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South Island Day 16: Slow Roasting Our Tender, English Flesh

Lake Tekapo, New Zealand


Blue Skies Ahead
True to New Zealand form the weather was shit again but we decided to go to Lake Tekapo anyway for a photo opportunity although we figured there wouldn't be much to do in the rain. We cruised along and as we passed the mountains the cloud suddenly cleared, it just stopped at the mountains and we drove into blue skies and sunshine, it was awesome and it was made even more stunning by the gorgeous turquoise colour of the lake. I left Nat and Shane in the township and head over to a Mt Cook lookout about 40kms away next to Lake Pukaki, it gives you this amazing view of Aoraki over the lake which is also turquoise.


The View Over Lake Pukaki

All the water in the area is turquoise on account of a sediment in the water called rock flour which was ground down by a glacier. Particles suspended in the glacial melt is what makes it the colour it is blah blah blah, whatever, its pretty. We settled down by the lake for an afternoon of premature aging. I'm not normally into deliberately slow roasting my flesh but the weather hadn't been on our side recently and we'd earnt it after a hectic couple of weeks, plus it was also nice to be able to sit outside and not get savaged by sandflies.


Lake Tekapo

So me and Nat fried ourselves to a crisp. We well and truly toasted ourselves and spent the evening wincing while Shane sat there smugly because he'd plastered himself with suncream.
Before we left we headed to Lake Tekapo Tavern to get a big feed where I was told I was hot by a very intoxicated bogan lady who, for a straight bird, cleary has excellent taste in lesbians. However she also thought me and Nat looked like twins. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't let the old ego go spiralling out of control just yet ay.


Crisping

Twins?!?

Driving out was depressing, we left the clear blue skies and sunshine and drove stright back into the rain, cloud and gloom which we came from.

Ah well, at least if was cold tonight me and Nat radiated enough heat to keep the whole campsite warm.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 18, 2009 from Lake Tekapo, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthIsland
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South Island, Saying Bye To Nat And Shane: Rained Off In Chch

Christchurch, New Zealand

The last couple of days in Christchurch were pretty uneventful because, you guessed it, it rained so we spent the Friday chilling in the van and listening to the radio. ZM said it was pretty shit weather everywhere apart from Invercargill but lets face it, it was still gonna be cold down there. It was still gonna be fucking Invercargill an all.

We'd planned to be ultimate Christchurch tourists but there's nothing to do here in the rain which resulted in an itinery of tea, tea, supermarket to get milk for tea, tea, beer, beer, tea. Me and Shane headed into town to check out the iSite to see if there was anything we could do to pass the time before heading back to drink more tea.


Killing Time

Iz Onna Bus Bein A Chav Init

Nat and Shane left on the Sunday after me and Shane had headed up the gondola to have a look at what Christchurch looked like from a distance. Much better way to see it if you ask me, I'm not a fan of the place at all, its full of idiots. I reckon it'd be what England would be like if all the chavs had money for pimped out cars and spent the nights tearing round and hurling abuse and beer bottles out of the windows. The only difference between Christchurch an Manchester is, in Chch they own the cars as opposed to nicking them.


Christchurch Gondola

I chilled here for a few nights while I got all my sensible laundry related shit done before I started the journey back up north to my beloved Auckland. Just in time for winter.

Meh.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 23, 2009 from Christchurch, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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More Compulsory Stuff To Do In NZ

Abel Tasman National Park, New Zealand

Nope, I'll never get bored of kayaking but no doubt you'll get bored of me telling you all about it so I'll keep it brief and throw in some pretty pictures for you to stare at numbly.

Abel Tasman is known for its seals and we saw plenty as well as heaps of pups but you know that cute noise that everyone thinks they make? That's not actually what they sound like, its more of a strangled yelp that sounds like they're being clubbed.


Damn Thing Looked Away Just As I Took This. Ya Can't Trust Nature To Pose For Photos.

Anyway, cloud and choked seals aside it was an awesome day.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on February 26, 2009 from Abel Tasman National Park, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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Waking Up...

Taupo, New Zealand

There aren't many better ways to wake yourself up than jumping 47 metres head first into the gorgeous Waikato River with only a piece of elastic tied round your ankles to slow you down. The Taupo bungy (you know, the one Andi bottled out of coz she's chicken) is New Zealand's highest water touch so it'd be rude not to touch the water and it saves you a shower in the morning.


Here We Go Again

The Only Way To Wake Up

Feral? Me?

permalink written by  Koala Bear on March 1, 2009 from Taupo, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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...And Winding Down

Rotorua, New Zealand

Yay, back in Rotorua so no one will notice that everything I own still smells like sulphur, especially after we'd all been to the Polynesian Spa.

Start the day with a bungy, wind down in the evening sat in a vat of hot water interspersed with cold showers because 40 degrees can make you feel like you're being slowly boiled which isn't a good feeling in a country where the natives used to eat Europeans.


View From The Spa

Polynesian Spa

Buuuut lets let the past be past. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on March 1, 2009 from Rotorua, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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East As, Bro

Tatapouri, New Zealand

Before I stopped my travels for a year in order to attempt a Normal Life in Auckland I decided I should probably get a backpacker bus to somewhere or other, just to say I'd done it. I'd been on the road for nearly three years and I'd never set foot on a Oz, FeeJee or Kiwi Experience bus, also known as the Big Green Fuck Bus. Um... on account of the fact backpackers get pissed and shag a lot... Clearly I'm doing something wrong.

Aaaanyway, I figured I'd get more out of the East Cape with someone to take me places and show me stuff so I booked Kiwi Experience's East As 4 day pass and duly rocked up to the iSite in Rotorua to wait for my bus and whilst its not actually overly big and there wouldn't be much fucking its most definately green. That'd do for me. I'm getting old now y'know.


The East As Bus

The coolest thing about these buses is that you can have everything planned for you if thats what you want and after a two month action packed tourist whirlwind it was exactly what I wanted, you're given a list of activites and accomodation and all you have to do it put a tick by what you want and the driver will book it all for you. A mate of mine had told me not to expect to much adventure round the East Cape either, I was looking forward to a relaxing, stress free little jaunt around the coast.

The first overnight stop was Tatapouri, not too far from Gisborne. On the way, Renz, our driver told us all about how this stretch of coastline was home to some of the best surfers around, she told us that around here they had some of the best breaks in the country as the waves lapped gently on the shore. Not the best example of extreme surfing action but hey, this was the east coast, its all about the chill out, right?

We stayed at a place whos name a forget but for a small fee they can keep you entertained by way of shark cage diving and stingray feeding and they'll arrange surfing or rock sliding trips for you. Shark cage diving was out on account of my dwindling budget but we donned some sexy waders and walked out onto the reef at low tide armed with buckets of fish to interfere with the natural order of things and feed us some stingrays.


Stingray Feeding

And Stingray Mauling

This is so fucking cool! Seriously, they come right up to you for a feed, you have to hold the fish down and kind of under them and they suck it up like a vacuum cleaner and some of these rays are huge. They come up for a pat as well, even if they don't want fish they'll still come up so you can stroke them and I now want one as a pet, I figure I could keep it in the shower. There was a large, pregnant one too, she was massive and she kept knocking into me and nearly taking my feet out from under me. I swear the bitch had it in for me.

Later on, after an awesome feed we chilled out and drank some wine and generally got to know each other. There were 8 of us plus the driver, just a small group which I like, not least coz I stand more of a chance remembering everyones names.


Tatapouri

No mean feat when there's a cask on wine on hand.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on March 2, 2009 from Tatapouri, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt, NorthIsland and EastAs
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First To See The Sunrise

Rangitukia, New Zealand

The east cape of New Zealand is one of the first places in the world to see the sunrise so we dragged ourselves out of bed in the dark and shuffled (and shuffling is the only form of movement possible at that hour in the morning before you've had you tea) over to the beach to be some of the first to witness the new day. I've seen many sunrises but that's usually because I'm still up, not just up. It's not much of a different experience this way round, everyones just as bleary eyed and there's a similar amount of slurring and drooling as people fight to gain control of their basic motor funtions.

Here's the thing about watching the sunrise an all, it's really really pretty but you can't fucking look at it unless you want a series of half suns floating around your vision for 20 minutes.


Sunrise Over Tatapouri

Once the early morning Becoming Human process was complete we were picked up by a small Brazilian man called Leo who drove us out to a natural rockslide on the other side of Gisbourne. He'll kit you out in a wetsuit, hand you something vaguely resembling a body board with handles and you get to spend the morning throwing yourself down this slope covered in algae with water running down it. It's fucking awesome! You can steer it down by putting your hands in the water to keep it straight and when you hit the bottom you bounce but you really have to make sure your tongue is well out of the way of your teeth.


Rock Sliding

How Many Backpackers Does It Take To Start A Van?

We entertained ourselves with a few races watched by a rather bewildered looking sheep before heading back to the bus and spending half an hour trying to bump start it. Apparently this is a regular thing yet still it doesn't occur to him to invest in jump leads. Or, and here's a crazy idea, a new battery.

Once we were delivered safely back to Renz we meandered towards Rangitukia via the longest jetty in NZ. Yeah yeah, I took a photo but it's not as long as the one in Bussleton, WA, and to be fair, how many photos of jettys does one blog need?
There's a BBH backpackers in Rangitukia, its really nice and all, I totally recommend it and you can arrange a couple of activities from there such as horse trekking and bone carving, a traditional Maori artform. There was also an option for possum hunting but the guy who arranges that wasn't around so no novelty nipple warmers made from the skins of dead pests for me today.
About a 10 minute walk from here is another place you can watch the sunrise but getting up at that hour AND walking (or shuffling) for 10 minutes just didn't appeal to me and hey, you've seen one sunrise you've seen them all right?

However, the bone pendant carving I totally recommend. Its like $60 and they take you through the whole process so the finished product is something you could give to someone and they wouldn't have to find an excuse to store it in the bottom drawer and you ARE meant to give it to someone, bone carvings are meant to be gifts so I made one for Loody.


Piece Of Cow

Proper Artist, Me


Bit Of Powdered Cow

Finished Product

Traditionally the Maoris used whale bone but since whales became protected they're only allowed to use the bones of whales that die naturally. Fair enough. These days they use cattle bone and this is what we would be carving. There are heaps of different designs to chose from and they have different meanings. I chose a Hei-Matau for Loody which is basically a stylised fish hook, its meant to provide safety over water and represents a great respect for the sea. Loody's a diver (scuba, muff, you name it) and I used to call her half a fish because she's so at home in the water. I figured it'd be perfect for her.

Anyway, after we'd spent a while breathing in powdered cow and sanded our finished products until they were smooth we settled in for a hangi and made an early night of it on account of another early start the following day.

Hmm. This restful trip wasn't proving to be very restful now was it.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on March 3, 2009 from Rangitukia, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt, NorthIsland and EastAs
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Not Such A Relaxing Cruise Then Ay

Te Kaha, New Zealand

Now I've been horse trekking before, I went twice with my parents when they came to visit me in Cairns and from what I remember they're a leisurely wander along with the horses nose-to-tail, breaking into an orderly trot if you fancied it but with the horse pretty much in complete control of what's happening. Nice, easy, nothing to worry about, right?

Right...?

Clearly I'd never been trekking on the east cape of NZ before, Reg who runs the horse trekking at Rangitukia has very different ideas, he "breaks all the rules of commercial horse trekking," there would be no nose-to-tail meandering, you would be in control of the horse and not the other way around and you were free to wander where ever you wanted at whatever pace you felt like.

I waved goodbye to my comfort zone and jumped onto my horse, Avante.

You get a really good trek for your money. Paul, one of our group, owns a horse back in Scotland and is very comfortable on horseback so him and Reg went galloping up the beach while the rest of us tried to work out where the Go Button was on our animal. I managed to get mine into something resembling a trot before I decided my arse couldn't take that kind of bouncing and slowed it back down to a pleasant meandering pace. We trekked through the fields to the beach then across a river and up to a hill where we chilled for a bit before heading back down to the backpackers. If you only do one horse trek in NZ, do this one.

Once we were loaded back onto the bus we were driven to the nearby Tikitiki historic church where we were taken inside and Renz told us a bit about the carvings and what they mean. Maori carvings are pretty grotesque because they believe if you create someones true likeness then their soul will be trapped in that likeness forever. Not good when you believe in life after death. She told us that the protruding tongue in a carving means something different according to which way it points. Straight down means the person was a straight talker, you can believe what they say. If the tongue is split the person was a liar and if it pokes to either side then you can't always believe what they say. If there's a shiny eye thing in the centre of the tongue Renz said it meant that that person was a great storyteller and could "paint picture with their words."
Before the missionaries rocked up the carvings were pretty much the written language of the Maori people but Christians being Christians and not open to new thoughts and ideas decided that they were worshipping false gods and banned the carvings. They also gave them a written language made out of letters and stuff. The art nearly died but for a fella who took a group of young people and made them into master carvers, these days every Marae will have a carved meeting house.


Totally East As

After a bit more driving and a quick stop to take a photo of the world's most easterly lighthouse we made it to Te Kaha, our last stop of the trip before we would be taken back to Rotorua or Taupo. It's a stunning place. We were taken out in a 6 person waka (canoe) to a beach for a snorkel before we headed back for a feed. We were meant to have written a song to sing at this stop but we'd discovered the hot tub by this time and after probably the most amazing sunset I've ever seen me, Chris, Gemma and Paul settled into the tub with a box of wine and remained there for the ensuing five hours until we resembled drunken prunes.

So much for my relaxing little cruise around the East Cape. The top half of me ached from rock sliding and the bottom half of me ached from horse trekking and my head ached from all the cask wine, I wanted another 4 day bus ride to recover from it, preferably somewhere flat with not much to do apart from knit and play bridge.

Nah, I jest, I recommend this trip to anyone, I really do and Te Kaha with its stunning sunsets, good hospitality and hot tub right next to the ocean is a perfect end to an awesome trip.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on March 4, 2009 from Te Kaha, New Zealand
from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt, NorthIsland and EastAs
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New Obsession, Please

Auckland, New Zealand

Thems of you that know me personally will know that I've had a minor yet bordering on unhealthy obsession with the Sky Tower since I got to Auckland. Those of you who don't know me may have guessed on account of the millions of photos I've taken of it from every available angle. Not that it looks any different depending on where you view it from but hey, you never know, one day I might just take a better photo.
But anyway, since I got here I've always wanted to go up it to do the Sky Walk where you wander around a platform that's about 1 metre wide with no hand rails harnessed to a rail above you and the Sky Jump where you jump off the tower harnessed to two wires. I was meant to do it before I left Auckland the first time but every time I decide to do it it pisses it down in true NZ style but today was a good day for it and it turned out that my friend, Nadia, has a mate who is one of the Sky Walk guides and she invited us to go over to walk and jump for free. Well it'd be rude to refuse now, wouldn't it?


KT, Nadia And Me

Now here's the thing about me and heights; They've always made me a little bit nervous, I believe that if humans were meant to be that high up we'd have been given longer legs but I've spent the last three years trying to condition myself out of this and so far I think I'm doing pretty well. But still. When Kati lead us out onto the Sky Walk platform and instructed us to let go of our harnesses and shuffle right to the edge, toes over and look down, mate, seriously, I was so fucking tense. It was a half hour buttock work out right there as I forced myself over to the side which was unnervingly close anyway.

Then it was time for a 20 minute stroll around the Sky Tower as Kati told us bits and pieces about the city I was to call home for a year, about the volcanos that surround it etc. I wish I could remember some of the facts to write here but they pretty much left my brain as soon as the entered it on account of the fact my head was still trying to get itself around why it was so high up without a railing. The view is fucking stunning though, its so awesome, such a beautiful city. And its the first time I've seen Auckland without the Sky Tower being in the picture.

Once we were safely back on solid ground we changed out of our bright orange jump suits and into a rather fetching blue and yellow outfit which Nadia prefered because it made her look more like a super hero and less like a death row convict. I have to admit though, I was more worried about the walk than the jump, after The Nevis anything would be possible but still, my mouth was dry and my palms were sweaty, it was like all the moisture had left my gob and gone straight to my hands. It's weird, if I don't have to jump off something I don't like letting go but as soon as I have to go over the edge it's all good. I'm over and falling and loving it.

The Sky Jump is the highest jump in NZ but it's nothing like bungy or the Canyon Swing, it's too controlled. Once you're over the edge there's no freefall, they just lower you down a bit quickly until you reach the bottom where you have to remember to put your feet down and bend your knees or you'll find out what the landing pad tastes like and it might take a while to locate all your teeth. Even if you do remember the landing is far from dignified, you'll probably end up on your hands and knees anyway but it's still worth getting your feet under you if you like the way your face looks.


Loving This Jump Suit

Hovering Over Auckland

But I hard out recommend the walk. The jump is cool too just to say you've done it but either way its a HUGE thank you to Kati for sorting us out with this. Massively appreciated and it totally made my week. Now all I need to do is find a new obsession...

  • digs stalking kit out of bottom drawer*
    •

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on April 14, 2009 from Auckland, New Zealand
    from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
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    How To Relax In Queenstown

    Queenstown, New Zealand

    So apparently Queenstown isn't all about jumping off stuff or out of things. No, really, it's possible to visit to NZ's adventure capital and leave with your adrenalin levels at a level your heart doctor would approve of and your internal organs where you left them.

    My best mate in Auckland, Rohan (affectionatly known as Rosie), was going to Queenstown to chill out for a couple of nights and press the reset button and he needed someone to go with. I hadn't seen my reset button in a while. It was probably rusty from the lack of pressing and living and working on one of the noisiest road in Auckland wasn't doing anything for my stress levels so off I went to the south island to gaze wistfully at snowcapped mountains and think about skiing. Only think about it, mind, I'm quite fond of my teeth where they area and my face the shape it is.

    So here's your cut out and keep guide to surviving Queenstown with your nerves intact.

    ONE: Stay at the Crowne Plaza because Rosie doesn't do shared dorms. I'm not used to accommodation that supplies towels and has housekeeping and Sky TV in the bedrooms with a remote control that works. At the places I stay we're lucky if someone hasn't stolen the TV from the shared area but here we had a double bed each, ideal for reclining on as one sips cheap bourbon from the 1.5 litre plastic bottle. Yep, I reckon with practice I can achieve the level of class I know I'm capable of; just slightly above the gutter.


    Rugged Up And About To Take On Q'Town

    So Very West Auckland


    TWO: Instead of standing at the edge of a platform 134 metres above a canyon with your feet bound together with velcro or hanging out of a plane at 15000 feet with a man called Dave strapped to your back, if you want to be high up why not take the gondolas instead? Much more relaxing and doesn't require that you pack a change of undies.

    We headed to the top and I actually had to walk past a bungy jump, The Ledge.

    Walk. Past.

    Do you know how hard that was? I SO wanted to do it but my budget said no. Actually my budget openly laughed at me, slapped me round the chops and told me to go for a luge ride instead so we did which I managed to do without adding to my fine collection of scars.


    The Only Way To Luge


    Remarkables; The Perfect Backdrop To Queenstown

    A cup of tea later and it was back down the hill by gondola to discuss the possibility of starting a knitting circle or a bridge club or something else that reflected our new found calm on our return to Auckland.


    THREE: Fergburger. You can't visit Queenstown without at least one burger from there. Of course, if you're on a relaxation kick it's best to avoid the Big Al and settle for something smaller and less dangerous to your intestines, a burger that perhaps doesn't fight back when you attempt to bite into it.


    FOUR: Ahh, the Shotover Jet, a rip roaring ride up the Shotover river complete with 360 degree spins and uncomortably close encounters between your head and sharp rocks. If one were an adrenaline junkie as opposed to a classier act that stays in establishments such as the Crowne Plaza one would embark on this jet of which they speak and get those juices flowing, most probably out through their anus. Me and Rohan, however, much prefered to sit in a vat of hot water and watch the action from afar from the Onsen Hot Pools.


    Rosie Meets Fergburger


    View From The Hot Pools

    The Less Hectic Way To Check Out The Jet

    Fuck. Yes. Totally and utterly worth a visit, they even pick you up from town and drop you back off afterwards, fabulous for those that shudder at the idea of public transport.

    That was possibly one of the most needed mini breaks I'd ever been on. Me and reality don't get on very well together, this Normal Life thing, although it's made me heaps of fantastic friends and I really do love Auckland as my home, normality has a way of driving me insane and I need to escape and press the reset button. I think we all do. Everyone needs to take that time out to just stop, take mental stock of whats going on in your life and your head, reevaluate if neccessary and refocus on your goals and what's really important to you.

    Well that's my excuse for travelling and damnit, I'm sticking to it.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on October 8, 2009 from Queenstown, New Zealand
    from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip
    tagged LovinIt
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