee in the toilet it isn´t because the person is dumb and forgot to flush, its because they are conserving water. I get it, I really do.
I am just having trouble playing by the rules of "how to get by" here. Well, first I had to figure out what the rules to get by in this world were, no thanks to the "orientation" I was put through, and now I´m just trying to live by them. And who knows, maybe that is what culture shock is all about. But I don´t want to give up and go home. I don´t desperately want to leave all of this behind me and go back to what is familiar. I don´t think that life in the United States is better than life here. Aren´t these supposed to be the red flags that let everyone know you´re going through culture shock? I like it here! I just am having trouble playing this game that is supposed to be my life. As a matter of fact, I really have no life. Not yet. If I´m shocked by anything its at the fact that I think the Knox Program has made living here even harder for me, so far. Being a part of a program puts a certain responsibility on you to be a part of that group and being a part of that group places a stigma on you. I spent the first 3 weeks here feeling like a tourist because almost everything I did was as a part of a group, and let´s face it, groups are the big giveaway for tourists. It´s no one´s fault -- not even the program´s -- just a simple fact. And I tried to do what I could to stop feeling like that but I couldn´t get away from it because of this necessity to be a part of this group, a part of this program.
---
So here I am, two weeks into classes, three weeks into living with my host family, and four weeks as a tourist/student in Barcelona. Now that that is out of the way, I can get onto the stuff that is actually enjoyable to talk about.
To explain (because that seems fair), it seems like every introduction to a "travel blog" starts out with this incredible sense of elation and adventure and completely ignores the simple fact that being the new kid on the block really just sucks. If I depress you first, then everything else I write will be so much more optimistic, right? Actually, this is just the best way I could think of to get you used to, well, me. I don´t like to mince words, I don´t like feeling awkward if I want to bring up how I really feel, and I get really annoyed when I couch any negative opinions in statements that start, "I really love it here, but..."
So, great. Let´s see, anything else to get out of the way? (This feels like the first day of classes, when the professor makes you share asinine facts about yourself in the attempt that something will stick with them and help he or she to remember your name.)

I love chocolate and gelato. And chocolate gelato. I´ll probably refer to these a lot.
I´m not very funny but I make up for it in sarcasm.
I appreciate brutal honesty.
I laugh easily.
I am a horrible poker player.
My hand-eye coordination is sometimes questionable, as is my depth perception.
I consider myself athletic, nonetheless.

Well, I guess I´ll just leave it at that -- everything else will come out eventually.

Until I get frustrated enough to rant about something, or excited enough to wax poetic about it... Amanda

written by

achavero on October 9, 2007 from Barcelona, Spain

from the travel blog: Amanda in Barcelona

tagged Introduction and CultureShock

Send a Compliment

comment on this...