Crispy Fried Lesbian

No sooner had I finished scraping the sand out of my minge from Xmas I was rendered blissfully unemployed until the 8th January which meant a day trip to the Nekkid Beach in Bunbury was in order.

Here's a fun fact: No matter how much SPF 30+ you smear on your White Bits they still burn.

It hurts to sit down.

It doesn't help that my arse is the size of Wales either, the next time I decide to get my kit off on the beach I'm bringing a 7.5 tonne truck of suncream and a team of slaves to apply it for me with trowels. Must remember to bring the scaffolding too.

I hope it doesn't peel, I really don't want a flakey arse. And what about melanomas? What if I get arse cancer and have to have it amputated? Actually maybe that's not a bad thing, if I could just get a bit sliced off it, just to reduce it to the size of Cardiff or somthing.

Anyway, I'm off to buy shares in moisturiser in an attempt to prevent the skin trying to escape from my arse.

limps away, wincing*

Crispy Fried Lesbian

Bunbury, Australia