Happy Birthday (James)

Last Wednesday we rushed my grandmother to the hospital. She was incoherent, had a temperature of 102, and hadn't passed any urine in over 12 hours. When we got her to the hospital, we had to make a decision to either intibation her or let her pass. My grandmother is DNR, but we didn't have the paperwork with us and we were not at her usual hospital. In a quick decision, my cousin decided to intibate her. This was done to prolong her life for a short time so that her children and grandchildren can say their goodbyes.

On Friday, January 6th, my mom and her brothers and sisters met to discuss when to take out the intibation tube. I can only imagine what that conversation was like, but I'm definitely sure it wasn't a fun conversation to be a part of. They decided to take my grandmother off the ventilator on Saturday afternoon.

That night, my cousins and I decided to go to AJ's house for dinner and games. It was a chance for us to relax before what we knew was going to be a long and emotional day. We ended up playing the original Nintendo (Kings of the Beach, Bommerman, and Off Road) for about three hours. Then, as always, played Scategories until 3 AM.

January 7th was a very long day. They extibated my grandmother at 1PM and we were told that she would pass within the hour. At 4PM, my grandmother still alive and with good vital signs, everyone decided to go home and get some rest. I decided to stay at the hospital to give the rest of my family the opportunity to sleep. During that time I was alone with my grandmother and had the chance to say good-bye to her.

My grandmother taught my me and my cousins how to read. She was our pre-school teacher. I remember her cutting up cardboard boxes and making flash cards with phonic sounds on them. So the flash cards would have say "at" on one side and the letters on separate flash cards. She would put the two together to make c-at or b-at or f-at. This would go on and on. I attribute where I am today to my grandmother. She gave all of us the foundation that we needed to succeed in school and we have all done that. I thanked my grandmother for this.

At midnight, it was planned that some other cousins would come and relieve me. At that time, I came home to get some rest.

January 8th...I woke up at 6 again because I couldn't sleep. I knew that my grandmother was going to go soon. Before I left, her kidneys had already shut down...so it was just a waiting game. By 1:22, my grandmother finally passed away.

At the funeral for my grandfather, my grandmother told him to wait for her because she would join him soon. None of us thought it would be within two weeks. It's kind of sweet and romantic. After 58 years of marriage, they are now on another journey together.

I've been asked countless times how I am doing. Truthfully...I'm numb. I've also been asked about how I'm taking it as my grandmother passed away on my birthday. To me, it's sort of an honor to share this day with her.

So now it appears that I am here for another week. The funeral is being set for either Wednesday or Thursday. On Friday, my cousins and I are planning on going snowboarding. On Sunday, I should be back in San Diego. I can't wait!

James

written by  James Coloma on January 9, 2006 from Sacramento, United States
from the travel blog: Rob & James - Cross Country Trip - December 2005 to January 2006
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