Being English, in the true spirit of the day I wanted to go and oppress some Aborigines, steal some land, destroy some ancient culture and generally spread disease and hardship but no one else seemed up for that so instead we filled three Falcons with backpackers and headed back down to Blackwall Reach to throw ourselves off the cliffs again.

Woo Hoooooooo!!

At This Point He Was Demanding Vodka

Rainbow Lodge @ Blackwall Reach

Fraser's Alternative To Cliff Jumping

Meh. Maybe next year I'll reclaim Uluru or something.

We had an awesome time anyway, after we finished at the cliffs we headed down to the beach before deciding it was Too Hot (no, I never thought those words would leave my mouth either) so we headed back to Rainbow Lodge before the sun fried our tender European flesh to an unrecognisable crisp for frequent cold showers and goon. And as we'd been cliff jumping it meant Italian style mussels for tea again. Fuck yeah.

Eoin Gets To Shower With Two Lesbians

It's illegal for just anybody to buy fireworks over here (unless you live in Canberra where you can also buy hardcore porn but I guess there needs to be some kind of incentive to live there) which means that 99% of Australian phone boxes are still in one piece and no one knows how far a cat goes with a rocket tied to its tail. It also means I missed out on Bonfire Night and the local attempts at New Years fireworks were piss poor. I've been pyrotechnically deprived.

Oooooooooohh.....

....Aahhhhhhhhhhh

Thank the god of all that is shiny, slightly dangerous and smells faintly of gunpowder and burnt flesh for the Australia Day 2007 Perth Skyworks. In the absence of a hot bird I curled up with Eoin on the foreshore to watch the display where we also had a fantastic view of the south bank which they managed to set on fire.

Pretty blue flashy lights and fireworks going off in directions they're not meant to.

All we needed was a hoard of 10 year olds standing outside the shop trying to get people to buy rockets for them to put through the neighbour's letter box and it would have been just like home.

written by  Koala Bear on January 28, 2007 from Perth, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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I haven't really blogged a massive amount while I've been in Perth because most of the stuff I've got up to has been general day to day stuff. Working, drinking, playing, drinking, chilling out, drinking etc. I've been working eight shifts a week and spending my free time with mates so while I've been having a massive amount of fun it hasn't really been blog worthy.

But anyway.

If Perth was any more laid back it'd fall into the ocean and drown. I don't give a fuck that the CBD doesn't open until midday on a Sunday, I don't care that I can't do my food shopping after 8pm, I can even forgive the ear maiming music they play at the train station and the small excuse for a gay scene, its a week until I leave and quite frankly I don't want to.

Ever.

I fucking love it here.

I love living at Rainbow Lodge. "Not So Much The Warm Heart Of Perth, More The Liver Spasm." Chilling on the roof or in the garden getting hammered on goon, chatting, laughing, wondering who I have to apologise to for the previous evening's behaviour. I love the people there, the games, the fucking about. The Lodge is how all hostels should be but don't expect to have clean feet for the entire time you live there.

I loved working for EPA doing the event personnel work although a small amount of emotional scarring may have occured when they put me on stage at the three Kylie gigs in front of thousands of people to set up a prop.

Graeme's Angels

At The Kylie Bump In

I love my job at Connections, getting paid to drink vodka, chat, meet new people and perve on hot girls. Its made me appreciate small gay scenes more than I did living in Oxford and I love being a part of it. I actually look forward to going to work and yes, I know this is inherantly wrong and I may be due for a slap.

I love the stunning beaches, the perfect sunsets, the amazing weather. I love throwing myself off cliffs into allegedly shark infested waters, I love pretending I can surf and catching fish I can't eat. I love Northbridge and all its bars, pubs, clubs and restaurants.

The people I've met, both locals and backpackers and the things I've done in this city, the most isolated city in the world that most backpackers ignore will never compare to any other city ever again, I feel like I'm home.

Scary shit!

I love backpacking, the temporary lifestyle suits me down to the ground. No responsibilities, no commitment, no worries, new people every day, new ideas and experiences, no chance to ever be bored. If you don't like somewhere, move. If you don't like a job, quit. But one thing that will never ever get easier is saying goodbye to the people that have become your family and to the places that have become your home.

Perth; The Best City In The World

Perth is another of those places and experiences that will forever be etched into my heart, I don't think I could have picked a better place to spend Far Too Long in but all good things must come to an end.

They have to for even better things to happen.

written by  Koala Bear on April 2, 2007 from Perth, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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Once the laundry is finished, hide in your room for a couple of hours and sulk.

Grab a couple of Irish blokes and drive down to Blackwall Reach in north Fremantle and spend the ensuing two and a half hours throwing yourself off the cliffs into the Swan River.

Eoin And Darragh

When we rocked up half the Billabong crew were there, I was chatting to a lass I knew from when I lived there and she told me it was a long way down. As in, you actually have time to think about stuff on the way.

Oh good, because I need more time to think. I'll work out what I'm having for my tea and make a shopping list then.

Its awesome though, such a buzz. If you ever go to Perth or Freo do not leave until you've hurled yourself the alleged 10 metres off these cliffs into the water.

Don't forget to grab a load of mussels off the rocks for your tea later on.

Taking The Plunge

Don't Jump Off Cliffs

Once back at the hostel, put the mussels in a bowl, stare at them blankly and discuss exactly how you're meant to cook them until one of the Italians wanders off with them and returns with fantastic meal of pasta, sauce (containg goon, she might be Italian but she's still a backpacker) and of course the mussels you risked life and limb to collect earlier that day.
It was bloody lovely but she wasn't happy, claiming that as an Italian it put her to shame because some of the sauce came out of a jar. I also learnt that Italians never cook with water because in Italy, water is only for washing in. You cook with and drink wine.

I'm so fucking moving to Italy.

Munch on that while watching the comet over the Perth skyline from a balcony.

Comet McNaught; Pic Shamelessly Stolen Off Wikipedia

I fucking love my life.

written by  Koala Bear on January 21, 2007 from Perth, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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New Zealand conjures up many images. A country steeped in tribal history and culture, it makes me think of the Haka and fierce warriors, beautiful countryside and stunning vistas. It also conjures up images of sheep, snow and rain as opposed to sunshine, beaches and tropical warm waters ideal for someone who is adverse to being A Bit Nippy to learn to scuba dive in.

So I went to Fiji for 11 days.

Over 300 islands make up Fiji. Places like the Yasawas and Robinson Crusoe island are where the backpackers flood to but I just wanted a quiet time. Oh come on, I'm Mid-To-Late-Twenties, the idea of sitting on my arse and reading a book appeals to me now and anyways I didn't want any alcohol related distractions while I was learning to dive. I'd booked a dorm room at McDonalds Beach Cottages on Nananu-I-Ra island, sort of at the top of the Viti Levu (the main island), where the biggest inconvenience is waiting for your hammock to swing the right way so you can reach your beer.

Andy The Cab Driver

I digress. *wipes chops*

Arriving At Nananu-I-Ra

No, Mark Isn't Nekkid In This Photo

After the drive and a 15 minute boat ride I checked into McDonalds, introduced myself to Mark and Margaret who were also staying there, got a beer and as I sat down the heavens opened with that kind of warm, torrential rain you only find in the tropics.

written by  Koala Bear on May 13, 2008 from Nandi, Fiji
from the travel blog: Learning To Dive Fiji Style
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Another View from The Hammock

McDonald's Boat

The course started with a man called Bola rocking up to where I was chilling one evening, handing me a PADI handbook and asking me to complete sections 1 to 3 before I started the actual course in two days time. I assured him I would then proceed to get drunk with Mark and Margaret on Fiji Bitter, the section of my brain that contained the information on which sections I was meant to complete being semi destroyed. The next day I began my studies hoping that I'd remembered which bits to do.

A Bit Of Nananu-I-Ra

Obligtory Hammock Photo

I haven't had to learn anything out of a book for over ten years let alone do tests, by the end of it my brain was fried and my highlighter pen had run out. I only had it for drawing on maps, education wasn't part of the deal and clearly it had issues with it but that was the boring bit over with. Jiorji was my instructor, a good bloke who greeted me with the words, "Bula bula! Welcome to sunshine Fiji!" I glanced back at the drizzle. Right.

The View From The Aptly Named Sunset Point

Mark And Margaret

After a few confined water dives and practising skills I hope I never have to use such as losing my regulator or mask or my air running out (come on, how much practise can prepare you for that kind of panic??) we headed out one morning to the Bligh Waters for my first open water dive. How exciting?

written by  Koala Bear on May 16, 2008 from Nananu-I-Ra, Fiji
from the travel blog: Learning To Dive Fiji Style
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The Dive Boat

Jiorji And A Fat, Red Me

The Bligh Waters are a stunning place to learn to dive though, we saw some of the coolest things. After a day off we went back out to finish my course then I went out on my certified dive. Over the course of all my dives we saw Murray eels, heaps of fish and coral, barracudas, a white tipped reef shark, a sea snake and a couple of lion fish. Two years in the land of Things That Can Poison You Or Tear You Limb From Limb taught me nothing, I still followed the sea snake for a photo op. I think they're pretty venomous, they just don't care enough to bite you is all. Lion fish are poisonous too. I'm not sure if you have to actually suck them in order to die or if they just have to take a fancy to your extremities. I'll look it up and let you know.

Sea Snake

Lion Fish

I fucking love diving so much, seriously, its amazing. It's a whole different world, I can't wait to start diving in other parts of the world and to do some more courses. It ain't cheap but hey, gotta have a hobby apart from travel and what two hobbies go better together than travel and diving? Apart from drinking and shagging but that aside.

Anyway, its official. Finally I'm a diver.

And not just of the muff variety.

Diver!

Ah, skimpies.

They made our time in Kal that much more fun. They wear lingerie behind the bar and go round with a jug called the Titty Kitty (which we never get asked to donate to on account of having breasts of our own) then they disappear for a while and return with stickers on their nipples.

Apart from drooling and planning a three day hike to cross the road the only other things to do in Kalgoorlie - Boulder are visit the Super Pit and one of their many fine brothels. So we did.

Super Pit
It's an incomprehensibly large hole in the ground where they dig for gold, you know, with it being a gold mining town an all.

A Huge Fucking Hole In The Ground

Too Big To Fit In One Photo

A Sod Off Great BIg Bucket

Not Just A Pit... A SUPER Pit

They have blasts a few times a week which you can go and watch but the one that was on while we were there was right at the bottom of the pit so apart from a small rumble we didn't see or feel much.

Meh. Cop out. Its a free way to kill a few minutes though and believe me, after a day in Kalgoorlie - Boulder you'll be looking for anything to kill a few minutes.

Langtrees Brothel Tour

Langtrees 181 Brothel

As well as hiring out girls they hire out the rooms to couples (or however many, they have a Roman Orgy Room) and one of them has a big TV for watching porn (or a Disney movie, whatever takes your fancy) and a video camera mounted on the wall so you can make your own.
Porn or a Disney movie that is. Hey, I don't judge.

I'd rent it but I've got no one to rent it with and $250 per night seems a bit steep just to have a nice sleep.

Drinking And Girls

Us, The Lads And A Skimpy

The Exchange Hotel

The Only Way To Travel In Kal

The night was spent tearing round the streets in shopping trollies, meeting randoms, molesting the statue of Hannan (the founder of Kal), dancing outside the brothel because they had good tunes and generally perving.

Fucking awesome night out.

written by  Koala Bear on April 11, 2007 from Kalgoorlie, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and SouthWestLoop
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Best Breaky In Town

Wot You Lookin' At?

We found out all kinds of fun and exciting things about camels such as they have a Split top lip, they crush food between their bottom teeth and a hard top gum, they stink and they're ugly. We were also told that they can kick forwards, backwards and sideways. We slowly backed away before we got roundhoused by a ninja dromedary.

Me And Loody Go Trekking

Me, Loody, Kim And A Camel

The camel farm is good for a laugh and a handy way to find out someones name if you've known them too long to actually ask it. We got her to sign the visitors book, her name's Kim but she abandonded us in Norseman anyway where we spent the night as she met a mate (who, randomly, knows our mate Bex coz she works at the Travellers in Esperance) who was heading all the way to Esperance that day and for some reason that appealed to her more than sleeping in a cold, damp, one man tent next to two drunk lesbians in swags.

Pah. Some people have no sense of adventure.

written by  Koala Bear on April 12, 2007 from Norseman, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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And what day do we rock up?

Friday the fucking 13th.

Oh joy.

Nommage

Fucking. Stunning.

White Sands, Crystal Ocean

Paradise (If You Can Ignore The Hyperthermia)

With its white sands and clear, turquoise ocean you could be forgiven for thinking you'd died and gone to heaven and there'd be free chocolate cake and vodka when you got back to camp. The illusion is somewhat shattered when you attempt to swim in the aforementioned clear, turquoise ocean though, it might be WA but its still the south coast, its bloody freezing, you could have hung yer coat off my nipples.

We decided that attempting to fish would be the way forward. I say attempt, we can both chuck a line in and sometimes fish get stuck to it but we haven't actually got a bloody clue what we're doing.

The Only Way To Fish

Dusk At Lucky Bay

Well the fish had a good feed at our expense anyway and one of them did decide that the shiny, pointy thing looked tasty so after ripping the hook from its tender flesh and traumatising the hell out of the poor bugger I lobbed it back in.

written by  Koala Bear on April 13, 2007 from Cape Le Grand National Park, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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