WAR ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

MOTHERFUCKERS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where is my youth???

Where is my everything!!!!!!!!!!

I am growing old!!!!!!!!!!

I was never supposed to!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am giving in!~~!@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am giving up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE IS MY YOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE IS MY FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE IS MY MUTHAFOOKIN ANGER MOTHERFUCKERS!

Stop the SHIT ALREADY! I've HAD ENOUGH OF YOU AND YOUR GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THATS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA GO HOME! HOW CAN I GET A HOLD OF EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW CAN THIS BE HOMECOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE THE MOTHEFUCKIN AM I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How am I supposed to be at Peace!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS PEACE WHAT IS PEACE WHAT IS PEACE WHAT IS PEACE WHAT IS PEACE

THIS IS NOT PEACE THIS IS NOT PEACE THIS IS NOT PEACE

WHERE IS ALL MY POWER Where has my gentleness gone. Where has all my sooth faint lines gone. Now I am hard taught lose and nigh, light lose tight and high. I have lost stuff I didn't know I had. That I was lead to believe I didn't have. Now I am becoming a dead adult zombie like everybody around me.

Wonderful. All that I thought I had, I didn't??? All that I didn't have, I thought I did????

I believed so much about myself, my strength, my resilience, and push against the tides. Now I see my strength wither amoungst the failing tides. Everything I have wanted I have not felt.

Well, that is my realization for the day. The *things* I have wanted to receive, I have more or less. The things I have wanted to feel have not been so easy. Especially when my capacity to feel has been damaged as much as it has....

But maybe if I have hope. I still have hope, for this year and this summer...

written by  napulelehuameae on March 1, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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