Hell - Blogabond

We woke up the second day to an interesting discovery: my tongue was painful and slightly swollen on one side. Guess what? Lisp.

So, we sat down with the computer and worked up a list of directions that were supposed to take us from Hazard to Helen in about 7 hours. Very VERY detailed directions this time around.

Well, we were doing pretty good till we got to this place called Tellico Plains. I started getting kind of car sick, so I set Russ on a stretch of the directions that were going to be about 50 miles (aka, approximately an hour) and leaned my chair back for the purpose of sleeping. Well, I kind of groggily came to a couple of times. We'd somehow gotten misplaced.

Russ stopped into a gas station to grab me some cheezits and a water bottle to settle my stomach (probably got sick at least in part because I hadn't been able to eat anything with my tongue all swollen) and got directions.

The gas station attendant was a flaming bitch. She stuck us on the Cherola Skyway (or however you spell it). "Yuo'd better get gas here, it's 50 miles till Robbinsville."

52 miles, to be precise. Pretty much a mile up. At 7pm. Without lights. Without any exits or real stops.

Russ started getting aa little sick on the way up, and I still wasn't feeling well, but we stuck with it because it looked like the "short" way. About an hour or an hour and a half later, we finally managed to slither off the hill (I'm pretty much passed out over the door at this juncture). Ten-ish miles to Robbinsville.

Fuck.

I'd had it: 52 miles of curves and ups and downs and I couldn't handle it anymore. Russ pulled over and I staggered out into the grass. Apparently the Sherriff arrived at that juncture, but I wouldn't know because I was apparently ridding myself of more food/water/other beverages than I even knew I'd had.

Russ got directions into town (ignoring or not hearing me for a few minutes as I begged for paper towels) and the sheriff laughingly informed us that we'd just been on the "path to hell". Ha ha ha. So funny. So hilarious. What a riot.

After we left the sherriff, we went into Robbinsville to see about some food, hoping we'd get our second wind and be able to go on to Helen that night (3 hours away).

Well, turned out when we made a stop for me to go to the bathroom that I couldn't stand the smell of food, so we had to give it up (This is also ignoring that I was shaking like a leaf and seeing all sort of strange color).

Pulled into the Microtel, where they also laughed.

Ate a potato and passed out.