Although it is a well-known fact that Marmite eaters repel mozzies, (scientifically proven, in fact: it’s the B11!), it is less well known that dingos are also repelled by Marmite!

Whenever Bert and I venture into the outback, we are firm believers in applying a thin film of Marmite to our infants overnight, particularly when camping in possible dingo territory. An added advantage of this treatment is that the Marmite infants gently adhere to each other, making it less likely that one of the little possums will crawl off during the night!

Of course, I don’t expect you girls to smother yourselves in Marmite (although I did once find this a good emergency substitute when my fake tan ran out unexpectedly). No, what I suggest is that you apply it only to your nether regions. Then you will be able to enjoy solo toilet trips again, completely dingo-safe!

written by  Mrs Mandy Marmite (mother of nine, slight touch of morning sickness!) on November 9, 2006