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Cape Leveque

Dampier Peninsula, Australia

I wasn't about to live in Broome for 2 months and not head up the Dampier Peninsula at least once to check out Cape Leveque. I was adamant that the Falcon could do the 200km 4WD recommended dirt and sand road but after Mick at work handed me a tow rope with the words "You'll probably need this then" I decided to go with Darragh and Jon-O in Darragh's Lada.

Please do not adjust your sets.

I said Lada.


The Russian Hummer

He paid $450 for it a few weeks ago and apparently it runs on love unlike the Falcon which runs on unleaded which you can't get up the peninsula at the weekend. In fact, you're hard pushed to get anything up the peninsula, alcohol included so we stocked up on booze and a couple of jerry cans of fuel and began the trek.


On The Road

The Boys; Jon-o And Darragh

The best way to do an unsealed road is with two blokes that don't mind ragging it over the corrugations, it was an awesome ride up although most of my carefully decanted goon ended up on the ceiling of the car, over the back of the head rest in front and all over me. Ah well, everything I own smells of goon anyway, its hard to hold a glass (ok, dirty beer bottle picked up off the floor) straight after a few rounds.

We were basically only going to visit Neil and Becky in their serene, calm, idyllic environment at the Kooljaman Resort, an Aboriginal owned holiday village right at the top of the peninsula at Cape Leveque.


Neil, Jon-o, Darragh, Becky And Me

Ah well, someone had to upset the balance eventually. Oh come on, we didn't know they'd get arsey for transporting one of their staff down to the beach on the bonnet of the Russian Hummer in full resort uniform.

We hadn't really made plans, all we knew was that we were going to head to a salt lake for the night then have breakfast on the beach at One Arm Point, a nearby Aboriginal settlement. Neil decided not to join us, something about preferring to sleep in a nice, cosy bed as opposed to a Lada in the freezing cold and having a perfectly good kitchen to cook breakfast in in the morning.


An Ex-Turtle At One Arm Point

Brekky With Our New Mate, Lumpy The Dog

Meh, some people have no sense of adventure.

It was fun anyways and awesome to see them again. And and and! I even got to drive some of the way back down! I've never driven a 4WD before, I should never be allowed to own one. I'm already convinced the Falcon can go places it can't.

Put me in a 4x4 and I can go anywhere!

permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 15, 2007 from Dampier Peninsula, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged LovinIt
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The Kimberley: Day 1

Windjana Gorge, Australia

I was determined not to get too pissed the night before this tour on account of the fact I had to socialise with a load of people I'd never met before the next day and I generally find this easier to do when I'm not vomiting on them. I was going to drink mid-strength beer and I'd be in bed before midnight and Loody was going to help me accomplish this.

So those plans went out of the window with the bottle of cheap wine and the Jim Beam. Everybody who could make it out to say bye did an all which I wasn't expecting, a few people had to work the next day plus its a mission from the MCG into the Last Resort where I was staying for my last night because dammit, I hadn't slept in a proper bed since Perth and I wanted some comfort before heading into the bush.


Saying Goodbye To The Broome Crew

Ok so I gotta say I was surprised to see a bus full of old people when it finally rocked up but fair enough, they must be ok to do a tour like this, sleeping under the stars and not showering for a bit and to be fair I felt about 75 (Dick's age) that particular morning anyway as I stumbled onto the bus and collapsed at the back, clutching my aching head.
It was definitely going to be different to Heading Bush where we made our way through the outback, terrorising other tour groups and generally being feral but hey, it was going to be amazing, I was going to spend 12 days being chauffeured around, shown cool things, taken to awesome places and being fed things that weren't noodles or tinned spaghetti three times a day.


The Prison Boab
We stopped at a couple of places on the way to our first camp at Windjana Gorge. We saw the Prison Boab tree which is where they held the Aboriginals they'd kidnapped to use in the pearling industry when they were on the way to Derby. Yep, the pearling industry didn't always have backpackers queuing up to get seasick or scabs or bits of shell embedded in their flesh and y'know what, every time I dodge a bottle thrown by an Aborigine or try and ignore a torrent of verbal I'll remember things like this tree and I'll remember who fucked them up in the first place.

Anyway, we got to Windjana Gorge along the famous Gibb River Road, picked up our last member, Isabelle, set up camp and headed into Tunnel Creek which is a walk through a cave. You need a torch, footwear you don't mind getting wet and a liberal definition of "thermal" which is what Glen, our tour guide kept telling us the water was.

Bollocks. It was freezing cold and he'd told us the water would come up to our shins. As the icy water inched above my knees I decided that Glen skipped human biology at school.


The Gibb River Road

Tunnel Creek

Later on, after we'd been fed all kinds of crazy things such as Meat and Vegetables and Things With Nutrients we headed through the gorge in the dark and down to Lennard River. Loads of freshwater crocodiles live there but the best time to see them is at night. Well, their eyes anyway, if you shine a torch into the river it reflects off their eyes and all you see are all these bright yellow pairs of dots. They might be placid compared to the salties but whilst it looks proper cool I wouldn't be getting too close, especially not after blinding them in the name of entertainment.

We spent some time after that just lying in the sand on our backs looking at the sky, watching shooting stars. I'll never get bored of the sky over here when you're out in the bush or the outback. Nothing can prepare you for it when you first see it and every time you see it it feels like the first time. It's just breathtaking.


Nommage On The Fire

Freshie Land

So yeah, day one was cool, my tour group were alright an all and Pam helped me finish the half a bottle of $4 wine I had left over from the previous night and that was it for booze until the next bottle shop which was a few days away. How would I cope?

Pam's cool, she's a terribly English lass in her 70's from Kent who's standard response to everything from "the kettle's on" to "the comet has changed course and we've just averted Armageddon" was "Oh good." She's a retired doctor and anesthetist from the days when they used to use chloroform on kids when they were having their tonsils out.

Ah, chloroform. Every school should have some.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 17, 2007 from Windjana Gorge, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and Kimberley
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The Kimberley: Day 2

Gibb, Australia


Packing Up
We were up before the sun this morning which was pretty much going to be the trend for most of the 12 days because, as Glen said, the Kimberley is all about the daylight hours and fitting as much in as possible. I made a point of ignoring the time. Fortunately I can sleep anywhere, even one of the roughest roads in the world on the back of a huge 4WD bus with my head knocking against the window as I drool onto my own shoulder because we didn't have a full group so I had no one elses shoulder to drool on.

We checked out Windjana Gorge (which used to be a huge coral reef when it was under water) and the crocs in the daylight before jumping onto the bus and heading up the Gibb River Road towards Mount Barnett.


Windjana Gorge

Croc Infested

First stop was Galvan Gorge, its the most accessible gorge up the Gibb and one of the best. Y'know I think I'm over beaches and getting stung by jellyfish, saltwater in my sinuses and sand in my crack but I'll never get bored of gorges and waterfalls and swimming in freshwater pools you can drink out of although I wouldn't because I know what I do when I need to go in the middle of a swim. Its the same reason I'm wary of warm pockets of water near content looking people.


Galvans Gorge

Enjoying A Cold Shower


Rope Swiiiiiiing!

Frolicking At Galvans Gorge

Eventually we tore ourselves away from the waterfall and the pool and got back on the bus to head towards the next walk and our camp for the night.


River Crossing
The walk to Manning Falls begins with a swim, you have to put your shoes and your rucksack in a polystyrene box and push it over in front of you, trying not to panic and drag it under like some of our group did. They gave up and swam back to wait for us while me, Isabelle, Scott and Mary headed to the falls and another swim. The walk is meant to take an hour, it took us half that time on account of the fact no one brought a torch and the thought of heading back in the dark didn't appeal to us. The crew that didn't give up joined us 10 minutes later before we went back.

Y'know when you're on a walk and you're going downhill and you're painfully aware of the fact that its uphill all the way back? I'd been trying to ignore the fact we had to get back across the river and it had already started to cool down. Ah well, its not like we had a choice in the matter now is it and at least I'd have a handy place to hang me coat until my nipples warmed up again.


Manning Falls

One of the key things on tours like this is that everyone jumps in and helps with everything, from collecting firewood to preparing food. I'm not used to Proper Food, I'm used to getting all my major food groups from goon, I wasn't sure my body would know what to do with all these nutrients and I was starting to get withdrawals from the additives and preservatives. Still, I did my best though ay, I didn't do too badly.

I mean, normally I'm fucked if it doesn't come in a packet with the word "noodles" stamped across it.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 18, 2007 from Gibb, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and Kimberley
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The Kimberley: Day 3

Drysdale, Australia


Swapping Buses
Last night Glen had told us about a little problem he'd found with Betsy, his beloved bus. He enlightened us with load of mechanical jargon which went totally over my head and brought on the urge to wear pink and play with dolls like the girl that I am but the top and bottom of it was, the 4WD on the rear axle wouldn't engage and with this being a 4WD tour that wasn't a good thing. Fortunately we were in a position to swap buses, an All Terrain Safaris vehicle coming from Darwin were on their way down from the Mitchell Plateau and we could have their bus because the home straight didn't need 4WD.

Brilliant.

However, it meant getting up at 5am.

There are two five o' clocks in a day??


Beeeeeeeer!!
We met the other bus at the Gibb River crossing and I got chatting to an English couple from Glastonbury about where they'd been, how their trip was and how they were coping without beer. They'd just come back from Drysdale station which has 1 million acres of land and a bottle shop. I'm not sure which of these facts I was more impressed by. The bloke left and I chatted to his missus for a while then he came back and dumped 5 cans of icy cold Tooheys New into my arms. I think I fell in love with him at that moment, I'd have hugged him if I wasn't too busy hugging beer. Back on our new bus and the others declined my offer of sharing them, something about it only being 10am or something. Meh. They obviously haven't spent long enough with backpackers.

The rest of the day was spent driving up the the Mitchell Plateau which takes half your life on account of the corrugations you can lie down in. We crossed the King Edward river, set up camp on the banks and went for a swim. Fuck me, that water was cold. Its the kind of cold that causes you to make involuntary monkey noises as you ease yourself in so you can imagine the kind of noise I made when I slipped on a rock and went arse over tit into the water. Meh. I was only intending to go for a bloody paddle an all.


Cunt Of A Road

There aren't many things scarier than filling a washing up bowl from a river inhabited by crocodiles in the pitch black with only a piss poor head lamp for company but that's what I ended up doing because no one else would. I don't care that they're "only freshwater" crocs, knowing my luck I'd come face to face with the only freshie in the river with PMT that was having a bad day anyway coz some tour leader shone a light in its eyes the night before to impress the group. I didn't see anything but it didn't stop that overwhelming feeling of abject terror you only get when you're a kid and you think the gremlins are after you.

Later on we bribed some kids with marshmallows to tell us stories and jokes.

Nope, there's not much else in the way of entertainment in one of the most remote parts of Australia.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 19, 2007 from Drysdale, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and Kimberley
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The Kimberley: Day 4

Mitchell Plateau, Australia

One of the reasons I did this tour was because they went up to the Mitchell Falls, an amazing 4 tiered waterfall in one of the most remote parts of Oz. Not all tours do it because its hard on the vehicle and its a bloody long way. I reckon its worth it.

I don't know what I expected from a camp site that's so hard to get to but I didn't expect a toilet. We got one anyway, a standard drop toilet like the ones you find all through the Kimberley and at 24hr Stopping free camps on the side of the road. For those of you who haven't experienced the joy of drop toilets, let me explain;
They're basically a toilet bowl which I strongly advise you to hover over instead of sit on even if you need to shit, seriously, work those quads. And its a classic Don't Look Down situation coz if you look down you'll find out exactly what everyone who used the bog before you had for breakfast. And lunch and dinner for that matter. They're waterless, you just do what you gotta do, close the lid and walk away and decomposition does the rest. Its times like these you learn exactly how long you can hold your breath for.

Aaaanyways, on to more pleasant things like eating insects.

Yep, eating insects. While we were walking up to the falls we passed loads of green ant nests. They make nests in trees out of leaves and the ants taste like sour lime, I didn't eat one though on account of the fact I'm socially conditioned not to put insects in my mouth. No. I just licked its arse.

And once more for the record; I licked an ants arse.


Eat A Fucking Lime Instead!

Big Merton Falls

Mitchell Falls are awesome, I could sit and watch them for hours. I'd love to fly over them during the Wet just to see how amazing they look in full force. We spent a bit of time swimming at the top of the falls, you can't swim anywhere else because the Wungurr Creator Snakes live there and will punish you for your disrespect. Well, that and you'd probably be sucked over the edge to your death anyway, its best to nod and smile and go "Hmm, yeah, creator snakes" and just stay where they want you to.


The Stunning Mitchell Falls

There are two ways back to the car park from the falls; either you spend 90 minutes walking back the way you came or you take a helicopter back. Options range from the 6 minute Taxi flight which will cost $90 to the Coastal flight which takes you for miles and will cost you your first born and two limbs. Me, Pat, Dick and Pam went with the $90 option which meant we had to cook dinner for the others when we got back because Glen wanted to have dinner at Little Merton Falls where we could watch the sunset. It's a nice idea in theory and getting there with large pans of food, plates, drinks and cutlery was no problem. Getting back with one torch between four of us was slightly more amusing. Have you noticed how many more rocks there are when you can't see them?


Taxi Home

Mitchell Falls From The Air

Today was awesome, it was a big day and I was suitably knackered as were Scott (22) and Isabelle (27), we fell asleep listening to the old folk singing Waltzing Matilda and slating the "young uns" for not being able to keep up with them.


Dinner At Little Merton Falls

Well some of us are conditioned to get an early night for work the next day thankyouverymuch.

Well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 20, 2007 from Mitchell Plateau, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and Kimberley
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The Kimberley: Day 6

Gibb, Australia

Today we rocked up to El Questro station, or El Shiny Town as its also known. They have 1 million acres of land but only 8000 cattle which they move around randomly and pretend to be a working cattle station as opposed to the overpriced flashy resort they are so they don't lose their lease. Its $15 per person per night just to camp here and if you want to stay in the homestead its $2000, minimum stay two nights.


El Questro Gorge

El Questro Gorge

Nope, my finger didn't slip on the zeros then, its two thousand dollars per night. I have no idea what this will get you but for that price I'd want topless waitresses and oral sex.

Earlier in the day we'd had lunch at a lookout that randomly had chairs and tables positioned in the middle of nowhere where, apparently, the posh folks from Home Valley station went to watch the sunset. As I stuffed the Biggest Sandwich In The World into my mouth I wondered how much they paid to get up here for their sunset which would no doubt involve champagne and a tablecloth. I bet it was no where near what the El Questro posh folks paid for theirs.


El Shiny Town; Note The Helicopter In The Background

After a quick walk through El Questro Gorge and a mad dash up an intense 4WD track to Branco's Lookout for nibbles at sunset (check us out, how El Questro are we?) it was time for hot showers and cold beers and a quick talk why we had to beat the Connections tour bus to Zebedee Hot Springs the next day, there were about 20 of them and there's limited space in the pools. No worries, as Tom pointed out they wouldn't go very fast with flat tyres... No, apparently this wasn't an option, we just had to get up early. Oh what a fucking surprise.

Later on I caught sight of myself in the full length mirror in the shower; I was getting proper fat, I looked three months gone. It must be all that Proper Food, it must be just sitting in my stomach not digesting because my body hasn't got a fucking clue what to do with it.

The diet, as always, would start tomorrow.

permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 22, 2007 from Gibb, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and Kimberley
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The Kimberley: Day 7

Kununurra, Australia

Connections hadn't even folded their table cloth by the time we drove out of the camp site and to Zebedee. Scott lived in Kununurra and was a regular to El Questro and the hot springs, we followed him to the warmest pool where we stayed until we got wrinkly or, in some cases, wrinklier. I love sitting in hot water, me, I'll never get bored of it. Of course its infinitely better with a large quantity of alcohol but whatever, its still nice just to chill out in a vat of water that isn't gonna get cold anytime in the next few thousand years.


The Girls In The Hot Pools

Zebedee Thermal Pools

It was today that we finished the Gibb River Road and got back onto the tarmac. We'd done it, we'd survived the Gibb. Ok, so we survived it in a big shiny air conditioned bus driven by an expert but hey, we did it anyway. And so it was onto Kununurra where we'd be losing Pat, Dick, Lil, Tom, Pam and Scott because they had better things to do than go back to Broome.


Scott, Isabelle, Me, Pat, Dick, Lil, Pam, Mary, Bill And Tom

Ok, here's the thing, tomorrow we had a whole free day to ourselves and I couldn't even fill an afternoon. Seriously, it takes about 4 minutes to walk around town and I didn't fancy any of the overpriced cruises up the Ord River. I did however manage to find a 4 litre cask of goon in a bottle shop. This made me happier than it should have done and I made a mental note to keep a close eye on my drinking habits although I quickly forgot this mental note later on when me and Isabelle were drinking it out of the bag.
So I was trotting back to the camp site, chuckling to myself over the discovery of the joyous 4 litre cask of goon when Scott pulled up in his Landcruiser and asked me if I wanted to go out on his boat.


Scott's Jet Boat

Elephant Rock

Oh, ok then. We drove to his and took his boat back up the river to the campsite to fetch the others. On the way we went passed Elephant Rock, so called because it looks like an elephant.

Erm... does it?

  • squints*


    • Nope, can't quite see it. Has anyone got any spare hallucinogens because clearly that's the only way I'm going to see an elephant in that there rock.

    We watched the sunset over the Ord River from Scott's boat which shat all over the posh expensive sunsets the people at the station pay for then went to the local pub for a last meal together and a few drinks.


    Sunset Over Lake Kununurra

    Despite the age differences we'd all got on really well, Pat and Dick even said I could go and stay with them in Tasmania any time I wanted on the condition I didn't swear in front of their grandkids.

    Swear? Moi?

    I'm sure I don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 23, 2007 from Kununurra, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and Kimberley
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    The Kimberley: Day 8

    Kununurra, Australia

    Today was time for a lie in. Oh sweet joy of joys! Even though a lie in when you live outdoors means getting up with the sunrise as opposed to before it even gets light.

    Whatever, we could get up when we felt like it and fill our mornings however we chose. We didn't have anything to do until 9am when we'd be dropping Pam off at the coach stop, leaving Bill in town because he was over large bodies of water containing crocodiles and picking Pat and Dick up from their motel because they had the sense to book into one instead of sleeping on the floor in a swag for their last couple of nights in WA before heading to Scott's place again.


    Launching The Boat

    Pat In The Tube

    Scott's lovely, he's one of them blokes that are incredibly good looking and genuinely nice with it. Bastard. He's also got money, I actually heard the words "only $3000" come out of his mouth. In that order. Only $3000? Is that it? I'll have two.
    He was going to take me, Pam, Dick, Isabelle, Mary and Glen out for the day where we'd be dragged along the Ord on body boards and tubes. And here's me worrying about how I was going to fill the day.


    Lovin' It

    One Way To Spend A Morning

    Being dragged along by a jet boat is loads of fun, you just have to remember to let go out the rope if you come off the board or you risk giving the crocs an interesting view of your nipples. There's also a 10 metre jump into the river, about the same height as the big jump at Blackwall Reach which I only did once then seemed to leave my nerve in the car every time I went back. Apparently I must have forgotten to collect it this time as well, I got to the top and my legs refused to let me jump. My head wanted to do it, I know its a rush and I know I'd love it once I did it but nope, the legs thought better of it. This is obviously something I need to deal with, I only need two irrational fears in my life and those are spiders and commitment. Babies scare me as well but they're a bit slower than spiders and you can usually stamp on them before they try and run up your leg.


    Pretty Places

    Pretty Views

    Ok I'm just trying to put off what I'm going to say next. Pat did the jump. Pat's 69. I was put to shame by a 69 year old woman. If I'm half the woman Pat is when I'm 69 I'll be happy, she has a go at everything, no questions asked, she's an inspiration. In short, Pat rocks.

    Only me, Bill, Isabelle and Mary from the original group would be heading back and tonight we were joined by four of our new crew who'd be coming back to Broome with us. There was Sally and Simon, a couple of southern fairies and Paula and Ed, two northern monkeys from Sale. We had a BBQ then me and the new lot bonded the only way English people know how; Down the pub.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 24, 2007 from Kununurra, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and Kimberley
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    The Kimberley: Day 9

    Purnululu National Park, Australia

    This morning we picked up our last newbies, four people from Melbourne, then headed towards Purnululu National Park, better known as the Bungle Bungles. It was weird being back on sealed roads but when we heard a tour bus had literally split in half along the Gibb the other day I could have kissed the tarmac.

    It took most the day to get to the Bungles then we did the Cathedral Gorge walk which is just brilliant.


    The Only Way Into Purnululu
    I was having a lot of doubts about the way I was running my life when I was in Broome for number of reasons. I was wondering what I was doing uprooting myself from situations where I was comfortable and happy and taking myself to places where I was miserable in the name of adventure and seeing everything in the world. Since the day I got to Broome I was constantly toying with the idea of going back to Perth and giving up on seeing the rest of the country, the west coast was what I mainly wanted to do anyway and I was happy in Perth. But just doing things like taking a helicopter flight over the Mitchell Falls and wandering through the Bungle Bungles ranges made me realise that yeah, I'm doing it right. This is what its all about, this is why I get out of bed in the morning. I need a constant influx of new things to play with and do and its worth it for a month or two of confusion and hurt. No matter how low you get, no matter how bad the situation is or how unsure you are, something will work out in the end. Something always crops up and everything happens for a reason.

    I have no regrets about the way I do things and I'll never give this life up for anything.

    Somewhere along this walk, if you stop, stand next to a certain rock and listen you can hear a humming noise coming out of the actual rock. Mary said the rocks were singing but Mary's a fucking fruit loop. Its just full of bees, millions of robber bees, so called because they rob off with other bees honey and lock it inside rocks so nothing can rob it off them. Pikeys.

    Eventually you come to the reason its called Cathedral Gorge, its like this massive cave with a brilliant echo. Mary started doing her thing with branches again so I hung back to make sure there'd be no weirdness before I went in. We chilled there for a bit then headed up to a lookout to watch the sunset over Purnululu with chips and dips and pickled onions. This was the sweatiest we'd been since the trip started and it was the only time we didn't have access to any water at all, no swimming and no showers apart from a hosepipe hooked up to a cold tap.


    And If You Look Closely You Can Just About Make Out My 6th Chin

    But yeah, Purnululu is brilliant. It's just utterly peaceful, fucking awesome. And to think I could have been back in Perth at this point.

    Nope. Not for anything.

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 25, 2007 from Purnululu National Park, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
    tagged RoadTrip, LovinIt and Kimberley
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    The Kimberley: Day 10

    Purnululu National Park, Australia

    A helicopter ride over Purnululu will cost you $185 for 18 minutes so that morning I duly handed over the Magic Plastic and jumped on the scales for the obligatory weigh in. I'm 5kg heavier than I was when I had my medical in February. FIVE! Although I think at least four of that is my extra chin which is currently in direct competition with my arse to take over the world. I don't know how that happened, one day I have one chin, the next day it has company. If this continues I'm gonna start charging it rent.


    Taking Off

    Fuckin' Love Choppers, Me

    Aaaanyways, the flight was awesome, I love helicopters, they're just so fucking cool!

    Once we were all firmly grounded it was time for more walks through pretty places that we could ooh and ahh at. There's not much else to say about them, its all about the scenery and the photos don't do it justice but what the hell, I can't think of anything else suitably coherent to say.

    Have some more photos.


    Purnululu Sunset

    permalink written by  Koala Bear on July 26, 2007 from Purnululu National Park, Australia
    from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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