Along the way we passed such fun towns as Fisty, Mousie, and other such odd places. Unfortunately, I didn't realize we'd been through Fisty until we'd gone through. I really wanted some pictures with Fisty signs. :(

So.

We pull into Hazard at about 7 and are bewildered to discover that this place that boasted two hotels (according to Streets and Trips [don't use it!]) seemed to consist of a community college, a handful of houses, a police station and a car show. Ack!

Out of the car, we're leaned over the back looking over the atlas and streets and trips. Unfortunately, without knowing exactly where we were, we couldn't get to the bloody hotels. Flagged down a guy on a motorcycle (I know, brilliant). He was great. I decided to call him Major Tom because that's the song I was thinking of.

Turns out Hazard is divided into the Hazard you can reach without the interstate (Where we were) and the Hazard where you have to come off of or pass the interstate. He took us up there and we found SEVERAL hotels, some nice restaraunts (anyone else realize that Rio Grande and La Carreta are actually A chain?) and, lo! A walmart.

So we found a really nice Super 8 and settled in (The shower creaked alarmingly, but otherwise it wasn't a particularly notable location). Went up to the local Mexican place (something "Azure", I remember laughing at it) and then to the walmart where we bought our lovely teal camera.

Unforunately, to date, our connections have been too slow to upload any.

written by  eightcubed on August 16, 2008 from Hazard, United States
from the travel blog: Honeymoon
tagged Hazard
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So, we sat down with the computer and worked up a list of directions that were supposed to take us from Hazard to Helen in about 7 hours. Very VERY detailed directions this time around.

Well, we were doing pretty good till we got to this place called Tellico Plains. I started getting kind of car sick, so I set Russ on a stretch of the directions that were going to be about 50 miles (aka, approximately an hour) and leaned my chair back for the purpose of sleeping. Well, I kind of groggily came to a couple of times. We'd somehow gotten misplaced.

Russ stopped into a gas station to grab me some cheezits and a water bottle to settle my stomach (probably got sick at least in part because I hadn't been able to eat anything with my tongue all swollen) and got directions.

The gas station attendant was a flaming bitch. She stuck us on the Cherola Skyway (or however you spell it). "Yuo'd better get gas here, it's 50 miles till Robbinsville."

52 miles, to be precise. Pretty much a mile up. At 7pm. Without lights. Without any exits or real stops.

Russ started getting aa little sick on the way up, and I still wasn't feeling well, but we stuck with it because it looked like the "short" way. About an hour or an hour and a half later, we finally managed to slither off the hill (I'm pretty much passed out over the door at this juncture). Ten-ish miles to Robbinsville.

Fuck.

I'd had it: 52 miles of curves and ups and downs and I couldn't handle it anymore. Russ pulled over and I staggered out into the grass. Apparently the Sherriff arrived at that juncture, but I wouldn't know because I was apparently ridding myself of more food/water/other beverages than I even knew I'd had.

Russ got directions into town (ignoring or not hearing me for a few minutes as I begged for paper towels) and the sheriff laughingly informed us that we'd just been on the "path to hell". Ha ha ha. So funny. So hilarious. What a riot.

After we left the sherriff, we went into Robbinsville to see about some food, hoping we'd get our second wind and be able to go on to Helen that night (3 hours away).

Well, turned out when we made a stop for me to go to the bathroom that I couldn't stand the smell of food, so we had to give it up (This is also ignoring that I was shaking like a leaf and seeing all sort of strange color).

Pulled into the Microtel, where they also laughed.

Ate a potato and passed out.

written by  eightcubed on August 16, 2008 from Robbinsville, United States
from the travel blog: Honeymoon
tagged Cherola, Skyway, Hell, Sick and Robbinsville
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We got out pretty early, bought some shirts and post cards to show off our stupidity, and headed out. It was more or less smooth sailing from there. We got breifly lost (sort of. We thought we were lost, but it turns out they just suck at marking their roads in North Carolina) but ended up in Helen about 1.

[this is monday, by the way. Not Sunday, as we'd originally planned]

We pretty much laid around and recuperated.

I had a potato.

written by  eightcubed on August 16, 2008 from Helen, United States
from the travel blog: Honeymoon
tagged FirstDay, Helen and ThirdDay
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Russ (correctly) diagnosed that a baked potato a day was not sufficient nutrition. So he dragged me off my ass into town (pictures to follow: he's putting some up as I write this), still feeling pretty crummy and dizzy and we found a nice little icecream parlor. I flopped down on the table and he went to get me a milkshake. We'd gotten there right before they closed (which would explain why the door had been locked, hm...) but they were pretty cool about it (probably something about the chick passed out on their table trying to suck down a milkshake)

So the cold helped. I went from "soubing sumfing like dis" to actually sounding like human speech with a little slurring on the softer constanants.

We went around to a handful of other shops, but really almost everything was closed (it was nearly 6) so we went to Hans for dinner.

Fantastic bread. Not sure about the salad, but the croutons were great and the inch and a half or so I had of my Wienersnitzel. I think Russ enjoyed his Knockwurst (or brockwurst?...something Wurst) and we carried off the majority of my snitzel and a loaf of bread to our condo-lair.

written by  eightcubed on August 16, 2008 from Helen, United States
from the travel blog: Honeymoon
tagged 4
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Will attempt to pre-type and upload blog bits this eening/.

written by  eightcubed on August 14, 2008 from Helen, United States
from the travel blog: Honeymoon
tagged Bugger, Shoot and Intentions
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We got back to the hotel at about 11, maybe a little earlier. The room was blessedly freezing (thank you Russ) and I could actually breath again after he got me a little unzipped. Turns out that the boning on the dress stopped just a little long of my ribcage, so when I sat down it completely compressed my lungs.

Anyway. So we were supposed to have a bottle of champagne waiting in the room, "Compliments to the newly weds", but it wasn't there, so Russ went ahead and called down to ask them to send it up. It got there. With a bill. He told the waiter that we were supposed to get that for free, but the man wasn't sure so he went back down to check on it. We ordered room service (absolutely bloody FANTASTIC chicken quesidilla for me and a burger of, I presume, fair appetizations for him) and a margarita for me.

BLEK! Psychos put the salt IN the drink. Not on the rim, IN the drink.

Nonetheless, we finished up and headed off to bed for the night

We got up at 7 this morning, more or less rested (FYI: the comforter at the Marriot makes a noise like a bag of hissing snakes every time you move.), were ready to get out by about 8:30, 9. Called Dad to come pick up the suit and dress and bring me some cake (the only piece I got was the little bit Russ fed me)

To Be Continued....

written by  eightcubed on August 9, 2008 from Hazard, United States
from the travel blog: Honeymoon
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We got done with that after about ten minutes (probably could have used to scrub a bit, honestly, as there are still whitish streaks on the sides and windows) and headed to the bank where I utilized my minimal math skills to discover (after a great deal of confusion) that I was actually depositing 25$ less than I initially thought because the bank does not take Chilis gift cards.

We went from there to Big Lots looking for disposable cameras (no such luck) then to our favorite Saturday lunch/breakfast place for hotdogs (for Russ) and a barbeque (for me) From there we went to Kmart for hair scrunchies and something else....neither can remember what at the moment.

So, after stopping for gas and coffee for Russ, we finally got out of Charleston at about noon.

Kenova got hit about 1-ish, and Louisa at about two.

That's where it all went wonky. Russ wasn't feeling good, so we got off the main road, intending to cut through Louisa on the side instead of head on. Well, we got into town and saw a sign for Inez, which we identified as a city more or less along our route. Assuming, as sane people would, that the road would lead in rather short order to Inez, we hopped on that route. I was feeling a little drowzy/crummy and fell asleep.

When I woke up about an hour later, Russ was in front of the car on the computer trying to figure out where we were. Apparently we'd passed through Clifford a short time before, but that was the last seen sign.

So. About half an hour later we arrived in Inez with joyful accompaniments of "KFC! I SEE A KFC!"

Inez was, by the way, pretty much entirely that KFC.

So there we met our first help: Rob the Trucker.

To be continued yet again!

written by  eightcubed on August 9, 2008 from Hazard, United States
from the travel blog: Honeymoon
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Wish us luck!

written by  eightcubed on August 7, 2008 from Charleston, United States
from the travel blog: Honeymoon
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Things are pulling together pretty fast. We've (hopefully) got everything under control though.

Now to figure out how to pack...

written by  eightcubed on August 4, 2008 from Charleston, United States
from the travel blog: Honeymoon
tagged Packing, GettingReady and PreWedding
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