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South Island Day 5: Sod Off Great Big Lump Of Ice

Franz Josef Glacier, New Zealand

We'd officially entered sandfly country and for some reason stuff that sucks blood seem to like me. Mozzies, sandflies, women etc. I love Aeroguard but sometimes I get edgy about spraying myself repeatedly with chemicals that can melt plastic and strip paint so we stopped off at the local shop to get the all natural sweet almond oil/citronella oil mix they sell here in Okarito. It smells ok but shit it's greasy. I smeared it on any potential sandfly breakfast spots and headed to Franz Josef feeling like I'd fucking basted myself. You really do need some kind of repellant though, Shane tries not to use the stuff and his legs were starting to resemble a pin cushion.

Me and Shane had booked ourselves onto the half day Fox Glacier walk for tomorrow, Nat hadn't on account of the fact she's not that bothered about looking at ice but we stopped off at Franz Josef to check out a couple of the unguided walks round the glacier without getting too close.


Franz Josef Glacier

And Would Madam Like Anything Off The Death Menu?

And you really don't want to disregard the warnings and jump the rope. You're fucked really. You can have rocks fall on you, be washed away, have ice fall on you and if you're really unlucky have ice fall on you THEN get washed away while onlookers roll their eyes an tut and prehaps point at the idiot. And to be honest its a fucking huge lump of ice, you can see it from miles away, there's really no need to give in to the overwhelming urge to run over there and lick it. Uh... not that I... um... want to... nevermind...

After we'd got our oversized popsicle fix and viewed and photographed it from every possible angle we headed further down towards the township of Fox Glacier which is heaps smaller than the Franz Josef township and has less tourists. It's also home to Lake Matheson, also known as The Mirror Lake. At least it is on a windless, clear day unlike today.


Not Quite The Mirror Lake Now Is It?

We couldn't even see the mountains in the background so we stared at an eel for a while and tried to get it to eat stuff but we dont really know what eels eat so that soon bored us and we headed off to our camp for the night. You can actually camp for free next to a stream a bit further along from the main Lake Matheson carpark so we thought we'd give that a go for an afternoon of washing in the stream and playing cards.

And oh my god, I don't usually make food recommendations but if you ever end up at Fox Glacier and fancy some good nom then check out the Plateau Cafe Bar thingy and get the seafood laksa. Oh my god its like an orgasm in a bowl, its fucking incredible. I could stuff my face full of it all day and hang the weight loss program, I'm a lesbian, I'm genetically programmed to be fat anyway and if this is how I was going to do it then I'd be the happiest dyke ever.

Nomming on fish...

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 7, 2009 from Franz Josef Glacier, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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South Island Day 6: Ice Ice Baby (Sorry, I Couldn't Help Myself)

Fox Glacier, New Zealand

I woke up having been a sandfly banquet and thanked my lucky stars that I had enough blood to function with. So much for the natural essential oil bollocks ay, fuck your hippy shit I'd like my DEET back now please.
However I also woke up to this view:


Dawn

Oh New Zealand, I can't stay mad at you for long.

Me and Shane left Nat at the fun bus and headed into town for our Fox Trot walk on the ice. On arrival we were given a safety brief and had to swap our shoes for boots that were compatible with their crampons which would be fine but I swear they were lined with lead. They were heavy as and I had to wear two pairs of socks to make them fit.
As we were putting on our concrete shoes they started telling us what to expect on the walk. First we had to get to the ice, this involved a walk through the valley to the face of the glacier and then we were to walk up 700 steps.


Fox Glacier

No, my finger didn't slip on the zero key then. Seven hundred fucking steps in the heaviest boots in the world which feasibly could be used to beat the guide round the head with at the top of aforementioned steps. Making me climb up steps is worse than PMS and when I get on the PMS its time to hide the sharp pointy objects and anything heavy enough to be used as a blunt instrument. And what is at the top of the 700 steps you might ask? Oh, only a 150m drop to the right although in all honesty I was more worried about the steps than the drop.

So off we went to the glacier and my potential doom. And yeah, it's hard work but I seriously pushed myself. It would have been easier if I didn't have tombstones strapped to my feet but I was well impressed with myself for not actually having a cry or a tanty the whole way up and I even managed to keep up with the guide for most of it. Yes, I'd like my medal now please.


Like The Boots?
Just as my legs were about to give up we made it to the start of the ice and got our crampons on. We were told to keep our weight in the centre of our feet and dig the crampons into the ice as we walked resulting in a stampy, flatfooted walk as if you were having a little tanty and storming out of the room with a flick of your hair. If you have hair. If you don't then a flick might just look a bit gay.
But anyway, after attaching the spikes to our boots we made it onto the ice, some of them brandishing walking sticks. Me and Shane decided against the stick on account of the fact of I was to slip I'd want to be grabbing onto something that was less likely to come with me. Such as the bloke at the front that just made me walk up 700 steps.

It's stunning once you're up there though, this will probably be the first and last time I'll ever walk on ice like this on account of my aversion to being cold but to experience walking on a glacier in the middle of a New Zealand summer was awesome.

It wasn't that long ago, a matter of months when the Fox Glacier was the site of two deaths. Two lads had jumped the rope barriers and made their way to the face of the ice and as they were looking up and their family watched on a huge chunk of it broke away and crushed them. Geoff, our guide told us the Fox Glacier guides were first on the scene but there was nothing they could do, to go any closer would be to put their own lives at risk. One of the bodies was recovered that day. The other one was washed out a couple of weeks later and was fortunately found before it was washed completly out to sea.
So yeah, sometimes I may seem boring and lack adventure but hey, barriers are there for a reason. We all have to die at some point but if it can be avoided, why not avoid it?

I think something happens to your brain whnen you go on holiday, it's like you leave it on the side in the kitchen next to a note telling the neighbours how much food to give the fish while you're away. It's like you run through a checklist as you're leaving; Passport? Check. Credit cards? Check. Brain? Well we won't be needing THAT! Tourists aren't stupid (not all of them anyway) but when you go on holiday it seems to give you a licence to be an idiot. This is why I identify as a backpacker and not a tourist.


Yeah We Rock

Anyway, we made it back down in one piece, picked Nat up and headed south towards Haast. Now Haast will add to the join the dots pattern on the various parts of your body that the sandflies have gotten to and any exposed surface, just the walk from the car to the supermarket left us with significant blood loss. We were well and truly in sandfly world.


I *Heart* DEET

As we pulled into our camp for the night, a DoC site called Cameron Flats, I promised my Aeroguard I'd never leave it again and promptly doused myself in it and stayed away from naked flames for the rest of the night.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 8, 2009 from Fox Glacier, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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South Island Day 7: Wanaka; Nice Place, Shame About The Name

Wanaka, New Zealand

The next day we drove to the unfortunately named Wanaka as the sandflies tried to have a Nom A Pom party in my car. But here's one thing about Wanaka, it's fucking beautiful to drive into. It's surrounded by mountains and its right next to a lake, the scenery is stunning and we'd decided to do our skydive here, partially because of this.

It turned out to be too windy for skydiving though so we booked in for the following day and tried to hire kayaks. This was a no go an all, they weren't letting anyone go too far out again on account of the wind and paying for a kayak to paddle it round in small circles for an hour didn't sound like fun. So yeah, as stunning as it is there's sod all to do when its windy. We headed to possibly the only source of indoor entertainment to kill some time; Puzzling World.

Puzzling world is actually quite cool. They have like four illusion rooms, the first is full of holograms then you walk into another room covered in giant, concave faces that look like they're moving to watch you walk around the room (complete with creepy creaking noises). Next you check out this bizarre room that looks totally normal as you look into it but the ceiling is higher on one side creating giants on one side and midgets on the other.


Big Little Sister

Always Knew I Should Have Been Taller

The fourth room just fucks with you. The whole thing is on a slant but everything in the room is either truely level or very slightly slanted truely downwards but because your perception is messed with it looks like, for example, the ball on the snooker table rolls up hill. They also have water that looks like its running uphill and a chair you can sit on that, again, looks like you're sliding uphill. It seriously messes with your head.


Faces That Follow You Around The Room

The Most Fucked Up Room Ever!

And then there's the maze. The aim is to find your way to each of the four corner towers then out again which given my proven ability to get lost on a straight road really wasn't going to appeal to me. I followed Nat and Shane around while we found the towers but my attention span didn't allow for finding the way out. Neither did Nat's but it has escape doors so we cheated and waited for Shane while he finished solving it. And fair play to him, he did it. I'll just bask in his sense of acheivement methinks, you'll not catch me setting foot in any bloody mazes again for a while without a detailed map. Oh, and someone with the ability to read detailed maps.

So yeah, a pretty uneventful day on account of the total lack of Stuff To Do apart from drink tea and solve mazes and its not advisable to combine these two activites on account of the lack of toilets in the maze and the fact that the nearest facilities are located on the other side of a wall that you can't find the door to. We headed to our camp for the night and hoped the weather would pick up for our jumping out of plane related shenanigans the next day.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 9, 2009 from Wanaka, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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South Island Day 8: And So Begins The Adrenalin

Glenorchy, New Zealand

Yeah so it was raining in Wanaka again and the skydive was cancelled and the thought of another day wandering round a maze didn't really appeal to us so we headed down to Queenstown to have a little chat with them about stuffs and things to do in the area, namely where we could get this throwing ourselves out of an aircraft at 15000ft thing out of our system. The weather was heaps better here too and we had a choice; jump over Queenstown or get a $50 discount and drive ourselves out to Glenorchy.

Well it'd be rude to refuse a discount wouldn't it. We booked and paid and had a couple of hours to kill so we parked up at our campsite so Nat and Shane could have a minor panic and fill the long drops before they filled their pants.

Glenorchy was totally the right decision, if we thought Wanaka was pretty then the drive to Glenorchy was stunning.


The Road To Glenorchy


All Ready To Go. Readyish Anyway.
Everyone at NZ Skydive is really lovely an all, when I did my last skydive they all seemed a bit stressed, not comforting when you were about to entrust your life to them. This time I was going to be strapped to a Canadian bloke called Dave, Nat got a huge guy known as Bigfoot and Shane was harnessed to a tiny Welshman called Taff.
The flight up was more nerve wracking than I remember it being last time, I don't remember being scared at all the first time I did it once we were up in the air then I figured my brain must have blocked it out. I looked over at Shane, the bottom half of his face was all grins and teeth and the top half was deathly white. Him and Nat are both scared of heights and 15000ft could definately be considered high.


And Why Were We Jumping Out Of This Thing Again?

"It takes a certain kind of person to step out of an aircraft at 15000ft into thin air. It takes courage."

Fortunately we had to do nothing of the sort, this is what I love about skydiving, the man on your back takes care of everything so even if you do lose your bottle at the last minute it doesn't matter, he's going over the edge and you're going with him. And it was just as awesome as last time, that initial feeling when you first go over the edge is unsurpassed by anything.


Scuse My Drool

Nat's First Skydive


Shane And The Wee Welshman

Safely Back On The Ground

By the time I landed I had the biggest grin on my face as well as a large trail of drool. Nice. Nat and Shane both landed, both now totally addicted to it.

Huge smiles and slightly more control over their saliva glands than me.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 10, 2009 from Glenorchy, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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South Island Day 9: Schwiiiiiiing

Queenstown, New Zealand

We started off with little jaunt up Shotover River to ease us into the day gently with a few 360 degree spins thrown in and a couple of near misses with large rocks and things that can only be described as cliffs as we flew down the river on the Shotover Jet. It's heaps more fun at the back on these things, you get thrown around loads more and yes, this is a good thing. By the end of it we were a bit wet and a bit cold and my face had frozen into a grin. Shit it was fun though.


Morning Jaunt Up Shotover River

We'd booked one of them combo things which meant the once we were off the jet boat all we had to do was wait for the transport for the next activity to arrive and that would be the Canyon Swing then which is a mere 109 metres high with a 60 metre freefall and a 200 metre arc whilst harnessed to... well... string or something I guess. Surely it'd be nothing compared to the 15000ft jump we did yesterday right?

Ha. Yeah. Whatever.


The Canyon Swing Platform

I had approximately seven grey hairs when I got to Queenstown. I had a feeling they'd be added to over the next couple of days and made a mental note to extend my badger stripe to accommodate them if neccessary.
On arrival at their base you make good use of the long drops, one of which is covered in pictures of David Hasselhoff. As if falling off a 109m platform wasn't scary enough! Then for some reason they draw little pictures on your hand. Shane got an 8 ball, Nat got a pretty flower. I got a picture of some mountains with a little stick man stood at the top and another one lying at the bottom in a pool of blood.

Oh very fucking comforting thankyouverymuch, I'll just shit my pants now shall I?


Signing Ya Life Away

There are heaps of jump suggestions for the Canyon Swing, you can pretty much go off which ever way you want, forwards, backwards, head or feet first, you can have them release you or they'll even tie you to a chair and let you tip backwards but not before fucking with you, letting you go and then pulling you back at the last second. The Canyon Swing guys must take a course in Bastardry before they're allowed to work there.

Nat went first and demonstrated that you have no control over what noise you make when the ground gets taken away from you. It was hilarious, she jumped off forwards and let out this blood curdling yell that pretty much summed it up and translated roughly as, "fuck me, where's the floor gone?!" One of the guys turned to Shane and said, "bet ya never heard her scream like that before, have ya mate?"


Yeah Yeah, I'm A Pussy

I went next but opted for the Elvis Cutaway where they release you thus saving you the hassle of actually jumping yourself. Yep, I'm a pussy and will freely admit this here as only about four people in the world read this and one of them is my mother.

(waves at mum)

They suspend you lying down over the canyon and unwind the bit of wire thats keeping you held up and they don't give you a chance to decide you don't want to do it anymore, they just whip the wire out and send you plummeting although to be honest it wasn't the big rush I was expecting. I decided to go again and this time I'd harden up and jump myself. Grr an things.

Shane went next and went for the Pin Drop which is where you stand side on with your hands behind your back, focus on your toes and jump off sideways, the aim being to keep your hands behind your back the whole way down. Fair play to him for going through with it, we watched his DVD back and he was terrified and even sort of morphed into Golem at one point. As he went over the edge all you could here was, "Oh fuck!" as he tried to climb back up the preciousssss rope.


Golem Of Lord Of The Rings Fame

Shane Before His Canyon Swing

I gotta admit, it really it worth getting the bottle up to jump yourself, it was so much more fun the second time around, I was grinning so much my face cramped up. If you wanna check out the videos (and Nat's is worth it just for that scream) clicky here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ohfuckkit/3332879100/ for mine, here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ohfuckkit/3332874766/ for Golem's and here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ohfuckkit/3332846086/ for Nat's.

So today was our breaking ourselves in day. Today was actually relaxed compared to what the next day had in store. Today was a fucking holiday compared to what we'd be putting ourselves through tommorrow. The first half of the day was going to be taken up with white water rafting which would hopefully take our minds off the 134m bungy we'd be doing in the afternoon.

I expressly forbade my sister from ever visiting me in a country reknowned for adrenalin activites ever again.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 11, 2009 from Queenstown, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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South Island Day 10: 5-4-3-2-1-Bungeeeee!

Queenstown, New Zealand

We woke up to rain which was apparently a good thing on account of the fact it meant there was water in the river. Well yeah I can see how that would be a benefit and anyway, out of all the things to do in Queenstown when its raining I reckon white water rafting has got to be one of the best.


One Of The More Exciting Parts Of The Rafting

In all honesty the rafting was cool but not as intense as we wanted it to be. There was a lot of calm bits where we just floated down the river with only the guides to entertain us, in fact there were probably too many of them moments. I'm glad I did it but I think I'll try and do it again somewhere else with more or better rapids.
By the time we were out of the river my hands were so numb I couldn't undo any of my zips or clasps, I struggled like I'd never seen a zip before in my life before caving in and asking for help from a bloke who looked at me like I was a bit special. Fair enough really. After a hot shower to get the feeling back into our extremities we were driven back to the town centre to wait for the bus that would take us to the bungy.

Waiting. That's the worst bloody part of it. We had to wait half an hour for the bus then it was a 40 minute drive to the site, not to mention being sat 134m above the ground waiting for your turn. I was glad I hadn't cut my nails this week, it gave me something to chew on.


Its The Waiting That's The Worst Part


AJ Hackett
The bungy is the highlight of anyones trip to NZ, its compulsory to complete at least one or you'll be labeled a pussy by your peers and you won't be able to use the DVD to impress future dates after you've edited out the part where you cry like a girl and want your mum so I fully intended to do this thing. Or at least I fully intended to stand at the top with my feet tied together and have a mild panic attack. We'd decided to do the Nevis, the highest in the country because if you're going to shit your pants you might as well do it really, really high up. No, I have no idea why that counts as logic either.
The Nevis along with two others in Queenstown, one in Auckland and one in Cairns (and possibly more I dont know about) is run by AJ Hackett, that mad bloke famous for all kinds of daredevil stunts such as bungy jumping off the Eiffel Tower in 1987 and sporting a mullet in public. He's jumped off loads of stuff and millions of people have jumped commercially and lived. Bottling out wasn't really an option anymore.


The Nevis Highwire Bungy


Grinning Nervously In The Face Of Danger
We got to the base and were harnessed up, weighed again and put into groups. You jump by weight, heaviest to lightest which meant out of us three it'd be Shane then me then Nat. They cable car you across to the "rickerty tin shed hanging from a wire between two mountains" where you sit and wait until its your turn to have cuffs velcroed to your ankles and you're called to the chair. All kinds of shit goes through your mind. You plan your jump, in my head I was going to launch myself off in a beautiful swan dive and fall gracefully until the elastic caught me then I'd quickly release my feet at the top of the second bounce thus turning myself the right way up and be pulled back to the base to applause and adulation.
In reality I knew I'd probably bottle it at the point of no return and jerk to the end of the rope with my arms windmilling all the way down, fail to release my feet and have to be pulled back in upside down while all the blood rushed to my head and I returned to the top having turned a fetching shade of purple.


Pre Jump Grimace

Off He Goes

And there's the complete lack of stuff to hold onto. At the Canyon Swing you can hold onto your harness when you jump, it doesn't matter that what you're holding onto is coming with you, your head knows you're holding onto something, anything, and this really helps.
But what helps the most here is the professionalism of the guys, where the Canyon Swing guys have to pass a Sadist test the guy who clips your legs together at the bungy calms you down, as he's doing his thing he's making small talk designed to take your mind off the fact that you're about to jump off a platform 134m above a canyon. He explains what to do to release your feet and shuffles you to the edge like a penguin on death row, tells you to look straight ahead and before you know it its 5-4-3-2-1 and you override every natural instinct you have and find yourself plummeting towards the ground. And yes, screaming is acceptable when you're falling 134 metres thankyouverymuch.


Looooong Way Down!

Falling 134m

And I was well proud of my jump, I didn't hesitate or bottle out and I managed to release my feet somewhere around where I thought the top of the second bounce might be. I'm really proud of Nat and Shane an all, they're both scared of heights, the guy had to ask Shane to let go of him as he shuffled him to the edge and I've never seen Nat so quiet before. I'm not too bad with heights anymore, its jumping off them I have issues with.


Getting Ready To Jump

Nat Hanging Below The Jump Pod

But we did it. Its such an incredible feeling, I'm totally addicted to it and y'know what? We're already planning our next trip to Queenstown to do the Thrillogy which is the Kawarau Bridge, The Ledge and, of course, The Nevis. Again.

No, apparently we didn't quite freak ourselves out enough this time round.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 12, 2009 from Queenstown, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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South Island Day 11: Making White Water Rafting Look Like A Pleasure Cruise

Queenstown, New Zealand

Middle of summer and this is the view this morning at the DoC site we stayed at;


View From 12 Mile Delta Campground

Snow On The Mountains

Yep, that's snow on them there hills.

...................................

Ah Friday the 13th, what a perfect day to throw yourself into fast moving water without a raft. Shane had decided to rent a mountain bike and cycle down an off road hill very very fast but last time I went cycling I felt like I'd been kicked in the cunt for three days so instead of that me and Nat went river boarding where I ACTUALLY got kicked in the cunt by flailing people wearing flippers.

Allow me to explain river boarding.

They deck you out in a wet suit, helmet, flippers and a bodyboard and are taught a few essentials such as the "rapids position" where you prop yourself up on your left arm, hold onto the board at the top with your left hand and hold the board into your hips with your right hand thus becoming "one unit with your board."

In theory anyway. After only the little practise runs my left arm was ready to give in. It fucking hurt.


Rapids Position

After they've had you swimming round in circles a couple of times, taught you how to get back on your board if you fall off in the rapids and they've rescued the ones that got swept away they show you how to relieve cramp as it can be a problem with all the kicking you have to do. The best way to stop it is to stretch it out but other ways to avoid it are apparently salt, pineapple, avoiding alcohol the night before or by simply not launching yourself into rapids clutching only a bodyboard. So basically, yeah. That's river boarding. Like white water rafting but without the raft. It's really really hard work but shit it's fun!

As I said, its hard on your left arm and its hard to maintain the rapids position. All you really have to do it point your board the way the guides point, kick when they tell you to kick and try and keep in the middle of the river. Easier said than done. Just as you think you've got the hang of it another panicked river boarder with lungs full of water bowls into you and throws you off course. There's always a guide to rescue you though, just as you think aw fuck it, I'll never get out of this one of them comes out of nowhere and tows you back into the middle of the river.
Going head first into the rapids at eye level is fantastic an all, you just look up and see this huge wall of water before it swallows you and forces you under, all you can do it hold onto your board, kick like your life depends on it and let the river take you where ever it wants you to go. There's no point in fighting it, its bigger than you are.

So much better than the white water rafting although I don't think my left arm will ever forgive me for it and I cant say as I'm particularly good at it. Mind you I'm not very good at bodyboarding either, it took me ages to work out I was meant to be on the board as opposed to stood with my back to the waves with my eyes closed waving the board in front of me.

Once you're through the rapids and into the calmer waters they bring a jetski over and tow you two by two to their water playground where you get to play on the slide, the swing or rock jumps but they make you do it in full gear which makes you feel like you're weighed down with lead. One of the lads was complaining of cramp all up his calf and thigh. Ha, yeah, now try that once a month every month for about 40 years mate, see how you cope then!


About To Take On Big Al

After we were changed and back in town we met Shane. Oh oh oh! And one more food recommendation; You have to get a Fergburger while you're in town, they're huge. Seriously. Fucking massive, you could feed a small African village or derail a train with one of these beasts. There's a whole lot of dead stuff on that there burger and you're partial to stuff that used to have a face then this is THE place to eat.

Aaaanyways, once I'd been defeated by my Fergburger we armed ourselves with several cans of DEET and headed towards Milford Sound located deep in the heart of sandfly country.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 13, 2009 from Queenstown, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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South Island Day 12: Milford Sound

Milford Sound, New Zealand

Valentine's Day. My favourite day of the whole year to be single because I'm not obliged to shower anyone with cards and gifts and meals with hiked up prices just so I can get laid this month. Nat and Shane forgot it was Valentine's Day until later in the day when we came back into phone range and I got a few messages off mates. Thus followed an evening of obligatory hand holding.

If we thought it was cold yesterday with the snow in the distance then today was bloody freezing. I woke to to a layer of frost on my car, it put me off going to the toilet for fear my arse cheeks would freeze together but then I guess that's the price of waking up to clear skies in the Fiordlands.
I'd love to spend more time here what with the awe inspiring scenery, the striking hills and mountains and the reminder of what my breath looks like but I don't think my extremities could take it.

So I headed up to Milford Sound on my own leaving Nat and Shane to their own devices as they'd decided not to bother with a tour of this particular sound, Nat figured if you'd seen one you'd seen them all and we were kayaking Doubtful Sound the next day and Shane only wanted to see Mitre Peak. Before you get to the Fiordlands you're told to expect rain as they measure their annual rainfall in metres here, usually 7 to 9 of them, and massive sandfly related blood loss. I emerged from my car brandishing my can of DEET and clutching my rain jacket before abandoning my rain jacket in favour of another can of DEET. Well you can't be too careful.


Mitre Peak

Milford Sound is basically a sod off big carpark with a wharf and an airport and a cafe in order to entertain the people that park there. I was lucky with the weather though, I don't mind kayaking in the rain but sitting on a cruise inside a boat just watching the weather through the windows would have done my head in. As it happened the weather was beautiful.
I went with Real Journeys for this nature cruise on account of the pretty boat they put you on and the fact we were going to see the glow worm cave later and it got me a discount on that. Yep, I'm a bargain whore.
They sail you up to the Tasman sea and back again with plenty of seal watching on the way and past the permanant waterfalls. The one nearest the wharf is called Bowen Falls and thats where they get all the water from for the tea and coffee for the cruise and there's another one called Stirling Falls and they get you right up to it. My love of waterfalls is well documented, it was all I could do to not jump overboard and go play in it.

And here's the thing about the sounds. They're not Sounds at all, they're Fiords. If you want to see sounds you have to go all the way up to the top of the south island to the Marlborough Sounds, they were cut by rivers and flooded with sea water whereas Doubtful and Dusky and Milford and the others at the bottom were carved out by glaciers and flooded with sea water and therein lies the difference. In fact if you look at them on a map you really can see how different they are.
But it was an awesome day on the water and I'm glad I did it.

Once I was safely back on dry land having consumed as much complimentary tea as my bladder could take I drove back towards the campsite we'd stayed at the previous night as that's where I'd be meeting Nat and Shane then we headed back down towards Te Anau for some glow worm cave action.
I'd already seen glow worms at Waitomo but they're shiny and I like them despite their appearance if you get them in the light. They're the lavae of the fungus gnat, once the glow worms have nommed enough insects they go into the pupa stage then emerge as a gnat with no mouth that spends the one day its alive shagging before it dies. Not such a hard life then ay.

Anyway, once we were back in Te Anau we headed down to Manapouri as we had a ridiculously early start there the next day. Our last booked adventure before we could chill out and lie in bed in the mornings.

We were gonna need another holiday just to get over this one.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 14, 2009 from Milford Sound, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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South Island Day 13: Kayaking Doubtful Sound

Doubtful Sound, New Zealand

Doubtful Sound is less accessible than Milford Sound and less accessible means less tourists. Whereas in Milford you can drive right up and board your boat, to get to Doubtful your tour will include a free scenic cruise over Lake Manapouri and a scenic bus ride through Wilmot Pass, also absolutely free of charge. It always amuses me when they do that to prmote a tour, its like saying "free scenic flight with every skydive." Great, I'll leave my magical teleportation device at home then and save on batteries.

Today we'd be kayaking Doubtful Sound which would be interesting given it still hurt to change into fifth gear on account of the fact I still ached like a bitch from the river boarding. We arrived at the kayak base in Manapouri at stupid o' clock in the morning and after everyone had arrived we were transported to the fiord itself and kitted out in wetsuits, splash jackets, splash skirts and life jackets. It was drizzly but not too cold. I can handle drizzly. It's my northern English upbringing.


Lake Manapouri

Doubtful Sound

It was an awesome day though, so much more peaceful than Milford Sound, no aircraft taking off every two minutes and we only saw like one other boat right at the end. The worst thing was the sandflies, they're vicious and it's illegal to kill them in the Fiordlands. With it being a national park everything within it is protected. Bugger that. I have issues with involuntary blood loss and I figured the DoC wouldn't miss a few of the evil little bastards as I smeared couple over the bus window.

The Maori legend behind the sandflies (Te Namu) is that once upon a time the Fiordlands were a solid mass of land and the demi god, Tuterakiwhanoa (don't ask me to say that out loud) was given the task of carving it out. He started at the bottom and made his way up to Piopiotahi (Milford Sound) and when he was finished he asked Hinenuitepo, goddess of the underworld, to have a quick butchers at what he'd done. Anyway she loved it. She loved it so much that she got worried that the humans would also love it too much and never want to leave so she unleashed millions of Te Namu to remind us of our frailty and death.
And then came Aeroguard to protect us from these winged spawn of the devil himself but even coating yourself with that every couple of hours isn't always enough.

After a full days paddle we headed back to the campsite to chill out and start relaxing. No more getting up early for the rest of the holiday, no more i-site vouchers proving we'd paid for activites to look after, just copious amounts drinking tea and generally not moving much at all on our meander back to Christchurch.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 15, 2009 from Doubtful Sound, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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South Island Day 15: Waiting For Nature

Oamaru, New Zealand

If you go to Oamaru you can either pay $20 to go watch some blue penguins or rock up to a DoC hide at Bushy Beach to watch the rare yellow eyed penguins for free from a distance. I've paid to see penguins before and Nat and Shane didn't want to part with cash so we drove over to Bushy Beach to wait for them. We were told the best time was between 6pm and 9pm but here's the thing about penguins; they don't wear watches. Its not like they hang around in the shallows and as soon as 6 o' clock rolls around they start wandering up the beach, stopping to pose for photographs on the way.


Rather You Than Me, Mate
Eventually they did start coming out of the water but the hide really is quite a way from the penguins. What you want to happen is for them to come onto the piece of beach closest to you wearing a red and white pinstripe jacket, do a little penguin dance to a barbershop quartet song and exit stage left waving a top hat and cane. Cleary that's not going to happen unless you stocked up on the shrooms before you got to Oamaru, they come out of the water and make a break for the cliffs leaving you with some photos dots on a beach. Fortunately there was a guy hanging around called Colin who was a self proclaimed "penguin obsessive" and had brought some spare binoculars for everyone to use. He'd also brought an egg to show everyone the size of them, I'm several times the size of a yellow eyed penguin and I wouldn't wanna squeeze that out of any part of me.


And If You Look Closely You Can See A Dot...

We spent a couple of hours there staring at the beach before heading back to town. Apparently, somewhere near the expensive tourist shit you can watch the blue penguins cross the road for free but we'd gotten over sitting around waiting for penguins so we carried on heading north. We'd decided to take a small detour towards Lake Tekapo just to check it out the following day instead of just missioning it to Christchurch because lets face it, you really don't need more than a couple of nights in Christchurch unless you really really like art galleries and museums and catherdrals.

Which we don't. The heathens we are.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 17, 2009 from Oamaru, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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