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Heading Bush: Day 9 - "Kings Canyon Rim Walk"

Glen Helen, Australia

Today more walking would occur. A lot more walking. In fact, part of this walk is actually known as Heart Attack hill. Oh fucking fantastic, I'll look forward to that then shall I?


Livin' On The Edge... K Well Lying On It Anyways

The trouble with these walks is that they're very much Had To Be There moments. The scenery is awesome and the photos never do it justice and the Kings Canyon Rim Walk is no different. Its also bloody hot and there's no escape from the sun which was Mike's Day 9 excuse for getting us up early.


Our Tour Guide Setting A Good Example

We did the usual shit, we hung over a cliff edge, I caught up on the sleep I'd been deprived of in the Garden Of Eden and me and Allison re-enacted a lookout sign. I won't bore you with words, just look at the pretty pictures.

The rest of the day we entertained ourselves with drinking beer, looking for widgety grubs (and fortunately not finding any), drinking beer, photographing feral animals (not us), doing stuff associated with 10 people sat in the back of a jeep for too long drinking beer and playing with melons.

As in paddy melons, you filthy minded buggers.


Tourists!
We were driving through Aboriginal land and there's a sharp corner where the locals have placed a barrel with the words "Lift Um Foot" which is to stop the mingers (Aboriginal word for white man, has something to do with ants) from tearing round the corner and crashing. Once you're round the corner there's another one that says "Put Um Back Down" but the first one is weighted with these melons which we signed.
We wrote the usual stuff on it, our names and a few words about us being feral and Groovy Grape being cunts and I wrote a little message; "I can't believe I'm sat in the middle of the desert signing a bloody melon." I thought it summed it up anyway. Everything to happen on this trip has been Once In A Lifetime.

Anyway, day 9, our last night together as a group. We marked the occassion with beer and the ceremonial burning of Alex's $1.50 hat and discussed how we were going to kidnap Mike and make him take us up to Darwin then down the west coast.

It's a swine when good things come to an end init.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 7, 2006 from Glen Helen, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and HeadingBush
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Heading Bush: Day 10 - "Look Out, Alice Springs"

Alice Springs, Australia

Mike promised us a lie in! He let us sleep in until about 7am! Joy! I made a mental note to cancel the bounty I had out on his head.


Me And Allison About To Take Off
Today was awesome, the perfect end to a perfect trip. A few of us took a helicopter ride over Glen Helen before going for a dip in the gorge. The next stop was Ormiston Gorge which is like something out of a movie. Possibly quite a scary movie where everyone thinks they're in paradise but then realise that a serial killer is on the loose and they all start dying one by one in horrific ways... hmm, maybe I watch too much horror.

But nah, it was amazing. We caught some rays, had a swim then moved onto the next stop which was lunch closely followed by Ellery Creek Big Hole, another water hole you can swim in.


Ormiston Gorge

Ellery Creek Big Hole

Oh its a bloody hard life init.

We accosted a bloke on the way who was wearing an "It's Feral" t-shirt and made him have his photo taken with us. I quite sure we didn't scare him too much and he could have said no if he wanted. I mean, there's one of him and only 11 of us, right?


FERAAAAAAAL!

Eventually we rocked up to Alice Springs and went to our separate hostels. I'd booked into Annie's Place on the advice of a German bloke I met in a hostel in Port Campbell over a cup of tea. Its nice enough, only went there to sleep though. I had a shower and enjoyed being clean for a total of 11 seconds before I stepped out of the air conditioned room and resumed sweating profusely.

We all met up at Bojangles which has all kinds of exciting things like free peanuts (and they even let you throw the shells on the floor), food and beer. There's a live web cam feed so people all over the world can watch you dancing and they can request tunes.


Not Looking At All Camp There, Mike...
Fuck only knows what the other punters thought had come to town, when Mike and Hans rocked up we jumped up, screaming and clapping. A rendition of "Ohhh, My Walla" was in order while we waited for our food to arrive and we met a mate of Allison's who she didn't even know was in Oz. We adopted him, taught him our tune and later on he helped us take over the dancfloor as we jumped about to our Day Three anthem, Bohemian Rhapsody before heading to Melankas where we put Sam in the dancer's cage cage to stop him from pressing any more buttons.

Told you you weren't gonna live that one down, darlin ;)

Good food, awesome company, copious amounts of beer and dancing and free peanuts. A fitting end to a feral tour methinks. Can't wait to see you guys down the Painted Desert in the USA for our reunion.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 8, 2006 from Alice Springs, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and HeadingBush
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Alice Springs And Back Again

Adelaide, Australia

Arrived Alice: 08/11/06
Left Alice: 11/11/06

"There's nothing to do in Alice Springs," I was reliably informed by the lass at Peter Pan Travel in St Kilda when I booked the Heading Bush 10 day outback tour, "Just get yourself a good book and sit by the pool for two days while you wait for the Heading Bush two day express back to Adelaide."

I still haven't read the book.

Ok, so I'm not saying that Alice is a 24 hour party town but when ya rock up with 10 of the best people in the world there's no time for this Sitting By The Pool stuff unless its with an esky of beer, pizza and your mates which was the order of the day on Thursday.

Alice is an odd place though, it was foolishly hot and it wasn't even summer. Its a decent sized town an all with these random reminders that you're actually in the middle of the desert and its an odd mix of backpackers, Aboriginals and white locals.


Allison And Her Birthday Chips. Or Fries. Whatever.
We spent loads of time down Bojangles on account of the fact it sells food and alchohol which are two of our favourite things in the world and I spent quite a bit of time in the internet cafe (no change there then) next to Melankas which is a hostel with a nightclub downstairs.
We spent a bit of time there an all, a few of the group stayed there but I ended up at Annie's Place which is nice enough, I was just hardly ever there. I'd have been better off just giving Bojangles $17 a night and sleeping behind the bar.


The Boys And Their 800g Steaks
Friday was an awesome day which involved shaving my hair into a mohawk on the dry river bed, watching Keith, Mike and Alex tuck into 800g steaks (they all finished them but Keith did it in 15 minutes flat) and helping Allison celebrate her birthday. At Bos of course, it has a live webcam feed and people all over the world can email in and request tunes to be played. Allison got shit loads requested and Tickers requested Voodoo Child for me. Loved it and went mental on the dance floor, cheers darlin ;)
We got her some appropiately named soap and in the absence of cake we stuck her Happy Birthday candles in her chips.

Yeah that's right, I said chips, not fries! Ha!

  • mutters something about Bloody Yanks*



    • Night Out @ Bo's

    I'd stayed in touch with Toni whenever I had phone signal and she said I could stay with her and her Thai friend Tuk when I got back to Adelaide which was cool. Apart from mooning Groovy Grape and taking photos of a naked puff on a salt lake it was a pretty uneventful ride down, we stayed at Coober Pedy and drank lots of beer.


    Salt Lake Minus The Naked Puff

    On The Border

    I rocked up to Tuk's place on the Sunday evening and spent the ensuing 9 days being fed Thai. Tuk is awesome, she's a top lass and as for Toni... well, she rocked my world.

    All in all, not a bad time back in Adelaide methinks.


    Me An' Ma Grrlz

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 20, 2006 from Adelaide, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and HeadingBush
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    Across The Nullabor: Day 1

    Kimba, Australia

    Left Adelaide: 21/11/06
    Arrived Perth: 25/11/06

    Kliff was meant to be in Mildura working towards his second visa but Mildura has a way of making you drink lots of goon and he also sliced his knee open in the shower so he couldn't work so him and his mate Tim met me in Adelaide and we did the 2600km drive to Perth across the vast expanse of Bum Fuck nothingness that is The Nullabor.

    On account of the fact that it was a damn sight harder to say bye to Toni than it was meant to be and the need to drink copious amounts of tea to function correctly in the morning we left the lads hostel a little later than planned but we were soon on the road and heading 300km north to Port Augusta.
    Yeah, I know Perth is west, tell that to the bastard who put the large body of water in the way.

    We stopped in Port Augusta, re-fuelled, stocked up on food and beer then promptly broke down about 9km out because something had gone tits up with the electrics. As soon as I switched the lights on all the needles went mental and the car tried to cut out so we headed back to Port Augusta and got it looked at. Something had snapped off on the battery, one of the connecter thingy wotsits and it was only $35 to put right, I was looking at it the other day and it had white stuff all over it so I'd tipped water on it. I told Kliff, he blinked, looked at me like I was tapped and said, "You poured water on a battery?!"


    Halfway Across Australia... Roughly

    Oh come on, I have breasts, they cause me to look at mechanical things and think, "Oooh, lets make it shiny!"

    Anyway, all good, it just put us back a bit so we camped at Kimba which has a Big Galah and the somewhat dubious claim of being Halfway Across Australia. Lord only knows where they're measuring from. New Zealand, prehaps.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 21, 2006 from Kimba, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged RoadTrip and LovinIt
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    Across The Nullabor: Day 2

    Border Village, Australia

    Tim was nearly dead on account of Kliff snoring in his ear all night.

    The stumpy tail lizard I spread all over my car a little later on was definately dead.

    We stopped in Ceduna which is the last big town before the actual Nullabor Plain so I bought me a swag because I missed the one I slept in in the outback. They're so much warmer than tents an all.


    Zzzzzzzzzz

    Just Not Happening

    Most towns in Australia like to have some kind of claim. We passed one Middle Of Nowhere place claiming to be "The Town With A Secret." We didn't stop to find out what the secret was in case it was the special ingredients in the Backpacker Pies. Ceduna is famous for its oysters so we pulled up outside an oyster bar with the obligatory Big Oyster outside and Kliff got us a plate of six.

    Wasn't happening.

    I tried, I really did but it got to the back of my throat and my throat went, "What the fuck is that and why isn't it cooked?!?"

    Tim politely declined Kliff's kind offer of Seafood That Resembles Snot.


    More Things To Run Over

    Absolutely Nothing To See Here

    Later on we stopped at the famous Camel/Kangeroo/Wombat sign and finally hit The Nullabor. Nullabor Plain basially means Treeless Plain. Talk about getting literal, kilometers of nothingness, no phone signal, no radio. We only had a total of 200 songs on Kliff and Tim's MP3 players so we listed to them on repeat for the five days it took us to get to Perth.


    Kliff And Tim, Setting Up At Border Village

    From SA To WA

    We camped at Border Village which is aptly named on account of it being on the South Australia/Western Australia border and took photos of the Big Kangeroo, Rooey 2, which is possibly the ugliest Big Thing I've seen since I got to Oz. Seriously, with this thing guarding the border you've half a mind to turn back.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 22, 2006 from Border Village, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged RoadTrip and LovinIt
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    Across The Nullabor: Day 3

    Norseman, Australia

    Word of advice. If you're going to fall asleep outside or kip in a swag, don't forget the insect repellant. I woke up with a few bites on my face, Kliff had War and Peace in Braille down one side of his mush, I swear down we counted over 100 bites.

    It was a bloody hot day, must have been 40C, and it was today that we learned that if you pump the A/C to high in my car it makes the car smell like petrol.

    Bugger.

    Anyway, who needs A/C when you have a bottle of Febreeze you can empty out and fill with water. If you wind all the windows down and spray yourself its loads nicer and because of the reminants of Febreeze we all smelt lovely apart from Tim who hadn't showered since Adelaide. So armed with our new High Tech Cooling Device we carried on and finished the Nullabor. Piece of piss.


    Doing The Longest White Line In Australia

    About To Embark On The 90 Mile Straight

    This part of Oz has the 90 Mile Straight, Australia's longest straight road. There's nothing to do for the next 146.6 kilometres but try to get road trains to honk you to keep you awake (and in Kliff's case, raid the esky for beer). We got 10 Honk-Honk points, not a brilliant effort. Come on road train drivers, do your part to keep backpackers alert and mildly entertained.

    We finally got to Norseman and celebrated the Crossing Of The Nullabor with a BBQ and a few beers and we met lots of nice people to get horribly drunk with.


    Nom Nom Nom

    Such a friendly country, Australia.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 23, 2006 from Norseman, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged RoadTrip and LovinIt
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    Across The Nullabor: Day 4

    Corrigin, Australia

    After completing the slow and painful rehydration process and getting a good internet fix we hit the dirt track to Hyden which is the shortest distance west.

    Hyden is home to another of Australia's famous Rocks With Names, Wave Rock, so called because its shaped like a big wave. I'm starting to wonder if Aussies have any imagination at all.


    The Most Fun You Can Have With A Big Rock

    We checked it out, did the obligatory Hang Ten tourist pose and fled before the flies had us for lunch. How can a country with so many spiders have so many bloody flies?

    I wanted a nice, leisurely drive the next day and we didn't want to rock up to Perth too late so we camped at Corrigin, home to the dog cemetary and the record holder for most dogs on utes in convoy.


    Record Breakers

    RIP Lassie

    Welcome to the country.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on November 24, 2006 from Corrigin, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged RoadTrip and LovinIt
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    Across The Nullabor: Day 5

    Perth, Australia

    Yeah yeah it's been a while since I posted Day 4, I have a valid excuse though...

  • hides booze under bed*


    • We'd already hit quite a few locusts before we got to Corrigin and the lass at the campsite we were on said it was only going to get worse and handed us a sheet of mesh to cover the front of the car with to stop them getting in the radiator.


    Locust Carnage

    Tell ya, we were grateful for it, it wasn't far up the road when we hit a plague of locusts of Armageddon proportions. I'm still picking the buggers off my car to this day.

    Anyway, we arrived in Perth and booked into Billabong Backpackers which is where Maaike and Becky (mates from Echuca) are staying. Maaike's mate Cory will be arriving soon and we've got friendly with a German lass called Loody which means that the gays almost equal the breeders. Woo hoo.
    I wish I could give you a constructive and coherant review of the hostel but I've either been working or horribly drunk by the pool on goon so I'll write something sensible sometime in the future.

    That's if I still have readers by then.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on December 9, 2006 from Perth, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged RoadTrip and LovinIt
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    How To Tell You Picked The Right City To Spend Xmas In

    Fremantle, Australia

    Well there aren't many better ways to spend Christmas Eve than on South Beach in Fremantle with some of your favorite people in Australia, sipping vodka, playing games and watching the sun go down before snuggling into your swag and falling asleep to the sound of the waves lapping on the shoreline.


    Santa Trev

    Me And Kliff


    The Grrlz

    Maggot On The Beach

    And there are worse ways to spend Christmas Day than waking up on the beach and munching Turkey sandwiches before heading off to Cottesloe for chilling, drinking goon, snorkelling and swimming. Hurrah for SPF 30+ suncream though, the sun is so bloody intense here, it would have fried my tender English flesh to an unrecognisable crisp within minutes. Later on we snuck into Loody, Maaike and Cory's hostel in Freo to watch films and... well... drink more goon.

    And as for Boxing Day? Well, back to South Beach for a BBQ and more general swimming and crisping.


    Best Xmas Eve Ever

    So, what was the weather like in Britain? We got well into the 30s but I heard it was about 21C in Alice, 18C in Adelaide and Hobart and Melbourne had their coldest Christmas for 20 years ;)

    Not that I'm gloating or anything.

  • gloats*
    •

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on December 27, 2006 from Fremantle, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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    YEAH YEAH!!! :)

    Perth, Australia

    Who's the happiest backpacker in the world? That would be me then because the Australian government has granted me my second visa. I don't have to get rained on at the bus stop or get beaten up by chavs for 20p until at least May 2008.


    Officially Staying

    It was even worth having my blood sucked from me in a non-erotic manner. Uh... not that I'd get off on that kinda thing anyway....

  • kicks collection of vampire porn under the bed*
    •

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on January 18, 2007 from Perth, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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