Kimberley - Blogabond

I was determined not to get too pissed the night before this tour on account of the fact I had to socialise with a load of people I'd never met before the next day and I generally find this easier to do when I'm not vomiting on them. I was going to drink mid-strength beer and I'd be in bed before midnight and Loody was going to help me accomplish this.

So those plans went out of the window with the bottle of cheap wine and the Jim Beam. Everybody who could make it out to say bye did an all which I wasn't expecting, a few people had to work the next day plus its a mission from the MCG into the Last Resort where I was staying for my last night because dammit, I hadn't slept in a proper bed since Perth and I wanted some comfort before heading into the bush.

Saying Goodbye To The Broome Crew

Ok so I gotta say I was surprised to see a bus full of old people when it finally rocked up but fair enough, they must be ok to do a tour like this, sleeping under the stars and not showering for a bit and to be fair I felt about 75 (Dick's age) that particular morning anyway as I stumbled onto the bus and collapsed at the back, clutching my aching head.
It was definitely going to be different to Heading Bush where we made our way through the outback, terrorising other tour groups and generally being feral but hey, it was going to be amazing, I was going to spend 12 days being chauffeured around, shown cool things, taken to awesome places and being fed things that weren't noodles or tinned spaghetti three times a day.

The Prison Boab

We stopped at a couple of places on the way to our first camp at Windjana Gorge. We saw the Prison Boab tree which is where they held the Aboriginals they'd kidnapped to use in the pearling industry when they were on the way to Derby. Yep, the pearling industry didn't always have backpackers queuing up to get seasick or scabs or bits of shell embedded in their flesh and y'know what, every time I dodge a bottle thrown by an Aborigine or try and ignore a torrent of verbal I'll remember things like this tree and I'll remember who fucked them up in the first place.

Anyway, we got to Windjana Gorge along the famous Gibb River Road, picked up our last member, Isabelle, set up camp and headed into Tunnel Creek which is a walk through a cave. You need a torch, footwear you don't mind getting wet and a liberal definition of "thermal" which is what Glen, our tour guide kept telling us the water was.

Bollocks. It was freezing cold and he'd told us the water would come up to our shins. As the icy water inched above my knees I decided that Glen skipped human biology at school.

The Gibb River Road

Tunnel Creek

Later on, after we'd been fed all kinds of crazy things such as Meat and Vegetables and Things With Nutrients we headed through the gorge in the dark and down to Lennard River. Loads of freshwater crocodiles live there but the best time to see them is at night. Well, their eyes anyway, if you shine a torch into the river it reflects off their eyes and all you see are all these bright yellow pairs of dots. They might be placid compared to the salties but whilst it looks proper cool I wouldn't be getting too close, especially not after blinding them in the name of entertainment.

We spent some time after that just lying in the sand on our backs looking at the sky, watching shooting stars. I'll never get bored of the sky over here when you're out in the bush or the outback. Nothing can prepare you for it when you first see it and every time you see it it feels like the first time. It's just breathtaking.

Nommage On The Fire

Freshie Land

So yeah, day one was cool, my tour group were alright an all and Pam helped me finish the half a bottle of $4 wine I had left over from the previous night and that was it for booze until the next bottle shop which was a few days away. How would I cope?

Pam's cool, she's a terribly English lass in her 70's from Kent who's standard response to everything from "the kettle's on" to "the comet has changed course and we've just averted Armageddon" was "Oh good." She's a retired doctor and anesthetist from the days when they used to use chloroform on kids when they were having their tonsils out.

Ah, chloroform. Every school should have some.