On The Road To The Mitchell Falls

One of the places we stopped was an Aboriginal burial ground. Glen told us not to take cameras in, it was bad luck. He also told us we didn't have to go in if we didn't want to then started to tell us all about the area, the burial rituals and how to behave in a place like this. Glen was adopted by an Aboriginal family and grew up in a remote settlement in the Daintree, Queensland. As a result he knows more than most white guides about Aboriginal culture, we were lucky to get him for this tour which did focus quite a lot on Aboriginal rock art and their beliefs, its not something I'm normally interested in, I just wanted to look at the pretty waterfalls and the Bungle Bungles but the way Glen talked and his obvious passion for the subject did instill some sort of interest.

And here's where things got weird. Mary, a Kiwi lass living in Sydney who alternated between talking like she had the mental age of 8 ("ooh look at the little fwroggy!") and intelligent conversation had snapped a small branch off a tree and was circling it around her head, body and ankles. Ok, maybe she has OCD. If she has OCD she needs rituals like that to function, right? Even I have certain rituals I need to go through in certain situations but I do them in my head to avoid freaking people out any more than a pierced, tattooed lesbian from Stockport already would.

At this point, Glen had started talking with a strong Aboriginal accent and dialect which is recognisably Australian but they sometimes structure their sentences slightly different, use distinctive words white Australians don't and their accent stands out from white Australians an all. If you spoke to an Aborigine on the phone you'd be able to tell. He told us that he would let the old people at this site know we were coming and they didn't have to fear us and they were welcome to look into our hearts. Ok, fair enough, this was a wee bit odd but hey, its his thing and we were in his world now. Cool. As we walked into the burial ground he called out in his local Aboriginal language and we all followed, Mary clapping rhythmically.

We all wandered round mainly in silence, it was a burial ground after all and the bones and skulls nestled in a hole in the rocks reminded us of this. Then Glen separated the guys from the girls and led, me, Lil, Pam, Pat, Isabelle and Mary to a section he said was only for the women. This is common in Aboriginal culture, there are places only men can go and places only women can go as well as places everyone can go. He told us to go in and take our time, take it all in and left us at the entrance. It was at this point Mary turned round almost in tears and said loudly, "I would like to lead the women back to this place! Does anyone have a problem with this?"

A problem? Nope, no problem at all, Crazy Lady! She started walking into the area, clapping rhythmically again and shouting loudly about respecting the guardians to the right or something. I fled back to the blokes to talk about footy and beer where Dick was wondering what Glen thought he was doing, letting a load of women go off on their own, it could only mean trouble.

I was chatting to Pat and Lil about what happened a bit later on, Pat said she thought Mary was on some sort of spiritual journey. Well she's on fucking something anyway. I mean, she's a nice enough lass and her heart's in the right place but she's a fucking nut job.

Windjana Spirits

Clean And Plyed With Booze

Anyway, we looked at some more Wandjina art that we could photograph then headed to Drysdale and the hot showers where I removed all excess body hair before it tried to dredd and settled down with a cold beer.

Fucking bliss.

I curled up in my swag that night, content and at peace with the world, hoping to fuck that someone had remembered to hide the sharp implements from Mary.

written by  Koala Bear on July 21, 2007 from Drysdale, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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El Questro Gorge

El Questro Gorge

Nope, my finger didn't slip on the zeros then, its two thousand dollars per night. I have no idea what this will get you but for that price I'd want topless waitresses and oral sex.

Earlier in the day we'd had lunch at a lookout that randomly had chairs and tables positioned in the middle of nowhere where, apparently, the posh folks from Home Valley station went to watch the sunset. As I stuffed the Biggest Sandwich In The World into my mouth I wondered how much they paid to get up here for their sunset which would no doubt involve champagne and a tablecloth. I bet it was no where near what the El Questro posh folks paid for theirs.

El Shiny Town; Note The Helicopter In The Background

After a quick walk through El Questro Gorge and a mad dash up an intense 4WD track to Branco's Lookout for nibbles at sunset (check us out, how El Questro are we?) it was time for hot showers and cold beers and a quick talk why we had to beat the Connections tour bus to Zebedee Hot Springs the next day, there were about 20 of them and there's limited space in the pools. No worries, as Tom pointed out they wouldn't go very fast with flat tyres... No, apparently this wasn't an option, we just had to get up early. Oh what a fucking surprise.

Later on I caught sight of myself in the full length mirror in the shower; I was getting proper fat, I looked three months gone. It must be all that Proper Food, it must be just sitting in my stomach not digesting because my body hasn't got a fucking clue what to do with it.

The diet, as always, would start tomorrow.

written by  Koala Bear on July 22, 2007 from Gibb, Australia
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The Girls In The Hot Pools

Zebedee Thermal Pools

It was today that we finished the Gibb River Road and got back onto the tarmac. We'd done it, we'd survived the Gibb. Ok, so we survived it in a big shiny air conditioned bus driven by an expert but hey, we did it anyway. And so it was onto Kununurra where we'd be losing Pat, Dick, Lil, Tom, Pam and Scott because they had better things to do than go back to Broome.

Scott, Isabelle, Me, Pat, Dick, Lil, Pam, Mary, Bill And Tom

Ok, here's the thing, tomorrow we had a whole free day to ourselves and I couldn't even fill an afternoon. Seriously, it takes about 4 minutes to walk around town and I didn't fancy any of the overpriced cruises up the Ord River. I did however manage to find a 4 litre cask of goon in a bottle shop. This made me happier than it should have done and I made a mental note to keep a close eye on my drinking habits although I quickly forgot this mental note later on when me and Isabelle were drinking it out of the bag.
So I was trotting back to the camp site, chuckling to myself over the discovery of the joyous 4 litre cask of goon when Scott pulled up in his Landcruiser and asked me if I wanted to go out on his boat.

Scott's Jet Boat

Elephant Rock

Oh, ok then. We drove to his and took his boat back up the river to the campsite to fetch the others. On the way we went passed Elephant Rock, so called because it looks like an elephant.

Erm... does it?

We watched the sunset over the Ord River from Scott's boat which shat all over the posh expensive sunsets the people at the station pay for then went to the local pub for a last meal together and a few drinks.

Sunset Over Lake Kununurra

Despite the age differences we'd all got on really well, Pat and Dick even said I could go and stay with them in Tasmania any time I wanted on the condition I didn't swear in front of their grandkids.

Swear? Moi?

I'm sure I don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

written by  Koala Bear on July 23, 2007 from Kununurra, Australia
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Whatever, we could get up when we felt like it and fill our mornings however we chose. We didn't have anything to do until 9am when we'd be dropping Pam off at the coach stop, leaving Bill in town because he was over large bodies of water containing crocodiles and picking Pat and Dick up from their motel because they had the sense to book into one instead of sleeping on the floor in a swag for their last couple of nights in WA before heading to Scott's place again.

Launching The Boat

Pat In The Tube

Scott's lovely, he's one of them blokes that are incredibly good looking and genuinely nice with it. Bastard. He's also got money, I actually heard the words "only $3000" come out of his mouth. In that order. Only $3000? Is that it? I'll have two.
He was going to take me, Pam, Dick, Isabelle, Mary and Glen out for the day where we'd be dragged along the Ord on body boards and tubes. And here's me worrying about how I was going to fill the day.

Lovin' It

One Way To Spend A Morning

Being dragged along by a jet boat is loads of fun, you just have to remember to let go out the rope if you come off the board or you risk giving the crocs an interesting view of your nipples. There's also a 10 metre jump into the river, about the same height as the big jump at Blackwall Reach which I only did once then seemed to leave my nerve in the car every time I went back. Apparently I must have forgotten to collect it this time as well, I got to the top and my legs refused to let me jump. My head wanted to do it, I know its a rush and I know I'd love it once I did it but nope, the legs thought better of it. This is obviously something I need to deal with, I only need two irrational fears in my life and those are spiders and commitment. Babies scare me as well but they're a bit slower than spiders and you can usually stamp on them before they try and run up your leg.

Pretty Places

Pretty Views

Ok I'm just trying to put off what I'm going to say next. Pat did the jump. Pat's 69. I was put to shame by a 69 year old woman. If I'm half the woman Pat is when I'm 69 I'll be happy, she has a go at everything, no questions asked, she's an inspiration. In short, Pat rocks.

Only me, Bill, Isabelle and Mary from the original group would be heading back and tonight we were joined by four of our new crew who'd be coming back to Broome with us. There was Sally and Simon, a couple of southern fairies and Paula and Ed, two northern monkeys from Sale. We had a BBQ then me and the new lot bonded the only way English people know how; Down the pub.

written by  Koala Bear on July 24, 2007 from Kununurra, Australia
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It took most the day to get to the Bungles then we did the Cathedral Gorge walk which is just brilliant.

The Only Way Into Purnululu

I have no regrets about the way I do things and I'll never give this life up for anything.

Somewhere along this walk, if you stop, stand next to a certain rock and listen you can hear a humming noise coming out of the actual rock. Mary said the rocks were singing but Mary's a fucking fruit loop. Its just full of bees, millions of robber bees, so called because they rob off with other bees honey and lock it inside rocks so nothing can rob it off them. Pikeys.

Eventually you come to the reason its called Cathedral Gorge, its like this massive cave with a brilliant echo. Mary started doing her thing with branches again so I hung back to make sure there'd be no weirdness before I went in. We chilled there for a bit then headed up to a lookout to watch the sunset over Purnululu with chips and dips and pickled onions. This was the sweatiest we'd been since the trip started and it was the only time we didn't have access to any water at all, no swimming and no showers apart from a hosepipe hooked up to a cold tap.

And If You Look Closely You Can Just About Make Out My 6th Chin

But yeah, Purnululu is brilliant. It's just utterly peaceful, fucking awesome. And to think I could have been back in Perth at this point.

Nope. Not for anything.

written by  Koala Bear on July 25, 2007 from Purnululu National Park, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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Taking Off

Fuckin' Love Choppers, Me

Aaaanyways, the flight was awesome, I love helicopters, they're just so fucking cool!

Once we were all firmly grounded it was time for more walks through pretty places that we could ooh and ahh at. There's not much else to say about them, its all about the scenery and the photos don't do it justice but what the hell, I can't think of anything else suitably coherent to say.

Have some more photos.

Purnululu Sunset

Tree People

I was back in Broome about an hour when I randomly bumped into four people I knew in three separate places before I even got back up to the MCG to say hi to everyone. Ahh, Broome. Gotta love the tinyness. I also went to McDonalds to get a quick grease fix and got some very odd looks off a lad called Dan who Nicki had an interest in. Now, let me take you on a little trip down Not Much Of A Memory Lane...

Nights You Can't Remember With Friends You'll Never Forget
A while ago after a big night out we stumbled back to the campsite where Nicki asked me to call this lad who worked at McDonalds so, being the pissed up matchmaker I was called him at some obscene hour in the morning and demanded to know when he was taking Nicki out for a Chinese and a movie. He agreed to take her out and they met up a few times.

Aaaanyway, forwards to my leaving Broome party. Everyone had come to the Last Resort where I was staying and we'd had a few drinks there on top of the drinks me and Loody started on not too long after lunch. I remember leaving the Lastys. I remember getting to the Oasis. I even remember leaving that bar and getting home at some foolish hour. I have no recollection of what happened between leaving the hostel and getting to the bar.

Nicki does.

Apparently, me and Rachel had demanded to know which one was Dan and Nicki had no choice but to point him out because we were being so loud about it. He works at the drive through window so we got in our imaginary car, me driving, Rachel in shotgun DJing and Nicki in the back. Apparently she didn't want to be in the back but we made her because Rachel wanted to be DJ and it was my imaginary car but still, she actually got into our car and we walked through the drive through.

Making car noises.

It gets better.

After that I believe I spent a good while shouting at Dan and demanding that he take Nicki out while Rachel ordered fries. Once she'd finished them she asked Dan for a free refill and when he said no she told him, "You suck! I'm gonna tell Nicki you suck then she won't go out with you!" At this point I apologised for her behaviour because of course my behaviour at this point was perfectly acceptable then proceeded to escort her off the premises because she was drunk.

We stumbled out of Maccas, turned round to Nicki who was cowering outside and said, "Erm... I don't think your romance is a romance anymore."

So that would be why the poor bloke asked his supervisor for a break as soon as he saw me.

Yep, definitely the right time to be leaving Broome for good methinks.

written by  Koala Bear on July 28, 2007 from Broome, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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Sarah who I know from Rainbow Lodge had flown to Broome the previous night to come to Darwin. Neil was meant to be coming but he dropped out so Nicki, whos romance me and Rachel (but probably mainly me) had destroyed had decided to come as well.
I dragged them off for one of my trademark early starts because I wanted to stay at a rest stop we'd had lunch at on the All Terrain Safaris tour because it was pretty and there were crocs in the river which meant we had over 600km to cover and I wanted to get there in the light. We stocked up the esky and hit the road.

Nicki, Sarah And Me At Mary Pool Rest Stop

After developing a somewhat disturbing habit up the West Coast of keeping food in the esky it was good to see it full of shiny silver goon bags and a litre of milk for tea making purposes. Food should be kept to a minimum in an esky as it takes up precious space needed for the ice to keep the goon cool although lets face it, cold goon tastes just as bad as warm goon. Its not even real goon in Broome, its actual wine with names like Chardonnay or Semillion Sauvengion or other things that should be pronounced with a bad French accent.

Anyway, today was just a mad dash to Mary Pool rest stop, about an hour from Halls Creek. We posed for photos with a crocodile, collected some firewood and made friends with the people who'd been there a few days for reasons we could never fathom.

And That's About As Close As I Was Getting

Mary Pool is a nice place to spend the night but just the night, it really is a rest stop in the middle of nowhere. Nicki and Sarah set their tents up and a bloke came over and warned us about the cows, apparently they wander through the site alot but they probably wouldn't trample the tents, I should be careful in my swag though.

Took Forever To Collect This Wood

Backpacker Silver Service

Right on cue a huge bovine stampeded through the caravans and cars. I abandoned my usual habit of sleeping by the fire that night. If I'd have slept any closer to the car I'd have been under it.

written by  Koala Bear on July 29, 2007 from Mary Pool, Australia
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He had no bloody fear, the little bleeder. The next parrot that tries to take my breakfast will become breakfast.

Meet Bruce

On A Mission To Nom Our Food

And then it was onto Wolfe Creek, 154km south of Halls Creek along the unsealed Tanami Road that runs all the way to Alice Springs. When Sarah had tried to get there last year apparently it was a shocking road, they couldn't get over 20kph so they gave up but this time it had been recently graded and apart from the huge, unsignposted dips you have to look out for you can get your speed up to about 80 - 110kph on the good bits. The only bit you might want to worry about in a 2WD is the last 10km of the turnoff, its just rocky and corrugated and there are three or four gates you have to go through. It was at one of these that Nicki lost her iPod, we went back for it but someone must have picked it up.

Bugger. I'd also lost a hubcap somewhere along the way but to be honest I needed a new set anyway on account of my habit of using kerbs as a handy Stop When You Hear The Crunch parking gauge.

Welcome To Wolfe Creek

In The Middle Of The Crater

Wolfe Creek Meteorite Crater

There's free camping, like, right at the bottom of the crater and about 4 or 5 other people were camping there. Wolfe Creek isn't scary at all. Its a good, well used road in, people stay here all the time and there's a distinct lack of sociopaths and psychotic murderers in utes equipped with spotlights so they can dazzle their intended victim while they stumble about screaming, "Who are you?! What do you want from me?! What have you done with (insert name of unfortunate now ex boyfriend here) you bastard!"

What? What do you mean I watch too many films?

Our Camp At Wolfe Creek

Wolfe Creek is something else though. We climbed into the crater, realised how unfit we were when we climbed back out and watched the sunset from the rim. It was a full moon rise that night an all, it was awesome, second only to a Broome Staircase moon rise.

Fuck I love my life.

written by  Koala Bear on July 30, 2007 from Wolfe Creek, Australia
from the travel blog: Sod Off Great Big Mission Round Oz
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Florence Falls

Florence Falls

Oh what? Come on, WA is still my favorite state, its just that the Territory has the best National Park. I know I know, its a controversial statement but Lichfield is more accessible than Karijini and the swimming holes are slightly warmer. Just watch yourself in Florence Falls, I felt something scratch my leg and looked down and there was this little fish just looking at me. It had gone for one of the mozzy bites on my leg, apparently they're some kind of cleaning fish and they'll try and clean out any wounds that you have.

Oh thanks, very fucking helpful! Try using cotton wool or something next time you vicious little sod.

Chillin' In Buley Rockholes

Buley Rockholes

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Wooooo!

Lichfield is like a big, natural waterpark, Buley Rockhole is fun, its like a little cascade you can follow down, one of the pools is about 6 metres deep so you can jump in off the side. Its only a little jump though, I managed this one and at least there were no 69 year old women to put me to shame this time.

Tolmer Falls

Collecting Firewood In A Sedan

Camping is $6.60 per person per night, we stayed at Wangi Falls because they're pretty and there's a little pool a few metres up the rock face which is a bit warmer than the rest of the plunge pool. I mean, I'm not saying you'd run your bath to that temperature but its still nice enough for you not to want to get back into the cold pool afterwards.

Wangi Falls