Bollocks - Blogabond

When I got back to Auckland over a year ago I questioned the wisdom of laying down a foundation in a city I knew I'd have to leave. I didn't accumulate much material crap, nothing that couldn't be gotten rid of easily enough or left to the next person such as my mattress or chilli bin or fleas. I didn't have any particular sentimental attachment to my $48 DVD player or my yellow vomit bucket which doubled as a handy bedside table when I hadn't drunk too much and I wasn't even overly upset about leaving the half bottle of wine in the fridge although I did swear to sacrifice my liver on the alter of Bacchus for this wanton waste as soon as possible.
But what I couldn't help accumulating was friends; I've met some of the most awesome people in this city and laying down those kind of roots, as comfortable and fun as they are at the time, they run so deep it hurts so so much to rip them up and move on, leave without really knowing when or even if you'll be able to return. I was mainly nomadic in Australia, moving from backpackers to backpackers, city to city, town to town, rarely staying anywhere for more than a few months before the next road trip beckoned and me and my friends, old and new continued our journey. It was hard enough to say goodbye then, even after 2 or 3 months of knowing someone. It never gets any easier and you never get used to it.

Bandwagon; Kim, Nadia, Me And Loren

Here in Auckland I developed friendships from when I arrived back in March that have continued right through my time here until now. I've made new friends along the way, different circles, some who inter-mingle with eachother, some who don't. When you're away from home its these people who become your family, they pick you up when you're down and look after you when you have nowhere else to go. Everyone from the people you spend day in and day out with to the people you catch up with maybe once a month, they all play a part to make your life all the more richer and you can only hope that you can give them the same support and time that they give you, that you affect them in a positive way and you touched their lives like they've touched yours and not in a flithy way your mother wouldn't approve of. You wonder if they quite realise exactly how much they mean to you, indeed, do you even realise yourself until it comes down to that final day when you pack your bags, tie up the loose ends and say good bye to the people that have been your life for more than 12 months?

Ana And The Suz

I've been looking forward to this trip since I made the final decision to head to South America, bought my tickets and started thinking about what I wanted to see. I've bored the hell out of everyone banging on about Machu Picchu and the Galapagos Island, staring at a map of the continent blu-tacked to my wall. It's going to be an amazing trip but this isn't a holiday where I go for a few months then return to NZ. My visa is up, I have to leave and head back to Europe so I can earn the money to come back, I have no time frame nor can I realistically provide one. Its bitter sweet. Sweet because I'll be back doing what I love the most, travelling and not caring, having no responsilities, living day to day, making real a dream I've had for a while to visit this stunning place I've only read about before or seen on TV. Sweet because so many changes happened around the same time thanks to the new moon and the equinox that this was, essentially, the perfect time to leave. But bitter because I know I'll miss everyone here, I'm leaving behind a network of trust and support to jump out of my cosy little comfort zone and back into the unknown. And I'm leaving behind Ana.

Leaving Drinks

Me And The Mrs

Me And Naaaatalieeee

I'm all for stepping out of the comfort zone, in fact I think it's important to do it as much as possible, do the things that make you a little scared or nervous but at the same time make you feel exhilarated and free. You have to push the boundaries to live a little, I love it, I fucking love it so much, it makes me feel alive! I can't wait to land in a country where I have a pathetic grasp of the language. I did take Spanish lessons but I have to get people to repeat themselves in english, I'll be stuffed when they start rattling off in a language where its impossible to distinguish where one word ends and the next one starts. I usually favour the "blank stare" technique when faced with such situations but I'm determind to pick this language up. I can't wait to not know where I'm going to be from week to week, I can't wait to meet other travellers, hear their stories and see their photos, to wander round a town for hours trying to work out where the hell I am and decipher signs and directions given by locals to find where I need to be.

Adam, Keeping It G-A-Y

But shit, I'll miss my life here in Auckland. I'm leaving my friends, my relationship with Ana which, by the way, is a fucking awesome relationship. I'm going to miss her SO much. I can't put it into words.
I'm even going to miss my job. Who misses work?! I'm not well suited to work, I'm definately more of a good for nothing backpacker layabout but I'll miss it. Apart from karaoke nights. My ear drums still haven't forgiven me for accepting those shifts.
But at the end of the day life goes on, it has to. Change is constant and neccessary, if it wasn't for change I'd never have met any of these people that I'll miss so much, I'd never have left the UK, shit I'd still be living in Stockport making lampshades for a living. As one era comes to an end a new and fabulous era opens and not just for me, for the people I'm leaving behind. I know Ana will miss me as much as I'll miss her (and that's prolly the first time I've been able to say that in this blog, usually I've done something or other to piss them off by now), there's was nothing wrong with our relationship, it was amazing, it was merely immigration circumstances that mean we can't be together. But as painful as it is for both of us we both have new opportunities we need to take full advantage of. I have South America then who knows? She has her new job and her new mates that came along at just the right time. It doesn't mean we'll love each other any less and we'll still miss each other like mad.

But like I say. Life does indeed go on. Time to move on.

Time for a new era.

written by

Koala Bear on April 18, 2010 from Auckland, New Zealand

from the travel blog: Tiny Little NZ Road Trip

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