Being A Tourist - Day 12

Tuesday was a designated rest day. A day to chill out, maybe sit on the beach, just generally relax.

The Unsinkable River Train. Sounds Like A Challenge

Relax? What is this Relax of which you speak? Instead, we drove down to the Daintree River for a cruise on the River Train which is the only one of its kind in the world. There are no life jackets on board because they don't need them, every one of the carriages is a life boat and the River Train has been certified unsinkable. Just like the Titanic. Although the River Train has the advantage of a distinct lack of icebergs in the Daintree River and to be honest, a life jacket in a croc infested river isn't really gonna do you the world of good now is it.

It's a nice enough cruise, we only saw one tiny croc on a log but it was cool. Once we were back on land we drove up to the Daintree Discovery Centre, it was a random stop because we thought they might have tea. They did. And cake. And all kinds of exciting stuff for you to look at such as rainforest and things to do such as an aerial rainforest walk. Who'd have thunk it, right here in the rainforest.

Daintree Aeriel Walk

At The Top Of The Rainforest

Walkway Through The Trees

The Daintree. Some Of It Anyway.

Obviously we still weren't over trees so we had a wander round the walkway to the top which is a measly 23 metres. I think Valley Of The Giants is 40 metres and Otways Skywalk is about 47 metres but these places don't have all kinds of plants with needles and barbs that want to stick in you and cause you pain such as the Wait-A-While, so called because if it catches your clothes or flesh you just have to wait a while for someone to come and rescue you. For once I wasn't the spikiest thing in the area and I was becoming less worried about the elusive FNQ Funnel Web and more worried about being attacked by foliage.

For Once I'm Not The Spikest Thing In The Area

Strangler Fig

We didn't see any cassowaries here though, the rare, endangered and horribly vicious bird which inhabits the Daintree but we'd seen one a few days previous right outside our cabin at Cape Trib Beach House. Here's me demonstrating the correct way to act when confronted by one of these dangerous birds.

Bring It, Bitch

You're meant to make yourself as big as possible and back away slowly whilst bystanders take your photo and mock you. The warning posters tell you to never take your eyes off the bird and if it begins to get aggressive to hold something out in front of you such as a bag or a jumper.

A jumper. In the fucking rainforest.

Although to be honest if I was confronted by one of these things I'd probably just run screaming like the bitch that I am, never mind that it'd outrun me and tear me from limb to limb. Its like telling you to stand very very still and not move whilst an Inland Taipan slithers over your feet, clearly you'd kick it and run.

And that is reason number 26 why I should never try and go feral in the bush.

Chill Out, Not Flat Out

Being A Tourist - Day 12

Cape Tribulation, Australia