Behind The Bundy Bar

If Bundaberg is popular with backpackers, why are the backpacker hostels here so evil?? Most of them will find you work as the racks of dirty boots outside the door indicated but every single one we looked at had a strict No Alcohol policy. What the hell kind of sadist sends you out to work in the fields all day then doesn't let you kick back with a mug of goon in the evening? Some of them even had signs up such as "Don't Go To Work, Lose Your Job. Lose Your Job, Lose Your Bed." They all had notice boards full of rules and curfew notices. I had images of gruel for breakfast and barefooted youths singing in ear shatteringly high voices about food, glorious food.

The Old Cop Shop

Nomming Pizza

Rum, Pizza, Lesbian And A One Man Tent

Even camping here is miserable, we got pissed on by the weather and sandflies, it ended up being the two of us huddled together in my one man tent for the night hacking at the urine stains left on our flesh by the sandflies. Evil little fuckers they are, I mean, if you wanna bite me then yeah, it's annoying but at least theres a point, everything needs food. But don't piss on me you filthy buggers! Rah!

Rant over.

Aaaanyway, now I've gotten that off my chest, lets move on to happier things such as turtles and beaches and stuff.

written by  Koala Bear on November 14, 2007 from Bundaberg, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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I think we were there for 10 minutes before they rushed in, a turtle had started crawling up the beach early tonight, we were herded to where she was and were grouped behind her. She couldn't hear us, our frequency is different to theirs and she couldn't see us so she began digging her little hole for her eggs, completely oblivious to the hoard of people stood gaping at her arse. Once she started laying that was it, she was committed. We were allowed to move around as the team measured her, checked for tags and wrote down stats then we were given a short window where we could take photos, not too many though, as the guy pointed out, one photo of a nesting turtle is pretty much the same as another.

And to be honest that would have been fine for us. We were cold and itchy and just wanted to head back and buy fish and chips from the van out the front but they wouldn't let us despite a subtle attempt to slink off into the dark, we were stuck here until she'd finished laying and gone back to the water. That's the last time I pay for nature, I'll stick to David Attenbrough shows from now on, at least you can watch stuff breed from the comfort of a warm room with a pizza and a drink.

Ok, obviously Bundaberg didn't set my world on fire, mainly because of the weather and accommodation I think but its definitely worth a look. The rum tour is cool and the turtle thing really is interesting, don't miss out on it just because I'm a miserable, cynical bitch without insect repellent.

written by  Koala Bear on November 15, 2007 from Bundaberg, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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The Only Mystery Being Exactly WHY I Paid To See This

There. Now aren't you glad I'm here to make your mistakes so you don't have to?

Anyway, we made it down to Hervey Bay and booked into Woolshed Backpackers because they have double rooms for $23 each a night which is pretty cool considering we'd been paying about the same if not more for shared dorms and definately good because we were getting closer to Brisbane and there was still no sign of this drought I'd been promised. We were rained off the next day and spent the day watching DVDs and trying to decide which Fraser Island tour to go on once the rain subsided. Lets face it, it doesn't matter how pretty it is, an island made of sand is gonna be miserable in the wet.

Rained Off In Hervey Bay

Such A Hard Life

Looking All Dutch And Stuff

Give Me An Air Polluting Car Any Day

Torture Devices

Yah We Look Hot

We got as far as the pier and rode back via the pub but its a nice enough ride despite spending the ensuing three days feeling like I'd been kicked in the cunt. They have all these exercise things all along the front like rowing machines and push up benches and of course cycling machines for the masochist at heart. At least our bikes got us somewhere.
I decided that Hervey Bay wasn't the place for me, far too energetic. We got back to the hostel and limped to reception to book our Fraser tour.

written by  Koala Bear on November 18, 2007 from Fraser Island, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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On The Tour Bus

Crippled Bus

Fraser Island is basically a huge pile of sand that trees have managed to grow on, there are no sealed roads because you can't tarmac over sand and people frequently get bogged because someone thought it'd be a good idea to lend 4WDs to backpackers and tourists who have no idea how to use one. White settlers were interested in it for logging and promptly took over it, now its totally protected and you need a permit to wipe your arse. It's gorgeous though, you can see why they restrict access.

The Rainforest
Oh come on, I'd just spent three weeks in Cairns and Cape Tribulation, I've kinda run out of things to say about trees. Yes, they're lovely and green and pretty and would make a nice coffee table.

Eli Creek, Coloured Sands And The Maheno Shipwreck
We hit the main beach that runs down one side of the island and also doubles as the main highway, you have to be careful of tides though or you risk getting stranded. As the driver tore up the sand, swerving to avoid the salt water lapping up the shore, on and island made almost entirely of sand he managed to find a rock and hit it thus putting the bus out of action for 90 minutes. Fortunately he did this right near Eli Creek. Well there are worse places to be stuck I guess.

Eli Creek

Me And Irma At The Creek

All the water on Fraser island is fresh water right up until it hits the ocean. It's crystal clear and good enough to drink if you can put the image of hundreds of people a day swimming in it and walking through it while smothered in suncream and insect repellant out of your head. Eli Creek is really nice, we spent our time there just wandering up and down it and wondering when they'd get the bus fixed. eventually they did and we were on our way to look at some sand that was pretty colours and a shipwreck.

Maheno Shipwreck

In Front Of The Wreck

This is where it started feeling rushed. Because we'd lost so much time it was literally a case of jump out of the bus, take a photo and jump back on again before we drove on to Lake McKenzie, one of the more famous landmarks on the island.

Lake McKenzie
The driver had managed to arrange a later ferry so we could still fit the lake in but we still only had half an hour there which I was gutted about because this was what I wanted to see the most with its white sands and fresh, blue water with no stingers or stonefish or sharks or anything else that might take a fancy to your limbs. Its awesome here, if you get a chance to visit you totally need longer than 30 minutes to frolic in the water and chill on the beach.

Fresh, Blue Water...

Soft, White Sands

And I don't care what you say, Irma, I totally won that dunking competition. That's 2-1 to me. Yeah it is. Ha.

Anyway, one day isn't enough here. Hopefully at some point I'll be able to come back and see it properly.

written by  Koala Bear on November 19, 2007 from Fraser Island, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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Random Possum Photo From Hervey Bay

Irma's Ashtray From Mission Beach To Brisbane

If you're bored enough to start considering a quick visit to the Mystery Craters why not check out some photos instead? Go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/ohfuckkit/sets/72157603392593296/detail/ and marvel at the iced coffee and pie fuelled road trip that was the East Coast of Australia.

written by  Koala Bear on November 20, 2007 from Brisbane, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill

I'm actually a bit disappointed in the abundence of trees on the alleged One Tree Hill. There's definate tree related activity on that there hill and dammit there's more than one of them. The one tree the name refers to, a Totara, was apparently chopped down years ago. Then it got replaced by a pine tree which was attacked by Maoris and then, well, chopped down. So yeah, it didn't have much luck with its One Tree and all that remains is a stump and a fuck off great big oblisk.

Gregg And Bexster

The Last Bit Of The One Tree

And One Tree Hill is interactive, if you look down into the valley you'll see where people have gathered rocks and made big art such as their names and a large, smiley penis. We made our way down there to make some of our own. Ok well me and Bexster did anyway, Gregg and Kama stood around taking photos and generally mocking our efforts. Slack bastards.

Working Hard

Me, Bex And Our Downs Syndrome Smiley

We stole a circle of stones that was already there, had a brief attack of guilt before deciding that we weren't destroying a great work of art or upsetting anyones dead ancestors and made a slighty spastic looking smiley face.

Cunningly Arranged Rocks

Our Contribution To The NZ Landscape

Mt Eden
After the completion of our Special Needs Smiley and we'd admired it frm the top of the hill we headed to Mt Eden. Apparently you haven't seen Auckland until you've seen it from Mt Eden so we duly rocked up to take more photos of the city from the top of a big hill. The oblisk isn't half as impressive as One Tree Hill but you do get some pretty views and a crazy Asian lady thrusting leaflets about organ harvesting into your hands.

The Four Of Us On Mt Eden

My Girl And Her City

City Of Sails
Random retarded question of the week: "So is there, like, a harbour in Auckland or anything?" I was informed that Auckland IS a harbour then promptly ridiculed. Oh come on, I'm allowed to ask stupid questions, its the tourist in me.

The Harbour

Auckland Harbour Bridge

So the next stop was under the Auckland Harbour (duh!) Bridge for more photo ops and a wander round the marina in the wind. Fuck it was breezy yesterday, probably not the best day to spend mincing around near water or on top of hills but there was one more hill to go.

North Head
Then it was over the bridge to Devenport and North Head where it occured to me that the majority of tourist activities in and around Auckland involve taking photos of the Sky Tower from various look outs and points surrounding the city. I have millions of pictures of it from every angle and I have no idea why because it looks exactly the same no matter where you stand to look at it. I still fucking love it though.

Driving Over The Bridge; Which I Do Every Day

On Top Of North Head

North Head is laced with tunnels all through the hill that you can wander through and explore, its pitch black in parts, darker than a back room at a dodgy gay club but not quite as dodgy on account of all the tourists emerging out of the gloom. You don't really have a chance to give the place a bad reputation. Uh... not that we would, mum...

More About The Girl
And yep, I've met this lass and no, she doesn't seem to have too many Crazy Issues at this stage. She's an Auckland girl who I met at the call centre which means I probably can't keep her once I leave the country, locals just don't travel well once you drag them away from their own bed, couch and their hair straightners, but I'm trying not to think about that at the moment, we're just gonna make the most of what time we have.

A Windswept Kama And Me

Aaaand, I don't think there's much more to tell. She's 21, called Kama, lives out in bloody woop-woop at Muriwai Beach about 45kms west of the city and it amuses me that she always dresses for the office, even on a sightseeing tour of some hills.

Surprised She's Not In Heels An All

Ha, can't wait to see how she copes on the road for 10 days in January.

Photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ohfuckkit/sets/72157608780982328/detail/

written by  Koala Bear on November 9, 2008 from Auckland, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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Kai Iwi Lakes are stunning, unfortunately not so much in the pissing rain. We got the car arranged for sleeping in between rain showers, made a little den with cunningly arranged tarps and sheets then entertained ourselves by taking a million photos of the car and ourselves while we waited for the rain to stop.

It was here I got myself reaquainted with long drop toilets and reminded myself of a few dos and don'ts. Like, DON'T look down one at night whilst wearing a head torch and DO avoid splashback, whatever it takes. I began training my lungs to hold more air so I could start holding my breath for longer.

After a quick dip in the lake we were camped next to coz we couldn't find the showers we settled in for the night and watched a movie.

Roughing it just ain't what it used to be.

Since I moved to Auckland and got a job in a call centre my arse has resumed its campaign for world domination. All my waistbands are that little bit tighter and I can grab the rolls around my stomach and hook it over my knees. Not really about that last bit but that's the way I'm heading if I continue thinking that sitting down is the best thing ever and living by the rule that calories don't count if no one else sees you eat it.

Photographic Evidence Of My Arse's Intention To Take Over The World

Hopefully being back on the road will help me shed those extra kilograms so I don't have to buy new underwear (read: have mum send new underwear over from the UK) coz all my knickers have overstretched elastic and my tits escaped from my bra.

written by  Koala Bear on January 3, 2009 from Kai Iwi Lakes, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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Next stop was at Tane Mahuta, NZ's biggest living Kauri tree. These things are monsters, seriously, never have I seen a bigger tree, its HUGE! It's hard to try and put it in perspective with photography but this is me sat in front of it.

Tane Mahuta

And then we drove. And drove and drove and drove right up to the top of the country where we set up camp for the night at a DoC (Department of Conservation) run site near Cape Reinga called Tapotupotu, set right next to this stunning beach.

Road Tripping

Tapotupotu

Shame I Can't Surf

Toooo Cold For Kama

I tried to drag Kama in for the obligatory Dunking Of The Missus but she was having none of it so I gave up and we settled in armed with a can of mozzie repellant because as beautiful as Tapotupotu is, its full of mosquitos. Its impossible to keep them out of the car and mozzies seem to like the way I taste, they were all over the toilet as well, every time I went for a piss I felt like an all you can eat buffet. Its what it must feel like to be a bit lower down the food chain.

I doused myself in dubious chemicals labeled "Tropical Strength," tucked my pajama bottoms into a pair of thick socks, pulled on a large jumper and snuggled under the covers hoping I'd have at least some of my blood left in the morning.

written by  Koala Bear on January 4, 2009 from Cape Reinga, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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Its also where the two oceans meet and according to the Lonely Planet, on a rough day the seas clash together and generate huge waves. Ah well, we got our wish for nice weather, can't have everything in the world ay.

-makes mental note to work out a way to get everything in the world-

Cape Reinga

Where The Oceans Meet

Making Kama Be A Tourist

After spending a few minutes oohing an ahhing we headed down to the Te Paki dunes where a hippy lady will rent you a sandboard for $15 per hour. This is just about enough time to "get used to your board" on the smaller slope then trek up the Psycho Slope, allow time for your lungs to collapse in on themselves and your calf muscles to wish you a slow and painful death, slide down,lose your hat, try and decide how much the hat really means to you then risk rebellion of your limbs to retrieve the hat before collapsing a few yards short of your girlfriend whilst trying to manage to utter the word "water."

The Psycho Slope

Have you ever walked up a sand dune? Worst. Walk. Ever. And the sand is scorching hot an all, you have to keep stopping to bury your feet in the sand to cool them down. Kama is a firm believer that sand is for lying on, not walking up so she waited for me while I played on the bigger slope.

It was time for a quick, cold shower at the other campsite to remove the small sandpit from my cleavage before we drove down to the gumdiggers park to look at some holes in the ground then it was onto the Karikari Peninsula for a dip in Rotopokaka Lake, better known as Coca Cola Lake on account of the fact its the colour of Coca Cola; A less than healthy shade of brown.

Rotopokaka (Coca Cola) Lake

Apparently its some kind of algae which makes it that colour and its totally safe for swimming and really popular with the locals and no, its not fizzy much to Kama's disappointment. We cooled off and chilled out for a while before heading to the top of the peninsula to Maitai Bay and another DoC camp for the night.