I forget Ed is mine, I created him.

I forgot Mario is mine, I have intended and created him.

Have I created me>

written by  napulelehuameae on March 10, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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Ugh

Remember.

Now you do.

written by  napulelehuameae on March 10, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOY AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH

written by  napulelehuameae on March 10, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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You are going to

A) Understand Red Nation patterning, genetics so that you begin to honor yourself, your soul, the Earth, your home, your body, and everybody else
(Reversal)

B) Give Back unto those who you have taken from

C) Go home eventually

I have been given a possibility.

I see it is possible.

For everyone

Even you Anu.

I have seen it.

written by  napulelehuameae on March 10, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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I should start seeing things in a new light.

I should be allowed my full expression and the expression of it, including whatever feeling I am feeling whenever I am feeling them.

I should not allow myself to hold back. If I feel a certain way, then, that is the way I feel.

And everybody will have to pay for it. And take it. Because I can not take hiding anymore.

What do I have to hide anyway?

Funny my emotions are always the ones I hide.

Well, I will see where the emotions lead.

Just intend balanced giving and receiving.

written by  napulelehuameae on March 9, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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How am I going to get it?

Whenever I do, I falsely ascend.

And the same things repeat again.

I am afraid of the same things happening with John happening with Aaron.

I can't have that happen again.

That's what rising up out of the fear based patterning means.

What am I going to do in the meantime.

Get ready.

I'm sick of looking at the details, I'm sick of looking, quite frankly. My ancestry is sick of looking.

Why is it always me that sees?

How is it I am supposed to be bringing more light into my life when I feel like what I am looking for is buried in the darkness.

I can understand now the balance.

I can understand what I came here to do.

written by  napulelehuameae on March 9, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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Sun Mario Queen Of Cups John

Together

Seven of Pentacles

AHHHHHHHHHH

Heart of the Tao realllllllly reeeeeeeeallllly needs to get to comin around here soon in a big fuckin way and I see that now. I realize more of the darkness we are sitting in. I had to rerealize though because I already knew all that in high school.

All the things in high school I wish I still knew now but I will remember. I have to and when I remember all of it, damn! Watch out! I'm going home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No matter what this time, and no, I will not be pulled apart again like last time. There is a time and place for everything. Of course, there is a time set for me to return home. I see 50 years.

And no, my great nonphysical friends with all ye nonphysical power. Watch this, I get return home in 50 years, not die, so yeah, watch that. The things I see you see with me but you do not give me sight.

Being in the school, ok yes, I did want this for a long time, but it was too painful for that part of self to be around anymore. Maybe it has found its home, maybe I am too busy doing others with things but eventually I will be back there.

The people here to do own what I have and do not use what I want. What I want is to be free, and to see clearly, my truth and everything that is my truth. Well dah, Francine, your truth is already there.

I retrieve now everything I have lost to the nonphysical. HA Soooo....

yeeeaahhhhh

That's how they get to abuse everything is because they have all my power but not for long and oh, you want to fight me for it//????? WELLL!!!! How are you going to do all that when you are powerless now because I have stripped from you all that power that was supposed to be mine through intention, that I let you have for a alittle bit, and now that I have intended to call it back to myself, have are you going to use it??? Huh>????

Ok, so sleep now, I get back to seeing more. Widening the viewfinders of the world that lay in front of me waiting for my call.

Eo

Eo MAI!!!!!!!!!!

written by  napulelehuameae on March 6, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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I see people around me begining to listen to their Native American ancestors where were key I see now because that was the root race that was used to create the slave. This races holds the key to unity and the slaves can easily maneuver themselves over to the unity side red way if the movement and chi and love is available to do so with grace and ease. They are the ones that do the most harm in the physical anyway...

I can also see how I thought I was going to change and inherently save Aaron because I had changed and intended to change. That didn't work out as planned and still hold guilt for the whole experience to this day. Not so with Ed, he had already done the amount of change he was capable of in this lifetime but I thought that things would be ALOT different with Aaron and this is also where my vision was switched with anothers....

written by  napulelehuameae on March 2, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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MOTHERFUCKERS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where is my youth???

Where is my everything!!!!!!!!!!

I am growing old!!!!!!!!!!

I was never supposed to!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am giving in!~~!@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am giving up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE IS MY YOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE IS MY FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE IS MY MUTHAFOOKIN ANGER MOTHERFUCKERS!

Stop the SHIT ALREADY! I've HAD ENOUGH OF YOU AND YOUR GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THATS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA GO HOME! HOW CAN I GET A HOLD OF EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW CAN THIS BE HOMECOMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE THE MOTHEFUCKIN AM I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How am I supposed to be at Peace!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS PEACE WHAT IS PEACE WHAT IS PEACE WHAT IS PEACE WHAT IS PEACE

THIS IS NOT PEACE THIS IS NOT PEACE THIS IS NOT PEACE

WHERE IS ALL MY POWER Where has my gentleness gone. Where has all my sooth faint lines gone. Now I am hard taught lose and nigh, light lose tight and high. I have lost stuff I didn't know I had. That I was lead to believe I didn't have. Now I am becoming a dead adult zombie like everybody around me.

Wonderful. All that I thought I had, I didn't??? All that I didn't have, I thought I did????

I believed so much about myself, my strength, my resilience, and push against the tides. Now I see my strength wither amoungst the failing tides. Everything I have wanted I have not felt.

Well, that is my realization for the day. The *things* I have wanted to receive, I have more or less. The things I have wanted to feel have not been so easy. Especially when my capacity to feel has been damaged as much as it has....

But maybe if I have hope. I still have hope, for this year and this summer...

written by  napulelehuameae on March 1, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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Argh.

Oh well, I am still busy trying or least hopefully, retrieving more of my stuff from England. What stuff? Why did my stuff even GO there in the first place is really my question?

What the hell is up with England anyway???

I never had any connection with England and then all of a sudden it was inserted in there to my dream like that! I see these things and I say I want this I want this I want this I don't want this I don't want this I don't want this and it seems to collide with eachother.

Ok, I'll be honest. I am still missing keys. But thats fine. What I am really missing is the key to get those new keys, thats what I am missing. and I need it.....

Talk about not emboding ascension Sometimes it gets me sometimes whatever it'll come someday because it is still my intention

written by  napulelehuameae on February 28, 2008 from Eugene, United States
from the travel blog: My Life
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