3 weeks left - Blogabond

I have, up until now, never had a problem with the idea of going home. I do love living in Germany, even if there are things about German society and the university system which drive me a little bit crazy, but I’ve always had it in the back of my mind that I would be going back home. A friend of mine studied here last year as well, and came back telling me how wonderful Germany would be for me and how she feels more at home there than back in Texas. She wants to live here. Which is fine – I understand the appeal. But that sense of falling in love with life in Germany never hit me. I feel equally comfortable in Germany and in Austin, but Austin is where my friends are and, frankly, a lot more interesting and eccentric than anywhere in Europe I’ve been.

But now that I only have 3 weeks left here, I’m realizing just how soon I’m going to be getting on that plane. And I’m not ready to go. Every weekend when I call home, my mother asks if I think I’ll be ready to go home at the end of July. Everytime I have answered with “yes,” and explained various things I miss about home, or something I’ve deemed ineffective or unnecessary here, or even just that it’s been a long time since I’ve been home. I’m surprised to feel that answer changing – I was so sure that, despite not being homesick, I would ready and happy to go back when I had to. Now I’m not so sure. I just can’t quite bring myself to start sorting through my clothing and books to see what I should leave, what I should send, and what I should pack. I’m still not done with all of my schoolwork and haven’t written in my journal in ages. All of the things I should be preparing to finish up just aren’t working.

Frankly, I’m nervous that home won’t be as good as the idealic image I’ve had in my head this entire time.

written by

lost_red_balloon on July 4, 2009 from Trier, Germany

from the travel blog: The Oldest City in Germany

Send a Compliment

comment on this...